Chapter 7
We pulled up to Arkham Asylum with three black vans behind us filled with The Joker's men.
"Frost, fill them in on the plan. Luna and I are heading in." The Joker said not looking away from the front of the massive building.
"You sure boss? Will you two be okay alone?" Johnny asked, concerned. The Joker and I looked at each other and smiled.
"Oh yeah. We will be fine." The Joker replied. I giggled. "You're up doll." He said. I nodded and walked up to the guard shack. I turned on my innocent face and started shivering. A guard saw me and came outside and smiled.
"You lost?" The Guard asked. I laughed innocently.
"Oh no, my car broke down a few miles back that way. My phone is dead and I just need to call a cab. Any way I could use your phone in there?" I asked while I showed my cleavage a bit.
"Well, we really aren't supposed to." He said hesitantly. Another guard came out of door and stood there staring at me, smiling in a perverted way.
"Oh come on Tony, girl needs help. Can't we bend the rules just this one time?" the perv Guard asked. Tony shrugged and ushered for me to enter the shack. I looked to my right to let J know that he can get ready. I followed the guards inside and grabbed my pistols while they were turned around. I was usually a sword type of gal but J had a nice selection of firearms. I held the pistols at both of their heads and cocked each gun.
"Okay fellas. I just need the keys to the front gate. Think you can help me out?" I said smiling. The Joker entered the shack and came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"These guys giving you a hard time doll?" He asked as he kissed my neck.
"Eh, not too bad. They are pretty obidiant." I said smiling.
"You stupid bitch." One guard said with his hands in the air. I felt The Joker unwrap his hands and grab the pistol in my left hand.
"Well now that wasn't very nice." The Joker said before he pistol whipped the guard in the back of the head. The guard collapsed onto the ground. The other guard whimpered.
"The keys are in my right pocket. Just take them." He said with his hands still in the air. I grabbed the keys out of his pocket with my free hand.
"Thanks Tony, now get outta here." I said. The guard quickly ran out of the shack and down the road, losing his hat in the process. I knew the guys in the van wouldn't let him get far.
"Alright, plan?" I asked.
"Yeah, you go find the lead Guard on shift tonight. Get his keys and let everyone out. I will find Waller. I have some unfinished business with her." He growled. I nodded and followed him to the entrance. We came to the fork in the hallway and I nodded. He smacked my ass and grinned.
"Don't get your beautiful ass killed, got it?" he said smirking.
"Yes sir." I said winking at him. I started to prance down the hall to the left as he watched me. A guard came out from the corridor.
"Hey! How did you get in…." He started. I recognized him as one of the guards that beat the shit out of Harley for no good reason once. Without even stopping, I shot him in the chest and continued on. I heard The Joker snear and head down his direction. I headed to the main control room and kicked the door wide open. Three guards jumped up and pulled their pistols out.
"Which one of you is the lead guard on the night shift?" I asked.
"I am. How did you get in here?" the gruff guard spit out.
"That's not important. Listen, I need your keys. I gotta get some of my friends out." I said sweetly.
"Not gonna happen. Shoot her!" The Guard ordered. Before the obvious rookies could open fire, I jumped in the air and did a split kick and knocked them back on their asses. Their guns slid across the floor. I picked them up quickly while the lead guard started to charge me and I thrust my hand into his face. I heard a crack and he fell onto the floor. His nose was barely hanging on his face. The other two guards were cowarding in the corner.
I handcuffed them to the desk chair while they cried. I searched the knocked out guard for his ring of keys. I found them and proceeded to the cell hall. I whistled as I opened the steel door and danced inside. It was eerily quiet in the holding cells. I went to the control room and turned the key for the main operating table. I pressed the button to open all cells. I opened them and got on the intercom.
"Attention bad guys of Gotham! Luna Cee here. Want to have some fun?" I said. I went out into the cell hallway and waited. I saw someone coming out slowly.
"Selena Kyle? Wow, I haven't seen you in ages!" I said putting my hands on my hips.
"Luna? How did you pull this off?" She asked as she walked up to me.
"A little help was needed. He will be meeting us in the courtyard to get a head count." I said as I looked behind her to see the others coming out.
"He?" She asked puzzled.
"The Joker." I said grinning.
"The Joker? You teamed up with HIM?" She asked.
"Well, teamed up is one way to look at it." I said smiling.
"You're boning him? That's new. Whatever happened to him and Harley being inseperable?" She asked.
"Harley sold out. Which I won't lie, I did too at first. That Amanda Waller can be very convincing. But I came to my senses and joined the right side. Harley is into that Deadshot guy now anyway." I said shrugging.
"I see. Well, what do you need from us?" She asked. I saw some familiar faces come up to join the conversation. I saw Two-Face, The Riddler, Lex Luthor, Bane and Poison Ivy among the large groups of crazies.
"We are meeting J in the courtyard. Be ready to fight, the place will be overrun with guards. But we have to get through there to get to Belle Reve to get just the inmates out." I said.
"Why would we help that piece of shit? He has picked a fight with all of us here." Two-Face said angrily.
"Because. Aren't you sick of The Bat and Gotham PD always getting in the way? Why not combine forces and take them all down together? Those are better odds. J will play nice, I promise." I said smiling.
"What about Quinn? Where does she fit into all of this?" The Riddler asked.
"We already covered that Ed." Ivy snapped.
"Harley is out. She is working for Waller now. Granted it's not really voluntary but it doesn't matter." I said.
"So how does Harley Quinn feel about you tapping her puddin'?" Two-Face asked.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.
"Because that could get messy. Messy equals complicated. Complicated means problems." Lex said as a matter-o-factly.
"Don't worry about it. She has a new squeeze. It is mutual. Now back to business, are you all in?" I asked. They all nodded with hesitation. I led us to the courtyard and saw The Joker coming towards us with Frost and his crew behind him.
"Did you find Waller?" I asked.
"Bitch wasn't in there. She must have heard we were here and booked it." he said.
"Well did you look hard enough for her? She is crucial in this J. If you want this plan to work…"I said arguing.
"Uh boss?" Frost said.
"I DID look doll. Don't get an attitude with me. You don't want to see me when I get angry." He said gritting his teeth yet smiling.
"Well maybe if you had…" I said.
"BOSS!" Frost yelled.
"WHAT JOHNNY?!" The Joker yelled. He turned and saw Frost looking at the other end of the court yard. I turned and saw a sea of blue uniforms. There were at least fifty guards lined up. We had half of the man power. But it would be easy.
"Oooh look at that!" The Joker said as he laughed.
"Looks fun." Catwoman said.
"Just one of us has to make it to the other side. Get the prisoners out and then that will more than even the odds. Who is gonna make a break for it while we demolish these tin soldiers?" I asked.
"I'll go. You need people who are better at the whole kick punch stab thing." Lex said.
"Alright. Cover Lex and take out as many as you can." Johnny said. I put my pistol in my boot and J eyed me curiously.
"It's more fun to use your hands." I said as I winked at him. We charged at the crowd and collided with them head on. I was kicking, pulling, pushing and burning. After a while of taking out these thick headed guards, it became clear that there was too many of them. I noticed that Johnny and J were nowhere in sight. I started to look around to make sure they were okay. Then I looked up. I saw J and Frost on the top balcony, J with a grenade in his hand. I knew what was about to happen. J got on the intercom.
"Attention boys and girls! We are going to end this party with a little surprise. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARKHAM!" He laughed. He threw the grenade down and it landed about fifteen feet from me.
Myself and the others in our group started to run in every direction. The guards were too stupid and stood there in shock and some even tried to shoot at J. Before I could reach a safe place, the grenade went off. I was thrown into the air and into the concrete wall. My head was spinning and all I could see what smoke and body parts all around me. I tried to get up but there was a piece of wall on my leg. It took all of my energy to lift it off of my leg. My lip was busted open, I was gushing blood from my forehead and my shoulder was dislocated. I saw Ivy and Riddler coming towards me. I could barely make out what they were saying.
"Luna! Luna come on! We gotta go!" Riddler helped me up and I cried in pain from my shoulder.
He helped me limp to the entrance of Belle Reve. I couldn't believe him. Not Riddler, J. He risked my life to get into the prison. I felt like I could kill him. When we reached the inside of Belle Reve, there was already a crowd of mobsters in orange jumpsuits surrounding The Joker who was now giving a speech on stage in the prison auditorium. So far, I could tell that all of my people made it. Some of The Jokers guys didn't, but I didn't give a shit about them. Ivy tried to help me up to the back of the stage. I told her no and limped my way onto the stage. I was going to humiliate him in front of all of these thugs. If humiliation was even in his vocabulary. He turned to me and smiled.
