Chapter 159: The Cause

"Good morning," Riku said, as Namine rolled over onto her side and opened her eyes.

"Is it morning?" she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"Heck if I know."

Namine giggled at that.

"How you feeling?" Riku asked.

"Alright, I suppose." She squeezed his hand. "You know how these things are. How 'bout you? You feeling okay?"

"I guess, yeah." He looked at her for a moment. "You gonna get up?"

She let out a long breath. "I probably should, huh?" She laughed. "I don't want to, though. I think I'd like to stay here for a while… and… maybe doze off. I'm tired…"

"Then get some sleep," he told her.

"Mmm… no, I should probably get up. I've slept enough already…"

"There's a difference between sleep and nightmares, Namine."

She smiled. "You would know."

"Is that-" He frowned slightly. "Are you making fun of me? It's not funny."

"No, I know it's not funny," Namine said. She grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright—"

She opened her eyes, regarding him with an are-you-serious? look as she sat up. "Riku, if you aren't going to accept my apology then what good does me apologizing even do?"

"Well, I wasn't mad at—"

She whacked him over the head, stopping him there. He flinched.

"You were upset! Besides, that wasn't something I should be joking about."

Riku didn't answer. He was still flinching, eyes squeezed shut, hands raised partially as if to defend himself.

Abruptly, Namine realized what she'd done.

"Oh- oh no." Horror clutched at her chest, and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Riku I'm so sorry, I didn't even think—"

Kairi did it all the time. But she and Sora roughhoused all the time, in general. And Riku wasn't Sora. Riku was Riku. And Larxene…

"Riku, I'm sorry," Namine said again, because he hadn't answered.

"It's fine," he said finally. He didn't open his eyes or lower his hands.

"It's really not fine?"

"I'm okay."

She believed that one, at least, but—

"I'm so, so, so sorry," she said again, because there was no possible way she could say it enough.

"I'm okay," Riku repeated. He lowered his hands, finally, and opened his eyes. He didn't look at her, not directly, though.

"I- I won't do it again," Namine said. "I promise, I won't—"

"It's fine," Riku cut her off.

It still wasn't really, but there didn't seem to be a way to argue with him. Namine chewed on the silence for a few seconds, not sure what else to say or do. Maybe… Maybe the best thing to do would be to just change the subject.

She looked around the room.

"Oh," she said. "We're in—"

"My room," Riku finished, fidgeting where he sat. "Is that- is that a problem?"

Namine quickly shook her head.

"No! No, it's- it's not a…" She trailed off, as if looking for words. Finally, she said: "Ah, where did you put my sketchbook?"

"It's on the desk. Here." He got up and went over to the desk, gathering her sketchbook and pencils, and then brought them to her.

"Mmm… are these… all the pencils?"

"All of them on the desk, yeah."

Namine grimaced.

Riku frowned, not liking the grimace.

"You're missing some, aren't you?" he said. She nodded. "I might've dropped some…" He slowly got down on his hands and knees, scouring under the desk and under the bed for any that he might've dropped. He only came up with one; a purple one.

Namine counted her pencils again. "I'm still missing… five, I think. A blue, an orange—not that I really need that one—a grey, a pink, and then… oh, drat, my black's gone."

"Well, let's go look for them," Riku said, getting up and straightening himself out. There obviously weren't any more on the floor of his room.

"Yeah."

They stepped out of his room and started towards the Main Room. Of course, they could've just as easily opened a dark corridor there, but… Riku was honestly happy to have the privacy. Just him and Namine. Not that they hadn't spent the last few hours alone, but that didn't entirely count, seeing as she'd been unconscious.

"Sorry for dropping them," Riku said, after a moment.

Namine laughed. "Don't worry about it; they're a pain to keep track of. I can't tell you how many I've lost." She shook her head. "I almost need a new set!"

Riku paused, doing a quick calculation. Yeah, he could afford that.

"Alright," he said.

"'Alright' what?" Namine asked.

"We'll go get you a new set, yeah?" Riku grinned. He liked the idea. Namine needed a new set, and going and getting one would mean more time... alone, together.

Namine stared at him for a long moment. "Riku…" she said, slowly, as if about to argue.

"I've got munny! C'mon."

He reached out, starting to form a dark corridor to… Twilight Town, he supposed, would be a good place. He froze, though, hearing footsteps heading their way. He frowned, but closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm.

"Riku?" Namine asked. "What's- oh."

Riku turned to face the newcomer: Alpha. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest and did his best not to scowl.

"Yeah?"

"There's something I need to tell you," Alpha said, slowly. "I've been meaning to mention it for a while n—"

Riku stopped him. "Listen, if you need to talk to me, it's going to have to wait. I'm in the middle of—"

"It cannot wait."

Riku rolled his eyes.

"Is it life or death?"

"Well, no," Alpha admitted.

