Update May 2017: Well, I'm deleting all the author's notes that mention it, but... around this chapter is when I created a blog for ftpverse on blogspot! So, if you'd like to go digging through the archive for chapter commentary and misc details about ftpverse from the Dead Inside era, then maybe check it out! it's "rarmastersftpverse" on blogspot because I thought ftpverse was too simple and it's too late to change it.

(You can also check out ftpverse on tumblr, which has even more fun facts and things about ftpverse and Dead Inside, but spoilers are less obviously marked there! Blogspot was a 2013-2015 thing, and tumblr a 2015 on thing, if you want to solidify timelines for any reason.)

Update May 2016: the contents of this chapter and the previous chapter got swapped for pacing reasons. Everything's still intact, just, in different spots now.

Chapter 57: A Cry From The Heart

Sora hit the ground with a thud. "Ugh…" he groaned. "Talk about a rough transit… this is what I get for not focusing."

Though, after leaving like that, he was surprised the transit hadn't been too terrible. It could have been worse. There was only a dull buzz in his ears, nothing more. He found his star shard laying about three inches from his face and quickly grabbed it.

He slowly pushed himself up, and raised his eyebrows in shock, noticing something in the grass. Something he probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't have landed in the world flat on his face. There was a bag, laying abandoned in the grass.

Funny… he thought, grabbing it. That looks just like Namine's schoolbag...

Didn't she say she lost it?

Dropped it in some world while… umm… that one Vexen Replica was chasing her.

Sora frowned and glanced off to the side at some grass, as if it would tell him the answer to his question. It, however, did not. And, for the life of him, he couldn't remember the number of the Vexen Replica.

"Oh well," he sighed, reaching to pull it over to him. Upon closer inspection he realized it sure did look identical to Namine's but to be sure, he dug the sketchbook out of it and flipped through a couple pages.

It wasn't long before he was sure it was Namine's. It was impossible to mistake her drawing style.

He kept flipping through it, fondness for his friend and the memories some of these pictures held bubbling up in his chest.

Then there was one that caught his attention. He stopped on it, his heart feeling like it tore itself in two. It was a picture of him and Kairi. He was falling backwards into a sea of darkness, hand outstretched, trying to grab onto something. And Kairi stood above him, in the light, trying to catch him as he fell.

He swallowed, trying to hold back tears, but to no avail.

"If you ever want to talk, just let me know, alright?" she had said.

"Sora? Are you okay?" she had asked.

"Sora! You don't have to do this!" she had warned him.

"Sora, are you even listening to me?" she had yelled.

"Sora!" she had shouted.

"But I never listened…" he whispered. "Kairi… I'm so, so sorry!"

His whisper turned into a heartfelt cry, ringing out throughout the emptiness that surrounded him. He was crying out, as if she could hear him. Crying out, as if the message would be carried along.

Crying out, because he wanted so very much to be heard.

Then why don't you just go home and talk to her? asked a nagging voice at the back of his mind. But he knew the answer. He had many reasons.

His Shadow being one of them.

Besides, what's the likeliness that she'll forgive me?

I treated her so awfully, why in the Worlds would she want me back?

I still want to apologize, though…

He swallowed again. Slowly, his freehand reached into his pocket and he pulled out Kairi's letter. He unfolded it and read it again, quietly and carefully saying each word to himself, as if he intended to memorize it.

She wants me to come home.

She wants to talk to me.

He carefully folded up the letter again, not wanting to think the next thought. He dared to anyway:

So maybe it's just me who's chicken to go home.

He shied away from the thought as soon as he had thought it. He closed the sketchbook quickly, his mind quickly wandering somewhere else, anywhere else. The air around him was stiff, and he suddenly wanted to be somewhere else, too.

He glanced down at the sketchbook again.

If this is Namine's, I should take it back to her.

But what am I supposed to do, just show up in Castle Oblivion and hand it to her?

