Cisco slumped against the wall, Caitlin's words ringing in his ears. She was talking to Harry. How? I've tried everything I can think of to transmit cellular signals between Earths, but the signals always get muddled because of the change in frequency… Caitlin was brilliant, but this was his area of expertise, not hers, and even he couldn't figure it out.

But more importantly, she was hiding something. She had run some kind of secret test on him, probably while he'd been sleeping in the med bay. She had mentioned contacting Harry before, so the fact that she had done it without telling him meant that she didn't want him to know about whatever Harry was helping with.

More importantly than that- Cisco had suspected Caitlin, and trusted her anyway, but it turned out she was up to something. Was Barry in on it, too? Were they conspiring against him? She always has an agenda, Reverb's voice said. Maybe Reverb knew what he was talking about.

He shook his head vigorously. Stop thinking like that. He went back to the bathroom and ran a comb through his hair, attempting to calm down, but he couldn't stop overanalyzing Caitlin's behavior from that whole evening. He had felt so comforted and safe with her there, but this new knowledge had poisoned everything. Is that why she'd been so adamant about staying with him- not because she was concerned, but so she could run secret tests and try to prove her hypotheses? She had probably swabbed his DNA off of that cup of water she'd been so insistent on, and she insisted on him eating probably so that she could run a blood test without him passing out. Or- maybe she had drugged him. He felt his stomach twist with dread. Was she just waiting for him to pass out so that she could lock him in the pipeline? He didn't feel loopy or anything, but if she'd wanted to sedate him, she would have used something slow-acting, so that he wouldn't suspect anything.

"Shut up," he said aloud, clenching his fists. This wasn't him; he didn't think like this. "Get out of my head, Reverb." Caitlin was right, it was just like the Ring, tainting his thoughts and deluding him. But he was right to be wary- she was clearly hiding something, and this wouldn't be the first time that she had lied about something to protect him. The whole team had at some point, himself included, but that didn't mean it was justified. She was withholding the truth about something that directly affected him, and that wasn't okay, because it wasn't her decision to make.

He pulled his hair back and stared at himself in the mirror. He shouldn't confront Caitlin about it yet, because if she didn't want to tell him before, nothing would have changed. And if he was wrong, he didn't want her to think that he was being paranoid. He needed to catch her in the act of something, so that his suspicions would be clearly justified. She had mentioned that she was running tests back at the lab, so she would have to go back at some point to check on them, so he could follow her then. Until then, he needed to act normal. Which should be easy, because lying to friends has become a pastime at S.T.A.R. Labs. We should all put it on our resumes under special skills. He pressed the thought down and walked slowly into his bedroom. He paused, listening, but all he could heard was the click-click of Caitlin typing. He took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door.

Caitlin was sitting on the couch, her long legs tucked primly underneath her, typing away at her laptop. She looked up when she heard the door opening and smiled.

"Hey," she said brightly.

"Hey." Cisco tried to keep his tone and expression neutral. He wandered over to the couch and sat down beside her. He expected her to hastily close her laptop or switch pages, but she was looking at Julian's journal article about the Philosopher's Stone. He decided to prod her to see how much she was willing to lie. "Who were you talking to?"

"What?" she asked distractedly.

"I heard you on the phone or something," he said casually.

"Just Barry," she said evenly. That was typical Caitlin. She chose a lie that was too generic to be refuted and that Barry might even verify, because it was normal-sounding enough. "Are you feeling tired at all?"

"No," he said, too defensively. "Why?"

Caitlin stopped typing. "Because," she said slowly, "you've been experiencing severe insomnia for weeks and you said you wanted to get some rest." She looked at him over the top of her computer screen and frowned. "You okay?"

Crap, she was on to him. He rubbed the side of his head, as if it were hurting still. It wasn't. "Yeah, I guess. Y'know, given the circumstances."

He must have been convincing, because her shoulders relaxed and she set her laptop down on the coffee table. "You should at least lay down," she advised. "You'll never fall asleep if you're not trying."