"Ah! Speaking of! Here gentleman, is my new leading lady, Luna. Isn't she pretty?" He said. All of the prisoners cheered perverted whistles at me. "I am so glad you are okay baby doll. You had me worried for a minute there!" The Joker said as he walked towards me casually.
"Don't you baby doll me you bleached dirt bag!" I screamed.
"Now hang on dollface, I know you are upset…"He said gritting his teeth.
"UPSET?! You nearly got me killed! You nearly got all of our crew killed!" I growled.
"I know sugar but you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs!" He said in a laughing tone. I scoffed at him in disgust. "Come on, let me help ya…" He said reaching his arms out.
"NO. Don't touch me. I can take care of myself." I said as I cracked my shoulder back into place without flinching. I straightned my back and folded my arms. He inched towards me.
"She's pretty cute when she's mad huh fellas?" he said as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't touch me J." I said quietly as the prisoners cheered and whistled.
"Oh come on." He said as he tried to kiss me. I spit the blood that was pouring from my busted lip into his face. J licked the blood off of his mouth and growled. The crowd went silent and he released me. He got a crazy look in his eye.
"Okay now listen cupcake, you're testing me now." He said looking pissed.
"Oh am I?" I said. He nodded and I punched him square in the nose. Silver sparks flew everywhere around my hand. He doubled back and held his nose. The prisoners all awed in shock. I guess they had never seen a woman hit a man like that. Or sparks. J started to cackle that evil laugh of his.
"Okay love if you insist." He said. He backhanded me across the face, hard. I held my face for a moment and he laughed. I kicked him in the gut and he flew back a few feet and landed on his back. I saw Bane start to intervene and Catwoman tell him to let us go. The crowd cheered as we beat the living hell out of each other. I punched him in the stomach and he landed in the middle of the crowd. The crowd split to let him fall. He got up and I jumped on top of him and we were throwing punches and rolling around on the cold concrete. We ended up in the isolation cell hall somehow. The Joker punched me so hard, I landed in an isolation cell with steel walls and a tiny window in the door. He grabbed me by my shoulders and lifted me in the air and shoved me against the wall. He started choking me and laughed a high pitched laugh. He licked my face and I pulled his hand down. I elbowed him in the eye and he doubled back. I noticed the door was closed.
"Should we break this up? They are going to kill each other." Ivy said.
"Nah, he's pretty crazy about her. He won't hurt her too bad." Frost said. The Joker landed another forceful punch to my mouth. My blood splattered on the tiny window.
"Or he might." Frost said as he lightly laughed. The other inmates laughed and Ivy rolled her eyes. The Joker had me pinned against the cold cell wall with his forearm.
"Now listen dollface. I know you're upset. But do you think I would have had the element of surprise if the main fighter of the brawl started walking away randomly? NO. Why do you think I gave warning? If I didn't care, I would have just thrown the damn grenade." He growled. I shoved him away from me and wiped the blood off of my mouth.
"Uh huh. Let's just do this." I said as I opened the cell door. He followed and stood on a desk so everyone could hear him.
"Alright, back to it. Frost will fill you in on where you need to be when the rest of the explosions go down. Afterwards we are headed to my warehouse downtown." He said. "Any questions?"
One inmate hesitantly raised his hand.
"Uh yeah. What if we aren't interested in being a part of this plan?" He said. He was a bigger guy with tattoos all over him. The Joker put his hand to his lips as he contemplated.
"Hmm, well if you don't want to be apart of the mission then that's you're own decision! If anyone is interested in leaving, the door is that way!" He said smiling. The big guy and two others started towards the door. Joker looked at Johnny and I. We nodded and aimed our guns. We shot all three in the back of the neck.
"Okay, anyone else?" Frost asked. The Joker laughed and we proceeded to the vehicles in the front. The Joker tried to grab my hand and I blew him off.
"Oh come on doll. You can't be mad at me forever." He said.
"Watch me." I said as I walked in front of him. He grinned and sighed. I wasn't going to make it easy for him.