AN/ "Gift of Life" by TSFH is a song that fits this chapter if you wanna check it out

Chapter 133: Still Here

Namine wasn't entirely sure how long she sat there, and how long Riku lay there, before the nightmares hit. She was almost positive, though, that Riku hadn't been asleep for long. It was like the nightmares hit the moment he closed his eyes.

He thrashed about all through the first nightmare; tossing and turning and kicking as he tried to fight off an enemy only he could see. He fought off all her attempts to get him to lie still, and she eventually gave up. With the way he was struggling, it was a surprise she managed to avoid getting hurt.

She squeezed his hand and ran her fingers through his hair, hoping that her touch would calm him. She whispered soothing words to him, and silently wished his dream self would hurry up and kill whatever monster it was fighting already. Eventually, probably having worn himself out, Riku stopped moving. He lay there for a moment, his breath heavy, and then spoke:

"You still there?"

Namine stared at him. His eyes were still closed, and she briefly wondered if he was only talking in his sleep. Even so, she couldn't risk not answering him.

"Yes," she assured him. She was surprised she could speak around the lump that had formed in her throat. "Of course I'm still here."

Could he not feel her hand holding his? Had he not heard her when she spoke to calm him down? Maybe he assumed it had all been part of the dream. Maybe these things did not register to his dream self, and it was that who was questioning her presence. Of course. That must be it.

Or, at least, she told herself that's what it was. She didn't want to consider the other possibility: the possibility that he actually believed she wouldn't stay with him when he had asked her to.

The second nightmare began with him sitting up and screaming, though his eyes were still firmly shut and he was more than likely still asleep. Namine's heart stopped for a moment, stunned, and her breath caught in her throat. When she finally found her breath, Riku had stopped screaming and had retreated to the corner where his bed met the wall. He had pulled his hand away from hers in the process.

"Riku," she said, calmly.

Still caught in the depths of his nightmare, he replied:

"Stay away from me!"

Namine closed her eyes for a second. He didn't know who he was talking to.

"You're alright, Riku," she told him. "You're only dreaming."

He ignored her. He was muttering now, but she was too busy speaking over him to make out what he was saying.

"Nothing's going to hurt you, Riku. It's not real."

He clutched himself tighter, not moving from his curled up position in the corner.

"Riku, you're alright! Please calm down."

It was no use.

He wouldn't listen to her.

Now that she had paused, she could hear what he was muttering. He was muttering things like "stay away from me" and "I didn't do anything" over and over again, spaced by gasps of pain and growls of anger.

"Stay away from me."

"I didn't do anything."

Words she had heard before—in his memories. It didn't take much guessing to figure that Larxene was haunting this nightmare. Namine couldn't help but think that Larxene—if she was alive and knew about this—would be all-too-thrilled to know that she gave Riku nightmares.

"Riku, it's not real," Namine tried to say, but her words were drowned out as his body went rigid and he screamed again.

If she had any doubts that Larxene was haunting this nightmare, they were certainly gone now. Unsure of what exactly she needed to do to calm him down—as talking to him clearly wasn't working—Namine slowly climbed into Riku's bed and pulled him close to her, holding him tight in her arms.

"You're just dreaming," she told him, speaking into his ear so she could be heard over his screams. (It was a wonder the rest of the Castle couldn't hear him and hadn't come running to find out what was wrong. But then, sound was weird, here.) "It isn't real. You're safe, Riku. It'll stop. Any minute now."

It took longer than a few minutes, but he did finally calm down and settle on the edges of sleep again.

"Namine?" he mumbled.

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me…"

"I won't," she whispered.

She sat with him for a bit. He seemed perfectly at ease; his breathing was calm, and he made no noise or movements. She let out a long breath.

It's no wonder he never sleeps, she thought. If he has nightmares like this every time he does…

Is that why he asked me to stay here?

To calm his nightmares?

She tried to argue that, even if that was what he wanted, there was no way she actually was capable of keeping his sleep nightmare free. However, with him completely calm in her arms like this…

Even if I can calm his nightmares… I'm not sure if I'm comfortable holding him like this until he wakes up…

She slowly let go of him, and pulled herself away from him. He moaned in protest.

"I'm still here," she assured him, carefully dragging him away from the wall and into a more comfortable position. He didn't resist her, but the look on his face started looking more troubled than calm. "You'll be alright…" She took his hand in hers again, squeezing it tight.

