Author's Note: Thank you once more to Azar443 for being such an amazing FF confidante and twin! Anyone who hasn't read her ArMor fics, you're missing out. I recommend "I Think I Could Love You" and "Revelations" (for those who like Estella, she is featured in both of them).
This chapter's dedicated to AndyAiden, my lovely parabatai who has given me ideas for new OCs and of course wonderful Azar443. Love you guys!
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Excalibur
Estella nurses a goblet of wine as she paces her chambers while her personal maidservant, Hefina, packs for the Duchess' journey to Camelot for Prince Arthur's birthday celebration and crowning ceremony.
It is rather a shame that on short visits to Camelot, Estella cannot bring her most trusted servant, but Uther insisted on as few people from Caerleon entering Camelot as possible. The Knights who escorted her to Camelot were not even allowed the privilege to rest for the night. Uther is far too suspicious of Agravaine for that, the only reason they are still in contact is because of their mutual niece.
Although they are not exactly friends, Estella got on better with Hefina than with Gwen. Unlike the latter, Hefina is more of a confident and sultry woman rather than sweet and meek and her mistress admired that in her. Despite her inferior birth, she stands out as her own person. Being smart enough to keep her head down when the situation commanded it, but rebellious enough to do some uncouth things anyway, such as being the lover of a noble knight of Caerleon, but this not what is plaguing the noblewoman's mind.
Something is going to happen soon, she can just feel it and yet she does not know what it is. Her gift of the Sight is not as sharp as Morgana's and so, unless the visions pertained to destiny or prophecy, they would fade from her mind as soon as she opened her eyes.
There is a knock upon her door, interrupting her contemplation, and she promptly says, "Enter."
A tall, flaxen-haired knight comes in, nods his head to the servant, and bows to the noblewoman. "My Lady, you sent for me?"
"Indeed, I did, Sir Ethan," Estella answers. Looking to her maid, "Hefina, if you would…" The younger woman nods dutifully and goes to wait outside the door. She knows of her mistress' intentions, but she must help to ensure that no one else does. And her Lady trusts her to do that.
Said Lady walks over to desk and finishes her wine. It is silent for a time after the maid leaves the chambers and this worries Ethan. There is nothing that happens in and around the duchy of Caerleon that the Duchess Estella does not know about. Therefore she is aware of Ethan and Hefina secretly seeing each other, but whether she approves or not is a mystery to them. If Lord Agravaine learned of their affair, there would be grave consequences.
The woman gives him a knowing look. "Don't look so anxious, this has nothing whatsoever to do with Hefina." He breathes a sigh of relief and waits for her to continue. "Sir Ethan you are my loyal knight, my best huntsman, and you have never failed me in any task I've set upon you, am I correct?"
"Yes, my Lady."
She goes on. "And that is exactly why I trust you to carry out this mission successfully." She picks up a piece of parchment with the sketch of a man on it and gives it to him. "I need you to find this man – but not to kill him. I only want his whereabouts as soon as you locate him."
Along with this strange request, he notices the urgency. The knight's brow furrows, "Why is he of such value?"
"That, as of the moment, is none of your concern." She quirks a thin brow, "Why; do you refuse to do this mission?"
"Of course, not, my Lady, I will do as you command. My curiosity simply begs for an explanation." He assures humbly.
Her gray gaze sharpens as she scrutinizes him and the knight shifts uncomfortably. "I hope you are thankful that I am fond of Hefina and that she cares for you because your curiosity would have gotten you killed long ago." Ethan visibly swallows and the woman shakes her head and turns to her window. "Forgive my brashness, I am weary."
"Is something the matter?" he asks with concern.
"Very much so, indeed," she replies rather absently. Looking back at him now, "Do you understand your task?"
Ethan nods, "Yes, my Lady. I promise that I will not fail you."
"Make sure of it." There is a deadly threat hiding under the command. "Go now, Sir Ethan."
Bowing in farewell, "My Lady," he quickly leaves to prepare for his hunt.
Estella gracefully dismounts her gray horse and turns to her retinue. "I'm sorry that the king will not allow you to stay and join the celebrations." She voices sincerely.
