"YOU LITTLE IMBECILE!"
Lilli winced as the Mother Superior brought her ruler down on her desk with such a hard smack, it splintered down the middle. The old woman shook with rage as she gripped the broken tool in her hand.
"You are by far the most deplorable, most abhorrent, most repugnant, most... most REVOLTING little blister to ever set foot in this convent!" She screeched. In her other hand, Mother Superior held up a little golf ball, clutching it so tight it threatened to explode into dust. "Did you think it was FUNNY breaking that stained-glass? Does it amuse you to commit blasphemy? DISGUSTING!"
Another whack against the desk had Lilli shrinking where she stood. Her whole body was cold as she stared at the floor, unable to meet the scornful gaze of her guardian.
"Look at me when I'm speaking to you!" Mother Superior snapped. Trembling, Lilli slowly tilted her head up. She hiccuped, forcing her sobs inward. This only seemed to make the old one angrier.
"It makes me want to vomit, knowing that I've another ten years or so to deal with your ilk." She snarled. "It is only by my duty as a servant of God that I must watch over little beasts like you. Even then, all I see when I look at you is a hopeless case."
A cruel sneer came across her face. "But that isn't too surprising, coming from the slug-spawn of a filthy harlot."
Lilli's face froze. Mother Superior pulled out a photograph from her desk. It was worn and tear-stained, but one could still make out the image of a smiling woman and her infant.
"Yes, I know who you are." The old witch said in a dangerously low voice. "I know who she was, and how she met your father...!"
A pause. Lilli stared wide eyed as Mother Superior held her tongue from repeating the stories only grownup ears could understand. The child, she figured, was diseased enough. No, better that she solve the problem than make it worse. The woman stood, still holding the photo tightly. Lilli's heart was racing, desperately trying to figure out how she could've been so careless as to let her one treasure be discovered. She wanted to scream and beg Mother Superior Ignatz to give it back. She would be good. She would always be good.
But her mouth became numb as her caretaker approached that horrid plant sitting in the corner.
"All ties must be severed. It is the only way." She said quietly. "It's for your own good."
Lilli was horrorstruck. She tried in vain to cry out, but her tongue refused to untie. She could barely cry a few syllables as the last remaining piece of her family was dangled over the plant's gaping maw as is reached out, snapping it's jaws.
"N... No...!"
Mother Superior stared down at her coldly. "It's what she deserves."
Lilli felt her heart go dead as the wrinkled hand let go. The child had only a single moment before the image of her mother was gone, torn to shreds by the starved creature. The pain was too much for the little one to bear. She collapsed, and everything came bursting free as she cried her little eyes out.
But she couldn't even have this moment. It was taken away by the sharp sting of the back of her shirt being jerked, tearing her away from the floor.
"Get up." Lilli heard the woman hiss. "And for God's sake, stop crying. You're eight years old."
The little one felt like the whole world was crushing her under it's heel. Though she wiped her eyes and stood at attention like she had always been taught, her body felt like she could barely hold it together and that one push would break her into a thousand pieces.
Mother Superior sat back down at her desk. "Go to your bunk and stay there for the rest of the day. You are to forget she ever existed. You are to spend this time purging her from your memory. Do I make myself clear?"
Lilli shut her eyes tight, nodding furiously.
"Good. Now get out."
The girl walked in an orderly fashion, not too fast, not too slow, just as she had been taught. But once she was out of the woman's sight, she ran as fast as her little legs could carry. She ran and ran until finally making it to her dorm, where she threw herself on her bed and sobbed into her pillow. She cried and cried and cried until there were no more tears left.
She laid in darkness for what felt like hours until she heard the flap of the dorm curtain shift.
"There you are! Good idea hiding in here. It's so obvious, she'd never think of looking." Lilli's heart lifted as Edna's voice filled the room. She lifted her head from her pillow to face her. "Boy, Mother Superior was really foaming when she found what we..."
The dark-haired girl's voice trailed off at the sight of her friend's puffy, reddened eyes. In an instant, Lilli leaped off the bed and threw her arms around the taller girl's waist, burying her face in Edna's stomach. The older one was surprised for a second, but gently returned the hug, placing a comforting hand on Lilli's blonde head.
