Here we go. I can't write dialogue.

I'm too lazy to make a disclaimer, and you'd have to be pretty ridiculous to think I owned these guys apart from Clarity and their friends.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1 – The Visitor

Valkyrie laughed gleefully as her sister sprayed Tanith in the face. Seven years old, and she was a water fighting champion already. Alice was a wonderful little girl, she knew that; even before she'd returned to Ireland about a year ago. Her life was a lot brighter now that she'd found redemption. True, she'd never be truly free of the past, but that was her burden to bear.

"You're supposed to be on my side, traitor!" Tanith yelled when she saw Valkyrie laughing at her misfortune.

Valkyrie just grinned. "Doesn't stop me from-. Aah!"

Her dad had just tossed a water bomb at her. The cold water drenched her shirt, and plastered more of her hair to her scalp, making it get in her eyes so she couldn't see-.

"OH MY GOD!" she shrieked, as what may have well been enough water to fill a bathtub landed on her and Tanith. "SKULDUGGERY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Yay!" Alice cheered, jumping up and down. "We win! We win!"

"You're welcome," Skulduggery chuckled, as Alice performed her victory dance.

"No fair!" Tanith protested. "You weren't playing, so that didn't count!"

Skulduggery tilted his head; his way of smiling. "Alice seems to think otherwise."

"Skulduggery, can you dry me off, now?" Alice asked, looking up at the skeleton without the slightest hint of fear. "Please?"

"But of course." With a simple wave of Skulduggery's hand, Alice was completely dry.

"That's a handy talent for when you need to get to work in the morning," Desmond observed as he wrung out his shirt. Not all that much to his surprise, Skulduggery quickly dried it off for him.

"What about us?" Tanith demanded.

"What about you?" Skulduggery asked, his voice taking on a mischievous edge.

"Aren't you going to dry us off?"

"Don't you have towels for that?"

Valkyrie shook her head as Tanith fumed at the skeleton. She started for the front door, intending to dry herself off, when she realised that that had been done already. Looking at Skulduggery, she quirked an eyebrow in question.

"That was unusually generous of you," she said.

"You weren't complaining for once. I chose to reward you."

"You're ridiculous."

"Vally, I'm hungry," Alice said, tugging on Valkyrie's arm. She smiled at the little nickname that her sister had given her. "Can we go get something from the kitchen?"

"Sure, it's lunch time anyway. Dad, you coming?"

"What about your friends?"

"Skulduggery doesn't eat, and Tanith is too busy yelling at him."

"Fair enough."

Lunch was served, and the four 'Water Warriors', as Tanith had announced they now were, dug in eagerly. Melissa Edgely and Skulduggery just sat at the table and enjoyed the conversation.

Valkyrie enjoyed this part of her life. The mix of the mortals and the magical she had managed to bring together was comfortable and interesting at the same time. Her parents had come to accept that her life had taken a daring turn, and had in fact wanted to join her somewhat. Alice was just overjoyed that she got her own private look at the world of magic.

Ghastly came around at roughly one o'clock, finally finding some free time from his position as an Elder. Yes, he still did that, but he had managed to barter for extra time off as compensation for 'previous incidents'. He kissed Tanith, greeted Skulduggery and the others, then sat down and complained with Desmond about his job.

"So, Skulduggery," Ghastly said, leaning back in his chair. "Do you plan on visiting Clarity next week?"

"Hmm?" Skulduggery mumbled, raising his head.

"Who's Clarity?" Alice asked.

Ghastly continued, "Clarity's stopping by, didn't they tell you?"

"Oh, yes, they did. Must have slipped my mind."

"More like you were hoping I'd forget to ask, so you could sneak out of it."

"Hey."

Ghastly sighed. "When are you going to start acknowledging them properly?"

"Who's Clarity?" Alice asked again.

"Clarity is a relative of Skulduggery's," Ghastly explained.

"I never confirmed that," Skulduggery objected.

"They travel around the world quite a lot, so we don't get to see them very often."

Alice's eyes widened. "They've been all over the world?"

"More or less."

"That's so cool!"

"So where are they staying?" Valkyrie asked.

"Probably a campsite," Ghastly said. "They usually travel around with some friends."

"They can stay here, then. I don't mind."

"You sure? They can be a little… I don't know… odd. Even by our standards."

"Sure, the place is empty enough, anyway."

Ghastly and Skulduggery nodded. "We'll call them, and let them know," Ghastly said.

"We?" Skulduggery enquired.

"They're your responsibility."

"Hmm… fine, when you put it that way."

"So what's the issue with you and Clarity?" Valkyrie asked later, after everyone else had gone home. "In fact, who on earth are they?"

Skulduggery muttered something under his breath. "During the war, Serpine attempted to play God," he explained. "He created a cryptid; a creature with the essence of a werewolf, a vampire, and some other dangerous creatures; as a weapon of war. Not only did he use those creatures, he used my own blood, along with his to make it human enough to understand orders. It was also an attempt to spite me."

"So Clarity was the cryptid," Valkyrie concluded.

"Yes. Clarity Veil. However, they were apparently 'too human'. They weren't the perfect abomination Serpine had wanted, so he abandoned them. The Dead Men and I found them, and we took them in; tried integrating them with society. It worked."

Valkyrie nodded. "Wow. That's disgusting. Resurrecting Serpine and beating him to a pulp all over again seems like a lovely scenario."

"Indeed."

"You don't seem to have the best relationship with them, though. Why's that?"

There was an icy pause. "They brought back too many bad memories. It made me bitter, and they caught on. Things just grew pretty tense between us after that, particularly after they started travelling."

"Maybe now would be a good time to make amends then," Valkyrie suggested.

"Maybe. They'd like you, you know. You're clever and interesting; qualities they appreciate in people."

A Week Later

True to their word, Clarity and her friends arrived within the week on a cold Friday afternoon. Valkyrie was sat in a chair by the window when she noticed the five RVs driving into the clearing in front of the manor. They looked sturdy and well-travelled, no doubt able to sleep two people; maybe three if you put a sleeping bag on the floor or someone was willing to sleep in the driver's seat.

"Hey, is this them?" Valkyrie asked, catching the attention of Anton, Dexter and Ghastly, who had come over with the rest of the Dead Men to see Clarity. Tanith would be coming over in the evening.

"The parade of RVs?" Skulduggery enquired. Valkyrie nodded. "Yes, that's them."

"You weren't kidding when you said they like to travel. Those RVs look like they've been all over the world."

"They cross paths with me every now and then," Anton said. "They present good company for my guests."

"Let's go say hi," Saracen said, putting down the book he was reading and getting up. Everyone followed suit.

Each RV appeared to be unique to whoever lived in it. One had swans, crowns and dogs painted on the side, another had a multitude of green eyes with blue irises along with some sea creatures, a third was just covered in swirling, multi-coloured patterns, and the fourth looked as if it was often used as a whiteboard of sorts, judging from the amount of spray painted doodles and notes done in marker pen. The fifth and final one had an elaborate black flaming wolf in a tribal design on it, and since the Dead Men were heading straight for it, Valkyrie figured that that was the one Clarity resided in.

Dexter marched up and knocked on the door loudly.

"Just a second!" called an androgynous voice from inside. The blend between male and female caught Valkyrie off guard, but she did note the strong confidence in the voice that she found in Skulduggery's.

"I'll get it," muttered a quiet, but definitely male voice. They sounded familiar…

The door opened, and everyone was taken aback by the sight that met their eyes.

Traitorous gold eyes stared back at them.

I'm pretty sure we all know what's coming next, despite not having Saracen Rue's mysterious power.