Guest: Thank you :-)
Ltfl: Me too, he's absolutely awful to Lily. I'm sure Iain will be.
Dancingwithmyshadow6: Thank you so much :-)
Chapter Seven
"Time of death, 1:43pm."
The words tasted horrid in her mouth. Lily stepped back from the bed belonging to the patient who had been gone far too soon. Now, the poor patient was dead.
Lily wasn't even sure why Connie had left her in charge. Apparently, Connie had tonnes of paperwork to catch up on, and didn't want to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. Elle had meetings all day, too, so it wasn't like she could be in charge. It was all down to Lily, Connie had said.
Connie had trusted her, hadn't she? She'd told Lily that she was more than capable but she'd already failed. It was probably a bad move on Connie's part to leave Lily in charge considering everything which had gone down, Lily thought miserably.
The place was packed, people weren't listening to her, patients were sleeping on beds in the corridor, and she'd gone and let a patient die. All under her watch.
"We did all that we could," Cal said as they both tore off their gloves. He was clearly trying to make Lily feel better, but unfortunately, it didn't seem to be working. "Don't blame yourself."
The words Cal had spoken had gone in one ear and out the other. Lily didn't believe him.
Lily had been hoping for such a good day. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cut at all, knowing that it wasn't the best way to deal with things. Her injuries hurt and although it made her feel good at the time, it certainly did not make herself feel good afterwards. She knew it was wrong, too, to hurt herself.
She felt guilty. Upset. Scared.
"Hey," Cal spoke again when Lily didn't and reached across to give her shoulder a comforting rub. "Can I do anything to help?"
Lily sighed, hands in her pockets, and glanced across at the deceased woman for one more time.
"Just inform her husband for me, please," she said in a small voice and made a quick excuse to leave. "I'm needed in cubicles. Doctor Munroe, would you assist me please?"
Alicia looked up and nodded at her mentor, quickly hurrying over to follow her out of resus. Lily stayed silent and pulled her mobile phone out of her pocket, staring down at it to see seventeen missed calls from Archie, and four text messages.
"Who's trying to get hold of you whilst you're at work?" Alicia teased her.
"Archie," Lily sighed, her eyes fixated on her phone screen.
She didn't have the time to talk to him, not when she was in charge and had so much to do. She tried to put his messages and missed calls to the back of her mind and just switched her phone to silent before putting it back in his pocket.
"Aren't you going to reply to him?" Alicia asked.
"Too much to do," Lily said, heading towards the entrance where Iain and Jez arrived with a patient. "I'll speak to him later. Iain, what have we got?"
"This is Tina Johnson," Iain said, gesturing to the fourteen-year-old girl on the bed. "She got into a fight at school, was unconscious for at least half an hour, she's had a ten of morphine and her stats are pretty low as well. She may have broken her arm."
"Get her into cubicles, let me have a look," Lily ordered. "Tina. My name is Doctor Chao, this is Doctor Munroe and we will be looking after you. Now, does your arm still hurt?"
"Yes," Tina hissed in pain. "Yes. I...I want my mum."
"The school have contacted her," Iain informed the young girl. "She's on her way."
"Okay, thank you Iain," Lily said to the paramedic, and began to examine Tina. "Okay Tina, that arm does seem to be broken so we're going to do an x-ray on that for you. I will also get something else for the pain."
Tina just nodded her head, tears streaming down her face.
"Hey, don't cry," Alicia nudged her arm, as Robyn entered the cubicle to help out. "I broke my arm at least six or seven times when I was a child."
"Why?" Lily frowned, shaking her head at the junior doctor.
"Well." Alicia shrugged her shoulders. "I was obviously just a clumsy child. I used to climb a lot of trees, just ended up falling the majority of the time."
"You?" Robyn laughed. "You're so girly! I can't imagine you as a tree climber."
"Right," Lily sighed, raising her eyebrows. "Robyn, could you get an x-ray organised for Tina please and also check at where her mum is at as well?"
Immediately after her words, the door swung open and a tall, brown haired woman entered the cubicle.
"Mum!" Tina yelled in tears, holding her good arm out for a hug.
"Tina! Please be careful." Lily said quickly, only to be ignored. She stepped aside so that Tina's mum could get to her daughter. "Mrs Johnson, your daughter is..." Lily went to say but was cut off before she could even continue to discuss Tina's progress.
"Why did I get a phone call from my daughter's school?" she screamed furiously, grasping her daughter tightly and protectively. "Explaining that my daughter had been carried away in an ambulance during English class? As a doctor, shouldn't you be informing me?"
