xMissWhitneyBexx: Me too! Thank you so much and I hope your exams went well x
Ltfl: Let's hope so :-)
Chapter Twenty-Three
"You can sleep in Gemma's room, yeah?" Iain said to Lily, as they walked into Gem's bedroom.
Gem's bed was piled with clothes, and a neat looking campbed sat next to it. It was quite a small room and Lily just knew that it would be packed with her and Gem in there together, but she appreciated Iain's offer. Besides, she'd feel safe here.
It hadn't been the best of days. She hovered in the doorway of the bedroom with a bag of her things that she and Iain had just gone and collected from her flat, feeling sick at the thought of the those police arresting Archie for abuse.
"I'm going to be in the kitchen for a bit," Iain said, patting Lily's shoulder. "It's bin day tomorrow and I still haven't done the washing up from this morning yet either. But you make yourself comfortable in here and I'll leave Gem to help you get settled."
Lily nodded and went to sit down on the campbed, and Iain gestured for Gem to follow him.
"Look after her," he whispered in her ear.
"What?" Gem's eyes widened. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Just treat her like a normal person, maybe?" Iain said. "Watch her, help her unpack, talk to her. She's vulnerable at the moment Gem, you know what it's like to be in that situation don't you?"
"This is Tigerlily we're talking about here though," Gem said. "I don't know what to do, Iain."
"I've already told you," Iain hissed. "Look after her."
And with that, he headed off to the kitchen. Gem sighed and groaned to herself, before turning to go back into her bedroom. Lily remained seated on the bed, chewing on her sleeves in such an anxious manner that it made Gem feel almost scared of her.
"Um..." Gem shifted on the spot awkwardly, before perching next to Lily. "You okay?" She asked. "I'm sorry...About...Everything."
"Please do not feel sorry for me, Gemma," Lily whispered. "Isn't it bad enough that I've had the police in speaking to me today? I don't want anyone's pity."
"Sorry," Gem apologised. "I'm only trying to help. I guess I don't really know what to do in this kind of situation." She paused and signed wordlessly, eyeing Lily up and down to try and take in her facial expression. "When I was being abused by..."
"That isn't the same, Gem," Lily hissed through gritted teeth. "So don't you dare say that you know how I feel, because you don't."
"I'm sorry," Gem sighed and moodly crossed her arms over the chest. "I...I don't know what to say."
"Just stop apologising, because none of this is your fault," Lily said, running her hands down her face in frustration. "I just want to sleep and forget that today even happened."
The clock struck 1:30am. Gem groaned and rolled over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling with weary eyes. She yawned and checked the time on her phone before sitting upright in bed and rubbing at her eyes. She'd never been one to sleep through the night, and there were times when she would often wake up for a drink or the toilet. She thought it came from childhood; from the fear of sleeping in a dirt ridden house with her mother, from the fear of thinking that her brother was going to get killed in the army.
She glanced across at the campbed and saw that the duvet had been pushed onto the floor and that it was completely empty. She frowned and looked towards the door that remained shut.
"That's odd," she remarked.
She noticed that Lily's jacket had gone missing too, as well as her white trainers that she sometimes wore to work.
"Lily?" She whispered, swinging her legs round and shoving on her usual pair of trainers.
She stepped over the campbed and gripped the handle of the door, opening it ever so slightly until the sound of vomiting hit her. She gulped and tears stung her eyes, as she spotted that the bathroom light was on. She bit her lip and thought about getting Lily some water before barging straight in on her. She made her way across to the kitchen and noticed that someone had been rummaging through the cupboards. Empty crisp packets and chocolate bar wrappers covered the table.
Lily.
Gem gulped and decided that she needed to grab her brother instead. Iain was clearly still asleep in the room next door but she prayed that he wouldn't mind her disturbing him.
"Iain," she whispered, hurrying over and beginning to shake him awake. "Iain, I need your help."
"What?" He groaned, opening his eyes slightly. "Gemma, it's the middle of the night for crying out loud. Go back to sleep."
"I can't," Gem whined. "It's Lily! There's tonnes of junk food in the kitchen and she's in the bathroom being sick. I...I don't know what to do."
"You're kidding me," Iain muttered under his breath and immediately removed the covers. "Go back to bed, Gemma."
He slipped on some shoes and his favourite Batman dressing gown and rushed out of his room and towards the bathroom. Instead of going back to bed, Gem followed, even though she felt nervous on what they were about to walk in on.