One of the knights walks his horse to her. "No need to apologize my fair Lady, 'tis not your fault." He reaches down and grasps her hand. "I will await the day I may return to see your lovely face once more." He plants a chivalrous kiss upon her hand.
The Lady rolls her eyes, only mildly amused. "You are charming Sir Kahedin, but not charming enough," she pulls her hand from his grasp.
Had Lord Agravaine been present, he would have berated her for such actions. "The title of Duchess has been granted upon you now, start behaving accordingly!" She had huffed at that, really when has she not behaved accordingly. Even her Uncle Uther is a much more tolerant guardian.
"Estella!" she looks to the stairs to see her aforementioned uncle striding toward her. Gliding away from Kahedin, she meets her uncle.
Curtsying slightly, she murmurs, "Uncle."
He laughs heartily and pulls her into his embrace. "Oh, the days have been dark as of late."
The young woman laughs, lightly. "Then I fear I must leave in case my presence causes them to become darker."
The king chuckles as he releases his niece and moves her toward the castle. "Come, my dear, you have arrived later than expected and I'm sure that Morgana and Arthur wish to see you before the celebrations tonight."
"Oh, if only they loved me that much," She declares in mock aspiration.
Her uncle gives her a fond smile. "It is good to have you back."
"It's good to be back, Uncle." He kisses her forehead lightly and then walks down the corridor toward the council chambers.
A voice floats into the hall. "Well, I am very much offended."
Estella sighs warily, though affection is still present, "By what now, Arthur?"
"The lack of confidence you have in the fact that I do love you, cousin."
She purses her lip and feigns concentration. "I'm sincerely sorry, though I shouldn't be, since you are obviously not. I think you have too much love for yourself that there is none to spare for me."
Her obvious attempt to keep from laughing assures the prince that his cousin is not being serious and so he chuckles lightly. "So, Duchess, how was your journey?"
"As well as it could've been; is Morgana in her rooms?" He nearly rolls his eyes at her habit of constantly changing the subject, but the sight of Owain rounding the corner, spotting Estella, and then speedily retreating the way he came, made him pause.
When she clears her throat, demanding an answer, "I suppose she is."
Quirking an eyebrow (and though aware of what had just occurred) she decides to tease her cousin, "Why the pause? Is it because you were just there and the activities that transpired during the visit resulted in your rumpled clothes?"
He blinks and then shakes his head, "Wait, what?"
"You really must learn discretion; I do not think the king would approve of you bedding his ward."
The younger man flushes. "Wait- I haven't- we haven't-"
The woman snickers while walking toward the staircase. "Yes, cousin you've convinced me." Though of what she doesn't clarify.
That night, Estella walks with Morgana to the hall of ceremonies. Usually, they would be escorted by Uther and Arthur respectively, but tonight is the prince's crowning and so the cousins accompany each other. The two women stand at their places at the table as Arthur walks forward and kneels before his father.
Holding the scepter near his chest, Uther begins, "Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominions according to the statutes, customs and laws laid down by your forebears?"
"I do, Sire," Arthur answers.
"Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgments?"
The prince nods, "I do, Sire."
Extending the scepter towards his son, "And do you swear allegiance to Camelot, now and for as long as you shall live?"
Gripping the scepter, "I, Arthur Pendragon, do pledge life and limb to your service and to the protection of the kingdom and its peoples."
Smiling, the king turns to the servant next to him and picks up Arthur's crown, "Now being of age and heir apparent, from henceforth, you shall be Crown Prince of Camelot."
The court applauds. Arthur stands up and faces them as Morgana looks at him with pride gleaming in her sea green eyes.
Suddenly a black armored knight on a dark horse bursts through the stained-glass window. Arthur and the knights draw their swords and move in front of the king. Estella shifts closer to Morgana, both of them with daggers ready in their hands.
The horse walks to Arthur and the Black Knight throws down a gauntlet. While everyone else's eyes are on the knight himself, Uther, Gaius, and Estella are looking at the crest on the Black Knight's shield with disbelief.