Things were rough when I left. They probably don't want to see me either.

I still need to return it though.

For some reason, his thoughts drifted away from that. He was thinking of Hollow Bastion again. Thinking of how he left there, why he left there.

And even if they did want to see me, he concluded. I couldn't stay long. My Shadow could hurt them, too.

He laughed, a bitter sound.

I can't stay anywhere then, until he's gone.

On my own until then, I guess.

For some reason, he was smiling.

I feel bad for leaving Hollow Bastion, though. They were still having Heartless problems. I was probably doing a big help.

His smile turned into a grin, suddenly getting an idea. He flipped the sketchbook open to the back page, then reached into Namine's bag and grabbed a colored pencil at random—and, had to put it back, because it was yellow. Once he had a suitable color (as in, one you could see if he wrote in it), Sora bent over the sketchbook and started writing his message.

To make sure Namine and Riku got it, he tore it out of the sketchbook and, after a moment's deliberation, just placed it in the top of the bag. Namine'd find it when she looked into the bag to find her sketchbook, so, no big deal.

Satisfied with that, Sora picked up the bag and got to his feet.

"To Castle Oblivion," he whispered.

xxx

"Hey, Riku, I've got something to tell you!" Namine called.

Riku turned away from 19. They had been discussing the latest batch of research that 19 had found. It was as unhelpful as the rest. He raised his eyebrows in the direction of Namine, wondering what was up. He was surprised to find her running towards him. She was clutching her sketchbook tightly to her chest, and the look on her face couldn't have been happier.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, finding himself smiling, too.

She skidded to a halt in front of him, seeming out of breath but too happy to care. She handed the sketchbook to him, which he took, a bit confused. She laughed after a moment, noting his confusion.

"It's my old one!" she exclaimed.

Riku's eyes widened in shock. "And where did you find it?" he asked.

"I didn't!" she replied. "I mean, I did. It and my bag were just laying on my bed, and, they definitely weren't there before! I think Sora found them..."

"Sora?" Riku asked, a little surprised. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, this, here..." Namine pulled a folded piece of paper out of her sketchbook, and handed it over to Riku.

Riku unfolded it, eyebrows raising as he studied it.

There was a message:

"Hey, if you aren't too busy, do you think you could head over to Hollow Bastion for a bit? Leon's gang is over there, and they're having some Heartless trouble. I had to leave in a hurry, and I bet they would love the help.

Oh! And ask about Cid's soup."

"That's Sora's handwriting," Riku said after a moment, and then laughed. "Funny, he said he didn't want to go back to Hollow Bastion, but now he's telling us to go there."

Namine shrugged. "Are we going?"

"Well, I-" Riku began, and then swallowed. "They're having a Heartless problem, it could be dangerous."

Namine rolled her eyes. "I'll be safe as long as you're there, right?" she asked, eyes glinting with amusement. "Besides, with everyone else there, I doubt I could possibly get into too much trouble."

Riku regarded her with silence, unsure of what to say. He wanted her to come.

He didn't want her to come.

But he… did want her to come.

He turned to 19, who hadn't moved, just stood there, listening to the conversation take place. He shrugged.

"If you want to go, I think we could hold down the fort for a few days," he said, laughter twinkling in his eyes. "Besides, it would be good for you to get out of here for a bit. You have been here for quite a few months. I understand. Castle Oblivion gets boring after a while."

Riku swallowed. That wasn't his problem at all. But how was he supposed to explain-

"Riku!" came a very loud shout, accompanied by the sound of footsteps. 29 skidded around the corner and stopped in front of them all, panting for breath.

"What's Joseph gotten himself into this time?" 19 asked.

29 shook his head, finally looking up at all of them. His face was notably paler than usual, and his eyes were filled with terror. "It's not Joseph," he said, voice barely coming out.

"Then… who-" Namine began.

Riku didn't wait for an answer. He ran to find out.