CHAPTER 15
There's No Place Like Home

"Yeah, Arthur." Agatha told her into the phone, and the information instantly made Morgan's eyes large. How could she have not noticed it before? "Morgan, I don't think you could have ever-"

"Never mind, it's fine." Morgan cut her off, swallowing and closing her eyes. "It's okay, I must have confused him with someone. Sorry."

"But-"

"Enjoy your holiday!" Morgan ended the call and threw her phone on the bed behind her, following it by falling into her bed and opening her eyes, staring up at the ceiling.

There was something in her head, hidden deep inside, and it was just outside her reach. She knew what she had to do in order to unlock that secret door and remember. She only had to try and think about it. It was so close! So she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the memories take her.

Merlin and Arthur. Her friends.

"Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing!"

"I am so sorry for everything you've been through."

No, they were her enemies...

"I'm going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon."

"You don't know what it's like to be an outsider! To be ashamed of how you were born, to have to hide who you are!"

Morgan took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. They were filled with anger and a vase on her table shattered as they flashed gold.

"Sometimes you've got to do what's right and damn the consequences."

She could see and hear and feel everything just like she used to all those year ago. She remembered her past life, a life full of magic and fights and castles. And mortal enemies.

Yet again, she felt the hatred for her father and for Arthur and Merlin, whom she'd underestimated in the past and that was her doom. She never thought Merlin could be that strong. Was he still that strong? She needed her revenge, he killed her!

Agatha was away, so that meant Merlin wasn't at home. Morgan paused as she sat up and looked out of the window. If Merlin wasn't in his house, perhaps she could break in and find out something about him. He must have known who he was in his past life. He didn't seem particularly friendly in this century and neither did Arthur. At least to her.

With Agatha they were always good friends, but when she was around? They always stopped smiling and proceeded with caution. She noticed that.

So she got up from the bed and took her coat, scarf and a gloves (she couldn't leave fingerprints, right?) and she stormed out of her door, running down the stairs to reach her car and Merlin's house as soon as she could. She couldn't know how long were they supposed to be at the sea, could she? And Bristol was only about two hours away.

Her car was parked on the street right under her window. She got in and started the engine, heading straight to the lake and not caring about anything and anyone. She needed to find out how powerful Merlin truly was, and if she couldn't find that out, at least she might discover some of his weaknesses in this life.

And even if he didn't remember her... she would take her revenge.

When she found herself outside his garden, she hesitated. Morgan McFly wasn't a bad person. She's never done anything against the law, but she was naturally... manipulative. She liked things being her way and she was very stubborn, and sometimes could seem mean.

Morgana Pendragon on the other hand... she was the last High Priestess of the old religion. A religion that was slowly coming back, and she was slowly regaining its powers again. She killed her own father, tried to kill her friends, and in doing so mercilessly killed hundreds of other people, only so that she could get her throne. Which she never did.

Until now, Morgan belonged to the first group of people with magic in this century. She never told anyone and used it only for herself. But now she's encountered a choice...

Break into Merlin's house, find out the much needed weaknesses of her mortal enemy and then avenge her own death... and in doing so, move to the second group of people with magic. The ones who used magic to break the law.

Morgan McFly cared about this. Morgana Pendragon didn't.

But Morgan knew that if she had magic, remembered her past life and drove all the way from the town to the lake...

That Morgana Pendragon had already won.

So she stopped clutching the steering wheel and finally opened her door, getting out and looking at the ridiculously walled garden. What did he have to hide? Did he really need to be this secretive?

She locked her car and walked over to the gate. She didn't even hesitate anymore as her eyes flashed gold and she opened the door.

"Tospringe."

The gate unlocked and she walked inside with a triumphant smirk on her face. She's seen this garden before, when she stood just outside of it, talking to Agatha and Merlin was there too. She was in a hurry then though. And now? She was kind of in a hurry too, but she had magic now. She could do everything she needed in time.

She marched to the front door and unlocked it with the same spell. When it opened, she smirked again. Merlin didn't pay much attention to security, she was surprised he didn't. With past life like his? He must have known she was his enemy.

To her left, there was a door. The first room she would officially search through, hopefully finding something useful. She positioned her hand above the doorknob and whispered, "tospringe."

The sound it usually made when it unlocked was missing though, and a strange white shield flashed around the door and then disappeared again. Morgan frowned and tried opening the door, but it was still locked.

"He isn't such an idiot after all," she mumbled as she tried another spell, something more powerful. "Ic ia tóspringe," she said out loud, and this time nothing happened. No sound, and no shield.

Morgan tried the door again, but it was still locked.

What the hell? She was High Priestess of Old Religion! Her magic was very strong, maybe not comparable to Merlin's (although she wasn't sure just how powerful he was), but she could definitely kill him if she had a plan.