For Estella's part, she is beyond disbelief. The crest of a white phoenix on a black field – the unique symbol worn only by one knight in history – adapted from a gray phoenix on a midnight blue field; the crest of the de Bois house, Estella's house. She knows with every fiber of her being that the Black Knight is…
Arthur sheathes his sword and moves to pick up the gauntlet, but another knight gets there first.
Standing a bit arrogantly with the gauntlet in hand, he says, "I, Sir Owain, accept your challenge."
The knight shifts his head to Owain and tells him the rules: "Single combat, noon tomorrow, till the death." And then he rides out while all heads turn to look upon Owain. Estella makes a quick departure from the hall, clearly distraught and unnoticed by everyone but Morgana and Arthur.
...
"He shouldn't have picked up the gauntlet!" Arthur seethes.
"So put an end to it." Morgana says as she approaches him.
"The challenge has been taken up. The fight cannot be stopped."
The Lady insists, "Then fight in his place."
"I can't," he retorts.
"Why not?" she counters
The prince explains, "Owain picked up the gauntlet. Owain is the one who must fight. That's the Knight's Code. He knew that."
As he turns away, Morgana reminds him, "But it's a fight to the death!"
He stops and hangs his head, "I know."
Now, the Lady softens and lowers her voice, fearing that Gwen could overhear some personal information. It's not that she doesn't trust Gwen, but this knowledge is not hers to share with those who did not already know. "Arthur, he's our friend and Estella's…"
He sighs, "I know." The prince goes to the door, but before he leaves he tell her, "I'll speak with him."
It is Morgana's turn to sigh, but she reasons that that is the best he can do in the circumstances.
...
The king's niece looks up as she hears the sound of footsteps and chainmail. Owain comes into view against the dark and shadows of the corridor. The only source of light is from the moon coming through the windows, matching the shade of Estella's own eyes.
"Duchess Estella," Owain addresses her bitingly. He is trying to maintain a nonchalant front, but of course she can see the sadness and hurt. She pities him, but she doesn't regret her former actions. Her Le Fay pride and cool reasoning prevent that.
"I knew you were not the brightest of minds, but I did not realize that you were a complete idiot." Alright, that is a bit harsh after all that she has already said, but she needs to fuel his anger, because ironically enough, Owain sees reason best when he is angry.
The knight scowls. "I thought we were going to have a civil conversation, but I forgot, you have no civility."
"Do not insult me!" she rebukes.
"What, will you use the power of your title and position to punish?" A reasonable question and just what she wanted him to say.
"If I had all the power in Albion I would use it to stop you from fighting the Black Knight."
Owain does not allow himself to hope. "And why does it matter to you?"
"Because I care for you," the duchess admits. "I will say that I never have had and probably never could have true romantic feelings for you, but I did like you and care for you and I still do to an extent, enough to warn you that you will not survive the dual tomorrow."
For quite some time, he assesses what she just told him and somehow he feels relief, but he will not say it and seeing her impatience coming, he finally asks, "And what makes you so certain of this?"
This would have deadpanned her had not for her quick mind that formulated an explanation. "You have never faced mortal combat, you have no experience."
"So it is back to my inexperience?"
"Wouldn't you rather that than me saying your idiocy?" Her eyes resemble the steel of a sharpened sword. "Owain, I know what you are doing. You are only taking this challenge as a way to prove yourself to me, but I tell you there is no need."
His pride will not let him confirm her statement, but she already knows that she is right. "I will not back down from the dual." He tells her with finality. "I will not break the Knight's Code."
And Estella realizes that this is a lost cause. Looking towards the floor, "Then I hope that I have given you some closure."
Owain simply nods that she has and slowly he retreats to his chambers. The duchess remains motionless in the corridor. "You can come out now, cousin."
Morgana jumps at the sound of her cousin's voice directed at her. She abandons her hiding place and approaches Estella. "I'm sorry; I was just looking for you. I didn-"
"No need to apologize, for it is I who should be doing that."
The younger woman's brow furrows, "What do you mean?"
Estella clarifies, "It's my fault that he will meet his death tomorrow."
