Chapter 66: The Sting of Careless Things

"Riku?" Namine asked, slowly opening the door. "You alright?"

"I feel like I need to punch something," was his response.

Namine frowned. Riku was sitting on the bed, eyes fixed firmly on the ground in front of him. His entire body was tense, and his hands were tightly clenched into fists. He was in Dark Mode.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I suppose I shouldn't have let the conversation carry that far-"

"Don't apologize," Riku said firmly. "I'm not mad at you."

Namine couldn't help but smile at that. She walked over and sat down next to him.

"I'm really proud of you, you know," she told him. "I was almost certain that you were at least going to yell at Yuffie, if not actually hurt her. I- I'm glad you didn't."

"I wanted to," he muttered.

"But you didn't, and that's what really matters," she reminded him.

"Is it?" he asked quietly. "I still feel angry, and not just at her, but at myself, too." He swallowed, and wrung his hands nervously. "I don't like the fact that I do this. I don't like the fact that every time someone says something that ticks me off I just lose it and have my blade at their throat in the next five seconds. It bothers me…"

She turned to him, slightly shocked. It wasn't often she heard him say things like this.

"I wish I could help," she sighed. "But I can't…"

"That's alright," he assured her. "I just- I wish I knew why it bothers me so much. It's never bothered me before."

"Maybe… it's because only Larxene Replicas have been stupid enough to say that word," Namine suggested, laughing slightly. "And it's not like you really care what happens to them."

"But back there…" Riku whispered. "When I was fighting to keep my anger in check so I wouldn't hurt Yuffie- I-" His voice got even quieter. "I felt like a monster…"

Namine gasped slightly, taken aback. Riku turned away. Namine swallowed, and then reached over and pulled him closer.

"You are not a monster," she told him firmly. "Monsters go around hurting people just for the fun of it. You're only protecting the things you care about."

"Protecting… the things I care about…" he repeated slowly, and a smile spread across his face. He maneuvered himself so he could wrap an arm around her and pulled her closer, so her head was resting against his chest. She let out a small gasp of surprise, but soon relaxed.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," she laughed, though she had no idea why he was thanking her in the first place.

They sat there for a moment more, saying nothing. Riku let out a long content sigh and flickered out of Dark Mode, completely at ease. Namine, however, was having trouble keeping her thoughts from getting frantic. She was close enough to Riku to hear his heart beat, and to feel him breathe, and it was wonderful, but—

She could not get her mind to calm down enough to simply enjoy this moment. Her mind insisted on wandering back to what she and Cid had been talking about earlier, and insisted on dwelling on it. Since she didn't seem to have much choice in the matter, she let it.

"Together?" Cid had asked.

"No," she had replied. "That's not the right word…"

"Then what is?"

He has a good point, Namine told herself. What IS the right word?

Are me and Riku… really together?

I assumed that Aerith and Cloud were together simply because he was protective of her, like Riku is to me. So… that would mean… I think that Riku and I are together…

Right?

That's logical…

I've just… I've just never thought about it…

So she let herself think about it. She thought about all those looks that the Vexen and Marluxia Replicas and even Alpha would often give them when they were together. Some rolled their eyes. Some pointedly looked away. Others even looked slightly disgusted.

Vexen would typically watch them with interest, always scribbling away in his notebook. Alpha was among the eye-rollers. 19 was different from everyone else. He would often look at them, understanding in his eyes, and then laugh, shake his head, and turn away.

Then there was Joseph.

All the teasing, all the looks he would throw them. Sometimes he would be disgusted. Other times he would laugh.

THEY all must think that there's SOMETHING between me and him, at least… Namine concluded. Does Riku think that there's something there, though?

And do I?

I'm sure that's what really matters…

She stopped her thoughts for a second and did her best to focus on this moment again. Riku hadn't moved an inch. She could still hear his heart beat, slow and steady, could still feel his breath, calm and even. She tried to relax, for some odd reason wanting her breath to fall into sync with his.

Maybe… there is something there… she thought slowly.

Her heart started racing at just the thought of it.

All those times… when we're together… even just recently, when-

When I was bandaging his scythe wound, we-

She pulled her thoughts to a quick stop, realizing something else. That, and she didn't want to quite finish that thought. She pulled away from Riku, though something in her desperately didn't want to. He glanced down at her, confused, and worried.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "No, nothing's wrong," she assured him.

"You seem troubled…" he muttered. "That's all."

"If I am," she replied. "It's because of that."

Riku glanced down at his arm, where her gaze was currently fixed. He laughed slightly. His bandages were covered in blood. He glanced up at Namine, a grin playing on his lips.

"I'm surprised you just now noticed," he laughed.

She frowned. "Shut up," she said. "I told you to be careful with that arm!"

"You didn't tell me anything," Riku replied simply.

Namine opened her mouth to argue, and then paused. She hadn't actually told him to. Her frown deepened. "Well I should have," she muttered, and then rose to her feet. "I'm going to go ask Aerith if she has any bandages. I need to re-bandage this…"

She stopped a second, and then sat back down next to him and started carefully unwrapping the bandages from his arm. Once she was finished she took the dirty bandages and stood up again. "Let that air out," she told him.