"Then it can wait! At least for thirty minutes while I go—"

"It's about Namine's meltdowns."

Riku froze. That changed things. Namine slowly shifted so she was standing beside him.

"What about them?" she asked.

"I- I believe I know what's causing them."

"You do?" Riku asked, a bit surprised. He uncrossed his arms.

"Really?" Namine sounded excited.

"Don't get your hopes up," Alpha said. "I don't think you'll like the conclusion I've come to." He was… pointedly not looking at them. Riku felt worry clench in his stomach at that, but… no, it didn't matter. They could stop the meltdowns!

"It doesn't matter," he said, firmly. "Anything. Anything to make them stop."

"Yeah, whatever it is, we can handle it!" Namine agreed.

Riku glanced down at her, a smile playing on his lips. "Together," he whispered.

She looked up at him and grinned.

"Together."

He stared at her for a moment, before grabbing her hand and holding it tight. Her smile only widened. Together. Yes, they could handle anything the world threw at them, so long as they were together.

He could handle anything as long as Namine was with him.

Alpha cleared his throat. Riku looked over at him, and Namine did so too.

"I believe-" Alpha began, but hesitated. "I… believe that… you are causing the meltdowns, Riku."

Riku's heart about stopped. His lungs felt very tight. What- no! It couldn't be possible. It couldn't. It- it…

"No," he choked. It was hard to speak, let alone breathe. "You're… kidding."

"I'm… afraid not," Alpha said.

Riku stumbled back. "Of course… I..." He rubbed his head. "That… would be my luck…" It felt… like his world had just shattered and was falling to pieces. He was hurting Namine? That… That meant…

"Now wait a minute!" Namine shouted. "How exactly is he causing my meltdowns?"

"It's… complicated," Alpha said. "Basically, you're hypersensitive to his emotions, and his emotions—especially the more negative ones—trigger the memories that trigger the meltdowns."

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

Namine looked pretty angry. Furious, actually. Alpha seemed a bit worried, but determined regardless.

"His memories are unstable. His emotions are just as unstable. You're sensitive to both." Alpha shrugged, like that was all he needed to say.

"Yeah, but-" Namine groaned and raked a hand through her hair in her frustration. "Do you even have any proof?"

Alpha was silent for a moment. "No… I- I have my reasons to believe that his memories could cause the equivalent of a meltdown for just about anyone, but I can't prove that." He swallowed. "We no longer have his memories. We deleted them from the database. And even if we hadn't, we don't have the database."

"See! There's no proof!"

"You are always with him when a meltdown happens," Alpha argued.

Namine laughed, angrily. It sounded odd coming from her mouth. "But how is that proof?"

"Data transfers can't happen if you're not within a fifty foot radius of each other."

"But I had-" Namine paused, grimaced. She sighed. "Are you even sure that there are data transfers happening?" she asked.

"I'm- I'm not sure," Alpha replied. "I can assume, but I can't be sure without the Program. Which we don't have. We need to make do with what we do have, Namine. I figured we'd separate you two for a few days, see what happens, and we can make a fairly accurate conclusion based on that."

"You sure about that?" Namine raised her eyebrows and folded her arms across her chest.

"Do you want to stop your meltdowns or not, Namine?"

"Not if it means being separated from Riku."

Riku frowned. He wasn't sure how to—

No.

"C'mon, Namine," he said. "It- it can't hurt to try. Just… for a few days. See what happens."

She rounded on him. "You're okay with this?"

Riku swallowed.

"I just… want them to stop…"

"Yeah, but-" Namine bit her lip. "If this is actually right—if you're actually causing them- I don't believe this! I don't. Not a single word." She shook her head. "You're not- I swear you're not…" She turned to Alpha. "He is not the cause. I know he isn't. Come back when you have a better theory for us to test out."

"This is all I have, Namine," Alpha said. "And I'm certain that it has enough reasoning behind it that it is worth testing. Now, if you wouldn't mind, can we go discuss this further in my office?"

xxx

"So, how'd he take it?" Vexen asked, as they entered the room.

Riku rolled his eyes, but said nothing. he was having trouble caring too much about arguing. Or putting any effort into arguing. Or into anything. He felt… empty. Was he really causing Namine's meltdowns? And, if he was…

"Well, actually," Alpha said. "It was Namine-"

"You're all in on this too?!" Namine demanded as she walked in (she'd been slightly behind Alpha and Riku).

Riku took a moment to see who all was even here. He hadn't bothered before. Besides him, Namine, and Alpha—and Vexen—the only other people here were 19 and Amaryllis.

"I'm only here for moral support!" 19 said.

"I'm just here to discuss what we're doing," Amaryllis said. "I'm not really involved in whatever Alpha's up to."

"Is there anything wrong with being involved?" Vexen asked. "I'm only trying to help."

"Help?" Namine scoffed.

