Chapter 62: Hope and Fear

"My head…" Namine groaned, sitting up. She rubbed her head and then glanced over at Riku. He was looking at her, a bit confused.

"Are you awake?" he asked slowly.

She laughed. "Yeah, I think so."

"Sorry," he laughed. "I just… wasn't sure. You didn't sleep too well… kept waking up. And you were always not entirely awake. But you're awake now, right?" He sounded worried, but when she nodded he relaxed slightly.

"I don't feel like I slept, though," she muttered. "I kept having nightmares and-" She stopped suddenly, realizing why exactly she had been having nightmares. She turned away, unable to stand Riku's gaze any longer.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Your head still hurt?"

"No…" she whispered voice catching slightly. "Not my head."

Riku frowned. "Are you hurt?" he pressed, worry creeping into his voice. The worry was quickly followed by anger. "Did that Larxene Replica-" He stopped suddenly when she turned to him again. Her eyes were filled with tears.

He swallowed, heart turning in his chest.

"Riku- I- I am so sorry!" she sobbed.

He shook his head, confused and starting to look upset, too. "You keep apologizing," he said. "But I don't understand what for."

"Larxene said that- that I smashed your heart," she gasped. "And- and there was something to do with shattered memories and-"

Riku's eyes lit up with recognition.

That memory! he thought, and then winced. No wonder she's so upset…

"Namine," he sighed.

"-hurt so much and I feel so awful-" she continued, as if she hadn't heard him. She might not have.

"Namine," he repeated, louder this time. Still, she ignored him.

"I mean- I didn't even know I could do that, let alone imagine why in the Worlds I would even want to-"

"That wasn't you," Riku said, a tad desperately.

This stopped her. She stared at him for a moment, in shock and disbelief.

"It wasn't?" she asked, her voice quiet and a bit hopeful.

"Parallel universe, parallel Namine," Riku explained simply. "That was her, not you."

Namine let out a sigh of relief. "Seriously?" she exclaimed, sounding much happier now.

Riku nodded.

"And here I was freaking out over nothing!" Namine laughed, now sounding embarrassed, but still happy and relieved. "I thought that- that I-" She laughed again. "I just couldn't believe that would ever happen. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Riku, no matter what the cost."

"Really?" Riku asked, sounding shocked.

She nodded. "You'd do the same for me," she told him plainly.

Riku started to smile, but something stopped him. "You know," he said after a moment. "I wouldn't mind if you had to hurt me. If it was that or… die… I'd rather I get hurt. And I wouldn't blame you, either."

Namine laughed. "I still wouldn't want to do it," she said.

Riku made a face, as if trying to decide whether or not he was going to argue with that. Eventually, he must have deiced it wasn't worth it, because he shook his head and sighed. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked, instead.

She nodded, grinning.

"Let's go to Hollow Bastion, then," he said.

xxx

I really can't let him bother me, Sora thought irritably as they walked through Halloween Town. His Shadow was talking away, his chains in a constant twirl beside him. Sora was doing his best to ignore him. Every now and then a Heartless would pop up next to them, and Sora would start to pull his blade to attack it, only for his Shadow to stop him. And with only a wave of his Shadow's hands, the Heartless would leave them alone.

"I don't need you killing them," his Shadow would explain time and time again. "They are basic and mindless, but they make good minions. And it's not like they'll harm you if I'm here."

And each time, Sora just gritted his teeth and continued to try and not hate his Shadow. He was sure his Shadow was getting amusement from the struggle, but he would rather amusement than strength.

The more I let him bother me… the stronger he gets… Sora reminded himself. Therefore, if I just… don't hate him… or let him bother me…

Well…

I'm not sure…

And it sure is hard.

He gasped in shock as his darkness suddenly reared up within him. He glanced over at his Shadow, who was just grinning.

Not to mention the fact he keeps doing THAT, Sora sighed, clutching his chest again and pausing. He quickly fought his darkness back down and cast a glare at his Shadow. His Shadow only continued to grin.

This is ridiculous… I'd almost rather just fight him.

But only almost…

Besides, twenty minutes have to be up sometime soon. Just need to hold in a bit longer-

His foot caught on something and he fell forward. He quickly threw his hands out to catch himself, but still ended up scraping his knees and landing flat on his face. He groaned and pushed himself back up, casting a glare over his shoulder at his Shadow, who was now doubled over with laughter.

"Goodness, are you alright?" came a different voice.

Sora turned, surprised to find Jack Skellington looking down at him, concerned. After a second Jack bent down and offered his hand to Sora. He took it and let Jack pull him to his feet.

"Thanks," he said. "I just… tripped, that's all."

Jack frowned. "Over what?" he asked.

Sora glanced around, noting that there was nothing on the ground that he could have possibly tripped on. He glanced over at his Shadow, who was still laughing. He sighed and then turned back to Jack. "Over… nothing… I guess…" he replied.

"Over nothing?" Jack said, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "How scary!"

"I-oof!"

At this, Sora's Shadow had shoved him, causing him to stumble.

"You must have one of those pesky ghosts following you!" Jack declared as Sora steadied himself.

"He's not a ghost," Sora muttered.

"Someone invisible then?" Jack asked, and then laughed. "What a brilliant idea! Can I use that for this year's Halloween? We still haven't found something scary enough, and this might just be it!"

"Good luck trying to get said invisible person to cooperate," Sora told him.

"Oh thank you!" Jack said with a grin as he started off. "This is just too perfect! Now all I need to do is ask Sally for help with-"

His voice trailed off as he got further and further away.

"I would absolutely love to help them with their Halloween!" Sora's Shadow said, something close to a childish grin on his face. "I would just go around and trip people randomly, and say creepy things… and those people that could hear me would freak and the people who couldn't would think that the people who could were crazy! Talk about awesome!"

Sora stared at his Shadow with shock. "You're wanting to be nice?" he asked. "And actually help people? You're kidding me, right? Why would you do something like that?"

"I'm serious!" the Shadow replied, still grinning like a little kid. "Do you realize just how much fun that-" he stopped suddenly and raised his eyebrows. There was an evil glint forming in his eye. "Sora!" he gasped in mock surprise. "You're beginning to sound like me!"

Sora's shock immediately fell into a glare. "I don't want to be like you!" he shouted, taking a step back. "You're evil and cruel and disgusting-"

"And devilishly handsome and funny," his Shadow finished, grinning. "I don't see what your problem is!"

Sora opened his mouth to say something, but his Shadow didn't give him the chance.

"Besides," he continued. "It's not like you can prevent this from happening. The connection between us is strong. One of us will eventually end up becoming more like the other, whether we like it or not. We can't avoid it."

"And how come I'm going to be the one to change?" Sora asked.

"Because I'm a hell of a lot stronger than you!" his Shadow laughed. "And, with that thought left to haunt you, I'll just be on my way!"

And with a flash of darkness, he was gone.

"Hey!" Sora shouted after him. "I wasn't done talking to you!"

It was no use.

Sora swallowed and turned away.

I'm… going to become like him? he thought slowly.

I don't want to be like him…

He slowly clutched his chest, knowing that the darkness in his heart was still there, still festering, still waiting for the opportune moment.

Will the darkness change me like that? he wondered. Will I become nothing more than someone who laughs at everyone else's pain with sick enjoyment? Someone who everyone hates, but doesn't care?

Someone who ENJOYS being hated…

Sora shook his head. "No…" he whispered. "I can't let myself become like that. I can't."