Dancingwithmyshadow6: Me too. Connie's usually good at suspecting :-)
chelsea: Aw, that means a lot to me. Thank you so much, and I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story. I hope you like the update.
MrsWhovian: Aw, you'll be pleased in this chapter. I hope it's worth the wait.
Ltfl: So am I :-)
Chapter Sixteen
"I just don't understand," Connie said, a puzzled look on her face, as she and Charlie entered the staffroom.
In her right hand, she held a key, a key that allowed her access to Lily's locker. Charlie walked alongside her reluctantly, still unsure as to whether searching the registrar's locker was a good idea. That was an invasion of privacy surely, but Connie had wanted to check for anything that she could possibly hurt herself with. If Lily had been continiously self harming, Connie didn't want to take any risks with her.
"Why Lily would feel the need to damage her body like this," she continued, as she found Lily's locker and opened it up. "She's never done anything like this before, Charlie."
"How do we know that though?" Charlie asked, leaning against the table with his arms crossed.
"What do you mean?" Connie frowned at him, and began rummaging through Lily's locker.
"Well, how old was Lily when she started here?" Charlie asked. "Twenty six? None of us knew her before then, did we? Does anyone know if she's had a history of self harm at all? It might be worth checking."
"I guess," Connie sighed, taking out a razor. "We can get rid of that for starters," she said, glaring at Charlie and handing it over to him. "I just...I don't know, Charlie. I'm trying to be okay about the whole thing, I'm trying to be nice but in all honesty, I don't get it. I mean, it's Lily."
"I know," Charlie agreed. "We'd feel like this, if it was any of our staff members. It's natural, Connie."
"What the hell's this?" Connie asked, as she felt something at the back of the locker.
"We've found the razor," Charlie said. "Maybe we should stop there."
"And be the reason for her slicing up her skin?" Connie scoffed. "I don't think so."
She pulled out a plastic bag and held it up for Charlie to look at as well. The whole thing was full of junk food, used for when Lily felt the need to purge. Seeing that caused Connie's stomach to flip. Sighing wordlessly to herself, she chucked the entire contents onto the table.
"Everyone likes to snack every once in a while," Charlie said, shrugging his shoulders. "That doesn't necessarily mean anything."
"She's been making herself throw up, Charlie," Connie said in a raised voice. "What's that tell you? She told me that she doesn't have an eating disorder. Well, I find that hard to believe now that the evidence is staring me straight in the face."
"Is there any progress with her?" Charlie asked. "I know you had a chat with her earlier. Did she say anything?"
"No progress," Connie answered. "Just constant denial."
"So what are you going to do?" He asked.
"I honestly don't know," Connie said. "I'm lost with what to do. I'm going to book her an appointment with Ben, but he can only do so much. Part of me thinks that I should call in some help from psych."
"Is she underweight at all?" Charlie asked, looking towards the pile of junk food on the table.
"No." Connie shook her head. "Well. She's lost a few pounds, but for someone of her height and age she's at a completely normal weight. It isn't as if she's starving herself though, is it? She may be skipping meals but she basically puts the weight on with the binge eating."
"But then she goes and throws it all back up again," Charlie sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.
Connie looked to the food on the table and quickly checked the time on her watch. "Could you do me a favour?" She asked. "Could you contact Ben for me and check if he has any appointments available for this afternoon?"
"And if Lily refuses to go?" Charlie asked. "You said yourself that she's just in constant denial at the moment?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Connie said.
Lily remained in the cubicle, alone, the glass of water still full and at the side of her bed. She chewed on her lip until it bled and stared straight ahead. She still couldn't breathe properly, no matter how hard she tried.
She scratched anxiously at her arms to try and distract herself but all she could think about was Connie and Charlie coming back. There wasn't anything wrong with her. Tears stung her eyes and she immediately clambered off of the bed and hurried out of the cubicle.
"Lily!" Elle shouted, noticing the sudden exit of the young doctor. "Lily!" She tried to call after her, dropping a load of papers in the process.
Iain glanced over his shoulder at the sound of Lily's name and spotted her exiting the ED.
"Elle," he said, placing a hand on the consultant's shoulder. "I'll go."
"Iain," Elle warned. "Mrs Beauchamp gave me strict instructions to..."
"I'll talk to her," Iain cut her off, leaving before she could say another word.
He saw Lily sitting on a bench outside. The hood of her jacket was up, even though it wasn't raining, and loose strands of her hair could be seen blowing in the breeze. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and she had her arms wrapped round them, her chin resting on the top. Iain smiled sympathetically, of course having no idea why Lily had even been in a cubicle to begin with, and he slowly made his way over with his hands in his pockets.
"Hey Chuckles," he greeted. "Mind if I join you?"
"I don't care," Lily mumbled, responding with a small shrug.
Iain patted her on the shoulder and sat down and said, "I've been worried about you all day. What's happened?"
Lily didn't say anything, and anxiously began to chew on her fingernails.
"Hey, Lils, you can tell me," he said. "Well, we haven't seen you all day. Elle tells me that you're with Mrs Beauchamp, and then you go running at full speed out of a cubicle. What's up?"
"You wouldn't care," she said.
"Uh-I would actually," Iain scoffed. "Why else would I have chosen to come after you? Come on, what's happened?"
"I...I don't want to talk about it," Lily said, her bottom lip trembling. "Doctor Gardner and...Mrs Beauchamp, they just caught me throwing up in the bathroom that's all." She sniffed and began to fiddle with the zip of her jacket.
"Okay..." Iain frowned at her in confusion. "So, are you not well? What's the problem?" Lily hesitated and diverted her eyes away from him, unable to make any contact at all with the paramedic. "Lily!" Iain raised his voice slightly, puzzled but also very concerned.
"I'm not sick, okay?" Lily yelled, balling her hands into fists in anger. "I...I did it to myself! I made myself puke, and now Mrs Beauchamp won't leave me alone."
Iain sighed wordlessly and shook his head, lips pursed. He'd accused Lily of having an eating disorder and here she was; starving herself, making herself throw up, and he wished more than anything that he'd noticed sooner and taken some form of action.
"She just wants to look after you," he whispered.
"She doesn't need to," Lily whispered back. "I can look after myself."
Iain glanced across at her and observed the way that she was sitting for a few seconds. "You didn't eat that sandwich, did you?" He pointed out. Lily looked up and held a hand to her head, shrugging slightly. "Lily," he sighed. "What have you been doing to yourself? What did Mrs Beauchamp say about it anyway?"
"Not a lot," Lily said in a choked up voice. "She...She's more concerned about...The um...The fact that I'm cutting."
"What?" His eyes widened.
"I'm sorry," Lily apologised and for the first time ever that day, she actually broke down and burst into tears. "I can't help it," she cried hysterically, shaking her head.
To Iain's surprise, she pulled her knees closer to her chest and rested her head against his shoulder, burying her face into his uniform whilst continuing to sob. Iain held back his own tears and placed a hand on hers, allowing her to completely soak his jacket with her tears.
He didn't speak at all. He just sat there, allowing Lily to cry and let everything out.
I hope you enjoyed the Lily and Iain scene :-) x