Why didn't the spell work then? It wasn't that powerful spell, just a little bit stronger than tospringe.

Unless... Morgan's eyes widened. She turned away from the door and walked into the living room, looking around and trying to find something she could work with – she found a sofa. Then she reached out her hand and said, "astrice!"

The sofa didn't move an inch, and Morgana looked down at her palm with horror all over her face.

Her magic wasn't strong enough. She wasn't strong enough. This body was born again, in a world without magic and although it had memories of the world with magic, it just didn't have the power to use them.

She screamed in anger and turned around again. When she first discovered she had magic back in Camelot, her magic was very weak. Morgause told her that too, and that was why she had to help Morgana train and use her magic every day.

Morgause!

She was the only one with better knowledge of magic. Her teacher and friend, her sister. Morgan needed her now more than ever, and if Merlin and Arthur and she were all alive again... maybe Moraguse was here too!

A little smile appeared on her face as she thought about seeing her dear sister again. Even though she probably had a little different name these days. Morgana Pendragon or as the books said le Fay, was now Morgan McFly. Perhaps Morgause stayed Morgause too? Nevertheless, she needed to find her, train and perfectionate her magic and then return and kill both Merlin and Arthur.

She would probably leave out Agatha, but Merlin and Arthur had to die.

For that though, she needed to know their weaknesses.

When she looked around the living room again, there wasn't much to see. A door leading to the garden, a tv set, sofa and a table with chairs around in the corner of the room, books on shelves and... paintings of Gwen, Gaius, and the knights of Camelot on the shelves around the living room. The only thing that was missing to make the room almost perfect was a good old fireplace.

So she headed up the stairs and found a bathroom and two rooms. One of them was ordinary – with clothes, a desk and a few books, not much around. It was probably Arthur's, judging by the painting of Merlin that was on the bedside table. The other room though was filled with books and old drawings on the table, a laptop, (another painting of the garden with Arthur in it), and... another door.

Morgana tried the laptop first. But it was protected by both password and a spell. Cursing, she turned to the door and tried opening them instead. With no luck. It was the same protection spell she saw on the locked door downstairs.

Why did the Ghost of the Glastonbury lake have to be so secretive and annoying? What did he know that she didn't?

And then it hit her. The Ghost of the Glastonbury lake they called him. Why? Because he's been around since anyone could even remember and he never left the lake.

Which meant Morgana really knew only one thing about Merlin: he didn't have a past life like she did. He lived through all those years without Arthur, alone and waiting for him to return. Which meant another thing: his magic was even stronger than when she last met him, when he killed her.

In this century, he really was the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the Earth.

Emrys.

And she was just a small town girl with magic she couldn't properly use, driven by her hatred and pain.

She really needed to find Morgause.

xoXÖXox

They noticed what was wrong the moment they arrived at Merlin's house and Agatha parked the car in front of it. The gate was open and that meant only one thing – Morgana had been there. Because without magic or a key, no one could open the gate, and only Merlin and Arthur had the key. They were thinking about making one for Ag as well, but they haven't yet.

So it must have been Morgana.

"We're late," Arthur said and opened the door. He was sitting next to Ag who drove the car.

"I hope she hasn't taken anything important," Merlin bit his lip and opened the door, finally getting out of the car. Agatha and Arthur followed him right away and they ran to the gate, stepping inside the garden.

There was only one thing wrong.

"Your flowerbed," Agatha breathed out as she looked at the disaster in the right corner of the garden. Instead of all those beautifully colourful flowers, there was only mud now and dirt and all the flowers were ripped out.

Merlin's eyes saddened as he saw it. "It's... it's just a flowerbed," he sighed. "Let's check if she hasn't destroyed anything more important."

Arthur nodded and started walking forward with Merlin and Agatha in tow right behind him. They went inside through the front door and the first thing that Merlin did was try to open the secret door to his left.

Luckily, it was still closed – she couldn't get inside.

"Is it still locked?" Arthur asked and Merlin nodded.

"Yeah, I almost forgot I put a protection spell over it about a uh... " he frowned. "Two hundred years ago? Well, glad that still works," he smirked a little in satisfaction.

"Did you put the same spell over the room in your room?" Agatha asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I couldn't risk anyone getting inside." He shrugged. "It could only be open with the key that I hid in the hollow book and only if I was in the room too. I kind of invented the spell myself." He smiled.

"Clever," Arthur smirked and his smirk got bigger when Merlin looked at him and smiled. They locked eyes for a few seconds, and as soon as Agatha realized they weren't paying attention to her or their surroundings, she rolled her eyes.

"Guys, let's check the rest of the house," She said as she smiled and turned away from them to walk into the living room.

