Author's Note: Back to our main storyline! In the first chapter we found out Remus has been in Iceland since he left Hogwarts, now we get to find out how things have been going with Harry and Sirius. A huge thanks to elanev91 who literally is Sirius Black and always tells me that my writing is not terrible. As always, I own nothing but my love for these characters.

It was blissful, walking out of the Dursleys' house for the last time, trailing his trunk behind him, Sirius' thin and tattooed arm around his shoulder. He was laughing and Harry was laughing and the sun had peeked out from behind the grey English clouds - Harry thought he'd never felt more alive. The very air in his lungs felt fresher, the sun felt warmer, he even thought that he felt taller. Although, considering the rate he was growing that could be possible. He could have cast a thousand Patronuses, enough silver stags to fill the Great Hall.

Harry couldn't see the disrepair and damp of Grimmauld Place. Sure it was a bit spooky, and he had been surprised to say the least at the type of wizards Sirius' family had seemed to be, but on the other hand the house was theirs. It was a big, old, comfortable house that he could share with his real family. Not those relatives that tried to beat the magic out of a child, or enslaved a pre-teen, or only ever told him how worthless he is. Sirius was delighted by everything he did, every story, every terrible joke, every preference and interest. He wanted to know everything about Harry, to support him and teach him about the wizarding world. He wanted to hear every terrible thing Snape had done as a teacher and thoroughly enjoyed joining in Harry's vocal dislike for him. He had so many stories to tell him and Harry hung on every word.

After a week at Grimmauld Place, Sirius arrived in the kitchen with his arms full of cleaning supplies. His head was barely peeking over the gloves, sponges, buckets, paint rollers and various other objects, grinning maniacally. Harry eyed the pile suspiciously.

"What's all that for?"

"Don't you think it's time we make this place smell less like Slytherin's balls? I mean, I hope at some point we can get a place that wasn't owned by my parents but in the meantime we should get to work, yeah?"

And they had. They set to work clearing the house through magic and elbow grease, the wizarding wireless blaring away all the while. Cleaning with Sirius was not like cleaning up at the Dursleys'. It was filled with laughter, in fact everything that Sirius did seemed to be announced with booming barks that cut the air and reverberated off the walls. Harry wondered if the dog had influenced him, or him the dog. They teased each other, throwing garbage out by the bagful, Sirius with his hair up in a ponytail, Harry having to pull his glasses off time after time to wipe the dust and grime off them.

Together they cleared out the house enough to invite the Weasleys over. Harry wanted Ron to come stay but Mrs. Weasley didn't yet seem keen on letting her youngest son spend too much time alone with Sirius, who in her mind might be innocent, but had certainly spent a lot of time in a place that could have unhinged him. Sirius tried not to show how much this bothered him, "She knows I'm dangerously charming," he had said, the smile not quite reaching his eyes, "she probably doesn't want Ron picking up any of my prodigious talents for trouble. Though based on what you've said I think Fred and George could have given your dad and I a run for our money." But Harry was starting to recognize the moments where Sirius' laugh was used more to distract from the faraway look in his eyes than to express some genuine joy. If he hadn't been so used to reading the expressions of his uncle as a survival skill, he never would have noticed it. Still, he reasoned, the man had spent twelve years amongst the worst creatures Harry could imagine. Certainly it would all take time. And they had plenty of time.

It was two months into their residence at Grimmauld place that Sirius sleepily trudged into the kitchen and set the kettle on, scratching his bed head. He looked miserable. There were red and purple rings under his bloodshot eyes and he moved as if he were in a daze. Harry sat at the long wooden kitchen table, working on a summer assignment in a halfhearted way and nibbling on his fifth piece of toast. That was one of the many perks of living with Sirius, he could actually eat whatever he liked over the summer as well as at Hogwarts. Harry checked the clock. It was 10:45am. Sirius was a late sleeper but this was worse than usual.

"You look terrible."

Sirius turned away from the stove, "Oh gee, thanks kid."

"Didn't sleep?"