"Hey, you..." She said tenderly. "What's wrong? Did she do something to you?"
She knelt so that Lilli could speak to her eye to eye. The child leaned in to rest her head on Edna's shoulder, and whispered everything into her ear. As the story unfolded, Edna's expression grew more and more disheartened.
"Oh... Lilli." She whispered, wrapping her arms around the child's back. "I'm so sorry..."
Edna continued to hug Lilli in that spot for a while, stroking her hair while attempting to sooth the poor girl as best she could. She struggled to find the proper words. She remembered her own mother, and how she had been equally taken away from Edna at a young age. She could remember the hurt and the unfairness of it all. Then, something clicked.
"When I was little," Edna started softly. "I lost my mom too. For the longest time, I thought I'd never smile again... but then one day, I met someone who brought it back."
Edna gently pushed Lilli forward to face her again. The girl's eyes were still shut tight, wet with tears. She opened them slowly to look at Edna.
"His name was Harvey." The girl continued. "And he was a magic bunny rabbit."
Lilli frowned a little.
"I'm serious!" Edna laughed lightheartedly. "He was my best friend. He talked to me. He taught me how to put balloons in the casserole and where to find tadpoles. We flew to the moon, traveled back in time, and fought monsters all right in my own backyard."
Lilli's expression softened as she started to see what Edna was saying. The older student smiled melancholic.
"With Harvey, I wasn't so lonely anymore." She said. "We were both weirdos. He understood me."
She moved a stray lock of hair from her face. Lilli watched as the light in her eyes dimmed.
"I... lost him a while back. Again I thought I'd lost everything. I was ready to just give up... but you know what happened next?"
The warmth returned to Edna's face as she brought a hand to Lilli's face, using her thumb to wipe away the tears lingering at the edge of the girls tired eyes.
"I found you."
A little smile crept at the corners of Lilli's mouth. The two hugged once again, feeling comforted that in spite of it all, they had each other. Lilli breathed easy as the aching feeling in her heart drifted off for another day.
Lilli's legs felt like gelatin, and her head swooned. Even after the countless trips into her own mind, the psychic battle she had just undergone left her feeling exhausted.
Regaining focus, she looked up at Mother Superior. The old woman had a look of shock, as if someone had plunged her into a pool of ice water. The knitting needles slipped from her hands, hitting the padded floor softly. Lilli watched her warily. She had no idea what the nun was going to do now that she was free of Marcel's control. Lilli assumed she returned to her old self, fly into a rage, spitting fire and brimstone everywhere.
But instead, she did something Lilli hadn't expected at all. The woman's face contorted for a second, and then she slowly began to sob. Surprised, Lilli glanced at Edna and Gerret. The latter was simply staring, but Edna was equally stunned. Neither of the girls had ever seen Mother Superior cry. She was large and domineering, a gale of wind that tried to make everything bend to her will. Now she looked so small and vulnerable.
Bringing a hand to her face, Mother Superior wiped her eyes of the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. Once she had calmed down considerably, she regarded Lilli staring at her.
"Thank you, Lilli."
Never in her life had the little girl ever expected to hear those words. Quivering, Mother Superior brought her hands close to her chest and over her heart. Long withdrawn feelings were finally returning, and it was hitting her hard.
"I had forgotten what it was like to be a child." She spoke softly. "All the unfair rules... all the restrictions..."
Unable to keep herself in control, the old woman began to wail again.
"Oh, Lilli... what have I done to you all?"
"Bravo, Lilli." Gerret's voice broke the tension. As heartwrenching as the scene was, he was impatient to get things moving. "Now we have her where we want her. Take the knife from her so you can finally cut us loose!"
Everything was happening a little too fast for Lilli. Mother Superior was still in a state of hysterics that she hadn't even heard Gerret speak. It would have mad things a lot easier. The small child had no idea how to calm the old nun.
Then it came to her. She looked down at Harvey, who Lilli had been holding by the ears this whole time. A story that had been told to her a long time ago was resurfacing in her memories. She hoisted Harvey into her arms, holding him up for Mother Superior to see.