As soon as she was turned around, Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand and leaned closer to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "Is it strange that I feel proud?" He told him and smiled when he saw Merlin's faint blush over his cheeks.

"A little," he chuckled.

"Well," Arthur shrugged and looked into Merlin's eyes again. "I've always been proud of you. I just never told you that."

Merlin's mouth opened and rather than waiting for any response, Arthur smiled and turned around to join Agatha in the living room.

"I don't think anything's missing from here," Agatha said when she heard Arthur and Merlin finally entering the living room. "Books, table, couch and the pictures are all still here."

"Were there any of your diaries in here?" Arthur asked Merlin, tensing when he even thought about Morgana reading them.

To his easement though, Merlin shook his head. "No, I made sure they were all locked up in my room when we left."

"Let's check your room then," Ag turned around and looked up at him. "And let's hope nothing's missing from there."

They went up the stairs and checked Arthur's room and then Merlin's room. Nothing was missing though and everything was at its right place. Even Merlin's old drawings were on the table next to his laptop and all the books were in the right order on the shelves.

"Maybe she just didn't have the guts to do it," Agatha suggested as she was looking around and thinking about her friend. She didn't want Morgan to turn evil.

"The Morgana I know is capable of anything," Arthur told her.

"But the Morgan I know, would not do such a thing." Ag argued, taking a deep breath and touching Merlin's desk to support herself.

"I guess that means..." Merlin approached her, "that Morgan isn't the Morgan you know. Not anymore."

Ag looked up at him with little tears in eyes as she nodded and looked down again. She knew it was true. The Morgan McFly she knew would never be capable of breaking into someone else's house. She didn't steal anything, but she had magic and she didn't tell her about that, and she broke into Merlin's house and destroyed the flowerbed.

She has always seemed a little on edge, but Ag never thought she'd do this.

"She seems to be a little bit of both," Arthur said. "She's like Morgan and Morgana. Determined to have her revenge, but something is holding her back."

"Perhaps I should head back and look for her," Agatha straightened up all of a sudden and left the room. She paused when she sensed Merlin and Arthur walked out of the door and looked at her as she stood by the stairs. She turned around at them and shrugged. "I'll... I'll try to find out whether she's at home and if she isn't... well, we'll have our answer, won't we?"

"Should we go with you?" Merlin offered her, but she was already shaking her head.

She swallowed and smiled. "Thanks guys, really thanks. But... I need to do this alone."

"Alright," Merlin nodded and Arthur did too.

"Be careful though," The king added and after Agatha nodded, she went down the stairs and left the house.

Merlin looked down and returned to his room, looking up at his painting of the garden and Arthur on one of the empty shelves next to his wardrobe.

"Will she be alright?" Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin shrugged and sighed. "Morgana was her only friend." Merlin said, not really looking anywhere. "But if she really turned evil... I think in time, Ag will be alright."

"I hope so too." Arthur nodded.

After a moment o silence, he sighed. "Well, since Agatha is gone now and we're here alone... what do you want to do?" He asked with a smirk.

Merlin smirked as well and turned to him. "Wasn't it always you who gave the orders and not the other way around?"

"I can order you to-"

"Nope, I've had something in mind actually," Merlin stopped him and took his hand. He looked up into his eyes and smiled. "I couldn't show you when I didn't have my memories, but since I have them now... let's go home."

xoXÖXox

Two hours later, Merlin and Arthur were slowly walking through the forest, getting farther and farther away from Glastonbury and the lake. Merlin refused to tell Arthur where they were going, even though Arthur had an inkling... but he didn't want to cling to false hope.

The most important thing was that they were both still alive and together after all.

Merlin put another strong protection spell over the front door, the wall surrounding the garden and the gate itself. When they left the house, Ag's car was already gone, so she must have been in Glastonbury right now, probably not really enjoying her holiday the boss has given her.

But at least the weather was nice. It was still around 23 degrees(*) (very rare for late October, but very pleasant) and although the trees were not as green as they used to be, at least most of the leaves were still attached to the branches as Merlin and Arthur were walking around them.

"Will you finally tell me where are we going?" Arthur asked his former servant, who just rolled his eyes.

"For the last time, Arthur, it's a surprise!" Merlin told him. "Honestly, one would think you'd be a little bit more patient when you were supposed to be a king, but apparently that's wrong."

"Come on, Merlin." Arthur laughed and stepped closer to him, taking his hand and entwining their fingers when Merlin didn't turn away. "If this isn't a hunting trip and we're not on some mission, what is this then?"

"This is me, paying my debt." Merlin told him as they continued walking lazily through the fallen leaves of different colours on the ground. Before Arthur could answer, Merlin added, "I remember everything and I can finally tell you everything, that's what I wanted to tell you."

Arthur was silent for a while. Then he asked, "am I finally about to find out about that bloody dragon?"

