Chapter seven

One last door

Elsa squealed as the water hit her face. Anna followed it with another splash, sending a second wave at her. Elsa turned her back to Anna, then spun around quickly, her arm swinging through the water in a spiral that sent a wave back at Anna.

The two slung water at each other mercilessly, laughing as they played. Anna splashed more vigorously, putting Elsa on the defensive more often than not. But Elsa still had a few tricks up her sleeve, including one where she shot a jet of water right at Anna's face by simply clenching and unclenching her fist. Anna shrieked as she moved to cover her eyes, her high pitched shouts echoing down the mountain.

It had been Elsa who suggested the particular location for their third date, and she knew she had picked a good one. Anna was having the time of her life, and that alone was enough to make Elsa smile.

The spring was located about halfway up the mountain where Elsa's ice palace sat. It never froze over, making it a popular respite for the ice harvesters in winter; in the summer, however, it was almost never visited. After all, why would you go to a hot spring in the dead of summer?

Unless, of course, you had the power of ice and could cool it, making it a very relaxing – and very private – place to spend an afternoon.

Kristoff had told her about it the day before, when she had been looking for something to top the play Anna had suggested. He had sounded quite enthusiastic to share the information with her.

"Sven and I could take you guys there, and the four of us could spend the day. It'd be so much fun!" he had said eagerly.

Then Sven had given him a look.

"Or…I could tell you where it is, and you two could go there while Sven and I did something else," he amended.

He was such a nice guy.

For a while, she had fretted about swimwear, but Anna had come to the rescue. Fishing deep inside her closet, she had come out with what appeared to be two handfuls of string with a few scraps of cloth sewn on.

"What is that?" she'd asked.

Anna had smiled. "It's called a bikini," she'd explained, holding up the two pieces to her body to demonstrate what they would cover. It wasn't much. "Trust me, in a few years, everyone will be wearing them."

Elsa had no clue where Anna found tailors willing to make garments so…scant…for her. But, then again, she'd desperately wanted to see Anna in them.

She adjusted the straps on her own bikini, one Anna had picked out for her. It felt like it needed constant adjustment, as if it were perpetually shifting into even more immodest positions than it currently occupied. For all she knew, it could fall apart entirely at any moment, which could very well have been Anna's plan all along. But she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel a little liberating to wear.

Anna looked stunning in a bright green set, the color perfectly complementing her hair. When Elsa had asked if she had any in light blue, Anna had laughed, muttered something about her being predictable, and grabbed a bright red one out of the closet. It wouldn't have been Elsa's first choice, but if she looked half as good to Anna as Anna did to her, it would be worth it.

Elsa pulled herself out of the water, sitting at the edge of the spring with her legs dangling into it. Anna swam around the deeper end, twisting and twirling around in the water.

Elsa watched her, smiling. She's just showing off at this point.

As the thought went through her head, Anna turned to look at her, smiled, and dove underwater.

A few seconds later, Anna's feet, followed by her legs, rose straight up out of the water. She continued rising until everything from her waist down was sticking out, and there she held steady, body pointed in a straight line skyward.

She was doing a perfect handstand in the three-foot deep water.

Elsa stared at her, actually breathless at the sight. Sure, it was easier than doing one on land, but to be able to hold steady for that long…

Then, after maybe twenty seconds, at last Anna's form collapsed, and she righted herself, gasping and coughing as she stuck her head above water.

The move somewhat spoiled the graceful picture she had just been a part of. Elsa couldn't help but giggle. Anna scowled at her, but that scowl quickly faded as Anna saw the humor inherent in the situation. Soon, she laughed too.

It was brief, but the laughter they shared perfectly underscored the mood between them. As Anna resumed swimming, Elsa continued to gaze lovingly at her, wanting nothing more in the world than to spend eternity right here with-

Whatever you want. Just don't leave me.

The smile faded from her face. Damn it.

Ever since Anna had said them last night, those words had haunted her. They had been her last thought before she went to sleep, and the first thought after she woke up. No matter what else she had done or thought, they were always just beneath the surface, waiting to emerge again. Now, after ignoring them for hours, forcing herself to smile for Anna, she had no further recourse but to think about them.

Have I really made her that desperate?

For 15 years, she had shut Anna out, and every day of those 15 years, she had wished she didn't have to. All the loneliness and pain she had suffered through for it, all the times she had cursed her own gifts.

For Anna, of course, it had to have been even worse. Even though she had free reign of the entire castle, and could have left at any time (before Elsa herself had ordered the gates to stay shut), she spent most of her time outside Elsa's door, unaware of even the reason why they had to stay apart. How much of her life had Anna willingly sacrificed to a sister that refused to even look at her face to face?

