More madness! More crappy dialogue!

Enjoy!

Chapter 7 – The Pups

A few days later, Skulduggery was finally discharged from the medical ward, but Valkyrie wanted to see the infamous 'