Melody and Steve's rooms were placed right next to each other. Sam never left Steve's room and Clint never left Melody's. Of course they called Tony, and at first he was livid that they would put his daughter in such a reckless situation, but he knew that fighting was something Melody wouldn't have wanted. Tony did call in favors of every doctor he knew to get the two better as fast as possible, and Clint didn't argue with that one.
Clint then told the doctors what she had found and they immediately took blood samples and began to test it. They then worked on a cure to reverse her symptoms, developing and injecting her with one before she even woke up.
Clint and Tony were currently passed out on each other from exhaustion. There were guards and Happy outside both rooms so you know no one was getting in without a badge. Melody began to stir, the first bit of activity she had since she was emitted.
When her eyes finally opened, she turned to see the two leaning on each other, Clint curling into Tony's shoulder as Tony's mouth was wide open with snores. A big smile spread on her face as the sight warmed her heart. "Well," she whispered out. It was loud enough to wake Clint out of his light sleep. As he picked his head up, Tony began to wake up at the feeling of Clint's head no longer under his. Both of their eyes widened when she realized she was awake, straightening up. "If it isn't two of my favorite boys."
The two had never gotten out of their seats so fast, Clint making it to her just before Tony. "How are you feeling?"
Melody looked over at him like he was an idiot finding that question a little dumb. "Well, as if I wasn't already dying, I also got shot three times and broke my cheek bone so I'm feeling fantastic, what about you?"
"Can you not be an asshole for five seconds?" Clint pleaded.
"Are you kidding?" She laughed, pointing over at Tony. "This man raised me."
"PS," Clint spoke in a thought, realizing she didn't know what happened in the past week. Tony was currently trying to defend himself from what Melody had just said. "You're not dying anymore."
"Also, you're in trouble." Tony added.
"Wait," Melody paused, mulling that over. "What?"
"Yeah," Tony shrugged like it was no big deal. "We found a cure and you're good now, but you're still in trouble."
A slight smile passed over Melody's face at the excitement that she wasn't dying anymore, but she then remembered she was in trouble with Tony. "Why am I in trouble? What did I do? I just woke up."
"Because you didn't tell me you were dying and I could have gotten you better a lot quicker."
"Wait," Melody began to frown. "So, they found a cure…does that mean they could have cured my dad?"
Clint and Tony both went stiff, Tony deciding to sit down next to her on the bed, Clint moving aside so he could do so. "Melody, honey," Tony began. "They didn't know what was going on with your dad, but when they knew it was an effect of the super soldier serum, they were able to work from that and find something."
"You'll actually be just as strong as Steve now." Clint told her with a slight smile.
Melody put her head down, thinking. "So my dad got this from Bucky and I got this from my dad, so," she looked up at Clint that time, "what's gonna happen when I have children?"
"They're going to get the same cure as you." Tony informed, massaging her leg a little.
Melody let out a dark laugh while shaking her head. "So my family will always be passing down the freak gene."
"Hey," Clint spoke, sitting down right next to her, Tony continuing to massage her leg. Clint wouldn't mind their children having the "freak gene". He thought it would be kind of cool. "That 'freak gene' saved your life."
"Melody," Tony spoke, knowing he had to get back down to business. There was still a criminal on the loose. Melody looked to him, waiting for what he had to say, but Tony began to second guess himself. He didn't want to call the man who saved his daughter a criminal. "Was Bucky the one that pulled you and Steve out of the water?"
"Yeah." She spoke it slowly, not sure how he knew that.
"He kind of fell off the face of the earth." Clint included. Melody turned her head to the side. She guessed she didn't expect any different, but at the same time, it was kind of disappointing. "Did he say anything?"
Melody looked down, thinking about her father's death video playing in her head again and again. That man may have saved her life, but he also killed her father. Her whole family to be exact. That's when Melody looked up at Tony, realizing he didn't know. There was no way anyone was going to tell him. Should she tell him? If she did tell him, a whole war would break out between the group. She looked back down, deciding to keep it to herself, but she did know one thing. Even if Bucky was her grandfather, he killed her whole family, and she wasn't sure if that was something she could just let go. "No." She finally spoke while rigorously shaking her head. "He didn't say anything."
They both looked at her while nodding, knowing she needed all the rest she could get. "Is Steve up yet?" She questioned. No offense to the other two, she loved them, but she wanted to talk to the one man that knew exactly what she was going through at the moment.
"He beat you by a day." Clint spoke with a shrug.
"I'll go talk to him."