"Robyn," Lily said calmly. "X-ray," she reminded her. "Also, could you try and find out if we have any more beds? Mr Reeves was admitted over two hours ago and he is still in the corridor."
"On it," Robyn said, leaving the cubicle in a hurry.
"So you have patients sleeping in corridors, do you?" Mrs Johnson carried on saying, letting go of Tina so she could shoot a horrible look at Lily. "That is not happening to my Tina! What kind of place are you running here? You know, I have been a healthcare assistant for twenty years and this is absolutely appalling! Patients sleeping on beds, doctors not even bothering to ring relatives by themselves."
"Mrs Johnson!" Lily shouted in a raised voice. "I'll have you know that everything is under control, and-"
"Do not talk to me like that!" She shouted back. "Tina, come on sweetheart, we're going home."
"Doctor Chao is only trying to help your daughter," Alicia said in a calm tone. "And in her defence, the school had rang you even before Tina was in our care. That isn't our fault, I'm afraid."
"I want to speak to someone higher up," Mrs Johnson said. "You're clearly incompetent and you're not even english."
"Excuse me?" Alicia spoke up, seeing as Lily had somehow frozen to the spot. "That's completely out of order."
"I am actually in charge today, Mrs Johnson," Lily said, her voice getting quieter and quieter.
"Not if I have anything to do with it," she hissed in her face. "I would like to speak to someone higher up. Where is the manager?"
"Doctor Munroe," Lily swallowed hard before taking a deep breath to stop herself from breaking down. "I shall go and get Mrs Beauchamp. Just stay with the patient."
Alicia nodded, hoping that Lily would be okay. Lily left with tears stinging her eyes, her hands shaking at her sides. She saw Cal and Ethan standing by the reception desk and they obviously saw her tears, as both of them strolled over to ask if she was okay.
"I'm fine," Lily managed to say in a trembly voice, holding a hand to her head. "I just need to go and get Mrs Beauchamp. There's this patient in cubicles, wanting to speak to someone higher up."
"But you're in charge today," Ethan pointed out.
"Fine, okay." Cal nodded, hands on hips. "She can speak to me. Why don't you go and have a break? You haven't had one all day and you look exhausted."
"I'm fine," Lily tried to tell him. "I just...I...I just can't breathe. A quick drink and I'll be fine, really."
"Lily," Ethan said, deciding to step in and help his friend. "Maybe you should take a break. Let Cal handle it, yeah? He's offered and, well, he doesn't do that very often."
Lily looked from Ethan to Cal, and reluctantly nodded. Cal gave her shoulder a gentle rub and Lily headed off to the staffroom. She slammed the door behind her and held her hands to her face, her chest tightening with every sob that escaped her mouth.
She slowly walked over to the counter and gripped the sides before pulling out one of the drawers. She hoped that they head teabags so she could make herself a cup of tea but that thought soon slipped her mind when she caught sight of the shiny knife sitting in there.
She picked the piece of cutlery up with a shaking hand and looked towards the door. She was alone. But no, she'd promised herself that she wouldn't do it again. However, it had made her feel better before. The pain had been a distraction from the constant pain that she'd been feeling every day.
She held the knife to her wrist and took a deep breath before slicing straight across her skin. She gasped in pain and dropped the knife as blood escaped her wound. She began to cry harder and slowly crouched down to pick the knife up, slamming it back down on the counter in frustration.
She allowed her tears to fall and made her way over to the sofa so that she could sit down. She clutched her bleeding wrist in agony, her mind focused on the pain that she was feeling from the cut.
"I'm such a screw up!" She screamed to herself and kicked the coffee table in front of her.
She suddenly heard the sound of Connie's voice, getting closer and closer to the staffroom, and she quickly rolled her sleeve down and wiped away her tears. The door opened and Connie popped her head round.
"Doctor Chao," she said. "Is everything okay?"
Lily nodded quickly. "Fine, Mrs Beauchamp. I...I'm just having a break."
"Doctor Hardy and Doctor Knight told me that you couldn't breathe," Connie said. "And that a patient was shouting."
"I...I was handling it," Lily said, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear. "They didn't need to worry about me."
"Have you been crying?" Connie questioned her.
"No," Lily lied, shaking her head at the clinical lead. "I'm okay."
Connie sighed, running a hand through her hair and exiting the room, leaving Lily all alone with her thoughts.
So I hope you enjoyed the chapter. There will be loads more to come. I haven't got much planned for the weekend so I'm hoping that I get to update a bit more, unless I get distracted, which will most likely happen :-) x