"Estella, you tried to stop him."
Her cousin shakes her head. "I was able to keep him in line during our affair, but I pushed him away and did not foresee that this would hurt him more than if I simply played him for a lovesick fool."
Morgana knows better than to continue to tell her that the blame should not be on her conscience, but she is curious about one thing. "You said that you never could have true romantic feelings for Owain, what did you mean?"
The older woman chooses the less painful answer. "My family will always mean more to me than a man."
Her perceptive cousin can see that she is holding something back, however, she respects Estella greatly and so she accepts her words. And after a moment, they both retire to their respective chambers.
In the morning, Arthur is in Owain's chambers doing as he had promised Morgana the night before. His over-confident knight did not seem uneasy about the dual and this worries him. Owain is indeed a brave warrior, but he is still young and lacks experience.
A quick knocking, the door opens, and Gwen enters. She curtsies to Owain, while the prince turns away, in case she bears something private from Estella.
The maid lifts up a red strip of fabric, "The Lady Morgana asked me to give you this token."
Arthur whips around. Really it shouldn't bother him. Morgana is a Lady of court, she is allowed to give tokens to knight at tournaments and duals, in fact, it is almost expected, but she never…and he thought that Estella... He shakes his head dismissing whatever the token meant and missing that Gwen said it was for luck. The prince can't help the slight envy that creeps up. "She's never given me any tokens."
...
There is somberness and fear tainting the atmosphere as Owain and Arthur enter the tournament grounds. Time seems to drag on as the rules are set and the fighters take their stances. When the prince declares for battle to commence, time speeds up.
Morgana takes Estella's hand and grips it comfortingly. The Black Knight strikes first, landing many quick, heavy blows to Owain's shield. The young knight is barely able to keep up his defense. It seems only by luck that Owain is able to stab the other knight in the gut, but the attack is futile.
When the young knight realizes this, it is too late. The Black Knight strikes him down and with a twist of his sword, he kills Owain. The crowd gasps in horror. The cold wind seems colder now.
The knight faces the crowd and calls for another challenger. Arthur tries to bolt over the barrier of the stands, but his father grabs him. Sir Pellinore jumps over the stands and takes up the gauntlet and in turn the challenge.
Sir Pellinore fares better than Owain during his fight but his upper hand in the dual is short lived. A blatant stab in chest does not fell the Black Knight.
Instead, he takes advantage of tiring Pellinore and runs him through. Arthur can't take this any longer. He stands and throws his gauntlet down.
"I, Arthur Pendragon, challenge you." The prince declares.
"So be it." Tristan answers.
"Single combat, noon, tomorrow"
And with these words sinking in, the cold, winter air penetrates Morgana's veins, freezing her blood and clenching her heart. She suddenly finds it difficult to breathe.
Uther stands in the council chambers when the chill suddenly increases and the candles are extinguished. The king turns and a woman he had not seen for over twenty years is before him. "I should've known."
The woman in red smiles at him, "It is more than I'd hoped for, Uther; soon Arthur will be slain. You will have sent him to his death."
"Haven't you tired of revenge?" the man asks.
"Haven't you?" Nimueh counters. "You began this war when you threw me from the court and slaughtered those of my kind."
"You brought it on yourselves. You practice evil," The king states.
The Priestess narrows her eyes and if one looked closely hurt is evident in those deep blue depths. "I was your friend, Uther! You welcomed me and magic here." But it was all for Ygraine, the woman that Uther loved more than power, the woman who accepted magic because of her friendship with Vivienne and Valeria and her kind heart.
He is unmoved. "You betrayed that friendship."
"I did as you asked! I used the magic you so despise to give your barren wife the son you craved." The words are bitter on her tongue, not only because they are an insult, but because of the untruth in that disgraceful word.
Uther looks at the witch directly. "Don't ever speak of her in that way. She was my heart, my soul-"
"And who was it that gave her to you," She questions, "When from birth she was promised to your best friend, who was it that had their betrothal broken in order for you have her?"
The king shakes his head, the gratitude for what the witch had done for him in the past long gone. "You took her from me."