Melody tried to get out of the bed, but the two immediately moved their hands in front of her so she wouldn't get up. "Are you crazy?" Clint questioned. "You just woke up from a slight coma."
"Slight coma?" Melody questioned.
Clint looked to Tony, confused. "What else do you call it?"
"Unconsciousness." Tony spoke loudly and obviously.
"Yeah, but that doesn't sound as cool."
Tony gave Clint a dramatic eye roll as Melody pushed past the two. "I'm sure I'll be fine."
Melody grabbed the stand that was holding her IV bag and began to roll it out the door. When she opened the door, she was greeted with Happy personally guarding the door himself. She got a big smile on her face from that. "Hey, Happy."
"What are you doing walking? You should be in bed."
"I'll take my chances." She whispered, pushing him out of the way, Clint and Tony following closely behind her.
When she looked back, she had to roll her eyes at the two. It was just going to get worse from here with her recovery. She quickly slipped into Steve's room and closed the door after her, smiling once she saw him with his leg propped up. "Wow," Steve scoffed. "You look terrible."
"Yeah," Melody laughed out at him. "So do you Captain Broken Leg."
Sam began to laugh as he stood up from his seat. "I'll give you two a minute to taunt each other."
When Sam got to Melody, he made sure to lean in and give her a long hug. "I'm glad you're okay." He whispered to her.
"You too, Sam."
He slowly slipped out the door, Melody moving to go to Steve's side as fast as she could walk, Steve making sure to move things off the side of the bed so she could sit down comfortably. "We did it." Steve whispered to her.
Melody nodded, her face going cold. "Yeah, but what did we really get from it?"
"We stopped HYDRA." Steve told her obviously.
That's when Melody sat up, looking at him as the arm draped around her shoulder fell. "You really think of all HYDRA was there? That they don't have more?"
A concerned smile pulled at Steve's lips as he began to stroke her hair. "We're going to get them."
Melody shook her head, looking away from him with a deep sigh. "I don't know anymore, Steve."
Steve noticed she was doubting herself for the past few days, so he decided what she needed more than anything right now was a pep talk. "You know what we did?" Melody turned to look back at him, having hope in her eyes that he would make her feel better. "We became infinite. Like you said, we took out a huge portion and HYDRA knows now that we're not going to stop. And we're…" Steve was struggling to come up with a word, that's when Melody knew she had to step in.
"Evergreen." She finished for him, he turned his head at the use of that word. "You know how leaves maintain green all year round, we've maintained our morals. And we took down HYDRA with that."
Steve's smile grew as big as he could manage it. "Yeah." He nodded as Melody snuggled back into his side and laid her head on his should. "We're evergreen."
Melody and Clint's apartment felt foreign to them. It felt like years since they had been here. Lucky was the first thing to greet them, Melody kneeling down and giving him a large hug on his neck. That's when she began to cry. She began to cry about SHIELD, her father, her sickness, the fact that she had the super soldier serum running through her veins, the fact that she almost died. It had all hit her at once and Lucky sensed it, beginning to lick her face where the break was still healing.
Clint also sat down with her, finding all of his grief release too. He put his arm on Melody as she cried into Lucky's neck and Clint put his face in Melody's neck, crying along with her. He was grieving for SHIELD, the fear of losing Melody, that agonizing week not knowing if Melody was going to wake up from her coma or not. Walking into that apartment seemed to destroy them in under a minute.
Clint picked his head up, looking around at their apartment, remembering all the great times they had in there. He remembered baking holiday cookies with Melody on Christmas. He remembered the time they decided to move all the furniture and play Twister on a Tuesday night. He remembered when Melody got super drunk, thought she could fly and jumped off the counter, busting her face, and then Clint had to take care of her for the rest of the night. He remembered their fight when he told her mother she didn't want children. He remembered their makeup sex. He remembered moving in and being too lazy to unpack everything so they ate pizza on the floor…and they were completely content with that.
That apartment held great memories for them, but they knew they wouldn't be able to make anymore. This apartment had given them everything it had and so did Washington DC, but they just happened to get as much as they could out of both. There was nothing left for them anymore here. And that was okay. It was like when Melody knew she outgrew Malibu. There was nothing they could do about it and they were sad, but leaving was what was best for them.
As Clint looked around at their apartment, a small smile spread through his tears. He loved that place and he thanked it for every wonderful memory that happened there, but he knew just like Melody knew that it was time to head to upstate New York. And there, they would be with their kids and live a semi normal life. It would be quiet upstate, and as he looked at Melody, he began to smile even brighter. Anywhere was home with her.