The thought was tempting, but he remembered what she said to Harry- "I'll call you after he's asleep." Which meant that she was planning on sticking around until then, and even though he wanted to give Caitlin the benefit of the doubt, he didn't want to make this little scheme any easier for her.

"I'm really wired, Cait," he said, which was the truth. "I took a pretty long nap and woke up at seven. I don't think I'm sleeping any time soon. If you want to go home, though-"

"No," she said, too quickly. "I don't mind being here with you, Cisco. Please don't think that I do." She paused. "Unless you want me to go?"

Did he? Yes, she was obviously up to something, and if she went to the lab he could follow her. Then again… there was a chance that whatever she was up to was benign and just out of concern for him. And after the last three days of anxiety and hallucinations and general freakiness, the only times he had felt safe was when Caitlin was there. If she left, maybe Reverb would show up again, or he'd start losing it and exploding things. He didn't want to find out.

He reached out and placed his hand over hers, just briefly. She squeezed his hand, and her soft touch against his hands made his heart skip a beat. He jerked his hand back sharply. Caitlin glanced at him quickly, clearly hurt.

"Sorry," he said hastily, trying to cover how flustered he felt. "I'm… kinda iffy about skin-to-skin contact right now. Because of Iris."

She bit her lip. "That's fair." She folded her hands in her lap and clasped them together. "You didn't answer my question."

"What?" he asked blankly. He had been so distracted by the way her touch made him feel that he had lost track of the conversation.

"Do you want me to go?"

Oh, that. "No, I don't. I really don't, actually. You're, uh, way better company than Reverb."

The corners of her eyes crinkled with a smile. "I would hope so."

There were a few beats of silence. No matter what anybody said about golden silence, this was… awkward. There was too much baggage right now to be able to enjoy mutual silence.

Thankfully, Caitlin broke it. "Hey, if you don't think you can sleep anyway, we haven't had a movie night in a while."

That was a great idea, actually. It gave him a reason to put off sleeping for another few hours, it would distract both of them, and it would create some sense of normality. Just the two of them, hanging out in his apartment, watching a movie. He needed to forget about everything for a little while, because if he didn't it would drive him to the edge.

"You're right. We should fix that right now." Cisco kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and reached for the TV remote. "What's that one where J-Law and Chris Pratt get stuck on a spaceship for ninety years? Or we could watch Lord of the Rings to celebrate your achievements in pop culture references."

"I think it's my turn to pick, actually." Caitlin snatched the remote out of his hand. Her fingers brushed against his and he felt the hairs on his fingers stand up. He crossed his arms against his chest so that their hands would stop accidentally touching.

"Who says it's your turn?" he demanded. Caitlin's movie choices bored him to tears, at best.

"Last movie night, we watched The Conjuring. Does that sound like something I would pick?"

"I only picked it because you're cute when you're scared," he teased, and instantly felt his face heat up. Freudian slip? It wasn't, it was a joke- Caitlin didn't get scared during movies, just commented on the bad special effects and scientific inaccuracies. But the cute part, that wasn't a joke. He just hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Luckily, Caitlin didn't notice, or didn't care. "You screamed eight times," she retorted, clicking buttons to navigate the screen to Netflix. "Anyway, I watch your movies all the time. Don't you trust my judgment?"

"In life-or-death situations? One hundred percent. On movie night? No way."

She frowned at him. "Just for that, we're watching a National Geographic documentary."

He curled into the corner of the couch as Caitlin flicked remote buttons to select some remarkably banal documentary. At least if he was listening to some white dude drone on about the Grand Canyon, he wouldn't have to worry about hearing Reverb.

It also meant that Caitlin was right next to him.

And that meant he was safe.

