Chapter 97: Creeping Darkness

Sora's Shadow took a deep breath, cracked his knuckles. He was perched on her windowsill—the way he'd gotten in here, in case his normal form of travel would've startled her awake. It was the dead of night. She was asleep, in her bed, some three, four feet away from him.

He didn't move off the windowsill, or any closer. He didn't dare.

It was easier this way—and, it wasn't like physical distance mattered much. He could see her, even if he could not see her face. (Despite his denial for how he felt for her, he knew it was best if he did not see her face, so that the inevitable pain on it could not make him hesitate. There was no room for hesitation, in an operation like this one.)

Sora's Shadow took another deep breath, rubbed his hands together. There was no more reason to delay.

He knew what he was here to do.

He knew how to do it.

He knew all her doubts, he knew all her fears. He knew what words to say. He knew how to manipulate the darkness to make the lies easier to swallow, to make them stick.

All he had to do was…

Do it.

xxx

She was dreaming.

It wasn't a very pleasant dream—but pleasant dreams had been few and far between for Kairi, lately.

This one was hardly different from the others.

She was wading through and endless sea of darkness. She didn't know if there was actually ground beneath her, or if it was the darkness itself that supported her weight. She just knew she had to hurry.

She had to hurry, except her movements were sluggish and slow. The darkness was pulling her back, and her legs were like jelly.

(What did it matter, anyway? Why was she still clinging to—)

She kept moving. She didn't have far to go, and she knew that.

She saw him, in the distance. Where he always was.

Sora.

He wasn't shouting. He hadn't been shouting for nights. The sound of his voice was just a distant echo that reverberated in her mind, a memory that was starting to grow distant.

(Was it possible, that she could forget her best friend's voice?)

He was still reaching out, though, from the sea of darkness that surrounded him. Reaching out for her hand.

Kairi moved forward, even though she knew it didn't matter. The dream always ended here. She'd reach for him, she'd nearly grab him, and then—

There was someone standing between them. This was new.

And she hadn't woken up yet. That was also new.

The person standing before her had no face, or any features really. They seemed to be made of shadows, as black as the darkness that surrounded them, vaguely human shaped. The only distinguishing feature on them was a white smile that spread across where their face should be.

"You can't save him," the figure said.

Their voice seemed to press in on here from all sides. Their mouth didn't move at all.

"Wh-What?" Kairi asked, looking around her. The darkness around her was now only up to her ankles, instead of around her waist. Sora had seemed to fall deeper below her, though he had not been obscured any further by darkness. Kairi glared at the figure before her. "Who are you!"

"Why do you even bother?"

Kairi swallowed. "I- I have to—" she began.

"Sora's gone," the figure continued, as if she had not spoken. "He's lost himself to the darkness, and he's not coming back."

"What? No he hasn't!"

"Do you really believe that?"

"He's coming back! He's- he's fine!" Kairi protested. There was an emptiness in her stomach, though. A hollowness in her chest.

He was coming back!

…But four months was an awful long time to take.

(Images pressed into her mind. Sora in a sea of darkness like this one, a hand around his neck, pulling him down. Sora, drowning in a darkness like this, his face only just visible, his eyes wide in terror.

Those were the pictures Namine had drawn. The pictures that Namine thought meant something. The pictures that Kairi refused to acknowledge, though they still haunted her. They always haunted her.)

"He's not coming back," the figure repeated. "You know that. You do! You've known that all along."

"I…" Kairi tried, but the words would not come to her. More images, more memories pressed into her mind.

("What if he's not coming back!?"

"He is, Kairi. He is. You just have to believe.")

"And even if he does come back…"

(Sora's face, distorted. A lopsided smirk on his face that was not his own, his eyes wide and rabid.)

"What's to say you'll recognize him?"

("Don't you recognize your BEST FRIEND?"

But it wasn't his voice.)

Kairi swallowed, hard. It was hard to find any words to protest. There was no reason she should listen to the voice of a stranger, but the darkness around her seemed to crush her, so long as she thought that. It seemed to crush her, and yet, she wasn't wading through a sea of it anymore. She was standing on some sort of solid ground.

"I- I still have to—" Her mouth moved, but there was no conviction behind her words.

"You still have to what?" the figure taunted. Their smile seemed to grow wider. "Even if it was your responsibility to save him, what would you do? You are powerless. You can't fight the darkness. You can't even reach Sora. So how could you possibly save him?"

Kairi trembled, where she stood, hands clenched into fists.

She wanted to argue, but…

They were right.

What was she supposed to do? She couldn't leave the islands. Wishing and hoping weren't doing any good, as far as she could see. If they were, then Sora'd already be home!

What else did she have to do? Send letters? Clearly, that wasn't working either.

There was nothing she could do, and she was so exhausted, so tired of hoping. So tired of being the only one who held Sora's memory in her heart. So tired of the only one worrying about his safety.

"Then why worry about it? Why worry about him?" the figure asked. They sounded so sweet, so kind. The idea sounded pretty appealing, too. "You already know what's happened to him! You can't save him from that—so why worry? It's not your burden to bear."

"He…" Kairi whispered. Her eyes flickered to where Sora was supposed to be, in this dream. He wasn't there anymore. She found it hard to care.

"He's gone."

The figure kept smiling at her, from where they stood.

"You don't have to be afraid any longer."

xxx

When Kairi woke up in the morning, it was in a haze. Everything seemed a little distant, a little foggy, and yet…

She'd felt lighter than she had in a long time.

She still didn't stare too long at the pictures that decorated her walls, because thinking about Namine still hurt. But she didn't avoid small talk with her father this morning, either. She smiled at Selphie when Selphie approached her. The missing gap, the moment of pause that should have been Sora's name on the school roll call did not grate on her as it normally did.

She did not think about Sora at all.

He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

So what did it matter?

xxx

Sora's Shadow stumbled out into the Dark Margin, falling to his knees. He pressed a hand to his mouth, bile thick on his tongue.

The job was done. He'd convinced Kairi to give up on Sora.

And it had been so easy.

(That was the worst part.)

He wasn't sure if his lies had been just that convincing, if her darkness-tainted heart had been forced to believe him…

Or if she really didn't have that much faith in Sora to begin with.

At least one of those should have made him happy, but he was sure neither of them did.

"Stupid stupid stupid!" he hissed to himself, digging his fingers into the sand beneath him. "You don't care, you shouldn't care, you should HATE HER!"

He had no reason to be twisted up in knots like this. She wasn't even hurt—she was happier this way! And- And it didn't matter, even if he had hurt her. It didn't!

With Kairi out of the way, he was free to do whatever he wanted to with Sora. He could finally do what he was meant to do! He could finally drag Sora into darkness! Sora wouldn't have the strength to struggle, wouldn't have the energy, and without Kairi's faith supporting him, he'd be one with the darkness again. That was all he'd ever wanted!

So why was he so damn upset?

He sniffled, and then lurched, realizing what he was doing. He reached up a hand to his cheek, and recoiled at the feel of tears on it.

Tears!

"You can't cry!" he told himself, furiously. "You don't have a heart, you can't cry! You- You aren't capable of—"

But he wasn't capable of love, either.

And, if he didn't love Kairi, then he couldn't think of another reason he was feeling this way.

He felt completely dead inside.