Melody laid in bed, just looking up at the ceiling as Clint was knocked out next to her, light snores from both him and Lucky taking up the whole room. She just laid there. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't do anything. It was like she was paralyzed. Only one thought possessed her mind as she laid there. So, with a sigh, she got out of bed, making sure not to wake Clint before lightly closing the door behind her, Lucky about as bothered by it as Clint was.
Melody tip toed into the living room before pulling out her laptop and sitting in the middle of the couch. After putting in her password, she looked at the computer for a moment, getting all of her thoughts together and mentally preparing herself for a long night in front of a computer screen.
She opened up a Word document and looked at it for a moment. Maybe this was what it was all leading to with her. The way she would journal her feelings in documents. Maybe it was all leading to this one point and she took a moment thinking of that before her fingers went flying across the keyboard.
For hours, Melody methodically typed until her fingers began to hurt. It all just came pouring out, words she never dared to speak out loud. All the struggles she had felt in the past few years and every bit of emotion she never voiced. And she couldn't stop. Her fingers did the work before she even knew what work she was doing. By the time morning came, she was done.
She had to look at it for a few moments, taking in the fact that she was done. She constantly ran her thoughts through her mind, checking to see if she missed anything. Well, she guessed that's what drafting was for.
As she continued to look at the screen, the door to their bedroom and Lucky came bounding out the door. Melody looked to him as he jumped on the couch and began to scratch his ear. She heard Clint's feet come padding through the wood flooring, making her smile. Clint automatically moved to the coffee pot, making the pot before turning back to Melody. He couldn't function if he didn't at least have the smell of coffee. "How long have you been up?"
Melody looked over at him, her face slightly guilty. "All night."
Clint's eyes widened just a little bit. As much as he could manage early in the morning. "What happened? Nightmares?"
"No." Melody whispered, looking back to her computer. "I just thought of something."
Clint slowly walked up to her before sitting down cautiously. She was acting so out of it. Almost like she was possessed. "What?"
Melody took a sigh before shutting the laptop and turning to look at Clint and handing him the laptop. He looked into her eyes before taking the laptop from her and opening it up. "I think I've always been working on this." Clint typed in the password and the Word document was the first thing to show up. "I mean it started out as just journaling, but last night it kind of all just clicked." Clint began to scroll through it, realizing just how long it was. "Things between us have never been easy," Clint looked back to her, fear running through his body. "I mean we've always had problems, but we've always worked them out. And I think I figured out why. And I just wrote it out."
Clint let out a tiny chuckle before looking back to it. "'Just wrote it out'" he quoted, the chuckle still at the bottom of his throat. "Melody, this is over two hundred pages." That's when he looked to her, their eyes locking instantly, Clint's and bewilderment and Melody's in a knowing. "You wrote a book."
"Trust me," Melody scoffed out. "That was not my intention. I was just trying to get my thoughts out and understand what was going on, but that kind of came out." He looked back to her, a small, shy smile on her face. "And it would mean a lot to me if you read it."
Clint smiled right back, grabbing her hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "You better pour me a cup of coffee."
Melody laughed, getting up and giving him a kiss on the top of his head before doing as he said. When she gave him the cup of coffee, she told him she was going to see Pepper and he asked her to take Lucky. If he was going to sit down and read this thing, he didn't want any distractions what so ever. So, once they were both gone, he took a large sip of coffee before starting out.
How to Love and How to be an Emotionally Damaged Person
INTRODUCTION
When I started writing this, it was something completely different. I was writing it about my love. It was small journal entries about little things I noticed of an emotionally damaged man. But as I wrote (and events revealed themselves during the process) I learned that he wasn't the only one emotionally damaged. I was too.
The real truth is that no one admits they're emotionally damaged because no one notices that about themselves. People are so quick to point it out in others, but they never look inward. The strange part is that they can spot someone who is emotionally damaged right off the back. Like me.
It's not easy being emotionally damaged, and it's not easy loving someone who is. It paralyzes your whole life, and I'm pretty sure the emotional damage in me is responsible for postponing our marriage. Put my partner and I's condition together, you might as well throw in the towel. But not us. We make it work.
Trust me, our relationship is anything but easy. It's the hardest thing I've done in my life, but worth it. So, so worth it. It's worth it because it's also the easiest thing in my life. It's the way we fit together when we lie down in bed. The way our hands just naturally attract like magnets. How in synch we are with our movements around the house. That's how it's easy.