Sirius nodded in a sort of noncommittal manner, turning back to the kettle. "You know how it is, still not used to the bed and all that."

Harry could tell by the way Sirius held his shoulders a bit tighter as he said it that he was lying. Sirius hadn't been sleeping well for a while, but he never wanted to talk about it. Harry was sure that if Sirius got whatever was bothering him off his chest that he'd be able to rest, and if anyone deserved rest it was his godfather. He'd tried again and again to get Sirius to talk or to figure out what was bothering him. Weirdly, the only time that Sirius would clam up was when Harry mentioned Professor Lupin. Sirius would gladly go on and on about Harry's dad or their pranks in school, but whenever Lupin came up he would do this thing where he shook his head just a bit, like he was trying to rid it of some frustrating thought. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, then Harry thought he'd try something.

"I had these really terrible nightmares last night."

Sirius turned around. "You did?" His expression had softened instantly and he came over to where Harry was sitting next to his potions essay and sat down. Harry knew he was new to this parenting thing, but he also knew how hard Sirius had been trying, and maybe this was a way to get him to talk. He crossed his fingers under the table, Hermione told him he was not good at subtlety but it was worth a shot.

"Yeah, I dreamed we were back in the Shrieking Shack, and that Professor Lupin," Sirius' eyes widened a bit but he didn't say anything sure enough, he shook his head just a bit to the left and immediately broke eye contact with Harry, "he was hurt, like in his wolf form and he was whining but we couldn't get to him to help him, we were too afraid to get bitten."

"I was there?"

Harry nodded, "And Hermione and I too. It was weird." Harry let the pause hang heavy in the air between them. Sirius had a faraway look in his eyes.

"I mean," Sirius sighed, "Remus can take care of himself Harry. We don't have to worry about him. And you certainly don't need to be afraid of him. He's a mostly tame wolf."

Harry said nothing, he didn't want to interrupt Sirius, who seemed to be mulling over what to say next. He still wasn't looking at Harry, now he was examining the hem of his shirt.

"People, you know er...people always underestimated him, ever since we were kids. They used to think that James and I were the brains and brawn of the group but Remus was crafty. He was forever talking us out of trouble, even though he was usually the fucking one that made up the plan to get us in it in the first place." Sirius laughed, staring a bit wistfully "He knew how to keep a low profile even then."

Harry nodded. The silence stretched thick between them. He realized that Sirius was going to need another prod.

"I just wonder where he is, is all."

"You could write him if you're worried."

Harry was starting to lose his patience. Sirius clearly wanted to contact Remus, every time Harry's former professor came up, he would stare off and start reminiscing about their time in school. As close as Sirius and James were, it seemed often to Harry that Remus and he had been closer - and so Harry had been trying to get Sirius to write Remus basically since the moment that they'd left Hogwarts. He didn't, however get the sense that he could just come out and say it, he was worried that though Sirius was all bravado and laughing confidence, that Azkaban had left Sirius a lot more fragile than even Sirius understood.

"Yeah, he did say Hedwig would be able to find him no matter what."

The kettle started singing and Sirius got up from the table without responding. It didn't make any sense. They'd been friends, best friends even. And now Remus finally knew that Sirius was innocent! And Sirius knew that Remus knew that he was innocent. Sure, things would be awkward for a bit while they got to know each other once again but Harry couldn't imagine them not even wanting to speak. If it had been him and Ron there's no way that he wouldn't be talking to him. They'd be spending every waking minute trying to catch up! He didn't understand it. He sighed and continued on his piece of toast. It looked like he was going to have to go to Hermione.

Harry passed Hermione a butterbeer and Ron took a seat on the windowsill near her. Harry instead leaned back on his hands on his large oak four-poster. Hermione and Ron were finally spending the night now that Grimmauld place had been largely cleaned up. Not only did Harry now have his own bedroom for the first time in his life (and it was a particularly grand one, with new paint, Gryffindor banners, a huge comfortable bed, and a large window that looked out into the square) but Sirius had connected another of the floors rooms to his, so he had a study as well. Hermione had spent all day giving him suggestions for what books he needed to fill the new shelves with and Ron helped Harry put up photos from Hagrid's album on the wall. Once he had some armchairs or couches near the fire it would be a cozy place to read and relax.