"Yeah," the warlock laughed. Then his smile disappeared and he cleared his throat, hesitating a little bit. "I'm... sorry I never told you so many things," he started, but Arthur's hand on his forearm stopped him.

"You already apologized for that." He told him. "And even though it's been more than a thousand years for you, it's only been a month for me. You don't have to apologize again."

"But I want to," Merlin said. "I just feel like I need to apologize again..."

"Then your apology is accepted." Arthur smiled. "Again." And before Merlin could start protesting as usual, Arthur cut him off with a question. "So start in the beginning. And the dragon."

Merlin smiled at that. "That dragon actually is at the very beginning of my story."

They continued walking for nearly two hours and Merlin told Arthur about how he met Kilgharrah, how he talked to him and how he disliked the dragon in the beginning. Arthur didn't really believe dragons could talk at first, but Merlin just laughed it off and told him he was a bit surprised when Kilgharrah called his name in the night, but then he said it would be weird if the dragon couldn't even talk and was just staring at him in the cave.

He told him about what really happened Morgana and apologized numerous times for lying and for not telling him about some things. Like about Morgana's magic or that he released the dragon from his prison under the castle.

"You're lucky that I managed to stop that dragon," Arthur said as they reached a little meadow and continued walking across it. "Althouth, I'm not sure how I feel about killing him now when I know he helped you and me so many times before."

"You didn't actually kill him." Merlin bit his lip and really tried to continue walking when Arthur stopped, but he turned to look at him anyway. Arthur was just standing there and looking at him like a very confused donkey.

"What?"

"You didn't kill him." Merlin shrugged. "I saved the day while you got knocked out, as usual."

"Wait, what do you mean I didn't kill him?" Arthur narrowed his eyes and walked closer to Merlin, still frowning.

"Remember how we went to search for the last Dragonlord?" Merlin asked, all the old pain suddenly coming back to the surface. It's been centuries since he last saw his father. He saw him a few times in the crystal cave, long after Arthur had died. But in the end, even the crystal cave got lost and destroyed and he had to flee.

He didn't know if he could ever see his father again, but he really doubted it. Balinor was dead, just like Arthur had been.

And now Arthur is back and they're finally together and he shouldn't really think about things like that, but Arthur asked him and he had the right to know...

"Yeah, you were acting very weird all day." Arthur said, slowly starting walking again towards Merlin, who joined him as they crossed the meadow and entered the forest again.

"Well, there was a good reason for it." Merlin said. He's been practicing saying these words for over a millennium and yet when the time came, he still found himself hesitating. He really wanted to tell Arthur, but at the same time... this was a big secret - that he was a Dragonlord. It was almost just as big as him having magic, and he needed to tell Arthur, but he's never told anyone before... any of his friends at least (except for Lancelot).

"Which was?" Arthur reminded him he was still waiting for his answer and Merlin sighed, looking at the ground full of yellow and brown leaves.

"Balinor, the last Dragonlord... was my father." And instead of letting Arthur react, he continued right away. "I didn't know he was my father until Gaius told me only a few hours before we were supposed to go look for him. That was why I was so... quiet the entire trip. I knew I was about to meet my father and I didn't have enough time to come to terms with it."

"I'm sorry, Merlin." Arthur took his hand as he realized what Merlin was telling him. Balinor died only a day after Merlin had met him. That had to be awful, and Arthur didn't do much to comfort him even though he noticed his tears.

"It's okay," Merlin nodded, looking up at the trees all around them. "I'm the last Dragonlord now." He added. "I became one after my father died and I stopped Kilgharrah." He turned to Arthur who was already looking at him. "You never killed him, you only hurt him. And thank god the wound wasn't serious, he helped me a lot since then."

"So you stopped him on that clearing, in front of-"

"No one actually, you were all unconscious and some men were already dead." Merlin cut him off. "I saved Camelot again and you slept right through it."

Arthur punched him in the arm slightly as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry though." He added again. "I know what it's like to lose a father."

"I know what it's like to lose everyone." Merlin whispered, clearing his throat and choosing not to dwell on that thought. "Anyway, to continue with the story. I talked to Kilgharrah and commanded him to stop the attack. Then he flew away and could never attack Camelot again. We met many times after that and although he liked to talk in riddles, he always helped me when I needed it."

"I don't suppose he's... still alive." Arthur hesitantly asked, picking up a little branch from the ground and carrying it in his hand.

"Kilgharrah had already been more than a thousand years old when I first met him. He died a few years after your last day." Merlin answered. "There was another dragon though, and you know her."

"Her?" Arthur frowned.

"That little white one." Merlin smiled. "Remember when we searched for the dragon egg and it got destroyed by the tower falling?"