"Awww... isn't that cute?" The old woman cooed between sobs. "Do you think I could hold it...?"
Lilli hummed in uncertainty. Her eyes fell upon Edna, who had been watching it all silently. Lilli could tell from the look on her face that she was thinking the same thing. A reassuring glance let the girl know that it was alright, at least for now.
"But... but Lilli..."
She looked down at the ragdoll rabbit in her arms that the squeaky voice had come from. Harvey was staring at her with his big, goofy yet sad eyes.
"What are ya up to?" He asked nervously. "Do you really want to give me to Mother Superior?"
The dismay in his tone shifted as he took a glimpse at the sobbing elder, crinkling his nose.
"I mean, she could do with some pizazz in her life, by the looks of it." He admitted before turning back to the young one bitterly. "But I thought the two of us are friends!"
He was staring at her pleadingly, the twinkle of childhood magic in his eyes refusing to fade away. It only filled Lilli with a somber reminded of reality.
"We could try so many things..." He said. "Come on, let's light a few things on fire... Or talk with Edna... or build something crazy out of different stuff! Or... or..."
But the sad, stern look in Lilli's eyes told him everything. If they could, Harvey's ears would droop down to match his growing sadness.
"Do you really want to give me to Mother Superior...?"
The child hesitated for one last moment, before giving a confident "Mm-hmm."
"Really?" Two voices said at the same time, one tired and hopeful, the other discouraged. Lilli nodded and carefully handed the bunny to Ignatz, who smiled genuinely for the first time in the many years of her old life. She cradled Harvey in her arms, which didn't really make the rabbit any happier.
Mother Superior insisted on giving the girl something in return. The smart aleck in her had a lot to say about what the crone could give back, but Lilli knew this wasn't the time or place for thoughts like that.
"Unfortunately, this knife is all I have..." Mother Superior sniffed. Harvey had to admit, giving little kids knives was already making her cooler in his book. "Do you think it would be enough?"
Of course it was, and Lilli took it quickly. Mother Superior thanked her for everything, and she meant it. Nobody could tell at the moment, but the nun had changed for the better.
But the same couldn't be said for Lilli.
She stared at the weapon she now held in her hand. The light from the ceiling reflected off of it, giving it a mystical allure. Lilli's heart was beating as it filled her with a sense of raw power. In a flash, she remembered the Valley of Uncomfortable Memories. She remembered the tormented faces of her fellow students.
She remembered Doctor Marcel.
Gerret and Edna were talking to her. She was distracted from most of it, but one thing managed to reach Lilli's ears: Edna knew how to leave the room. Doctor Marcel had locked her away in this very room once upon a time, and her escape led to his disfigurement. She would think on this revelation later, but for now it was just another one of the monster's crimes that fed the flames of her rage.
"Lilli...? Is something wrong?"
Her grip on the knife tightened. Though her face showed no emotion, her body was burning. The girl looked over at the patched section of the padded wall Edna had mentioned.
"Come on, cut us loose."
But she refused. The fire inside her was boiling. All around were the ones who had once commanded her every move, and her she was standing tall over all of them, sword in hand. For them she would still move mountains, but at HER word.
Now, the time had come.
Lilli ignored them as they called her name, begging her not to do anything rash. Their words fell on deaf ears, and she sliced through the stitches covering the ventilation shaft in one stroke. The cries of her friends grew distant as she clambered down the dark metal passage. She'd come back when the task was done, and they'd all be free.
She dropped down into Dr. Marcel's office with barely a pat. The old man sat in his chair, staring out the window. In the pale moon light, he looked soft and withered, no longer the menacing nightmare he really was. Lilli took a breath as her senses returned for just a moment, followed by an overwhelming sense of dread. She swallowed it down, forcing herself to remember the blood on his hands and loved one's he had hurt.
Without a sound, she approached him. She held the knife in both hands for the time to strike. She paused, staring at him one last time, and in that few seconds she could imagine Edna's arms around her shoulders, placing her hands over hers comfortingly.