Lily was knelt on the floor, her head bent over the toilet as she threw up everything that she'd just eaten. Iain rushed to her side straight away, but Gem hovered in the doorway with small tears in her eyes.
"Lily!" Iain yelled, gently stroking her hair out of her face. "Hey. What have you done? Come on, look at me princess."
"Go away," Lily sobbed, coughing and spluttering as Iain brought her in for a hug. "Get off!" She screamed, punching his chest at such a hard force that he did almost topple over backwards.
"No, no, no," Iain said calmly and patiently, his arms wrapped around her. "I'm not going anywhere." He looked up at Gem who was leaning against the wall, tears rolling down her cheeks. He gave her a small smile of sympathy and kissed the top of Lily's head. "Come on," he said. "I want to have a little chat with you. Come into the living room with me."
"I want to stay here," Lily sobbed into his pyjama shirt, her fingers gripped around the ends of his Batman dressing gown. "I've slept on the bathroom floor loads of times before."
Iain's heart broke when he heard her say that, and all he could do was nod. He couldn't quite believe that Archie was so awful that Lily often just lay on the floor of the bathroom after purging, slowly drifting off into a sleep. It hurt him, but also angered him.
"I know," he said gently. "But you'll be more comfortable."
He stood up and managed to lift a weak and sobbing Lily into his arms. Gem sniffed and stepped to one side, unable to control her tears anymore. He carried Lily into the living room and sat down on the sofa with her sitting across his lap, Gem following.
"Gemma, get her a glass of water or something," Iain said, as Lily attempted to pull away from him. "Lily, stop it. Come here." He held her on his lap and rubbed her back to try and stop her from hysterically sobbing.
"I'm a mess!" She wailed. "Please get off. I...I feel sick again."
"No, I'm not letting you do this to yourself," Iain said.
Lily just screamed and started to punch at his chest with her fists again. Iain winced in pain, surprised at how hard she could punch, but he said nothing. It was clear that Lily often became angry whenever she was upset or scared. It was almost two o'clock in the morning though and both him and Gem were on an early shift at the ED.
Gem walked back in and handed the glass of water to Iain, who immediately offered it to Lily. Gem perched herself on the arm of the sofa and watched as Lily continued to cry and shout, the smell of sick pouring off of her. Gem didn't understand binging but she wasn't going to question anything, especially in front of Lily.
"Just calm down," Iain said, setting the glass down on the coffee table. "Come on, calm down for me hmm?" He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and kept a tight grip on her arm, holding her steady on his lap. "What brought this on?"
"Shut up!" Lily screamed, making a grab for the glass. She needed something to throw out of rage, anything, even if it did break.
"Lily, no!" Iain grabbed the glass before she could and pushed it away from her. "Come on. Why did you do it, eh?"
"I had to," Lily sobbed. "I was so hungry, but I just felt so bad for eating it. I hate myself so much Iain, I can't do this anymore."
"Hey now," Iain soothed. "You are wonderful, and you have no reason to hate yourself. This binge eating though Lily, this cutting, it all needs to stop."
"I can't help it," Lily coughed. "Especially at night. I...I couldn't sleep, and it...It was all I could think about!"
"It's okay," Iain said kindly, looking across at his scared, little sister. "But how are we supposed to go back to sleep now? We're both too scared that you're going to do something again."
"You don't have to watch me," Lily cried. "Let me go." She attempted to clamber off of Iain's lap, but he was refusing to let her go. "I hate you!" She screamed.
"No you don't," Iain said, gently rubbing his thumb up and down Lily's arm as she buried her face into his dressing gown. "Hey, we're going to get you some help for this yeah? You'll be back to your old self in no time."
"I just want to be left alone," Lily said wearily, her eyes slowly drooping and her tears continuing to fall.
"Let's get you to bed," Iain said, patting her back and turning to address his sister. "You can stay with me tonight. I'll look after you."
"I hate you," Lily repeated herself, giving his chest another hard punch.
Iain held her close and rested his chin on her temple, gently rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down. He knew that she didn't mean it; she was scared, she was upset, and more than anything she was hungry. He hated Archie for what he'd done to her, and he hated the fact that she was now so broken and so out of character.
He wanted to help her, no matter how hard it was.
"I love you, Lily," he whispered, but over her hysterical cries of protest she didn't seem to hear him.
So I hope that was okay. It was a chapter that I had planned but it took me ages to write. Let me know what you think :-) x