Caitlin barely paid attention to the documentary; after all, she'd seen it twice. Instead, she focused her attention on Cisco. Caitlin watched his face carefully to see if he looked like he was spacing out, but his eyes flickered back and forth every few seconds. He only lasted a few minutes before he got out his phone, tapping the screen idly- some dumb Japanese cat game. Once every few minutes, he would glance sideways at her, and she pretended not to notice, so that whatever anxieties were racing around in his head would stop. Eventually, he put his phone down, and rested his head on the arm of the couch. She watched his head droop forward and his muscles relaxed. His breathing was regular, shallow and even.

"Cisco?" she asked, quietly, but he didn't stir. He was out. Good. Even if he had managed a decent nap earlier- which she didn't believe -he had weeks of sleep to make up for, from the sound of it.

She stood up, slowly, so that she wouldn't wake him up, and picked up her briefcase, which laid on the coffee table. She found the phone- not hers, the one Harry had given to her, and that had some sort of external tech attached to it that made it look more like a Doctor Who prop. She walked quietly into the kitchen and dialed Harry's number- apparently on Earth-2, standard phone numbers had 12 digits.

After a few staticky rings, he picked up. "There you are, Snow," he said, his voice only slightly less gruff than usual. "What took you?"

"It wasn't that long," she said defensively. "I had to wait for Cisco to fall asleep. Frankly, it's a miracle that I got him to sleep at all, let alone in under an hour."

"Would've been faster if you drugged him."

"Harry!" she said angrily.

"I'm kidding, Snow. Somewhat. It doesn't matter. How's Ramon holding up?"

She paused. "I'm surprised you asked about that before asking me about the test results."

"You know I care about him," he said roughly, and she realized that she'd hurt his feelings.

"Sorry. He's not good, obviously, but I think he feels better when I'm here."

"I'm glad you came to that conclusion after letting him suffer by himself for days on end."

Caitlin felt her cheeks flush with anger at the accusation. She was trying her best to help Cisco and she didn't need to deal with this. She inhaled deeply, remembering that blunt criticism was Harry's way of disguising emotions. "Harry, if all you're going to give me is criticism, then I don't need your help. I'm trying my best."

There was a beat of silence. "Of course you are," he said, and his tone was softer. "How about those test results?"

"Still back at the lab. I haven't gotten a chance to look at them yet, I told you that earlier. I only called because you told me to call you as soon as Cisco was asleep."

"Right. I assume you haven't done an EEG yet?"

Caitlin breathed a sigh of exasperation. "I told you, I don't want to run tests on him without his permission."

"You did an EKG without his permission."

"That was a fairly standard procedure. This feels more invasive than that."

"How is monitoring his brain any more invasive than monitoring his heart?" The sound of his voice crackled; the signal wasn't very strong.

"It is, and you know it," she shot back.

"Snow," he said abruptly, and his tone made her fall silent. "Do you want to help him or not?"

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if I didn't."

"Then for the love of everything holy, do the EEG! We need to see exactly what his brain does while he's hallucinating."

"His hallucinations stopped a few hours ago."

"According to him."

"No, I can tell when it's happening. He gets really agitated and he usually talks back to the delusion." She folded her arms. "And you need to stop questioning my judgment, Harry. Besides, if I wanted to monitor his hallucinations, it would have to be while he was awake."

"Then tell him that you just need to run a scan, and that it's not a big deal-"

"-because nothing says 'not a big deal' like an invasive brain scan."

He sighed, frustrated. "Then tell him the truth."

"I thought we agreed that we weren't going to tell him until we have an actual theory, not just hunches."

"There was no we involved in that decision."

"I just don't want to scare him."

"He's not a child, Snow. He doesn't need you to shield him from reality."

"You haven't seen him lately," she argued. "Or at all, really, the last six months. He's different than he was when you were on this Earth. He's…" She glanced over at Cisco, curled up on the couch. "Unhappier." That was an understatement. "And the last few days just made it worse."

"I respect Ramon far too much to coddle him. I thought you felt the same way."