Harry couldn't believe his luck. Only a few months ago he was dreading going back to being Dudley's punching bag for the summer and was sure to drop the few pounds he had put on at school. Now he and Sirius were living in this huge house and he could travel by floo to see his friends whenever he felt like it. And though Sirius clearly loved having him around, he still sensed something was weighing on his new guardian, and he had his suspicions that it had to do with a certain professor. They were leaving for Hogwarts in a few days, the autumn was starting to really set in. If he was going to figure out what was going on with Sirius he didn't have much time.

"So you really have no idea why they're not speaking?" Hermione asked with her brows drawn together like she was examining a particularly difficult arithmancy problem.

"None. It's weird yeah? Like every time I start trying to talk about Professor Lupin, Sirius gets all misty-eyed and starts talking about the past and how good of friends they were. What kind of best friends don't want to talk to each other?"

Ron wiped butterbeer from the corner of his mouth, "Must be kind of awkward though right? Lupin thought that Sirius killed...er...killed your parents right?"

Hermione nodded, "But now Lupin knows the truth."

"Yeah. So what's the deal then?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Harry said, "It's like there's something that neither of them wants to tell me."

Ron looked puzzled and shrugged, "I mean if they want to talk again they will."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Clearly someone has to push them into it," she turned to Harry, "You know how stubborn Sirius can be, and this is a sticky situation. They must have so much they need to work out, get closure on."

Ron smirked, "Closure is a girl thing Hermione, I don't think we should-" but the look that she gave him was so withering that he didn't even finish the sentence.

Harry intervened, "No I think Hermione is right. Sirius is…" he tried to find the right words, "he's really important to me you know? And if I can help him, I owe him that. I mean look how different he's made my life, and his has been so hard."

Ron nodded slowly and Hermione smiled at him.

"Let's just go speak to him then. It might not be the most subtle technique but it sounds like you've tried those...to the best of your ability"

Ron looked at the clock on the wall, "He might be asleep, it's nearly eleven."

Harry shook his head, "He's always up late. We can check the lounge downstairs, he likes to read down there."

Ron still looked skeptical, as if he didn't understand why they'd be intervening in this kind of emotional tangle, but he followed the other two out of Harry's bedroom and down the narrow flight of stairs to the main level of the house. They did indeed find Sirius in his favorite chair in the lounge of the house with a book in his lap but he wasn't reading. Instead he was pouring a glass out of a rather large bottle of firewhiskey that was only a quarter full. Judging by Sirius' red face, he had consumed a large portion of the bottle that evening while the trio had been upstairs. Harry paused, feeling a bit like they were intruding on something secret, but Sirius had already spotted them so there was no point in backing out now.

"Harry!" He looked delighted, "I hope you three are staying out of tr-trouble...erm...told Molly I am a responsible fucking...guardian now."

Ron laughed and sat in the chair opposite Sirius, "Sirius are you, are you pissed?!"

Sirius turned to him, but the motion was too quick, because his head seemed to have much more momentum than he planned and he had a hard time stopping it in time to look directly at Ron. He pointed at him, "You, you are much too observant Young Weasley...I am, actually...a bit...a little." He laughed, a big bark laugh that reached his eyes, "Okay, kind of pissed. Do me...a solid kids and don't tell Molly yeah?"

Hermione looked apprehensive.

Harry shrugged and sat down, "Nah, Sirius we won't tell anyone."

Sirius grinned, "Cheers Harry. Have some firewhiskey." He passed the bottle to Harry who took it but didn't drink. Hermione was looking downright disapproving now.

"I don't think you should Harry."

"Oh lighten up Hermione," Ron took the bottle of firewhiskey from Harry's hand and took a swig from it then coughed as it burned down his throat. He handed the bottle back to Harry who followed suit with a guilty and slightly manic smile. When Hermione shot him a look he shrugged. "What? Sirius was probably our age when he started drinking a bit."