Arthur sighed when he heard the question. "I suppose it didn't get destroyed, did it?"

"Not at all," Merlin smiled. "I took care of it, taking it to Kilgharrah and helping it hatch. I named her Aithusa, and for a few years, Kilgharrah wasn't the last of his kind anymore."

"What happened to her?" Arthur asked. He remembered that dragon, it was white, small, and it looked emaciated. He knew Morgana was taking care of... Aithusa, and even though Aithusa attacked them because Morgana told her to, Arthur still felt sorry for that little baby dragon. Whatever her fate had been.

Arthur wasn't sure he would be this okay with it at the time they thought the egg was dead. If he'd found out Merlin was hiding it and protecting it this whole time... he didn't know what he'd have done. Their mission was to make sure the dragon egg didn't hatch, but if Merlin was a Dragonlord and could make sure none of the dragons could ever hurt them, he was sure it would be interesting to keep her as a pet.

After legalizing magic of course. Which was a matter for another time.

"She wandered off when nor me nor Kilgharrah were paying attention." Merlin told him. "And she met Morgana and they created a bond. Then she spent three years with her in a dark prison while she was growing up, which was her doom. She... never learned how to talk and she never grew up properly. She grew attached to Morgana and felt ashamed when I met her... it was... heartbreaking to see her like that." Merlin whispered and closed his eyes briefly, squeezing Arthur's hand.

"And then?"

"And then," Merlin sighed, "and then I had to command her to leave the battle when she was about to fight with Morgana against you. After that, I spent almost two years trying to make you come back, but after that? When Gaius died and I became the court sorcerer, I tried to summon her, just like I used to do with Kilgharrah."

When Merlin stopped, Arthur looked at him and squeezed his hand back.

"What happened?" He asked carefully.

"She came flying to me, but when I saw her... I couldn't help her anymore." He swallowed and blinked the tears in his eyes away. "She was so weak and so hurt... that she couldn't even stand the flight. The only thing I could do was to take her pain away."

"You..."

"No, I could never kill her," Merlin hurriedly explained. "I just... took her pain away with magic so she didn't have to feel it as I... sung to her. Kilgharrah was already gone, and with Aithusa... the last dragon had died."

Arthur was silent for a minute, until he asked, "do you think there are any dragon eggs left?"

Merlin's laugh sounded bitter. "I don't think so, no. And even if they were, a dragon doesn't belong into this world anymore. At least not in England, imagine what would people do if they found out."

That was something Arhtur couldn't answer. "What would they do?" He asked hesitantly, not sure whether he really wanted to hear the answer.

"Instead of physicians, there are scientists now. They would probably kill the dragon and try to do tests on it, or they'd test it while it was still alive, and I would never let them do that. But for that, I'd need to reveal my magic to the world, and I would never live in peace anymore. None of us would. Not even the dragon."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Arthur sighed. "But for our own good,... do you have any funny stories you failed to tell me about?"

Merlin laughed at that.

Of course he had a few. He told Arthur about how he'd never been to the tavern when Gaius told him he was. He confessed about being the old sorcerer when he tried to save both Gwen and Uther, and then he told Arthur something he never told anyone else, not even his diary...

"I'm... I'm Dolma." He said.

"You're a what?" Arthur frowned with his eyes wide and barely keeping it together. "You mean you're... the old sorceress that..."

"Yeah, yeah, that." Merlin started nodding and looking away from Arthur, who started laughing like never before. To be honest, he could have expected it, the old woman did seem quite familiar, but he never thought about that.

Then Merlin stopped with the funny stories and told Arthur that he actually did poison Morgana. But Morgause saved her before it was too late, and that was why she was missing for a year.

He told Arthur everything he could think of but one thing. He didn't tell him about Freya.

Merlin was sure he'd tell him someday, but not yet. He didn't want Arthur to feel guilty.

"You already know that I almost went crazy trying to search for a way to revive you somehow." Merlin continued as they crossed another meadow, now already a few miles from Merlin's house. "And after Gaius died, you know that I stopped and accepted Gwen's offer of becoming the Court Sorcerer."

"I wish I could have been there when she was giving you the title publicly." Arthur chuckled. "You were quite known, you know? The idiotic servant to the handsome prince-"

"Leave out the handsome."

After Arthur nudged Merlin in the arm, he continued, "-and I'd have loved to be there and see that idiotic servant with a mental affliction being put into a whole new position in the castle, that had to be hilarious."

"It wasn't." Merlin shook his head.

"Now I think you're lying."

"I'm really not."

"That's what a liar would say."

"Shut up, Arthur." Merlin laughed, suddenly stopping and turning to his king with a smile on his face. "Dollophead," he added just because he could and then he leaned in and stole the next insult from Arthur's lips by a kiss.