Every day after her coronation, Elsa had done everything she could to make up for lost time. Even before these sessions, they were spending every day together, and Elsa had apologized hundreds of times for the mistreatment she had caused. Every one of those times, Anna had dismissed it. Indeed, for the most part, she seemed to have been completely unaffected by the lifetime of isolation.

Until now.

Whatever you want. Just don't leave me.

The words cut her like a dagger, reaffirming exactly how much damage she had done to her sister. Every time she said no, every time she pushed Anna away from her, even a little, she was causing her more pain.

She wanted nothing more than to make Anna happy. To cast aside her inhibitions and do everything she wanted her to. Make up for all those years she had caused her to suffer. But every time she tried to take that final step, something inside her stopped her.

It wasn't because they were sisters – she had gotten over the initial weirdness of that pretty quickly. It wasn't because she thought it was wrong – how could it be, when it felt this good? It wasn't even because she didn't know how her powers might respond, although that was a legitimate risk. Each of these reasons had seemed perfectly valid when she had come up with them, but it hadn't taken long for Elsa to realize she was only trying to distract herself from the real reason she didn't want to go through with it.

Her whole life, she had hidden herself behind a series of doors. Her bedroom door, the castle gates, even her gloves counted. Each of these doors had, one by one, been thrown open, exposing herself to the world more and more each time. And for the most part, this was a good thing – she certainly didn't want to go back to the way it had been, sequestered away from the world and her sister.

But this was her last door. Whatever still stood between the two of them, it was the only barrier left between her and the world. And that thought terrified her.

If all her barriers were gone, what would be left of her? Would there even be anything left?

Whatever happened, she knew she'd be drastically changed by it. And who was to say it would be a good change? Anna loved her for who she was now, and she loved Anna as she was.

But it seemed there was more to Anna than she had thought.

Whatever you want, just don't leave me.

It seemed Anna had barriers too, and she had gotten a peek behind one of them last night. And if they kept going, it seemed hers might come down, too.

So, in other words, they were both about to tear down everything about themselves just to get closer to each other.

I just wanted to learn how to kiss…

Anna surfaced in front of her. "You okay, Elsa?" she asked, clearly worried.

Elsa realized that she had been sitting there for an unnaturally long time, probably staring straight ahead with a concerned look on her face.

"Oh, no, it's fine," she said, incredibly unconvincingly.

Anna smiled. "Come here," she said, holding her hand up towards Elsa. "I wanna try something."

Elsa took her hand and jumped back into the water, wary.

Still holding her hand, Anna led her out to the deeper part of the spring, where the water reached up to their shoulders. She turned around and put her hands on Elsa's sides.

"Now, take a deep breath," she commanded, smiling.

Elsa inhaled, unsure exactly of where she was going with this.

Anna, who had also taken a deep breath, leaned forward, and they kissed again.

It was a strange feeling, kissing with a mouth full of air. Still, kissing her felt just as euphoric as ever.

Then, Anna leaned to the side, pulling Elsa with her, and they were both totally submerged, still locked in a kiss.

Elsa, caught off guard, squirmed for a moment, but Anna held her steady, refusing to pull away. Soon enough, Elsa realized what was going on.

Anna, are you crazy? Elsa thought. Still, she didn't break away either.

After a few seconds, she started to get lightheaded. Spots started to appear in her vision. Somehow, though, her lack of oxygen only heightened the exhilaration of their kiss. Even as her survival instinct told her to push Anna away, she only clung tighter.

I am going to pass out, here in Anna's arms.

This thought occurred to her, and it didn't even seem too bad.

Soon, though, she felt Anna pushing her away. She let go, confused, and Anna rose out of the water.

She emerged to hear Anna spluttering and coughing. "Mouthful of water," she heard Anna gasp.

Elsa was breathing heavily herself. "What…was that?" she panted.

Anna held up a finger, still coughing. After a while, she turned to Elsa.

"It was…an idea. You know like…when we kiss…your heartbeat speeds up, and it gets hard to breathe?"

Elsa nodded.

"I thought, if we went underwater…it might…magnify it or something? It was a stupid idea," she finished lamely. "I'm sorry."

Elsa, still breathing heavily, managed a smile. "No," she managed. "That was…fun."

Anna grinned back, then coughed again. "Glad you think so," she said, chuckling.

As she pulled herself out of the water, Elsa had made up her mind.

I have to go through with this. Even if I'm not ready for it myself, Anna deserves everything I can do to make her happy. Hell, she deserves a lot more than I can give her.

Again, she reminded herself how unworthy she was of a sister like Anna.

I'll do it tonight. Forget about my inhibitions; Anna's waited long enough.

Tonight, for sure.