Sirius nodded, "Oh yeah, I think I had my first drink when I was in second year! I won't tell. It's good to...erm...practice….know your limits. Then you won't be throwing up later."

Hermione snorted but sat down. After the boys had a few more sips she confiscated the bottle wordlessly from them. When no one was looking, she took a small sip. She smirked to herself but no one noticed because Sirius was speaking loudly.

"There was this one time James and Remus and I nicked McGonagall's scotch after she ummm...gave us a talking-to for...erm...something or other and we took the booze up to the Astronomy Tower," he laughed, "She is a tough old bird but she has...wow...brilliant taste in liquor. Bottle was probably worth more than our fucking heads. James got so drunk he threw up over the side of the Astronomy tower, it landed right in front of the potions professor, Slughorn, who was smoking a cigar. Got all over his trousers."

Ron and Harry laughed, Hermione tried to suppress a smile. Sirius looked elated at their laughter. "He looked up and saw James...and so we ran. But ha, running while drunk...it's not easy. And we were on the landing and Remus fell...James was...gone. And I picked Remus up…he was a scrawny thing" Sirius trailed off.

Ron took the bottle from Hermione and handed it to Sirius. Sirius took another long gulp, this time straight from the bottle, the glass long since forgotten. They passed the bottle around in silence for a bit, until Harry could feel the firewhiskey making his head a bit warm and watery and slightly heavier than usual. Ron was looking rather oddly at Hermione who was holding her liquor like a champ and didn't seem to be effected In the slightest. Ron's eyes were narrowed and he was staring at Sirius.

"What're you looking at Ronald?"

"What happened after you picked up whatshisname, the werewolf guy?" He was slurring his words just a bit.

Hermione scoffed, "Professor Lupin to you Ron!"

"Yeah! The Lupin! What happened at the end of the story...did you get erm...caugh-t?"

Sirius looked faraway, "No. We got away. We hunkered down in an empty storage… erm…in a...closet." He blushed if possible, a deeper red at the last word and Hermione put her hands over her mouth. She stared at Sirius, eyes wide and almost gleeful.

"And the professor never found you?" Harry asked.

Hermione laughed, "Oh my god. A closet."

Harry stared at her, "What's funny?"

Ron laughed too, "Hermione you've had too much."

Sirius was looking at Hermione with his eyes narrowed and Hermione ignored Ron, instead looking softly at back at Sirius, "Sirius, why didn't you TELL us?"

"How...how are you doing that? Wait how do you know?"

"Oh Sirius it's totally obvious the way you talk about him. I've read too many novels to not see this coming. That's why you've been avoiding talking about him."

Harry looked between Hermione and Sirius as Sirius put his head in his hands. Things were suddenly turning in a direction he didn't expect but his head was too full of water for him to figure out where it was going or why.

"Sirius, how long were you two together?"

Ron spluttered, "What?! Like gay together?!"

Sirius glared at Ron. And Harry finally put it all together, even with the fishtank of a head that the firewhiskey had given him.

"You and Professor Lupin were, together?"

Sirius nodded, with his head still in his hands, "Fuck. Yeah."

"Oh Sirius," Hermione said quietly, "that must have been so hard, losing him."

Sirius looked up and he wasn't crying but he looked completely lost, as if he couldn't remember how he got there. His eyes were red but whether it was from the booze or from the emotion, Harry couldn't tell. When he spoke his voice was suddenly clear, almost calm. "Yeah. I lost, everyone." He looked at Harry, "Your dad and your mum. I came to the house to give you a present, it was a little stuffed lion that roared when you pet its tummy. Remus picked it out for you. And the house…" his voice cracked, "I found them. And I knew that it was Peter. And for weeks I had wondered, if…I wondered if it had been Remus...and he wondered if it had been me. It was horrible. I loved him so much and I thought that, I suspected him. After promising that I'd never think less of him because of who he is. I started thinking there was something wrong with him, that they'd turned him. That he was betraying me...I mean us."