When he pulled away, his smile wasn't as bright as before. And once Arthur opened his eyes again, he noticed that too.

"What's wrong?" He asked, cupping Merlin's face and looking into his sad eyes.

"We're here," Merlin simply answered and stepped away from Arthur, turning around and looking at the large meadow around them. Arthur followed his example and looked around, not really seeing anything interesting.

It was a huge meadow, surrounded by an old forest and other meadows and hills in the distance. He could see them because this meadow was slightly higher than them, and even though he's never been there before, there was this strange unsettling feeling in his chest.

"Where are we?" He asked, frowning and still looking around. There was a stream running along one of the forests and Arthur looked at it, tilting his head. Something was wrong about this place. If he could just figure out what it was-

"Welcome home." Merlin said and Arthur turned back to him, his frown even deeper. He noticed Merlin's eyes were filled with hot tears, and he wanted nothing more than to go and make him smile and forget the tears. But Merlin seemed apologetic again and Arthur wanted answers.

"What do you mean, welcome home?" He asked carefully.

Merlin shrugged weakly and stepped closer to him, looking down at the ground. "I failed to protect you and I failed to protect our home." Merlin told him, still looking at something on the ground. Arthur started walking closer to him, listening to what Merlin was saying and yet not really wanting to know what he was saying at all. "This... this is Camelot." Merlin looked up at him.

And Arthur wished this was something else, a joke or a bad dream, but not reality.

"What?"

"Currently, we're standing on the old courtyard." Merlin whispered, the words almost being carried away by the wind. "This place... is where we first met, and look at it now," he continued, looking down at something on the ground again and kneeling down to touch it. "This is the only thing that's left of the great castle of legends."

Arthur knelt down next to Merlin and looked at the thing Merlin was touching. And of course it was a stone. It was a huge white stone, perhaps from one of the walls or pillars, buried under the ground so only the top of it could be seen. If you didn't know what you were looking for... you might not even find it.

"I was devastated when I heard the news," Merlin said, the tears silently streaming down his cheeks. "But there was nothing I could do to change the past... I'm sorry."

Arthur couldn't talk. For a few seconds, he almost thought he couldn't even breathe. Breathing was so much harder when you saw everything you once recognized as home, buried under the ground, so close and yet so far away, lost in the past. When he first heard about Camelot being gone, he was sad. But actually seeing it? It ripped his heart apart.

And he knew it wasn't Merlin's fault, of course it wasn't. But Arthur didn't have the strength to tell him that at the moment. All he managed to do was cover Merlin's hand on the stone with his own, and when Merlin looked up at him, grabbing his shoulder and slowly pulling him in for a hug.

Merlin cried into his shoulder and Arthur kept his eyes closed, burying his head into Merlin's neck and holding him as tight as he could.

All he had left now were memories of the magnificent castle and the people who lived in it. The people he left behind, never to meet again.

xoXÖXox

Agatha was becoming rather impatient. She's been standing in front of Morgan's front door for half an hour, and that was only because one of her neighbors kindly let her in. Morgan wasn't picking up her phone, nor did she answer any of the text messages that Ag sent her.

She knocked on the door for the tenth time, getting no answer. So she rang the bell – again, and still no answer. She knew Morgan was inside though, she could hear her move around the flat when she pressed her ear to the door.

"Morgan, just let me in!" She called through the door. "I just want to talk, it doesn't have to be like this!" She sighed when no one came to open the door. "I'm still your friend." She added.

Then she took her phone and decided to add another text message to the previous dozen.

I'm not leaving until you at least acknowledge I'm here. Open the door. Ag

She waited for a few seconds, just looking at her screen and waiting for some reply.

"Morgan, come on!" She said out loud, leaning against the door and knocking again and again.

If Morgan didn't reply or open the door, she could at least tell her to go away. Ag knew she was pretty annoying with all the knocking and texts.

I JUST want to talk, I promise.

She hit send and waited again and again, until nothing happened. Again.

"Hey, are you alright?" Some old man asked her when he opened the door from the other side of the hall.

Agatha looked up and shrugged. "I don't know, my friend is inside and she won't open the door. I need to talk to her, but she obviously doesn't want to talk to me."

The old man nodded. "Perhaps you could give her a little time. I'm sure that whatever happened, it will be alright again." He smiled at her. "Maybe she'll answer or open the door tomorrow."

Agatha thought about that and nodded. "Thanks." She smiled up at him. "I guess I'll just go then, if she hasn't answered in the last half an hour, I guess she won't answer in the next five minutes either."

"Take care," the man smiled at her. "And good luck with your friend."

"Thanks." Ag answered.

After that, the old man closed the door again and Agatha sighed, knocking one more time and then writing another text.