"She died giving birth to your son. It was not my choice. That is the law of magic. To create a life, there had to be a death. The balance of the world had to be repaid."
"You knew it would kill her," he accuses.
"No, you're wrong." And that is a lie, for he speaks the truth. "If I had foreseen her death and the terrible retribution you would seek... I would never have granted your wish," again, a lie.
Uther hangs his head, "I wish you hadn't."
"You wish you didn't have a son?" Her surprise melts into smugness. "Well, your wish will come true tomorrow."
Raising his head, "I will not let you take him."
Nimueh's eyes are sharp and piercing, she knows what he will attempt and she expects and wants this. "I have watched so many people I love die at your hands, Uther Pendragon." He looks away, guilt piercing his heart. "Now it is your turn."
And when Uther turns around, the Priestess is gone.
Arthur stands at his window alone as he stares out at the Black Knight. In the moonlight, one can see the doubts that he hides inside. He feels her before he hears her and he turns to the door. Morgana is watching him and for once her fear is showing completely. "I don't want you to fight tomorrow." She says firmly.
The prince stares at the ward, surprised by her conviction, "Why not?" he asks.
She feels some kind of premonition "I don't know what it is… Please – I'm warning you.
Despite the situation, he smiles, "You're worried about me."
"No," she shakes her head. "It's not me. It's your father. Can't you see what you're doing to him?"
Doubtfully, he restates, "My father?"
"Obviously, he cares about you." Betraying her own emotions, she inadvertly tells Arthur what she would not say aloud. "He loves you, Arthur. He doesn't want to lose you."
And Arthur recognizes exactly what she is saying, "And I feel the same." Her heart skips a beat. "But…I have to do this."
"Arthur, please, I'm begging you," If this is to be his last night, then she needs for him to know that she cares, even if their (unspoken) first rule is to deny it.
At the sight of her quivering form, he almost breaks down and gives in, but this is not about her or them, it is him and his honor alone. And this is the one thing he won't do for her, back down from a fight. "I have to, it's my duty."
For a long moment, they hold each other's stare. Tears are forming in Morgana's sea green eyes and Arthur doesn't even restrain himself from allowing his sky eyes to glaze over. Finally, she tells him, "I understand."
Slowly she turns and goes and Arthur doesn't stop her, he simply bows his head and sighs despairingly. He always claimed to be the courageous knight, fearing no fight or foe and yet this woman is able to make him feel like a coward.
Estella walks swiftly and silently through the halls and out of the castle. She knows of her uncle and Gaius' plans for tomorrow, but this is exactly what Nimueh wants and she cannot allow that. In spite of her usual behavior, she knows that this is one of those times in which meddling is required. Tomorrow, it will not be Uther facing the Black Knight, it will be Arthur.
She stops short, realizing that she had unconsciously walked into the training grounds and there, only a few meters from her, stands the Black Knight, her father-No! He is not her father she tells herself. He is a wraith, a monster created from her father's corpse. A creature with the sole purpose of killing her uncle, ironically the only father figure she's ever known.
Tristan died a few mere months before Estella turned two and since then, Estella has traveled with her mother from one place to another. When Vivienne 'died' Gorlois had called Valeria and Estella to Cornwall. Even though the Duke was a kind and loving man, he was never a father to Estella. He tried, but with his own daughter motherless, he needed to offer his own young child as much love he could give her and Estella could not begrudge Morgana or Gorlois for that. Agravaine was a strict and cold man; he cared more for power than he ever would for his niece and the feeling was mutual for her. And then there is Uther, the only relative in her life that acted as a father. Despite him being a king, he somehow made time for Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, and even Estella.
The duchess' mind goes back to her biological father, whom she cannot recall any vivid memories. She never asked her mother what Tristan was like. He died for his sister, at his brother-in-law's hand, and that must count for something. As she stares at his- the wraith's motionless form, her curiosity ebbs at her. But this not the time for this, shaking her head roughly, she continues on towards her destination.