He seemed to be comforted slightly by this, though the troubled look did not leave his face.

"Please don't have another nightmare," she whispered, stroking his hair with her free hand.

His subconscious—or whatever it was that controlled his dreams—didn't listen to her. The third nightmare didn't take long to hit, though it took Namine a few moments before she noticed it. Riku had started crying in response to whatever this nightmare was, but it wasn't until he let out a sob that Namine realized it.

"Shh… it's alright," she told him, doing her best to keep her voice even. It was hard to watch Riku cry. She laid her head down next to his on the bed, hoping the closeness would comfort him.

He was silent for a while—minus his sobs—but he mumbled something in his sleep. His voice was slurred from not being awake, and choked by his tears, but Namine still managed to make it out.

"I'm alone."

Her heart wrenched in her chest.

"You're not alone, Riku," she said, voice catching slightly.

"You… left me… Namine…"

She shook her head in defiance. "I never left you."

"So… you're still there…?"

"Yes, of course I am, Riku!" The words were hard to get out. She felt tears stinging on her cheeks. "I would never leave you. Why would I?"

"I thought—" His words were drowned by a sob.

"Shh," she squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm right here. That's where I'll always be. I'll—I'll never leave you, Riku, I promise." It was hard to speak. Her tears wouldn't stop. Why had she even said that?

It's not like that was a promise she could keep; not truly.

She found it didn't matter.

So what? She couldn't literally spend every moment by Riku's side. That didn't mean she couldn't be there when he needed her. That didn't mean she couldn't… spend forever with him.

If she… could have what she really wanted... she'd never leave Riku's side.

There was nowhere else she felt safer.

There was… nowhere else she felt happier.

"I swear, I will be with you forever," she whispered. Her heart pounded in her chest. "I'll be there to hold you when you cry. I'll be there when you can't be strong. I'll be there when you need me. I'll always be there. Always, Riku."

He let out a long breath. She pushed his hair out of his face. He seemed to have finally, properly, fallen asleep, and was sleeping peacefully—at least for the moment. Namine closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Despite that her heart was pounding with something she could mistake as nervousness if not excitement, a part of her still ached. Why would he expect her to leave? He'd asked her to stay. Why wouldn't she?

Why did he believe she'd leave him—when she said she wouldn't?

The thought was unbearable.

Why would he ever think that?

When had she ever given him reason not to trust her?

"Never," she breathed. "I said I would stay with you. I don't intend to change my mind."

It was funny; the words that would leave her mouth when he was sleeping. Had he been awake, she doubted she'd said half of what she'd said. Would she have told him she didn't intend to leave him? Of course. Would she have told him that she wished to spend forever with him? Doubtful.

She ran her fingers through his hair again.

He shifted slightly, groaning softly. Her brow creased with worry. Another nightmare? She wasn't sure if she could calm him down from a fourth one. Doing all this calming down was exhausting…

"It's alright," she whispered. "I'm still here. You—ah!"

The words caught in her throat as Riku sat up, his eyes flying open in shock. "Namine!" he cried, sounding somewhat terrified. She noticed his grip on her hand tightened.

"Hey, calm down," she told him. "I'm here. You're fine."

He turned to her, looking first worried, then relieved. "Oh good." He rubbed his head. "Sorry for… scaring you. I dreamt that—that you… that I-" He sighed and shook his head. "Doesn't matter. You're ali—alright."

She nodded, not seeing any point in arguing the matter.

The look he was giving her now was a curious one. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

She frowned. "I never left," she replied, slowly. "You asked me to stay with you."

He nodded, a bit groggily. "Right. I did do that." He rubbed his head again. "Forgot."

Namine stared at him a moment, wondering if he remembered anything that had happened since he first fell asleep. She then decided it didn't matter, and that she wasn't sure how to ask him about it even if it did. "You should go back to sleep," she told him.

He shrugged. "I think I've had enough sleep…" He made to get out of bed.

She placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from going any farther. "No," she insisted, gently. "You've gotten maybe five minutes of actual sleep in between the nightmares. Lie back down." She gently pushed him back onto the bed, though he really didn't resist her.

"You sure?" he asked. "I'm fine."

"You could use some proper sleep," she told him.

He slowly closed his eyes. "You gonna stay here?"

"Didn't plan on leaving."

He nodded.

"Get some sleep," she whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."