Chapter five

Taking things slow

Elsa had actually considered covering her face in ice.

Not for long, of course. Ideas thought up in the middle of the night often prove to be blatantly stupid the following morning. Even in her shaken state, she was capable of recognizing a bad idea when she thought it. But the fact remained that, for longer than she'd like to admit, she had legitimately considered spending the whole next day with her entire face covered with a thick sheet of ice.

Anything to avoid looking at Anna the next morning. Anything to prevent the awkwardness.

Because, really, what can you say to your sister after watching her do what she had done?

Good job, a sadistic voice in her head said. You could try saying that.

Elsa stopped in her tracks. She touched the side of her head with two pointed fingers. A sharp blast of ice rocked through her head, disintegrating every last fragment of that particular train of thought.

This was your fault, you know, she pointed out. You should have just walked away when you saw the door was locked.

She couldn't deny this fact. She cursed herself, and the morbid curiosity that had drawn her to look at the keyhole. And then, when she had looked through, when she saw Anna on the bed, realized exactly what she had been doing…well, she couldn't look away then, could she?

Oh, sure, she chided herself, you're just an innocent bystander. You want to think about how much of your dress you left there in a puddle on the floor?

She didn't. She really didn't.

She made it to the stairs, consciously forcing herself to take them one at a time. She descended slowly, contemplating what she had to do next.

She was just going to breakfast. She couldn't lock herself in her room forever, not anymore. In any case, she'd be thinking a lot more clearly once she had a good meal in her. Anna never woke up in time for breakfast anyway, so she'd be able to eat in silence and think.

Then, as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard Anna's bedroom door open behind her.

It's like she can hear my thoughts.

She forced herself to at least pretend to stay calm. She sped up her walking pace, determined to make it to the end of the hallway before Anna reached her.

I'm not running, she told herself. Anna won't want to look me in the eye either, not right away. It's probably for the best if we both just stay reasonably far away from each other for the time being.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The sound, innocent enough in any other context, was bloodcurdling for Elsa. She jumped, nearly breaking out into a run right there. Behind her, there was a soft thump as something landed on the ground floor.

Which meant that Anna had just slid down the banister.

And was now directly behind her.

Suddenly, the door at the end of the hallway was a thousand miles away.

Can't start running now, she told herself, almost as a command. Just keep walking, and you'll make it there before her.

Except, as she kept walking, it soon became clear that Anna was, in fact, gaining on her. She was never a subtle girl, and now Elsa heard a series of strange thumping noises, getting closer and closer to her.

What is she doing?

And what am I going to do when she catches me?

For a moment, she considered throwing herself against the wall and waiting for Anna to pass.

Yeah, because I'll blend right in with the red wallpaper. Good thinking, Elsa.

Then, as Anna passed her, she nearly did it anyway.

"Hi Elsa," she said breathlessly, passing right by her.

She was skipping.

Elsa stopped dead in her tracks as Anna waltzed through the door at the hall's end, trying to think of some explanation.

Even if Anna had just been talking to herself last night, it almost didn't matter. She had made such a commotion running back to her room that Anna couldn't have missed it. How was she so happy? So…carefree?

It had never made her THAT happy when she had done it herself. But then again, back then, there wasn't much that could make her happy. Except…

Was that…her first time?

Elsa put a hand to her head. If she had truly been both witness to and cause of Anna's first orgasm, then it now seemed incredibly unlikely that she could convince Anna to slow down.

She didn't want to stop, of course. She reminded herself of this fact as she clenched her fists and started walking towards the door. Throughout all the crazy things that had happened the last four nights, she was still enjoying it. That, in fact, was the entire problem. She still had no clue whether or not this was even right in the first place. She would figure it out eventually, she told herself.

If only Anna would give me some time to think!

She pushed the door open and nearly collided with Kristoff, who had been just about to open the door from his side. She drew back, head nearly colliding with the door frame.

"Oops," Kristoff said, taking a step back himself. "Uh, hey, Elsa, I was just looking for you."

"Really?" Elsa said, straightening herself. "What do you need?"

"Well, I had some questions about what, exactly, my job is here," he said. "A lot of little questions, not too important. I don't have time to discuss it now, but maybe at lunch…?"

