Chapter four

First time for everything

Anna skipped down the hallway, filled with energy. She hummed a little tune as she skipped, her still-unbound flopping up and down along with her. The mark on her neck was fading, but she thought she might keep this style. It felt nice waving in the wind, unbound. It fit her well, she thought.

Already, she had walked around the outside of the castle twice. For whatever reason, she felt energetic tonight – almost electrically charged. She was finding it harder and harder to wait for their sessions each night. How could she, when she was learning just how fun they could get?

Maybe the hardest part was not talking to Elsa about what they were doing. The two of them were together almost all the time every day, and they certainly had plenty of alone time, but it was always quite clear that Elsa really didn't want to talk about their sessions during the day. She sort of understood why, but she felt like she might explode if she didn't talk about it with somebody.

So she had told Sven.

When she was alone with him, she had told him every last detail about what she was doing with Elsa – after making him swear to not tell anybody else about it, of course. She wasn't sure he understood everything she said, but by the time she had finished, his jaw was on the floor. She had felt a lot better after telling him about it, and not just because seeing a reindeer in shock was absolutely hilarious. Because, really, if it wasn't so embarrassing that she couldn't talk to her friend's reindeer about it, how bad could it be?

She'd also passed the time by doing some more research. She'd been a bit luckier in finding the correct books, and while she could only read a couple of pages at a time before having to put them down for a few minutes, she was learning more and more. Idly, she wondered what they might do in tonight's session. She couldn't wait to find out.

Anna sauntered up to Elsa's door and knocked three times. "Elsa?" she called, her voice taking on a musical lilt.

"It's unlocked," Elsa said from inside. Her voice was very soft.

Anna's cheerful optimism started to dwindle. Elsa didn't sound happy at all.

She can't want to miss another session, can she? She seemed just fine today. Maybe a tiny bit more distant, but not that much.

She'd been sending out quite a few mixed signals recently, and Anna wasn't totally sure how to react. She had assumed that the massage late last night was some sort of apology for their missed session, a sign that she shouldn't worry too much about the implications it. Now, she was worrying more than ever.

Or maybe she had read it wrong, and the fact that she gave a massage in lieu of a session meant that she just wanted to keep things platonic from here on out?

I really wish she'd explain herself a bit more, Anna thought, and not for the first time.

Now more worried than she probably should have been, Anna pushed open the door.

Elsa was sitting on her bed. She was smiling, but it was a weak smile. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hi," Anna returned, walking to her side.

She sat down on the bed, waiting for Elsa to say something, but she remained silent.

Back to this, then.

Finally, Elsa spoke up. "There's something I need to talk to you about," she said.

Anna leaned in closer. "I'm listening."

Elsa took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. "I'm…not sure if we can keep doing this," she said after a while.

Anna's heart sank. "What?"

"I said I'm not sure, okay?" she repeated quickly. "I didn't say that I definitely wanted to stop." Her voice was trembling, as was her whole body. "I just don't know…"

Anna gently put her hands on Elsa's arms, trying to steady her. "Calm down, Elsa," she said. "Just explain to me why you're thinking this."

Elsa looked down at the bed. She took another deep breath, shoulders rising and falling smoothly. "This wasn't supposed to mean anything," she said.

"What wasn't?" Anna asked.

"The kissing," she said, eyes still fixed straight downwards. "The touching. Everything we've been doing. It was just supposed to be practice, you know? In case I needed to know later?"

"Yeah, that's what you told me to start with," Anna said, nodding.

Elsa's bangs hung down in front of her face, silvery locks concealing her eyes. Even through them, the blush on her cheeks was unmistakable.

"See, when I said that," she began, "I didn't really know how it would feel. I never realized it could be so…so…"

"Wonderful?" Anna supplemented.

Elsa tensed at the word. "Yes," she said very quietly.

This still didn't make a lot of sense to Anna. "So why is that a problem?" she asked. "Why can't we be allowed a little fun for once?"

Elsa looked back up at her. "Because I love you, Anna," she said. "You're my sister, and my best friend in the world. I wouldn't trade that for anything." She looked down again. "Even this."

Anna tried to grasp what she was saying. "What, so you think this will change how we look at each other?"

"It already is!" Elsa said. "I used to look at you and just see Anna, my sister. Now I see your lips, and your legs, and…"

The path of her eyes finished her sentence. Both sisters blushed.

"I don't want any of that," Elsa continued. "I just want you to be my little sister. But every time we do this, you become less my sister, and more my…"

Again, she left the sentence unfinished. Again, Anna understood exactly what she was saying.

Anna put her hand on her sister's shoulder again. "So, you don't think we can be both?"

Elsa's head dropped into her hands. "I don't know," she said wretchedly. "I want to believe that we can, but with everything that's been happening…how could we?"

Understanding began to dawn for Anna.

She's just confused. All this stuff we've been doing – it's overwhelming for her.

And really, why wouldn't it be? This was her first time kissing, first time getting this intimate with someone else – first time for everything. All these new emotions were assaulting her at the same time. It was too much to take in all at once, and right now Elsa was panicking from all the sensory overload.