"Just let him be," Riku interrupted, before she could say any more. "He can help if he really wants to, I suppose."

"I thought you were angry with him!"

Riku shrugged. "Whatever. He's going to help whether we want him to or not; I don't see the point in wasting energy trying to make him stop. Just leave him be." He was silent for a moment, then added, as an afterthought: "Or ignore him. That works too."

"And I'll ignore the fact you're ignoring me," Vexen said.

"See? It works."

Namine scowled, and let out a huffy breath.

"Weren't you- supposed to be hacking a computer or something?" she asked, eyes fixed on Vexen.

"I'm taking a break," Vexen said. "Hacking into someone else's computer remotely isn't easy work, Namine. I was starting to get a headache…"

"And this is relaxing?" Namine was still scowling. She seemed really tense. Riku reached out to grab her hand, or something, but she folded her arms across her chest before he could. He grimaced.

"This is science. Of course it is!" Vexen seemed surprised that she had considered the possibility it wasn't relaxing.

"This is science?" Amaryllis asked, sounding surprised himself.

"We are experimenting to discover the cause of a certain unexplained phenomenon—namely, Namine's meltdowns. I don't see how this isn't science. I mean-" Vexen chuckled. "We aren't doing fancy experiments that involve explosions or other neat chemical reactions, no, but we are still doing experiments, and this is still science."

"Oh," Amaryllis said.

"He has a point," 19 muttered.

"He didn't have to go so in depth about it!"

"If we're all done conversing!" Alpha said, raising his voice. "Then can we go back to discussing exactly how we're going to test this theory?"

"Hypothesis," Vexen said.

"What?"

"This is a hypothesis, not a theory."

Alpha rolled his eyes. "Whatever…"

"No, not whatever," Vexen interrupted. "This is a hypothesis. Theories are all but proven to be fact. Hypotheses are proposed explanations that may or may not be correct and need to be tested. This needs to be tested. It is a hypothesis."

Riku threw a glance over at Vexen, questioning whether or not he really wanted Vexen involved with this. He was in a bad enough mood as it was, and if Vexen was going to continue going on like this—

No, no… he thought. Better to just ignore him. I'm not in the mood to deal with him right now.

He wasn't much in the mood to deal with anything right now.

"Okay, fine!" Alpha said. "To test this hypothesis—"

"Can we sit down?" Riku asked.

Alpha sighed. "You'll have to confine yourselves to the floor, seeing as Vexen has the only chair."

"What? I'm getting too old to sit on the floor."

"Floor is fine," Riku said, sitting down. "Namine?"

She looked down at him, as if considering it, but finally sighed and started to sit down. He gently redirected her so she ended up sitting in his lap. She sat very still for a moment. So did he, suddenly thinking that he maybe shouldn't have done that…

"Riku…" Namine said, slowly.

He swallowed.

"Sorry. Do you want to move?"

"…no," she whispered. "No." She gripped his arm tightly. "This is fine."

He held her close. "Cool," he said. For some reason it was hard to find his voice. He wanted to say more, but he couldn't get the words out.

I just… wanted to hold you close like this.

I'm… scared, Namine.

There's this terrible feeling in my gut and it lessens slightly if I'm holding you.

Am I… really causing your meltdowns?

"As I was saying," Alpha said. "I think, to test this hypothesis, it'd be best if we sent Riku away for a while. A week, probably, would be best."

"A week's an awful long time," Riku protested.

"Any less time wouldn't yield decent results," Alpha replied. "Namine usually has a meltdown every three days or so. Usually. A month would be best, actually, but—"

"I'm not going away for a month!" Riku said.

"He shouldn't even go for a week!" Namine added.

"I already said, Namine. Any shorter amount of time would yield inconclusive results. How are we supposed to tell if his absence made any difference when he's only gone as long as the time it normally is between meltdowns, hmm?" Alpha raised his eyebrows.

Namine didn't have an answer for him.

"We'll try a week," Alpha said. "See what results we get, then try again. And maybe we'll try for a longer period of time."

"Why would we have to try again?" Riku asked.

"No one week is going to provide enough results," Alpha explained. "This isn't going to be a short process."

"So I guess I'll, uh, be retrieving the external on my own, then," Amaryllis said.

"It'd probably be easier to retrieve on a one person stealth mission, anyway," Riku said.

"True…"

"You sure it's a good idea to send him away for a week, though?" 19 asked. "Remember what happened last time he was gone? We were raided and barely scraped through! And he was only gone a day that time!"

"Technically," Vexen said. "That was the time before last."

"Still!"

"But we don't have anything that the Organization wants, anymore," Amaryllis said. "They have their Keyblade. They have the Program. They have the database. They won't come after us."

"We have Namine," 19 argued.

"They won't go after her," Alpha sighed.

"How do you know?"