"Yes," Elsa said quickly. "Yes, I agree. Lunch would be perfect, Kristoff. I'll just…gather some records and meet you in, say, the East dining hall?"

"Um, sure, I guess…" Kristoff said.

"Great," Elsa said, walking by him. "If you see Anna, tell her I'm getting ready for a meeting and don't want to be disturbed."

This was perfect. She could avoid Anna for a few hours and think about things without looking too rude. Some boring meeting like this would be perfect for helping get her thoughts in order. And miraculously, as she entered the banquet hall, Anna was nowhere to be found. She felt a pang of guilt for using such a sneaky excuse to dodge Anna, but they would both be better off for it.

It was almost too perfect, really. But she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

xxxxxxx

"Thank you so much. You're the best!"

"Glad to hear it. Now why did I just do that?"

"I'll explain it to you later. Come on, we have to get ready."

"For what?"

"For lunch, silly!"

xxxxxxx

Anna was Kristoff's friend – if not his best friend, certainly his best human friend. The two were pretty close. Also, of course, it was entirely because of Anna that he was working there in the first place, so of course she would care about a meeting like this.

Elsa knew all of these facts individually. None of that prevented her heart skipping a beat as she entered the East dining hall and saw Anna sitting there right next to Kristoff.

Stay cool, act natural, Elsa reminded herself. I said I wasn't going to freak out.

So she waved to Anna, leaning against the wall in a manner that her severely malfunctioning brain currently perceived as casual. "Hey, Anna," she said, forcing herself to sound like everything was normal. "What are you doing here?"

Anna looked up at her. "Oh, hey, Elsa," she said, her voice dripping with the same forced normality. "Kristoff said you guys would be having lunch together, so I thought I'd stop by."

Kristoff looked at Elsa. "That's okay, right?" he asked.

"Oh, sure, of course it's okay," Elsa said quickly, walking forward and taking a seat opposite Anna. "I mean, why would it not be okay?"

Kristoff raised an eyebrow. Elsa slouched into her chair, hoping to hide herself behind the massive plate of sandwiches placed in the center of the short table.

Kristoff cleared his throat. "Okay, I guess we should get started," he said, a little louder than necessary.

"Sounds good to me," Elsa said.

But Kristoff didn't reply. Instead he and Anna both stared at the door expectantly. Elsa turned to look, but nothing seemed out of place.

"I said, okay, I guess we should get started," Kristoff repeated, even louder this time.

"Oh, right!" came a voice from behind the door. Kristoff sighed.

The door flew open and Olaf walked in. "Kristoff, Kristoff," he said, his voice a flat monotone.

"Yes, Olaf?" Kristoff said. "What is it?"

Olaf opened his mouth as if to answer, then froze. A confused look floated across his phrase, as if he had forgotten what he was about to say.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Anna leaned forward. "Is something wrong, Olaf?" she prompted.

"Oh, yeah, right!" Olaf said, brightening. He looked back at Kristoff. "Sven is in some sort of trouble," he said in the same monotone.

Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa saw Anna wince.

Now Kristoff leaned forward. "What…kind of trouble?" he prompted, unable to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

Olaf stared straight forward. "Alittlebutnotalot," he rushed, all at once.

He turned to look at Anna. "How was that?" he asked. "Did I do it right?"

Kristoff groaned, sinking his head into his palm. Anna grimaced. "You did just fine, sweetie," Anna said, her tone indicating the exact opposite. Olaf, completely tone-deaf as ever, smiled.

Kristoff stood up. "Well, that sounds like it could be bad," he said, clearly having rehearsed his lines a lot more thoroughly than Olaf. "I'd better go see what Sven's gotten himself into this time." He walked towards the door, Olaf leading. "You guys go ahead, eat without me. I feel like this might take a while."

He stopped halfway out the door, turning back to them. "You two have fun," he said, grinning.

Anna scowled at him.

"Uh, not like that," he faltered. "I meant…enjoy the meal?"

She wasn't letting up.

Kristoff bailed out. "See you guys later," he finished lamely, quickly placing the door between himself and Anna's glare.