She needed someone calm and collected to help her clear her mind. Anna was neither, but she'd have to do.

She put her hand under Elsa's chin, turning her face up to look at her.

"I think we could," she said, doing her best to sound confident.

A hint of a smile crossed Elsa's face. "You do?"

"Of course," she said. "There's nothing in the world that can break the bonds of true love."

Elsa still looked uncertain. "I wish I could be as sure as you are," she said wistfully.

Anna smiled. "Then we'll wait until you are," she said resolutely.

Surprise and gratitude spread across Elsa's face. "Really?"

"Of course," Anna said. "You're under a lot of stress right now, and you probably have a bunch of questions. You don't need to answer all of them at once. I can give you a couple of days to think it over."

Look at me, spouting sage advice like I have any idea of what's going on in her head.

But she seemed to be on to something. Elsa's taut features were relaxing, the relief on her face unmistakable. She still looked tense and uncertain, but the sympathy and understanding of her sister had done wonders for her.

"Thank you so much, Anna," Elsa said. "I promise you, as soon as I figure this all out, I'll let you know."

"Seriously, don't worry about it," Anna said. "This is all for you, remember?"

Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it too.

"Of course, of course," Elsa said. "So…I'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"

"Oh. Um, sure," Anna said.

She should have been expecting it, but still, being urged out of her room like this felt a little disappointing.

She stood up. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, sis," she said glumly.

Elsa's expression quickly changed to dismay as she saw how upset Anna was. "Oh, did you want to stay?" she asked.

"No, it's fine," Anna said. "I mean, sort of, yeah, but maybe that wouldn't have been the best idea."

"I mean, if you just want to hang out, we can," Elsa said.

"Really?" Anna asked. "You'd trust me with that?"

"Of course!" Elsa said. "I told you I wanted to just be your sister. Sisters should be okay with hanging out in each other's rooms, right?"

"Sure, I guess," Anna said, surprised by her sister's candor. "If you're really okay with it…"

"I really am," Elsa said, her voice turning serious. "I'm not going to push you away again, Anna. I've told you that a thousand times."

Anna looked into her eyes. "I really appreciate that, Elsa."

Elsa smiled back. "I'm glad to hear it."

Anna plopped back down onto the bed. "So, what should we talk about?"

xxxxxxx

Anna tossed and turned in the big bed. An arm flopped over to Elsa's side, but she quickly withdrew it before she accidentally nudged her. It would be so easy to wake Elsa up right now, and then she might ask her to leave. And she definitely didn't want that.

As she lay there, sleep still eluding her, Anna thought back to their conversation earlier that night. Knowing Elsa, she had expected them to talk about something deep or emotional, or something like that.

She would not have guessed lilacs.

Anna had never given them much thought, but apparently they were Elsa's favorite. Something about their light violet color and the faint yet lovely aroma they gave off. Not the most ostentatious flower, by any means, but somehow their subtleness engaged Elsa far more than their more gaudy competitors. ("If that makes any sense at all," Elsa had added with a chuckle.) In response, Anna had voiced her support for marigolds, pointing out that even just a few of them could exponentially increase how vibrant a garden looked, bright yellows accentuating all the other colors, even the violets – no pun intended.

It was, by far, the most mundane conversation Anna had had in a long time. And she really enjoyed it.

As time passed, their conversations strayed to a myriad of other topics – books, dresses, far away kingdoms – everything under the sun. Really, the specific topics didn't matter. Anna immensely appreciated the opportunity to spend this kind of quality time with her sister. Nothing they talked about was of great consequence, but the conversation itself was very significant indeed.

We can still just be sisters, was the underlying message. This stuff didn't have to change that.

When the two first exchanged yawns, Anna had regretfully announced that she should probably get to bed soon. Elsa had replied by pointing out that they were already in a bed, and one big enough for two to comfortably sleep in. Anna had protested (softly), but Elsa's repeated assurances that she trusted her little sister had silenced her quickly. "Besides," Elsa had said, crawling under the covers, "You always fall asleep faster than me."

Of course, it wasn't often that Anna's body was filled with such boundless energy as it was this night. As the two transitioned from vertical to horizontal, then sank beneath the sheets, Elsa's eyes were the ones that drooped closed, while Anna's remained wide open.

And so, now the two were lying next to one another in Elsa's massive bed, Elsa slumbering peacefully while Anna stared at her lovingly, mind still going at the speed of light.

Awake, she had held Anna's attention well enough with casual conversation. Asleep, however, she captivated her by wholly different means.

God, she really is beautiful, isn't she?

The covers were pooled to her waist, which meant Anna had a perfect view of her entire body.

And a very perfect view it is, too.

The moonlight streaming through the window lit Elsa's face just beautifully, accentuating all her best features, from her gently sloping cheekbones to her blood red lips that, even now, were drawn into a smile. She was always beautiful, but here and now, she was nothing short of picturesque.

Absentmindedly, she ran her fingers along Elsa's arm, sheathed in its glittering sleeve.

I wonder if you're dreaming about me right now.

The dress dissolved beneath her fingertips.