But it's hard. It's so hard. When we bottle up our emotions until we burst. When we talk about something and end up in an argument because our emotions took control. When one of us bursts into tears and we have to hold each other, wanting to help, but having no idea how so we just hug each other so tight in hopes to push us back together. The nightmares. The nightmares have to be the worst part. One of us will wake up screaming bloody murder while the other just holds the dreamer, wishing we could stop it, but as much as we wish there was, there's no switch. So we just sit there, wanting to take it all away and make them happy again until the screams stop and we ease each other to sleep.
Being emotionally damaged is something you can't change. I wish I could. I really wish I could tell you there's some magical pill out there you can just swallow and everything will be all right. Back to scheduled programming. You could close this book and put it back on the shelf without giving it another thought. But there isn't. You can't change yourself and you can't change your partner. Life's given you scars and unfortunately, those scars are permanent.
If you learn one thing from this, I want it to be that you can't cover up your or your partner's scars. You wear them proudly. Anyone who thinks otherwise about the scars doesn't deserve your time or love. Don't be embarrassed and don't make others feel that. That's something we all have to live with. A scar on our soul that hurts a lot more than a scar on your body. The scars on your body heal, it's the ones on your soul that don't. But I do know one thing about those scars. If you've survived this far, you can do anything.
And Clint read the whole thing. He couldn't put it down. He read as he fished for the laptop charger and plugged it in. He read as he poured himself another cup of coffee and made a sandwich.
He read until he was sure he was no longer able to see straight, and just as he was finishing up, Melody walked in. "Stop." Clint spoke, throwing his hand up, shoulders hunched over the screen as Melody just stood in the doorway. "I'm almost done."
Melody didn't know what to do so she just continued to stand in the doorway with Lucky performing an antsy dance of wanting to greet his dad. With a deep breath, Clint shut the laptop and Melody didn't dare hold Lucky anymore, letting him bolt. Melody began to walk towards him, his eyes not falling off of her. He was giving Lucky the scratches he was asking for, but he just couldn't take his eyes off of Melody. She slowly sat down next to him, not sure what to say. "It was awful, wasn't it?"
Clint didn't waste any more time, moving Lucky out of the way and giving Melody a large hug. She hugged him back, not sure what else to do. "It's beautiful." Clint whispered to her before pulling apart to look at the laptop. "Do you understand how many lives you could affect with this?"
Melody laughed a little. "I can't publish that. Are you kidding?"
"Melody," Clint sighed while looking at it. "At this point, I don't think you really have a choice."
Melody took a deep sigh before looking back to the laptop. Did he know what happened when heiresses published books? They become ridiculed and no one reads it because why the hell would they want to read the "thoughts" of a dumb heiresses who has no idea how the real world works. That's if she even wrote it.
She then got a thought. She would publish it under one condition. "I can publish it as anonymous, right? You can still do that?"
Clint sighed as he looked back to it. "Yeah, you're gonna have to get a lot of NDAs ready though. One for a publisher, an editor…" Clint trailed off, not really sure what all went into getting a book published.
Melody then gave him another nervous glance. "You really thought it was that good?"
Clint gave her a smile before pushing his face to hers. "So good that I'm about to call your lawyer for you."
"Yes, sir." She mocked saluted, Clint pulling her in for a passionate kiss before she broke away with a little happy dance before rushing to the phone. Clint watched her as she excitedly talked on the phone, knowing this would be good for her.
Melody and Clint walked up to Steve and Sam as they stood in front of Fury's headstone. "Why's this thing still up?" She asked in an annoyed voice. "Isn't it kind of irrelevant now?"
"Are you seriously asking why it's still up?" Clint scoffed. "Fury's a drama queen. It's probably gonna be up until he actually kicks it."
"You do know I'm right behind you, don't you?"
Melody and Clint looked to each other, normally knowing they would be freaked out if this happened, but there was nothing Fury could really do to them anymore. "You're not my boss anymore, sir."
Nick sighed before giving a slight shrug. "You do have a point."
Emily then walked up, joining the group with Rhodey holding her hand as the two walked up. Emily's headstone was right next to Nick's. "So, you've experienced this sort of thing before?" Emily asked Steve.
"You get used to it." He told them with a shrug. Melody looked over at her mother's headstone, feeling a quiver down her back as she looked at it. She didn't want to go through that ever again.
"We've been datamining HYDRA's files." Nick spoke, everyone turning back to him. "And it looks like a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship."