Elsa turned to Anna, smiling despite herself. "Well, that wasn't the worst performance I've ever been to," she said, rather surprised by her own levity.

Anna's head slumped, sinking into her crossed arms on the table. "Three lines," she said dejectedly. "Olaf had three lines. Kristoff had, like, five. How did they both screw it up so badly?"

Elsa couldn't help but chuckle. Their bungled performance had lightened her mood quite a bit, and Anna now seemed infinitely more approachable. "Look on the bright side," she said. "It worked."

Anna looked up, face brightening. "You mean you aren't going to…leave?" she asked hopefully.

Elsa noticed the mental substitution. Run away had clearly been what Anna had first intended to say. She felt a pang of guilt when she realized how many times she had done just that in the past.

She leaned in and squeezed Anna's hand. "Of course not," she said.

Anna smiled at the combination of contact and reassurance.

"So," Elsa said, "Do you want to talk?"

Anna smiled nervously. "Actually," she said, "First I want to eat."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"Hey, cut me some slack," Anna said defensively. "I skipped out on breakfast just to practice that."

"Really?" Elsa said.

Anna nodded.

Elsa sighed, taking a sandwich off the platter in front of her. "Well," she said, "Time well spent."

xxxxxxx

"But that doesn't make any sense, Anna. You can't just say that you love sandwiches," Elsa said, licking the crumbs of her second sandwich off her fingers.

"Oh?" Anna said inquisitively, picking up her fourth. "And why not?"

"Because a sandwich can be anything," she said. "Anything you put between two pieces of bread is technically a sandwich. You can't claim to have some sort of favoritism for something that abstract. It's like saying you love food that's served on plates."

Anna, having just taken a huge bite, held up her finger to indicate that a response was on its way.

It wasn't really a necessary gesture – Anna talked just as much while she was eating as any other time. From what the staff had told her, convincing her to not talk with her mouth full was one of the greatest challenges of their youth.

Elsa had kind of assumed that they had run out of simple, banal conversation topics the previous night, and yet neither lacked for small talk during the meal. Anna seemed intent on filling every silence, even the natural silence caused by having a mouth full of meat and bread. During public events, of course, this meant that she and more vocal guests would often dominate the conversation, cutting her and many others out entirely without realizing that they had done so. But with the two of them alone, it simply meant that she would respond with thirty words to a statement Elsa had made with seven. She might start to ramble about one thing or another, but she'd catch herself before long, often offering Elsa a chance to voice her opinion.

And oddly enough, Elsa did find herself talking more and more. Mostly in response to something Anna said, but still, the words came a lot more easily than under normal circumstances.

I guess I just feel more comfortable around her.

Which was incredibly strange, considering all the reasons she had to feel completely the opposite. By all accounts, this should have been awkward and uncomfortable, with neither of them being able to make eye contact.

Finally, Anna swallowed her massive chunk of sandwich. She burped a little, blushing as she did so. She pressed a hand to her mouth, smiling lopsidedly.

Elsa giggled. Awkward, sure. But how can you be uncomfortable with someone that adorable?

"I mean, yeah, you could technically make a sandwich out of anything," Anna said, "but then you'd just have a bad sandwich. You can't rule it out just because it's possible to make bad sandwiches."

"I guess…" said Elsa, still unconvinced.

"I'll put it this way. You could take a turkey leg and throw it into a fire, burning it so badly that it turned black and nasty. That's entirely possible to do, and it would taste terrible, but it's still possible to have turkey as a favorite food, right?"

"Well, yeah," Elsa conceded. "I see your point."

Speaking of turkey…

Elsa looked down and realized that not just the sandwich she was currently eating, but most of the ones on her side of the platter, had turkey in them.

How had she known?

She looked up at Anna, who shrugged. "Back when we were kids and they'd send up plates to your room, you had turkey, like, five times a week. It was kinda obvious."

"Oh," Elsa said, considering the implications of this.

She cared enough to remember something as small as that.

"Well," she began, "that's very…observant of you, Anna."

Instantly, she felt like hitting herself in the face.

Nice! The correct answer was nice! 'That's very nice of you, Anna'! How hard is it to give your sister a simple compliment?

But, incredibly, it seemed Anna had taken her comment in the best possible way. "Thanks, Elsa," she said, smiling bashfully.

