Chapter Twenty-Nine

Lily stepped out into the cold air, and glanced up at the night sky above her. Her hair had been tied back in a ponytail, she wore glasses instead of contact lenses, she was wearing a zip up jacket and a pair of jogging bottoms, and she'd slipped her trainers on as well. She was all dressed up for a run and reasons for going at four o'clock in the morning was so that Iain and Gem never found out.

She lifted her leg up and grabbed her ankle from behind to stretch out first. She gripped the wall that was in front of her and did a few lunges and after sticking her earphones in and selecting one of her favourite songs, she was on her way.

A week had passed and they'd received a date for the hearing.

Tuesday the 18th April.

Lily was terrified and with the amount of sleepless nights she was having, she thought that a run might be a good distraction for her. Also, running was a great way to burn calories and there was still a small bit of weight that she needed to lose.

She didn't see the problem in exercising. Iain clearly did though, as he was stood outside waiting for her when she returned back.

"What are you doing?" Iain asked, shoving her inside. "It's almost half past six in the morning. What time did you get up?"

"Four," Lily mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.

"You've done a two hour run?" Iain asked her. When Lily didn't answer, he shook his head and stormed into the kitchen. "You're staying here so that I can keep an eye on you," he reminded her.

"What's the big deal?" Lily asked, following him into the kitchen. "I went for a run, I needed to get out Iain."

"At that hour?" Iain asked, grabbing a bowl and a box of cereal from the cupboard. "Mrs Beauchamp gave me strict instructions to look after you because we know how much you're struggling with this hearing."

"I'm not struggling!" Lily shouted. "I went for a run!"

"It's in three weeks, Lily!" Iain yelled, teeth clenched. "You're going to be nervous!"

"I went for a run," Lily repeated herself slowly.

"Why?" Iain asked. "You've never gone for early morning runs before, so why now Lily? Look, I am trying to be patient and understanding here but this obsession to lose weight needs to stop."

"Stop getting at me!" Lily yelled. "I go for one run because I need to clear my head, and suddenly YOU turn into The Incredible Hulk."

Iain slammed the box of cereal down onto the table, causing Lily to flinch, and said, "you're eating breakfast this morning."

"What?" Lily asked, a firm scowl on her face. "Iain, no." She shook her head desperately, tears pricking her eyes. "Please don't."

"Sit down," Iain said, pulling out a chair and gesturing to it. "I'm going to go and wake Gem."

He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down into the chair, before strolling off to Gem's bedroom. Lily scanned the table, taking in the items that were on there. There was a bowl of fruit, the box of cereal, a few bowls and a carton of milk. She jumped, as she suddenly heard Gem shouting at her brother, and the two of them entered the kitchen.

Gem was still in her pyjamas and she didn't look at all pleased to have been woken. To be fair it had gone six thirty and Gem needed to be up and dressed in order to start her shift at the ED. Lily knew that she wasn't a morning person though and whenever there was an opportunity for a lay in, she'd taken it.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Gem chuckled to herself and eyed Lily up and down, taking in the sweats and the hoodie that she was wearing.

"Cereal?" Iain offered, as Gem sat down opposite Lily.

"Is she joining us?" Gem asked, confused and also concerned.

"Yes, she is," Iain said, sitting beside his sister. "And she's going to eat breakfast with us."

"No, I'm not," Lily refused. "You can't do this, Iain."

"Bro, maybe we shouldn't force someone with an eating disorder to eat," Gem said. "I may not be a doctor but even I know that..."

"I don't have an eating disorder!" Lily interrupted, running her hands down her face.

"Good," Iain said, tipping some cereal into his bowl. "Then you'll have no trouble with breakfast then, will you?" He poured the milk onto his cereal, and Lily slowly stood up, her fingers gripping anxiously around the edge of the table. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Bathroom," she whispered hesitantly.

"No you're not," Iain said, pointing to her chair. "Sit back down."

Tears stung Lily's eyes and she slowly sat herself back down in the chair. Iain took a bowl and the box of cereal and poured her some, trying to be kind by leaving the milk out. He placed the bowl of dry cereal down in front of Lily but she just stared at it with scared eyes.

