Planetfall

a/n: Nothing lasts forever, which isn't to say it won't last for a long time. Keep telling yourself that, and maybe you'll be okay.

Fluff and not fluff. Not much in the way of spoilers. Swears are only suggested, because we're back in Lila's head.

All the good stuff belongs to Monolith Soft, and I wish like anything that I could walk along the corridors of the ECP White Whale before it was destroyed. Just saying, oh geniuses across the sea.

Lila was smiling. She couldn't help it. Not a small smile, but a broad, eager, expectant grin. Anyone who saw her would guess the same thing, and it was not something to share with the kiddies. She was going to see Jack, and even if it was only coffee, she'd see him, and that was amazing.

Maybe he'd walk her home. He shouldn't, of course. No extra time for that man, and she wasn't selfish enough to hurt NLA with her wishes. But she could be a little selfish, within reason. If he was going back to the Administrative Area, they might as well go together. Her preferred method of taking the access ring hugging the walls of the city didn't take too many minutes longer than walking through the Commercial District. She liked it because the enclosed ring of the work corridor protected her from any agoraphobia-related problems. Honestly, it was faster for her in the end, no need to calm herself into normalcy after a long walk under a deadly and open sky.

It was pleasant in another, special way: it felt very like walking the smaller workspaces of the Whale. No surprise, since that scrap of ship infrastructure hadn't changed much when the Habitat Unit became the New City of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels. Not much used, except for infrequent maintenance crews, and still featuring a few curious monitoring rooms, abandoned relics now that the job of life support had been delegated to the planet Mira. Strange little artifacts from their lost past. She had loved the Whale, had helped build and tend it, and walking the ring brought her comfort.

She'd shown her favorite nook to Jack, a disused room that had once been dedicated to power readings and atmospheric balancing. She'd wanted to ask him if he thought it could be repurposed for the city, either for boosting the energy transfers to skells out on the Primordia plains, or maybe as a local Frontier Nav site, to help communication. He'd found another hurried purpose for it, once the door was firmly locked. He held her, and growled in her ear, "Say yes." Something that he'd done every time, and his careful respect made her love him even more.

In that room, she could dream that they were still safe in space, still on the White Whale. Wrapped in his arms, wanting only to take one more breath to match his own, and wanting time both to rush and to stand still, she felt the better part of two years of repressed passion flowing through her. She'd adored him for so long, and never said a word, all that time on the Whale. It would have been criminal to do so. Things might be dire in NLA now, but on the Whale it had been a minute to minute battle to keep the ship from failing, at least for the first year, maybe longer. Every action needed to be min-maxed. She hadn't ever admitted her feelings, not even to herself, because it took less energy to pretend a thing wasn't there, rather than fight something impossible. But she'd used him, back then, to keep herself going at times. "The Chief needs this done, so I'll get it done." "The Chief built this relay, so it's not going to fail me."

Why had she waited so long, though? Things had started to stabilize on board by the end. There would have been enough time, if only just. Her smile dimmed. She'd gotten pretty sick from shock six months into the second year of their voyage. It had been her own fault, of course. She'd stuck her nose where it hadn't belonged, and seen … things. She shook her head. It had gotten her scared, and then she'd responded in the most self-destructive way possible. If her personal ministering angels, Gino and Mara and Jack, hadn't cursed, nagged and shouted her into getting better, she probably wouldn't be here. It had taken months, MONTHS!, to get back to looking at things in a way that felt healthy. But it had left a shadow of suspicion and hopelessness that hadn't left her, no matter what any angel told her.

Until two weeks ago, when she'd stepped across the line and kissed Jack. With that step, she became not just a citizen of NLA but a citizen of Mira. She was committed to this world, not because there was no other choice, but because she wanted it to happen.

And she was going to have coffee with him in less than a minute. One more stretch of open space, just an intersection, really, and she'd get to Barista Court and her goal. She focused grimly, for one last dash, and when she hit the brick façade of the business across the street, her grin returned in earnest. She had to keep herself from running along the sidewalk, her fingers skimming the wall. But even the most conservative observer would hesitate to say that she did anything less than whip around the corner.

Jack was waiting for her, and her impossibly large smile managed to grow a bit brighter. He stood up and walked towards her, a wonderful change. Usually he waited, trying to look serious before breaking into a smile just for her.

He was looking very serious, and very large, and Lila had just enough time to slow her steps and start noticing other things before he spoke.

Five minutes later, she relaxed from parade stance as he stormed off in the opposite direction. She'd said almost nothing, only denying the worst of his accusations, once, because she had never, NEVER, helped the Ganglion. Mostly, she'd rigidly taken it, because he'd been right, so very right, on almost everything else. All of her lies and betrayals, the people she'd hurt to reach NLA, the careful timing and casual use she'd made of him, he'd been (almost) absolutely right.

Good thing the access ring wasn't that far away. Even if she had to crawl the first stretch, she might be back at the refueling station before the gossip hit.

a/n: Wasn't going to write this, because it's painful, but then I imagined those two dorks sneaking around the access ring, and, well, here it is. You also know why I had to write more fluff so this wouldn't hit on Valentine's Day. "Tristan" was practicall public service, right?

How sexy would it be if everyone asked, "Say yes," all the time? And then listened and acted accordingly? We need to make this a thing, and before 2056. It may not be real right now, but I've made it canon for my NLA.

Lila's illness is described in "Twitchy Tales of the Whale/3/Broken" and if you were paying attention, you already know the cause, from way back in Ch. 4 "Sleeping Beauty". Don't worry, though. Eleonora will carefully explain it to you in a few more chapters.

Next up: Not dead yet, and the return of Hector. I cannot say how much I enjoy his voice.

AAAaaaaand!
I get to touch the Switch later this week
Asdadsfadsfawef!