It was uncanny. No matter how stupidly she acted, Anna was always completely understanding and kind about it. How could one person be so forgiving?

She deserves to be happy all the time.

If only I could be as willing as she is.

The meal continued for another ten minutes, with conversation coming a lot more easily now that the brunt of their hunger had been satisfied. Finally, Anna admitted defeat halfway through her fifth sandwich, though she insisted that she had once eaten six in one sitting.

"It's not a contest," Elsa said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Well, if it was, I would've won," Anna said.

"Yeah," Elsa replied.

The two fell into silence, both very much aware of where the conversation was now about to return to.

"So, now do you want to talk?" Elsa asked, pushing her plate aside.

Anna nodded. "Yes," she said.

Elsa took a sip of water, if only to justify the pause while she thought about how to phrase what she had to say.

"I don't want to stop," she said.

Good start.

Anna nodded in agreement. They had both done – and seen – too much to just stop outright, that was obvious. Even if they had wanted to, it would be pretty much impossible.

"But…" Again, an awkward pause found its way into the conversation. "…we were going way too fast. That was my fault – I didn't think it would start meaning something."

There were a million ways to misconstrue what she was saying, but Anna seemed to be mercifully understanding.

"I understand," she said. "So…we slow down?"

"Yes," Elsa said, although she had no idea what slowing down might entail. Sessions every other night? Once a week? Did she really want to do that to Anna?

Anna put her hand on Elsa's, a gesture Elsa was beginning to enjoy more and more. "Just tell me what you're comfortable with, Elsa," she said, smiling warmly.

God, I don't deserve her.

"This," Elsa said abruptly, having an epiphany. "I'm very comfortable with this."

Anna looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"The lunch, the conversation – this was a lot of fun," Elsa said. She put her hand on top of Anna's now, holding her hand between the two of hers. "Just the two of us together."

"Oh," Anna said. Then, realization struck her. "Oh!"

"What?"

"Was this…a date?" she asked, eyes wide.

Elsa thought about it. "Yes, I think it was."

Anna started blushing. "Oh my god, I so didn't mean for this to be a date, I just wanted a chance to talk. Uh, not that I wouldn't mind being on a date with you, if that's what you…"

Elsa smiled. She is so goddamn adorable.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "It was a good date. The kind I'd like to have more of. A lot more of."

Anna's stammering faded off. "So that's what we do, then? We'll just date for a while?"

Elsa nodded, feeling more and more comfortable with the idea. "That's what…couples do, right?" (She had narrowly avoided saying 'other couples'.) "They spend some time together before they…spend some time together."

Anna laughed at the double entendre. "Okay, then. I can do that. So, like, tonight, there's a play or something, at the theater, right?"

Elsa smiled. "There are plays at the theater every night," she pointed out.

"Right. So…would you like to…I mean…" she said, falling back into stammering.

Elsa stopped her with a smile. "Yes, Anna, it would be my pleasure to go to the theater with you tonight."

"Great!" Anna said. "That sounds like a plan. So, shall we seal it with a-" She cut herself short abruptly, looking as if she was fighting the urge to cover her mouth with her hand.

"A kiss?" Elsa ventured.

"Handshake. I was going to say handshake," Anna insisted.

Elsa laughed. "Come here, you."

She stood up, leaning forward over the table. Anna did the same, and the two kissed.

It was a short kiss, barely even lasting a couple of seconds. Still, when they pulled away, they were both breathless.

Anna smiled broadly. Elsa had a feeling she wouldn't be able to stop smiling for the rest of the day.

"Kissing on the first date," she said mischievously. "Naughty girl."

Elsa laughed. "Well, in my defense, it was a pretty good date."

Anna laughed back. "See you tonight, Elsa," she said, heading for the door.

"See you," Elsa responded, waving.

Anna lingered for a moment before leaving, smiling back at her before she walked out the door. Elsa gathered herself and prepared to leave.

But even as she was walking out, mentally preparing herself for everything she had to do before tonight, she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

It hadn't been particularly long – they hadn't even used tongue – but somehow it had felt different to her than their first few kisses.

Because now, it was starting to mean something.