She raised the knife over her head.
"...IF YOU WANT TO HYPNOTIZE ME, YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK FIRST, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW! YOUR THERAPY IS GARBAGE! WHY DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, GRANDPA?!"
Lilli's screams rattled all the way through the ventilation shaft and into the cell, where everyone sat in a stunned silence as all of the child's pent up rage came out in one massive explosion. Nobody said a word as Lilli yelled on and on with no end in sight. It must have gone on for over twenty minutes before it finally stopped. The room was dead quiet for a couple of seconds before Harvey finally broke the silence.
"Yowza." He whistled. "What a set of lungs."
Gerret was quietly ruminating. He knew something must have happened. From his position he had faintly heard Dr. Marcel speaking to Lilli. For the timid little girl to go fly off into such a tirade was so unlike her, Gerret was certain that the doctor had used whatever psycho analogy or mind games to mess with her head. The result had been something so terrible it caused her to snap.
"I... I had no idea she felt that way."
Gerret's thought process was interrupted by the one tied up next to him. Much of the little girl's rant had focused on both him and Edna, and Lilli's best friend was taking all in rather difficultly.
"I wasn't trying to boss her around, I-I just..."
"We'll have time to talk things over later." Gerret interrupted. "We still need to escape, especially with Lilli in trouble again."
"R-Right." Edna breathed, snapping out of her funk. She started scanning the room, though obviously little had changed. Then her eyes fell on the white-haired figured huddled in the corner with her rabbit, still weary from the events of the day and stuck in a state of shock from hearing Lilli scream her head off.
Here goes nothing. Edna inhaled and cleared her throat as loud as she could. Much to her relief, the old woman actually jolted out of her stupor and looked around in confusion before finally spotting the two above her.
"Oh..." She said, quite befuddled by the sight. "Hello there. What in the world are you two doing all tied up like that?"
"Enjoying the scenery of lala-land, obviously." Edna grumbled.
"There's a lot to explain, Mother Superior." Gerret cut in again, shooting the slyph a glare. "But we were hoping you could cut us down first."
"Oh dear." Ignatz put a hand to her mouth as the gears in her head began working again. "I did this to you, didn't I? Yes... Yes, I remember. Hold on a moment."
She stood, old bones creaking and groaning all the while she shuffled over to the wool trappings. All of a sudden she was moving at an electric pace as her hands pulled one string there, another here, all so quickly that Edna didn't even have time to blink before she and Gerret fell to the floor with a plop.
"What a relief." Gerret sighed, stretching the kinks out of his back. "I thought we'd never get out of those things."
"Dang, I wanted to get my own cocoon!" Harvey huffed from his spot in Mother Superior's arm. "Or at least get to play the Xenomorph and lay eggs in Officer Beavis' stomach."
Edna looked at the rabbit with such a fondness she had missed for so long. "You haven't changed a bit, Harv."
"You mean he's always been like this?" Gerret grumbled.
The old woman stared at the two blinking. "Who are you talking to?"
"God." Edna said with a stupid grin. Suddenly, a grey hand shoved a ball of wool right into her mouth.
"Boy, that felt good." Gerret smirked in satisfaction. Turning his attention back to the nun, he said, "Thank you for the assistance, ma'am. We'll take it from here."
Mother Superior was still confused as they hurried over to the vent. "But wait," She said. "What's going on?"
"We don't have time to tell the whole story." Edna said, going in first. "Lilli might be in danger!"
Before Gerret could climb in with her, he watched in surprise as Mother Superior pushed past him, attempting to lift herself into the tunnel.
"Wait a second," He said. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"What does it look like?" She snapped back. "I'm going with you."
Edna stared at her. "Say what now?"
"That poor child has suffered enough." Ignatz huffed, managing to squeeze herself in. "For once, I need to do the right thing."
"Come on, Edna!" Harvey said excitedly. "Let's all go together! It'll be just like old times!" Dropping his voice to a whisper, he added, "And when you get the chance, you can get me out of this situation..."