"We're headed to Europe tonight." She spoke as she looked around at the group, knowing having any of them there would be extra helpful. "We wanted to ask if any of you wanted to come."
"There's something I gotta do first." Steve spoke with a little shrug.
"And we're," Clint began while placing an arm around Melody's shoulders, "going to take a long break from SHIELD and HYDRA and everything of that nature."
Melody nodded, a small smile growing on her face. "Maybe I'll write a book."
Clint rolled his eyes at her as Emily just shook her head at her daughter's goofiness. "What about you Wilson?" Fury asked. "We could use a man with your abilities."
"I'm more of a soldier than a spy." Sam spoke instantly.
Fury nodded his head, accepting his loses, trying to accept the fact that three of his best agents were just going to be gone. He had to get used to the fact that he didn't really have agents anymore either. SHIELD wasn't his anymore. He was just a man now, and that was something he and Emily had to get used to. "Alright." He finally spoke.
They all moved forward, taking time to shake each other their hands. When Emily got to Melody, she looked to her daughter with such regret. She really wished SHIELD would have survived long enough for her daughter to command something, but she was already proud of her, and that was enough for Emily.
"If anyone asks for us," Fury spoke, looking to them all individually before continuing, "tell them they can find me right here." Then the three walked side by side to the exit of the graveyard.
"You should be honored." They all turned to look at Natasha, giving her a smile. "That's about as close he gets to saying thank you."
"Not going with him?" Clint asked, his eyebrows going up in shock.
She rolled her eyes at her big brother. "No, Clint. I'm free as a bird just like you."
Clint shook his head as he looked away. "But you're not staying here." Melody spoke, knowing she was going to miss her best friend, but they would be together again. It was impossible for them not to be.
"I blew all my covers. I got to go figure out a new one."
"That's gonna take a while." Steve included.
"I'm counting on it." She whispered out, she then focused in on Steve. "That thing you asked for, I called in a few favors from Kiev." She pulled out a file, Melody growing stiff, knowing Steve wasn't going to stop. He was going to keep looking for Bucky even if it killed him, but Melody…she just couldn't do it. She knew he was blood, but he just wasn't family to her, not like he was to Steve. "Will you do me a favor?" Natasha actually sounded like she was pleading. "Call that nurse."
"She's not a nurse." Steve spoke through a smile.
"And you're not a SHIELD agent." Natasha fired right back.
Steve gave her a smile, finding that little sister bond in Natasha that Clint also found. "What was her name again?"
"Sharon." Melody answered for her, smiling a little bit at that.
"She's nice." Natasha added as the two girls shared a devious smile between each other. Natasha then leaned forward, giving Steve a light kiss on the cheek before whispering, "Be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread."
When Natasha pulled away from Steve, she didn't waste any time pulling Melody into a tight hug. Melody had gotten so use to Washington DC and Natasha and Steve, she wasn't sure what she was going to do without them. She didn't realize when this started that she was going to have to leave two homes in less than five years. "You know I'm gonna call you every day, right?" Melody broke away before giving her a big smile and nod.
Clint then walked over to Natasha, beginning to talk to her as Melody turned to Steve. That was going to be a hard one to leave too. "Where are you two going?"
"Upstate New York." Melody told him with a nod. "Somewhere quiet and uneventful."
Steve laughed before pulling her in for a tight hug. "You know I'm proud of you, right?"
Melody smiled, hugging him a little tighter. "Only if you know I'm proud of you."
When they pulled away, Steve gave her a small kiss on the cheek before she turned around to look at Clint. He reached out his hand for her, Melody finding that being the best gesture. For the first time, they were truly choosing each other. Not SHIELD, not Steve or Tony. Their relationship. Their little family. And Melody was happy that for once, she could be selfish and live her life like a normal person. That's all she wanted. A normal life with Clint, and she was finally going to be living it.
She took his hand and wrapped her right arm around Clint's as they walked off. Sure, they didn't exactly know what they were stepping into, but they didn't have to save the world for a while. They could just lie low. And maybe, their marriage would happen, maybe it wouldn't. They didn't really care anymore. As long as they had each other. Married or not. This was their turn and they were taking it.
And that's it for Melody Barnes: Evergreen. The next story is going to be the first season of Agent Carter called Melody Barnes: Best Mistake. Even if i was disappointed with the lack of reviews for this story, I love the way it turned out and I'm proud of myself for that. Thank you guys so much for the reads and those of you who have reviewed! Be on the look out for Melody Barnes: Best Mistake!