A few hours before sunrise, the Duchess of Caerleon creeps through the castle on her way to Arthur's chambers. When she arrives, she finds her cousin snoring and fast asleep, but when checking his mind, she finds that it is clouded, which means that he is drugged and therefore Gaius has beaten her.
"Dammit," she hisses. Her mother is going to kill her for this, but she had to finish what she started. Her moonlight eyes glow amber and with a quick spell, she chases the draught out of his system, ensuring that he will awake on time for the dual tomorrow.
As quietly as she entered, she departs.
Morgana sits at her dressing table. She hasn't slept and she looks ill. Gwen is concerned and is about to force her mistress to eat, when the door opens and the king's niece enters. She dismisses the maid and turns to her cousin.
"Morgana," the younger woman doesn't respond. "Cousin, everything will alright."
The king's ward sharply turns. "How can you be sure? Owain, Pellinore, what if-?"
"That will not happen, because he will have something they didn't have." She looks up at the elder woman and a vision of a blade crosses her mind, like a recovered memory long forgotten. Then, Estella pulls out from her midnight blue cloak the sword Morgana saw the moment before. "This blade will ensure Arthur's victory."
Merlin helps Arthur with his armor. He can tell that his master is tense despite his confident and at ease words. Looking over the prince's shoulder, the warlock sees the Lady Morgana. With the tilt of her head, she indicates that he should leave and he does so.
But not before one last glance at the noblewoman, Estella's threat still rings in his ears, "I know you will protect Arthur, but if anything happens to Morgana I swear that I will haunt you for the rest of this life and all the ones after until you pay for your sins."
When the servant shuts the door, Morgana finishes his work, adjusting the prince's armor. Being close to him, supporting him without words, that is always how it's been.
Their minds do not think about the dual that is to commence this day. Instead, they are thinking about them. They bicker and fight incessantly, one would assume that that is what comes from being raised almost as 'siblings.' But there is something else between them, something unspoken and rarely shown that always draws them together. And they wonder if they'd ever be together like this again.
When she met Arthur's eyes, she knows he is thinking the same. But he will not say it and she will not either.
Removing her hands, they go to her belt, where she hung the sword Estella told her is meant for Arthur.
The prince's eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the fine blade Morgana holds out to him. Shaking his head, "What are you…?"
"Take it," she says.
He tries to protest, "But-"
"Arthur, this sword is meant for you to wield in this dual. Now take it."
Hesitantly, Arthur does so and right when his fingers curl on the handle a tingling runs up his arm and through his body causing him to gasp. He looks at Morgana again, "Thanks."
She nods and once again, they hold each other's gazes. Arthur doesn't know what it is: The sword in his hand, the ticking clock, but something gives him the courage he didn't have the night before. Ever so slowly, he leans his head down toward Morgana and as if by instinct, she tilts her head to him.
Unfortunately, Merlin then decides to burst back into the room and announce that it is time for the fight. The servant swears that Arthur's glare actually cuts him.
The clash of swords rings through the air as Arthur fights the Black Knight. Morgana sits with Gwen, a hollow feeling in her chest. Estella, who had been distracting Uther, stands with her uncle on the sidelines as the king watches the dual with fear.
Though the other knight seems stronger, Arthur is quicker. He evades every attack and gets in many strikes of his own. The fight seems to go on forever and the prince appears to be tiring.
'ARTHUR!' Morgana screams in her head and from the look in his eyes, it almost seems as though he hears her in his own mind. With the last of his strength, the prince stabs his sword into the Black Knight's chest, disfiguring the crest.
The crowds then begin to cheer, the wraith has fallen.
Vivienne and Valeria walk side-by-side towards the Lake of Avalon. The both of them are silent; there is nothing that they need to discuss at present. Though, they are both glad that Estella has finally learned to simply act, instead of waiting for others.
Loosening Excalibur (which Arthur had returned to Morgana and Morgana to Estella and Estella to Valeria) from her belt, the younger Le Fay twin gives it to her sister. Vivienne holds up the blade and tosses the sword into the lake. There it will remain, until the King rises.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading and please review. If there's anything that you'd like to see in future chapters, let me know, I'll try to put it in.