Edna and Gerret glanced at each other, but both wordlessly agreed that there was no time to really argue about it. There was no harm in letting her come with them anyway. The three crawled their way down the wide tube before coming to the open grate. Edna cautiously peeked inside, and grew increasingly worried when Lilli was nowhere to be seen. Then she saw Doctor Marcel sitting behind his desk. Hands balling into fists, she dropped down into the office and stormed over to him.
"Where is she." She demanded, voice low and dangerous.
The doctor didn't answer, and it took her a second to realize that he was staring straight ahead, completely stupefied. But Edna was not in the mood for anymore of that kind of nonsense tonight. If finding Lilli meant knocking some sense back into the old coot, she was glad to do so. It was a long time coming.
"I SAID," She repeated, cracking her knuckles. "Where is she?"
Her fist was barely raised before Gerret grabbed her wrist from behind.
"That isn't going to help." He said firmly. Mother Superior and Harvey came following close behind him.
Edna begrudgingly yanked her arm out of Gerret's hand. "It would've helped me..." She mumbled.
"I was so close."
Everyone's attention was suddenly focused on the old man in the wheelchair, who's words came out of nowhere. His face contorted into one of such defeat, all the menace and all superiority seemed to be sucked right out of him. His body slumped into his chair.
"I had her right in the palm of my hand." He whispered. "Victory was mine at last... and then..."
All of Marcel's delusions had come crashing down on top of him. It seemed that the defiance of one more child was the straw that broke the camel's back. Now all he could do was sit in a mix of perplexity and despondency.
As usual, Gerret was able to put things together. "I think it's safe to say that Lilli is gone." He said. "She might even be on the way back to the cell, thinking we're still trapped."
"I'll go look for her!" Edna immediately volunteered. She looked at Marcel again with a cold glare. "You guys stay here and make sure he doesn't try anything."
"I was just going to suggest that myself." Gerret said. "I'll try to get in contact with my superiors somehow. Good luck."
Edna nodded, and headed straight for the door. As she opened it halfway, however, she stopped. She took another look back at Doctor Marcel. Something inside her knew that after tonight, she may never see him again. He had done nothing but ruin her life, yet at this very moment, her heart softened just a little. As evil and bitter a man he may have been, the sad fact was that right now he was nothing but a broken, miserable old man with nothing to live for.
She took a breath, shutting her eyes. "Doctor... for the record... I'm sorry about Alfred."
The man didn't move from his chair, but his eyes shifted in her direction.
"I've always been sorry. I always will be. But..." Her eyes opened, and she looked over her shoulder with a frown that was neither hateful or pitying. It was a knowing frown. "I haven't forgotten Mattis Konrad, and I'll never forget the little girl who had him taken away from her."
With that, she was gone. The entire room was still. Marcel's head lowered as he drifted back into his daze. Gerret said nothing, knowing it wasn't his place to say anything. He did wonder if Edna's words had reached the old man or not, but he had pried into Edna's life enough. She deserved to have this moment between her and Marcel to herself.
Harvey wanted to speak up multiple times, but kept shutting his mouth. Even he could see that this was something extremely personal that he didn't have the words for. Mother Superior, while understanding very little, was still able to put enough peices together and hugged the bunny sadly. While Gerret began to pat Marcel down for any weapons he might have been concealing, she stepped over to the door to see if she might see the girl and give her own condolences.
Edna had been long gone, but the old woman lingered with her head partially in the hallway. The moonlight was shining from the window right on to a wooden door right across from her.
She couldn't tell if her mind was still disoriented or not, but it sounded like someone was crying in there...
Lilli wasn't in the cell.
It hadn't even been opened. When Edna found it, it was just as locked as before. Confused and growing more concerned by the second, the girl raced down the stairs as she tried to figure out what could've happened. Lilli couldn't have really been that upset with her, could she?
She tried to stay focused and pushed the idea out of her head. Coming to the second level, she took a sharp intake of air upon spotting the familiar faces of King Adrian, Peter, Petra, and Drogglejug gathered around a makeshift fire. Edna took a few steps forward with the intent of asking them if they'd seen her, but hesitated. She needed to move fast, and stopping to chat would only slow things down. Deciding to save it as a last resort, Edna went back to the stairs and rushed down to the first floor.