Hermione wiped a tear away and Ron stared into his lap but Harry couldn't look away from his godfather. This man had changed his entire life for the better, had been through so much, more than he ever imagined. Harry had considered what it must have been like for Sirius in Azkaban, how angry he must have been knowing that he was put away for a crime that he didn't commit. But he'd never thought, until now, how unbelievably painful it must have been, reliving the worst memories of his life over and over for years, especially when the worst memories of his life had been seeing the bodies of his friends, finding them dead after weeks of suspecting that his partner might have been the one betraying them. He tried to imagine finding Ron and Hermione, but just the thought seemed to tear his chest in half. And he looked at Sirius, with his long hair sticking out at odd angles from his ponytail, his limbs still too thin, his face too lined, and he realized he'd never known anyone with a stronger heart.

Now that Sirius had started talking, it was like he couldn't stop. He had started to cry, but it seemed that he hadn't even realized, the tears slid down his cheeks but he didn't wipe them away, "I couldn't go home. I had to find Peter, I was in a rage, I couldn't think of anything but hurting him. It was as if the whole rest of the world had fucking dimmed to nothing, all other emotions turned off. I remember handing you to Hagrid, Harry. I thought for sure he'd take you to Remus, to your other godfather. And then I found him and I didn't go for my wand, I wanted to squeeze the life out of him with my hands. Then he was gone and Remus' worst fears were confirmed. Everyone thought I'd killed your parents. He didn't even come to the trial. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"What's wrong with you? How was it your-" Harry didn't understand.

Sirius looked at Harry, "I should have just gone home. I should have taken you with me, let Dumbledore or the Ministry, or fucking Voldemort find Peter. I should have gone home to Remus and told him what happened. You could have had a different life, we all could have. Fuck. I...I'm so goddamn sorry."

Harry stood and put an arm around Sirius, who was really crying now. Hermione tapped Ron and led him out of the room. Harry didn't know what to say, it was kind of a lot to take in at once, but he knew that he didn't want to dwell on what could have been, Sirius still had a chance to be happy.

"We can still have a different life Sirius. We've already started to. You've given me a better home than I ever could have hoped for."

Sirius tried to smile.

"You have to talk to him Sirius. He's alone somewhere, and he shouldn't have to be alone anymore. None of us have to."

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know if it matters. Maybe start with 'Hi'. You're writing him in the morning." He paused, he wasn't any good at this kind of thing, "You can still make the choice to...you know, go home to him. Maybe he wants you to."

And in the morning, after cold pizza and coffee with three hungover teenagers, Sirius wrote Remus the first letter he had in more than twelve years.

Dear Moony,

Hi. I waited a couple months to hear from you, but its pretty clear at this point that you're not going to make the first move. I'd make a joke here about how you always liked to be chased but I think you might not be in the mood? I bet you're looking all disapproving and Moony-ish right now. I was right, wasn't I?

Harry told me about you leaving the school, Dumbledore told me as well. He was quite put out about it, I think the old bat is just lazy, doesn't want to find a replacement. I wish you would have told me yourself. We didn't get a chance to speak at all, you were gone before I got away from Fudge. Can you believe that? A pardon from the Minister of Magic himself! My mother would be so proud. Actually I can tell you for sure she is not, Harry and I are living in Grimmauld Place again so I have to listen to her fucking portrait screaming about my traitorous nature anytime I want a bite in the kitchen. Not that I'll let anything get between me and food, but it is a bit unappetizing. It's just a temporary thing, until I can find a decent job and get us a bachelor flat somewhere less...covered in house elf heads and spiderwebs. You'd think it was the damn Taj Mahal the way that Harry talks about it though. I gather those Muggles treated him like utter shit but he doesn't like to talk about it much. I'm crap at this sort of thing, mostly because I just want to rage every time I think about it, but I guess we're managing.

Where are you? Are you coming back for Worm's trial?

I don't know if I should say anything about - I am so crap with feelings Moons, just write me back okay? It has been 12 years of us not talking, now I don't even know what the fuck to say but I'm bursting to say fucking something. Anything. Where are you? Why did you go?

-Padfoot