I don't know if you heard your neighbor and me talking, but I'll come back tomorrow. I know that you remember your past life, and I want to help you. We can find a solution, but just please don't use your magic for evil.

When Morgan didn't answer in the next minute, Agatha turned around and started walking down the stairs. Morgan lived in the fifth floor, in one of the highest buildings in Glastonbury. It was almost in the middle of the town.

And as soon as she made it outside, she looked up at Morgan's windows. No movement. But she knew she was there. She heard her.

"Merlin?" She said as soon as she dialed his number. "Is Arthur with you?"

"Yeah, we're both here." Arthur answered instead of Merlin. "We're just on our way home from the woods."

"Nice." She smiled. "I'm just on my way to your house from Morgan's house."

"How did it go?" Merlin asked.

"It didn't go at all." She answered with a loud sigh. "She refused to open the door or even answer any of my calls and messages. I even had to ring her bell and disturb her neighbors, God." She closed her eyes briefly and opened the door to her car, sliding inside.

"Maybe she wasn't at home." Arthur suggested, but she was already shaking her head.

"No, I heard her inside. She was there, but she ignored me masterfully."

"Come home then," Merlin told her. "We'll hurry up so you don't have to wait outside and you can sleep in Arthur's bed tonight." She could hear Arhtur mumbling something right after Merlin said it and Merlin whispering something back.

"And you can go to her flat again tomorrow." Arthur suggested the same thing the neighbor did.

"It looks like I'll have to," Ag nodded, fishing out her keys from her pocket and turning it in the ignition, starting the car. "Anyway, bye, I'll see you soon."

"Bye!" They said at the same time, and after that she hung up, tossing her phone on the empty seat next to her.

She understood that Morgan was a different person than when she met her, but to ignore her like that? That wasn't like her at all.

xoXÖXox

It was raining heavily. The water was damping his dark hair and coming in streams down his forehead, nose and mouth. When he opened his eyes, he had to narrow them because of the rain, but he did notice it was very dark. It was night and he was walking down an old street in the Lower Town of Camelot.

He recognized the place, but it took him longer than he thought it would. Merlin didn't know why should he forget such a place, he lived in Camelot after all.

When he turned around, there was a cage in front of him. A cage with someone trapped inside – a girl. A young druid girl with long dark hair and ragged red dress.

Her eyes were looking into his, and he couldn't look away. He knew who she was, she was his first love – Freya. The bastet. The poor cursed girl that he fell in love with and stole from Arthur for.

The scene slowly changed and he could feel cold winter on his face that was tear-stained. He was kneeling beside a lake and holding a body in his arms.

"You made me feel loved," the girl said as her head fell backwards and her last breath together with her soul escaped her body.

"No!" Merlin screamed, but it was useless. She was dead. His first love was dead. The girl he hid under the castle.

The lady of the lake.

Merlin woke up to his own quick and deep breaths and a firm hand on his chest, keeping him in the bed. He grabbed the hand and moved it away, turning around and seeing Arthur with his hands in front of his body in the surrender position.

"Merlin, it's just me." He told him. But Merlin's eyes were still wide and his heart was beating faster than it should. "It was just a nightmare, Merlin, you're safe."

Merlin looked down and covered his face with his palms, taking a deep breath. He felt Arthur's hand on his shoulder, and he didn't hesitate to turn around and let Arthur wrap his strong arms around him.

A few tears escaped him as he closed his eyes and let Arthur hold him. "I'm alright," he whispered. "It was only a dream."

"Shh," Arthur whispered into his ear, holding his head and back.

When Merlin calmed down and lay back into his bed, Arthur entwined their fingers and lay closer to him to make him feel better. They were quiet for a few minutes, until Merlin sighed and turned to Arthur so their heads were very close.

Arthur's eyes were looking into his, trusting and worried. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently, rubbing the back of Merlin's hand with his thumb.

"There's a..." Merlin began. "There's one story I didn't tell you about yet."

Arthur frowned slightly. "What story?"

"Remember how I kept stealing your food that one week and told you I wanted to keep you in shape?"

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes slightly as he remembered exactly what Merlin was talking about. He nodded. "Yeah, I remember." He told him. "I'm not fat."

Merlin chuckled at that, but then he grew serious again. "There's a reason for why I stole those sausages and the ham and bread."

"I'm listening," Arthur encouraged Merlin when he paused again.

"Well, at the time, there was that druid girl that escaped and every midnight she changed into bastet and killed someone." He started carefully, watching Arthur's face for any hints he didn't like it. When Arthur's face stayed the same, Merlin sighed and added, "It was me who hid her."

"What?" Arthur frowned.

"I'm sorry," Merlin sighed. "But... I didn't tell you because-"

"Because it was bloody illegal and if Uther or I found out you thought you'd go to the dungeons? Or worse – into the stocks?"