"Since when have you had trouble standing up to people, Lils?" Gem asked, before turning and addressing her brother. "You can't force her to eat. This isn't exactly sympathetic, don't you need sympathy as a paramedic?"

"Shut up, Gemma," Iain whispered.

"Gem!" Gem was quick to correct him.

"Lily, try and eat something yeah?" Iain said, in a much more gentle tone than before. "You'll never get better if you don't try."

"I'm not hungry," Lily whispered, giving a small shrug of the shoulders.

Her stomach growled but she kept her arms folded to try and hide the sound, hoping that neither Gem nor Iain would hear. She turned her head and bit her lip, not wanting to look as they ate their breakfast.

Iain sighed wordlessly. He'd just about had enough. He finished off his breakfast, walked over to one of the kitchen cupboards and grabbed a cereal bar, chucking it down onto the table in front of Lily.

"That isn't much at all," he told her. "And it's healthy. You can eat that instead, yeah?"

Lily anxiously picked up the bar and nodded, without looking Iain in the eyes.

"Help me with the washing up, Gem," Iain ordered, giving Gem's shoulder a comforting rub before going to run the tap.

Lily watched him, as Gem tided away the bowls and stacked them up beside the sink. She looked down at the breakfast bar in her hands and gulped, subtly stuffing it into the top of her trousers. She stood up from the table and pushed her chair in, just as Iain turned around.

"Where are you going?" He asked her once again, scared that she was off to make herself sick.

"Bedroom," she answered. "I'm going to get changed."

"Okay," Iain said, smiling faintly at her. "I'll see you in a minute."

"Sure," Lily whispered and turned to head off to the bedroom.

As she entered Gem's bedroom, she heard Gem tell Iain off for forcing her to eat. She appreciated the effort but she could have handled it on her own. She quietly shut the door behind her and tip-toed over to the campbed, kneeling on the floor. She pulled a black bin bag out from underneath it, removed the breakfast bar from her pocket, and threw it into the bag. Taking a deep breath, she looked at the other food that she'd hidden in there and she suddenly felt sick to the stomach.

"Lily!" There was a knock on the door from Iain. "Are you in there?"

"Um...Just a bit," Lily called quickly closing the bag and shoving it back under the campbed before sitting down on the duvet. "Come in."

The door opened and Iain stepped in, surprised to see that she was still in her running clothes. He didn't mention it though and leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and she nodded in response. "I'm sorry, Lils. I um...I shouldn't have forced you to eat anything, I just hate seeing you do this to yourself and it upsets me. I guess I just lost it, and...I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Iain," Lily said. "I'm fine."

He frowned and asked, "did you eat that breakfast bar I gave you though?"

"Um...Yeah," Lily lied quickly. "I...I did. Thank you."

"That's progress," Iain said, trying not to sound too patronising. "Well done, you should be proud. Listen, I...I wanted to talk to you about this hearing."

"Iain, I'd rather not," Lily said, pretending to rummage through a pile of clothes so that Iain would think she was busy and leave.

"I know you're scared, yeah?" Iain said. "But you'll be okay. When are you due to be back at work?"

"Like a week before it," Lily said. "But Mrs Beauchamp did say that there was some possibility of having another week off. It'll just be one more week, and that way I can get court out of the way and go back to work afterwards."

"Might not be a bad idea," Iain said. "And look, I...I was wondering if you wanted me to come along for a bit of moral support. It might do you some good."

Lily nodded and managed a small smile, before saying, "I'd like that. Thank you."

"Anytime," he said.

"Could you go now?" Lily asked him. "It's just, I'd really like to finish getting changed."

"Sure thing," he promised. "And Lily, my feelings for you will never change and you do realise that right? I'm sorry if I came across as angry or harsh but the truth is, I really do care about you. I don't want you to forget that."

"Don't worry, Iain," Lily sighed, her thoughts on the bag of food under her bed. "I know."

I quite liked writing this chapter. Thanks for reading and I hope you're still enjoying it so far. A few more chapters before the court case :-) x