"Because the whole point of them capturing her was to get the Program. Which they have."

"No," 19 said. "The point of capturing her was to get rid of Riku."

Alpha frowned. "Yes, to get him out of the way so they could get the Program."

"But what if they still want to get rid of Riku?"

"They have Roxas now, though," Amaryllis said. "He can just as easily—"

"But Roxas is only a few days old," 19 interrupted. "What are the chances he's strong enough to take Riku? Besides, the whole point of it was to make it personal—"

"Alright!" Alpha rubbed his temples. "Maybe they will come after her."

"And the chances of them coming while I'm gone?" Riku asked.

"We can protect her," Alpha insisted.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "Can you? I want to figure out what's causing Namine's meltdowns, sure, but I'm not going anywhere if it means putting Namine in danger."

"She'll be fine, Riku."

"I swear that I will do everything I can to keep her safe," Vexen said.

Riku stared at him for a moment. "Right… anyone I can trust?"

"Hey!"

19 raised his hand.

"Me too," Amaryllis said.

"And me, if you must know," Alpha added. "I'm sure everyone in this Castle would gladly protect her or die trying. And if you want to go around and have them all personally swear that to you, be my guest."

Riku shrugged. He was… satisfied, for the most part.

"Now," Alpha said. "Back to sending Riku away for a week-"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Namine said.

"We're not voting, Namine!"

"Why not?"

Alpha groaned. "Fine! You want to take a vote? I say we send Riku away to test this."

"And I," Vexen said.

Namine turned to him, frowning. "You're with him on this?"

"There's a possibility this hypothesis may prove correct," Vexen said. "It certainly seems plausible. I see no harm in testing it out."

"Riku?" Alpha asked.

"I'm for leaving," he muttered.

Namine turned to him, at least, as best as she could while sitting in his lap. "Really?"

He shrugged.

"Like Vexen said: no harm trying."

"But-"

"I don't want you hurting, Namine."

Namine turned back to Alpha, furious. "I'm not okay with this!"

"It's three against one, Namine," he replied.

"Three against two, actually," 19 corrected. "I vote Riku stays here. What? I should get to vote!"

"Amaryllis?" Namine asked.

"I'm not voting."

"It's settled then," Alpha said.

"No it's not!" Namine protested.

"Namine, please, you're the only one against this."

"Except me," 19 corrected, again. "I think Riku should stay."

"19, no offense, but-"

"Why are you against this, Namine?" Vexen asked, before Alpha could finish.

"Because I don't think he's causing my meltdowns," Namine said, firmly.

"And why is that? She's allowed to at least defend her thinking," Vexen said, to Alpha, before he could protest. "She must have a reason for believing this, after all."

"I- well-" Namine swallowed. She suddenly seemed a bit nervous. Riku held her tighter, trying to reassure her, calm her down.

"Do you even have a reason?" Alpha asked.

"Let her talk!" Riku snapped.

"No," Namine said. "He's right." She'd gone from nervous to angry very quickly. "I don't have a reason." She pulled herself away from Riku and got to her feet.

"Namine-" Riku began, getting up, too.

"No,"she said, firmly. "He's right. He says it's your emotions triggering the memories inside me. And, really, that's perfectly possible. We both know that I tend to be more in tune with your emotions than even you are sometimes, and with them being the way they are, I wouldn't be surprised if they really were triggering memories. And I can't even say you're not the cause because, well, you're you and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. But…" She shrugged, helplessly. "It's your emotions, Riku. You aren't going to stop feeling just to protect me. And I'm not asking you to." She turned, then, starting for the door.

"Namine, hold on," Vexen called, causing her to pause. "Don't put yourself down so quickly. There must be some reason why you don't think Riku's causing your meltdowns."

"Because- because I don't want him to be! Because I-" She shrugged again. "I don't know. That's all I have."

"You sure?" 19 asked.

"Yes? I don't know. I suppose there's-" she grimaced. "Like, this gut feeling. That- that Riku isn't the cause. That, if anything, he's…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "I don't know."

"That's it?" Alpha asked.

"Yes!" she replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to my room. You all can finish sorting this out, and then, if you wouldn't mind getting me before you leave, Riku, I'd like to say goodbye." She started for the door again.

"Namine, wait!" Riku caught her by the arm, before she could leave.

She took a deep breath. "Riku, please. I don't want to-" She turned to him, was silent for a moment, then pulled her arm away. "Not now." She left.

Riku watched her go, a bit stunned, his arm still outstretched, reaching for her. He slowly pulled his arm back, fingers curling into a fist. Now what? There was a pit in his stomach and a lump in his throat. Namine was mad at him.

But… he supposed…

He turned back to everyone else. Yeah. He should finish sorting this out, then… talk to Namine. He took a step back towards where he was sitting—

"No, go after her," Vexen said, waving him off.

Riku didn't need telling twice.