Ltfl: It was such a good film! Me too, they will soon find out the truth.

Chapter Eighteen

"I'll take the sofa, yeah?" Iain said, as he threw a pillow and duvet down onto the sofa in the living room. "And you can have my bed. You're the guest, it would be rude to let you sleep in here."

Lily faintly nodded and forced a smile. She tucked a strand of hair behind one ear and folded her arms across her chest, biting down on her lip anxiously. Her phone vibrated from her pocket and she glanced at it quickly to see a brand new message from Archie.

I can't believe that you're working AGAIN! Am I not good enough for you or something? I'll be at the ED tomorrow so we will be having strong words!

Lily took a deep breath and tried not to cry, as she pushed her phone back into her pocket. She didn't want Iain to know the things that he was saying to her, he was already suspicious.

"Is that Archie?" Iain asked, and she nodded at him. "What's he saying?"

"Not much," she whispered, and shrugged her shoulders. "Just saying that he hopes I have a good shift."

Iain nodded, even though he didn't look convinced. He finished off sorting out the sofa for her and walked over and gave her shoulder a comforting rub, his eyes diverting to her covered arms. He hadn't been able to take his eyes away from them since she'd told him about the cutting. He wanted to know how bad her cuts were, he wanted to know the real damage that she'd done.

"Right," he sighed heavily. "Well, I'm going to go and take a shower. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," Lily said. "Go and have your shower."

"Okay," he whispered. "Just make yourself comfortable and feel free to watch whatever you want on TV."

Lily smiled thankfully at him and went to sit down on the sofa. She rubbed her hands together and examined the room, anxiously wondering what Archie meant by 'we will be having strong words.' The thought of it made her feel physically sick.

"Hey Lily."

She turned towards the entrance of the living room and saw Gem standing there, eating a bowl of cereal. She smiled and Gem came and sat next to her, placing the bowl on the coffee table in front of them. The look of the soggy cereal made Lily's stomach churn, but she said nothing.

"Why are you staying here tonight then?" Gem questioned her.

"Iain invited me," Lily said.

"Well, there must have been a reason for that." Gem frowned. "I mean, you're not even sleeping in the same room together." When Lily said nothing, Gem continued. "Did something happen at work? I hardly saw you all day, Iain's been quiet, and then you turn up here."

"I don't want to talk about it, Gem," Lily whispered, tears pricking her eyes. "So I would appreciate it if you just left it there."

"Are you okay though?" Gem asked. "We all have bad days, Lily. It'll get better."

But in her heart, Lily knew that it wouldn't. To her, it felt as if it was only going to get worse.

She lay awake that night, tossing and turning and thinking about what Archie might do to her. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. She could hear the TV on in the living room and guessed that Iain was still awake, but she didn't want to disturb him. It was already half past eleven at night.

She sat up in bed and her stomach rumbled loudly. This was usually the sort of time where she'd search the kitchen for something to eat, before throwing it all up again afterwards, but how the hell was she supposed to do that when Iain was sleeping in the room next door?

She sat upright in bed and clenched her teeth together, frustratingly running her hands down her face. All she wanted was a decent nights sleep and she hadn't had that in ages. It had been such a crap day; everyone now knew how much of a screw up she was, Connie was trying to get counselling sessions for her sorted, Iain was worried sick about her, Archie was in another mood, and she felt physically and emotionally drained.

She removed the duvet and swung her legs round, crouching down on the floor in front of her handbag. She rummaged through it until she found one of her hairpins. Rolling up her sleeve, she jammed it into her skin, watching as it bled slightly. It wasn't sharp enough, her other wounds had bled so much more than that.

She chucked the hairpin to the floor, and held a hand to her mouth to try and quieten her sobs. She couldn't go into work tomorrow, she just couldn't.

"I'm not going!"

Gem flinched, as she heard Lily scream from the bedroom. She'd been in the kitchen having breakfast, when Iain had walked in and told her that Lily was refusing to go to work. He'd grabbed her a glass of water and nothing else before heading back to his room, and he hadn't returned since.

She knew that they were hiding something from her, everyone in the ED had suspected something. Lily had disappeared for a whole day, along with Connie, and now she didn't even want to go to work. It was completely out of character for her.

"What do you not understand?" Lily was crying hysterically now, completely out of control.

It scared Gem to hear Lily like that, and she wished that she could do something. Iain had told her to leave it though, and Lily clearly didn't want to talk.

"I can't, Iain!" She sobbed. "I don't want to go. Please!"

She heard the door slam and Iain soon came back into the kitchen, his mobile phone held out in front of him.

"What are you doing?" Gem asked her brother.

"Ringing Connie, what does it look like?" Iain spat.

"Well what's going on?" Gem asked with a mouthful of cereal. "This isn't like Lily."

"Tell me about it," Iain sighed, as he dialled Lily's number. "She's just...She's been struggling a lot lately, Gemma. Don't worry though, yeah? We're in the middle of getting her some help."