"I do," she said quickly. Did she? Of course she respected Cisco, of course she knew that he could handle himself, but she couldn't stop worrying about him. Cisco was usually the optimist, he of the sunny smiles and impeccably-timed wisecracks- even when he was feeling down, he always put a good spin on things. Then Dante died, and something inside of Cisco broke. And some things that are broken can't be fixed. Her Killer Frost episode had been all kinds of traumatizing for her, but what she remembered most clearly from that awful night was the look on Cisco's face when she had called him pathetic. Like he'd been punched, no, like she'd stabbed him, and twisted the knife in the wound. She knew that he didn't hold it against her, but she did. When he'd been so clearly not okay these last few days, and he'd asked for her help, she'd jumped to take care of him. That was how Caitlin dealt with guilt, by tidying up and trying to mend the things she'd broken.

"Still there, Snow?" Harry's voice cut through her thoughts. The sound of his voice was rough with bits of static.

"Yes," she said quickly.

"Are you going to go back to the lab and check on the EKG results?"

Her eyes drifted back to the couch. Cisco had turned over in his sleep, but aside from the even rise and fall of his chest, he was completely still. She didn't want to leave him, but if she was quick, she could probably get back before he woke up.

"Yeah," she said finally. "I'll let you know what I find out."

"Okay," he said. "And will you consider being honest with him?" His voice sounded weary, tired. Caitlin wished she could see his face and see what he was thinking.

"I'll think about it," she said, and then added firmly, "if he's feeling better tomorrow."

She heard him breathe a sigh. "Okay," he relented. "Only call me back if you see anything alarming on the test results; I'm having trouble hearing you on this thing. I think the signal is getting weaker. I'll have to take it apart to see what I can fix."

"I'll let you know," Caitlin said, and hung up before he could say anything else. She went back over to the couch and picked up her briefcase, tucking Harry's inter-dimensional cellular device safely inside. She glanced at Cisco, who was still aside from his slow breathing. He looked so young and vulnerable in his sleep. Harry was right, she needed to tell him the truth, and she would- she just wished that the truth didn't have to hurt him any more than he already was.

She picked up the white throw blanket hanging on the back of the couch and draped it over his body. "I'll be right back," she whispered, and walked quickly to the door.

"That'll be all, Mr. Ramon, thank you."

The detective walks away and I am left alone, shivering in the freezing January night. I look around the crowd of cops with notepads and medics carrying stretcher and- my stomach lurches when I see two medics hauling a body back. I wonder who's in the bag- Tony from physics or Maeve from the bio lab? Or Hartley, or Dr. Wells, or Caitl-

"Cisco," a quiet voice says behind me, and I turn around.

Caitlin Snow is standing barefoot on the wet pavement. She's holding one broken high heel in her hand, who knows where she lost the other one. Her skin is paler than usual, and I can see the purple and blue webs of her veins beneath her eyes. Her face is dry, but her eyes are slightly bloodshot, like they've been open for too long. She has a cut on the side of her face, but the blood coagulated already.

"Hey, you," I say weakly. She doesn't smile. She doesn't frown either. She doesn't even look sad. Her face is blank- not stiff, like when she's guarding herself, just empty. Hollow.

"Did you get checked out by a medic yet?" she asks.

"No. Did you?"

"I don't need to. I'm fine."

She's definitely not fine by any standard. As for physical injury, I notice she's cradling her left wrist against her body, her hand hanging at a slightly awkward angle.

"How about that wrist?" I ask.

She glances at it. "Fine," she says brusquely. "You should go get checked out. You hit your head pretty hard."

I reach out and tap her wrist gently. She gasps in pain and jerks her wrist away.

"Fine, huh?"

Her eyes narrow. "Go find a medic, Ramon."

Hearing her use my last name stings, but I push that away. "Caitlin. I understand how you're feeling, but you need to take care of yourself."

"Please don't pretend to know how I feel." Her voice wavers and cracks. "You have no idea how I feel right now," she says through gritted teeth.

I feel my eyes tearing up. If I can just make it through this night, if we can just make it through this one night of hell then we can move on to tomorrow- but there's nothing to move on to. Several of our coworkers are dead, all the rest are injured, and the shining promise of S.T.A.R. Labs is smoldering to the ground. The dark night is lit by the glow of the still-not completely extinguished flames.

