Oh, goodeeeee… my first letteR from a DEDicated reader…
QUESTION 1
Dear Ms. Grace,
I'm asexual and have no interest in a romantic relationship with anyone, regardless of gender. Despite the fact that I've made my orientation known to my friends, I find that a few of them still flirt and try to ask me on dates. How do I make my disinterest clear without destroying a friendship?
Sincerely,
Not Interested
- - - REPLY - - -
Well, well, wellllll….
So yoU don't like advances… mmmmmmm?
WhaT if they came from soMEone like…. me?
if I staRT to maKe advances
and PuT the moVes
on you,
would that alSo make you UNcomfortable? Hmmm? If I say, "Hey, baby, call me JokER insteAd of Mizzzz GraCE, 'cause I'm the party and i'm wheRE it's AT", would you Get all fluStered?
woUld you bluSh and try to hit me?
woulD you
hit Me
hard?
I'd like that. So juST give me your aDdress and I'll
FIND YOU
and I'll hit on You and make yOu upset and yoU can hit mE and i can enjoy it and IT will be a Great arrangeMenT.
In the meantime, (theRe's always TimE to be MeAN)
before
I get there just
Get your POINT across to peoPle that you don't WaNt to get hiT on. carry a switchblade and whiP it out when they don't exPecT it. like in tHE midDle of watching a romanTic comedy with katHerine Heigl. ThreATeN to cut a man's ballS off.
we generally don't LIKE that.
Threaten to Carve a woman's face up. They defiNitelY don't like that.
Heh heh.
-joKeR
P.
S.
Ha.
-4oC, 2009.07.01