"No," Merlin rolled his eyes. "I just... her name was Freya." He said, choosing to look down at their hands instead of Arthur's eyes. "And I brought her food and hid her under the castle. I didn't know she was the bastet, I thought she had magic just like me and that was why I wanted to protect her. I didn't have to pretend anything in front of her, I could just be who I was."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

Merlin swallowed before he answered. "That Freya was the first person I fell in love with." Before Arthur could say anything, Merlin continued. "She was the one who made me realize my feelings for you. I fell in love with her, and then when she... died, I realized that what I felt for you was something much stronger than friendship or brotherhood."

"I'm sorry it ended like that," Arthur whispered. "I'm sorry I killed her, I didn't know you-"

"It's okay," Merlin smiled up at him and squeezed his fingers. "It's been over a thousand years, Arthur. And you had to protect Camelot, I understand."

Arthur nodded. "So that was why you seemed so sad when I found you brushing my boots."

"Yeah." Merlin nodded. "But you cheered me up. Thanks for that." He smiled up at him. "And my nightmare... I saw Freya die again. I don't know why, maybe because I chose not to tell you about her in the forest."

"Maybe," Arthur mused. "But that's all in the past now. Let's just..."

"Let's just what?" Merlin smiled when Arthur put his hand on Merlin's waist and pulled him closer.

"Let's just focus on this moment." Arthur whispered. He looked into Merlin's blue sparkling eyes and then at his mouth that was mere inches from his own lips.

"And what do you want to do in this moment," Merlin asked in a barely audible whisper.

"Kiss," Arthur answered and leaned closer, gently brushing his lips against Merlin's.

Merlin didn't hesitate to put his hand into Arthur's hair and pull him closer, deepening the kiss and closing his eyes. They kept kissing under the blanket for good ten minutes, until Merlin pulled away with a smile.

"I'll just... go get a glass of water from downstairs." He whispered. "Do you want one too?"

"No, I'll wait here for you," Arthur smiled at him.

Merlin grinned and kissed him one more time, before he got out of the bed and went downstairs, completely forgetting about the nightmare he had. Well, that was until the moment he looked out of the window in the living room when he went there to drink the water.

It was raining heavily and it was dark in the garden. He heard a thunder, and then he walked closer to the window, looking out into the rain.

And then he saw a person in the dark. He frowned and narrowed his eyes, but as soon as he blinked, that person was gone. It looked like a dark haired girl, almost like Morgana. Or Freya.

Merlin shook his head and tried to forget about it, thinking it was only his mind playing tricks on him because of the nightmare. He already saw a girl with dark hair in the rain after all, and that was when he was asleep.

He put the now empty glass into the sink in the kitchen and returned to his room, walking quietly so he wouldn't wake up Agatha who was sleeping in Arthur's bed. Then he opened the door and closed it again, lying into the bed next to Arthur again and falling asleep while holding him.

And this time, he dreamt about his second love - Arthur.

TBC

Quotes:

- "Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing!" - This is from ep 2x04 Lancelot and Guinever, and Arthur said this to Morgana when she thought he wouldn't go searching for Gwen when she was kidnapped.
- "I am so sorry for everything you've been through." - From ep 3x01 The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part 1 - Merlin told this Morgana after they found her again and he believed her when she said she was held captive (she was with Morgana the whole time though).
- "I'm going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon." - Morgana said this to Arthur in 4x13 The Sword in the Stone Part 2.
- "You don't know what it's like to be an outsider! To be ashamed of how you were born, to have to hide who you are!" - Morgana said this to Merlin when they were fighting under the castle in ep 3x02 The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part 2.
- "Sometimes you've got to do what's right and damn the consequences." - Morgana said this to Arthur in 1x04 The Poisoned Chalice, when she wanted Arthur to go and find a cure for Merlin - Mortaeus flower.

Spells:

- "Ic ia tóspringe" - means "Yea, I open it quickly." and was used by Merlin when he opened the door to a house of one druid woman in 2x03 The Nightmare Begins.
- "Tospringe" - means "open quickly" and it's probably one of the most used spells in the whole show :D If Merlin can open any door with this, makes you wonder why did he try to steal the keys from Arthur... XD
- "Astrice" - means "I strike," and it was used in episodes 1x13, 2x01 and 2x12

(*) - 23 degrees of Celsius = 73.4 degrees of Fahrenheit

Ughh welp... I hope you liked the chapter because it took me so long to write it. I should have more time this week since it's the last week of school before Christmas and I'll do whatever I can to add chapter 16 (should be very short) and chapter 17 on 24th of December. But don't be mad if I don't, I LOVE writing this fanfic and it means a lot to me, but it's also very exhausting XD

I hope I'll update at least something, but if I don't... Merry Christmas!