I take a step towards Caitlin. She doesn't move, so I take another step, and slowly place one arm around her shoulders. She stiffens under my touch, but doesn't move. I close my other arm around her and pull her to me. Her legs buckle beneath her and suddenly we're both on the ground. Caitlin is crying and I'm crying and I'm holding her and the world is spinning. She collapses against my body and her head drops into my lap. I run my hands through her soft brown hair, over and over and over. Her wracking sobs shake my body and I can feel her pain.

"Ronnie's gone," she chokes out, and I feel my chest constrict. Ronnie is gone forever. Because of me.

"I'm so sorry," I say, but my throat is tight and tears are running down my face. "I'm so sorry, Caitlin. I'm so, so sorry."

"Caitlin," he shouted frantically, and reached out for her, but she wasn't there. Cisco opened his eyes and his senses kicked in.

I'm on a couch. My couch. In my apartment.

It's 2016. That night was years ago.

Breathe.

He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He felt moisture on his fingers and realized that he had actually been crying. That dream was too vivid.

Except it wasn't a dream. He sat up abruptly. Aside from his one weird Reverb dream, this was the first dream-Vibe he'd had for weeks that wasn't about Dante. But there were similarities- it centered on someone he cared about, on a night of devastating loss.

He ripped his fingers through his hair, thinking. What did it mean? Reverb had tried to manipulate him into saving Dante- well, his brain had. Reverb was just a figment of his imagination. He had to remember that. The dreams about Dante were obviously a ramification of his guilt. Even though the particle-accelerator explosion would always be a devastating night, it was years ago, and the wounds it caused were largely healed.

Only- the Vibe hadn't been about Ronnie or anyone they'd lost that night- it had been completely focused on Caitlin.

What did that mean? It meant he was worried about Caitlin. Worried about losing her, which made sense, because she'd been the only thing keeping him together the last couple of days. But-

He lifted his head and looked around his apartment quickly. Caitlin was gone and so was her briefcase. She must have gone to the lab. He stood up and went into his bedroom to find his phone- it was 11:46. He'd slept for a couple hours at most, which meant that Caitlin couldn't have made much progress with whatever she was up to. He shoved his black Converse on and threw his coat on over the sweats he was wearing. He was reaching for his keys when he remembered that he didn't have to.

Open a breach.

He held out his hand and hesitated. He shouldn't be doing this, and without his gauntlets and his glasses-

They're a crutch. You don't need them.

He felt his hands charging up with energy and he took a deep breath, imagining the lab. He felt the energy race out of his fingertips and the atoms of the universe disintegrated, leaving a purplish-blue void. He stepped through, focusing on the lab still, not on Caitlin, not on Harry-

He felt a brief pulse of energy and for a split second, he could see the vortex around him- but then his feet were on solid ground and he was in the Cortex.

It was empty. The lights were all off except for in Caitlin's lab. He could see her, silhouetted by the single light in her lab, leaning over her desk. He heard her voice floating through the thin glass walls, but he couldn't make out the words. He walked quickly and pushed the glass door open.

She was holding something up to her ear- it looked like a phone, but it had all kinds of wires on the outside. She was staring at something on a screen, wavy black lines on a white background- maybe test results of some kind.

She didn't notice him, so he stood in the doorway. "I told you, I'm not doing an EEG!" she was saying, angrily. "Harry, I told you, I don't want to do anymore tests without his-" She broke off. Cisco tiptoed forward. "Well, why don't you just come here if you think I can't handle it?" She spat. "Of course I care about Cisco, how dare you-"

That was enough. Cisco cleared his throat loudly, and Caitlin jumped. Her eyes darted wildly to him and she froze.

"Harry," she said, her eyes wide, like a cornered animal. "I have to go." She hit the screen of the phone and placed it down on her desk. She stood up and turned to face him.

"Cisco," she said, not meeting his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He folded his arms. "I was about to ask you the same thing."