"Struggling how?" Gem asked. "Is she...Hurting herself or something?"

Iain sighed and wondered whether or not to tell Gem the truth. She was his sister at the end of the day.

"Just eat your breakfast," he said instead, his voice quiet and teary.

"She is, isn't she?" Gem said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I only found out yesterday," Iain hissed, holding the phone to his ear. "Just leave it, yeah? Lily doesn't do well at talking, so I don't even know why she's doing this to herself." Connie suddenly answered the phone at that point. "Mrs Beauchamp. It's Iain."

"Iain," Connie sighed. "I've just arrived at work so I can't talk for long. What's going on?"

"I'm kind of struggling to get Lily into work this morning," he whispered, glancing across at the closed door to the bedroom.

"What do you mean by struggling?" Connie asked. "Throw some clothes on her, drag her out of bed, get her into work. There's nothing hard about it, Iain. Look, I don't have time for this. I need her in work today because there is still a lot that we need to talk about. I have some stuff for her to do anyway."

"I know, I know," Iain said. "But it isn't easy, Mrs Beauchamp. She's screaming, she's throwing stuff, she's on the verge of a panic attack. I have tried my best and there isn't anything else that I can do."

"Try harder!" Connie yelled down the phone. "I'm sorry Iain, but I don't know what else to suggest. She can't stay home though, I really need to see her because of everything that went on yesterday."

"Okay," Iain sighed. "I'll try again. I'll text you when we're on our way, okay?"

"See you soon," Connie whispered, feeling bad for shouting. However, she couldn't have Lily refusing to go to work.

It took a while but Iain soon managed to convince Lily to get dressed and go into work. She didn't bother showering and she made him leave the room so that he couldn't see her injuries. She hadn't even dressed up either, just shoved on some sweats and converse, but she was dressed and ready for work and that was the main thing. Because of the mood that she was in though, he didn't even suggest breakfast, and he knew that he shouldn't be encouraging the starvation.

"I'll come and see you on your break, Gem," Iain said to his sister. "I just need to take Lily to see Mrs Beauchamp."

Gem faintly nodded and glanced at Lily, who remained silent with her head hung, before heading off. Iain wrapped an arm around Lily but she shoved him away, her chest tightening with every step that she took. What if Archie was already in the ED, lurking, waiting for her?

Everyone was staring at her when they walked in, of course not knowing the full details, but knowing enough. Lily hated it. She hated looking like the freak of the ED. Connie was in her office, but she seemed pleased to see Lily at Iain's side.

"So you managed then?" She asked Iain, who nodded. "Good. Come with me, Lily."

"When can I get to work?" Lily asked her.

"No, I don't want you working today," Connie said. "Have you eaten this morning?"

"So why am I here?" Lily asked, tears pricking her eyes. "I just wanted to stay in bed."

"Have you eaten this morning?" Connie repeated, in a stern voice that made Iain feel nervous, let alone Lily.

"Yes," she answered the clinical lead.

"Enough of the lies!" Iain shouted, Connie slowly turning to look at him. "You didn't eat a thing, Lily. I was there."

"I...I ate last night," Lily whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Enough of the waterworks," Connie said, walking over and opening the door to her office, a clipboard in her hands. "What's going on with you lately, huh? Iain was really concerned about you this morning. Has something happened?" Lily shook her head. "Okay. Well, I just want you to sit out here and do something for me."

Lily reluctantly followed Connie out of the office and sat down in the chair that was sitting outside against the wall.

"Ben gave me this for you to do," she said, handing the clipboard over to Lily, a few sheets of paper attached to it. "It's just a small self evaluation. I'd like you to complete it before we get you a proper diagnosis."

"Diagnosis?" Lily began to flick through the sheets of paper.

They were full of stupid questions, like 'do you ever feel depressed?' and 'how many hours of sleep would you say that you get a night?'

"But there isn't anything wrong with me," Lily said.

"Humour me," Connie said. "And I'm sorry, but I beg to differ. Self harm is serious, and isn't something that someone usually does when they've had a bad day. There's usually more to it. Take the test, and we will go from there. I'm going to be in my office today so just let me know when you've finished."

She handed Lily a pen and turned to Iain who was stood behind with his hands in his pockets.

"I know you're worried, but I really need you in work today," she said. "I'll take care of her. You have a job to do though."

"I know," Iain said. "Thanks Mrs Beauchamp. I'll see you later Lily, okay?" Lily nodded and chewed on the end of her pen, as Iain strolled off towards the ambulance bay.

"Come in when you've finished," Connie said, pushing the door open to her office, and leaving Lily sitting outside the office by herself.

Lily sighed wordlessly and ran a hand through her hair, before getting started on the first question.

That was probably my longest chapter yet. I hope it wasn't too long. I enjoyed writing it to be fair :-) x

Archie will be in the next chapter so look forward to seeing him (or not). He isn't a very nice man, haha.