Riku nodded.

"Be right back," Namine laughed, heading out the door.

xxx

Unsure of where exactly she was going to find Aerith, Namine just headed downstairs. There was a pair of muffled voices coming from down there, one of them sounded like Aerith's. The other she couldn't quite place, but she thought it was Cloud.

"Aerith?" she called, as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She started to say more, but stopped and quickly swallowed that, as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Aerith stood at the sink with a dishtowel in her hand, and was frowning in Cloud's direction. The sink was still half full of dishes, which Aerith was probably still trying to wash. Cloud stood close to the door, glancing in Aerith's direction, but not meeting her gaze. The air was tense.

"I am so sorry!" Namine gasped. "I didn't realize I was interrupting…"

"It's alright," Cloud assured her. "I should be leaving, anyway."

And before either Namine or Aerith could respond, he was out the door. Aerith made a face. "Cloud!" she called, but he was probably too far to hear her. She sighed. "I… hang on, Namine," she said. "Sorry."

She hurried out the door after Cloud.

Namine stood there, very confused, and unsure what to do. After a moment, though, she located the trashcan and disposed of the dirty bandages. Then, she went and sat down on one of the couches and waited patiently for Aerith to return.

Well… she did a little more than wait patiently.

As much as she didn't want to eavesdrop, Aerith hadn't shut the door properly, and they were yelling…

"Cloud, please, you have to stop running!" she heard Aerith shout, exasperated.

"I'm not running from anything!" was Cloud's reply, equally exasperated, filled with a bitter laughter.

"Then why won't you stay?"

"I just- I've been here long enough."

"Cloud…."

There was such disappointment in Aerith's voice that it made Namine's heart feel heavy. She fiddled with her fingers, thinking maybe she should just head back upstairs and come back down in a few minutes? Or she could ask Leon, he'd probably knew where any bandages were…

There was a rumble of an engine outside. That was right, Riku'd mentioned noticing a motorcycle out there. It must have been Cloud's.

Namine hesitated. If Cloud was actually leaving, then she could wait a second longer.

But then, all of a sudden:

"Zack doesn't blame you!"

Aerith's voice was desperate, breaking.

"Yeah?" came Cloud's response, sharp and bitter. "You ever stop and think he doesn't blame you, either?"

"I—" Aerith seemed at a loss for words.

Namine stood up. She should go, she should definitely go…

But… She was, unfortunately, very curious.

Cloud continued, with a hot anger: "If he doesn't blame me for being too damn weak to stop it, then he sure as hell doesn't blame you for not getting there fast enough!"

"Cloud."

"So why don't you stop being such a hypocrite and take your own damn advice for once, Aerith! I don't see how you're allowed to grieve for five years and that's fine but the moment I try—"

He broke off there.

Everything was deathly silent for the moment, except the rumble of Cloud's bike.

Namine hardly dared to breathe.

"Sorry," Cloud said, voice tight. "Sorry."

The engine roared a little louder. Tires screeched across the ground. And then—nothing. Cloud must have left. Namine wasn't sure how, but… Gummi Ships existed to take people between worlds. Maybe somehow Cloud's bike could, too.

After a few seconds, Aerith came back inside, closing the door behind her. Namine peered nervously at her.

"Uhm… Is everything okay…?" she began.

Aerith only looked at her a moment, a hand through her hair. Her fingers stopped short at the bow she wore, fiddling with it for a few moments. She looked exhausted, a little distant. "Yeah, it's… fine. It's fine," she answered, vaguely. She stood very still for a moment, then dropped her hand to her side, eyes snapping back to Namine. "Anyway, Namine, what was it you needed?"

"Just, um, bandages, really," Namine said. The sooner she was out of Aerith's way, the better. She knew nothing was really fine, but understood if Aerith didn't want to talk about it. "Riku, um…"

"Is he hurt?" Aerith asked, a sudden urgency in her voice.

"Oh, no! I mean. He was before we got here…"

"Oh…" Realization passed Aerith's face. "His arm." She nodded to herself, eyes narrowing a little bit. "I didn't ask about it earlier, because I assumed if it was bandaged, he was probably fine, but…"

She didn't seem to intend to finish, so Namine coughed.

"I mean… It's still bleeding… I don't know if it tore open again while he was fighting, or…"

Aerith grimaced. She took a deep breath. "Okay," she said, and there was a forced aspect to her voice, eyes tight and lips pursed in a thin smile. "Well… Bandages are in that closet there, third shelf," she gestured at a door by the stairs. "But also… I'm a healer, so why don't I just heal him?"

"Oh! No, it's fine really, I can bandage him up again no big deal," Namine said quickly, not wanting to impose when Aerith clearly feeling too hot. She wasn't sure she understood anything Cloud said, but she'd have to be blind to miss how much it seemed to affect Aerith.

"Nonsense!" Aerith assured her. "There's no reason for me not to."

"But—" Namine began, except Aerith was already moving up the stairs. Clearly, she wouldn't be budged.

There was nothing to do but go along with it, so, Namine did.