Instantly, Anna drew her hand back, as if she had been shocked.

What was she doing? She had just promised that she would take things down a notch, mere hours ago, and here she was, fondling her sister while she was asleep! And though she hadn't known it would happen, the fact that she had exposed her sister in this way made her feel terrible.

Elsa trusted me enough to let me sleep here. And I almost just ruined it.

And yet, even as she mentally chastised herself, she found her eyes drifting to Elsa's exposed arm. Seeing her pale flesh silhouetted against the moonlight sent chills down her spine.

And a warmth between her legs.

She forcibly snapped herself out of this line of thinking.

No. I made a promise to Elsa. I'm not going to do this, not while I'm lying in her bed.

She pulled herself from under the covers, climbing out of the bed and heading for the door.

The white door slammed behind her as she hurried back to her own room. Anna barely gave it any thought. Elsa was a sound sleeper, right?

She ran into her room, locking the door behind her for perhaps the first time ever. She dove into her bed, closing her eyes and trying to clear her mind.

Instead, she saw Elsa again, her slumbering form etched on the inside of Anna's eyelids. The warmth between her legs intensified.

Embarrassed by her own arousal, she pressed the heels of her hands into her forehead. Still, image after image of Elsa's gorgeous figure floated through her mind.

The energy that had been coursing through her veins all day now served as kindling, fueling the fire she now felt down below.

I promised Elsa, she told herself again. She needs more time to decide.

The sensation was becoming unbearable. She pulled up her gown with her left hand, her right shooting down beneath the hem of her underwear.

Goddammit, why do I have to be the responsible one? I have needs too!

This wasn't the first time she had felt like this, but she had never been bold enough to do something about it before. With the memory of Elsa's sleeping form still in her mind's eye, she shakily reached into herself.

As if her fingers had been charged with electricity, the rush of emotions that immediately surged through her body knocked the breath out of her. She gasped, unprepared.

Working off the few relevant pages she had read, as well as primal instinct, Anna pressed on, pushing her fingers back and forth slowly, clenching and unclenching her hand.

The electric sensation flowed through her body again, coursing through her entire body before exiting through her mouth as a moan.

God, this feels so good!

She started moving her hand faster, settling into a sort of rhythm. Each time, the pleasure coursed through her like a wave rippling back and forth across a pond, except that it grew stronger and stronger with every pass.

Her underwear became an obstruction, so she broke her rhythm for a second to remove them, pulling them off her body and flinging them to the side. She then returned her right hand to its motions, while her left hand reached up her gown, seemingly on its own accord.

She groped her own breast, fondling herself beneath her nightgown. She kept up her rhythm, moving both of her hands in sync with each other. Elsa's image remained vivid in her mind as the pleasure within her grew and grew.

Was this right? Was this wrong? She had no earthly idea. All she knew was that it felt good. Really, really, good.

She was practically panting now, her breath coming in short, quick gasps. Her vision was starting to fade, and still she was going faster and faster, and was this ever going to end, because oh god, if this kept going for much longer she might actually-

Ohhh GOD.

Anna cried out as the orgasm rocked through her body. For just a few seconds, the nirvana fully eclipsed her. She arched her back, hands and feet digging into the bed. All she saw was white, and all she felt was pleasure.

Then, as it faded, she fell back onto the bed, her breathing slowly returning to a normal pace. A feeling of deep contentment washed over her as she sank into the softness of her bed.

Christ, she thought, that was amazing. She had never experienced anything that intense in her life.

Is this really what Elsa was so nervous about? I can't imagine any reason to not want to do that, as often as possible.

She giggled. "You really need to loosen up a little, Elsa," she said aloud.

The door creaked.

Anna turned to it. Most people probably wouldn't have noticed, so quiet was the sound, but having spent fifteen years being best friends with her sister's door, she was more attuned to the sounds they made than anyone else.

That sound had unmistakably come from something that had been leaning against the door being taken away. For example, a head being withdrawn from the keyhole.

A keyhole that, Anna now realized, provided a full view of her and her bed to anyone who might want to watch.

And now that she was paying attention, she picked up more sounds – the sound of floorboards creaking, starting in front of her door and ending in front of Elsa's, and the soft click of somebody trying – yet failing – to close their door silently.

Anna smiled. Didn't mean to scare you off, sis. Did you enjoy the show?

Maybe she should have been upset. If she and Elsa were in reversed positions, she knew Elsa would be. But right now, her mind was struggling to come up with any negative emotions. At all. She was feeling ridiculously happy, and ridiculously confident.

It'll be fine, she thought. She might be embarrassed, but she did watch all the way through, didn't she? That's a good sign.

It seemed, at last, the energy that had overwhelmed her through the entire day had finally dissipated. She felt herself growing tired. There would be plenty of time to talk to Elsa tomorrow.

Of course, she wouldn't want to. But it would happen eventually.

As her eyelids began to close, one last thought entered Anna's mind.

There is absolutely no way I'm going to let up now. Elsa deserves to feel this good. Hell, she NEEDS to feel this good.

And I kind of want to be the one who makes her feel it.