It had been the right decision. Right as the exit doorway came into view, Edna spotted a little yellow head marching right towards it.
"Lilli!"
Edna's joy and relief diminished when her friend kept walking, not even acknowledging her.
"L-Lilli?" Edna said again, coming down the steps to follow her.
"Go away."
Edna froze in place, unable to believe what she had just heard. Her heart began to pound. She had to fix this, she had to.
"Lilli," She tried again, before Lilli could reach the doors.
"I said go away!"
"Please, just listen-"
"NO, YOU LISTEN!" Lilli whirled around and screamed so hard, Edna actually recoiled in fear. "I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I WENT THROUGH ALL OF THIS FOR YOU! I HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU WEREN'T EVEN REAL!"
She stood their, panting and trembling as the floodgates in her eyes threatened to break open. Edna watched her, paralyzed with shock.
"L... Lilli," She finally uttered. "What are you talking about...?"
Lilli stared at her briefly before turning away, eyes clenched shut as if she were in great pain.
"Why are you doing this?" She whimpered. Her voice was dry and hoarse. "This is already hard enough... please, just go away!"
Edna had no idea what to do. She didn't know what was going on in the girl's head, or what Marcel had done to her. Timidly, she attempted to place a comforting hand on Lilli's shoulder, only for her to flinch as it was jerked away. Edna's hand stayed where it was in the air as the teenager tried to think of something to say.
"I... I'm sorry..." Was the first thing that came to mind. "I really am. I didn't want all this to happen, I should've helped you more..."
Lilli's breathing seemed to stop. She was standing still, now listening as Edna spoke. The dark-haired girl smiled hopefully.
"B-But everything's going to be okay now!" She continued. "Doctor Marcel will be arrested, and Mother Superior is better now! We can go back to the convent, a-and maybe the other kids w-"
"You don't know ANYTHING!" Lilli suddenly yelled again, whirling around and giving the older girl such an intense glare it made her shrink. "You think everything will just go back to normal?! It CAN'T, Edna! It never can! But you always think things will just go the way you want them to! You do what you want without thinking about the people who get caught in the middle because YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF!"
"That's... that's not true!" Edna cried weakly. "I care about you..."
"NO YOU DON'T!" Lilli snapped. "I'm just a playmate to you! Someone to get you out of trouble and do all your dirty work! You never lost Harvey, you REPLACED him! All those games we played, all the moments together, the comfort, none of it was real! Well, I'm NOT your Harvey, you're NOT my friend, and I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!"
The final screech of Lilli's tirade echoed throughout the silent halls around them. Lilli's throat was burning, but she felt it had been worth it. Breathing heavily, her eyes remained locked on the person she felt nothing but betrayal from. Edna was absolutely petrified by the child's words. Her mouth was agape, quivering slightly.
A small whine escaped her lips as Lilli backed away, still glaring furiously at her former best friend. She lifted her hands almost in a begging position, finally regaining her ability to speak.
"Please..." She begged with a pitiful sob. Her tears began to break free, cascading down her cheeks. "Please, Lilli, I can't be alone again... I need you... LILLI, PLEASE!"
Lilli's face distorted slightly, as if trying her hardest to stay angry. Her breathing was funny, and her eyes glimmered with the threat of her own tears pooling up. But she merely bit her lip and shut her eyes again, turning on her heel to face the door. She dragged herself forward, and upon reaching the exit, she hesitated one last time before balling her hands into fists and pushing the door open.
Then she was gone.
Edna waited, unmoving, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open. She kept waiting and waiting as if Lilli was going to come right back in any second. But everything remained the way it was.
Her arms fell limply to her sides. Edna stumbled to her knees, breathing in and out as her tears just kept on pouring out unending. Finally, her breath cracked with sobs before turning into all-out wails. Bringing her hands to her face, her fingers tore at her forehead in anguish. Edna keeled over, hair drifting over her face as she continued to cry into the dark.
Lilli had never looked back.
A/N: Reviews are appreciated.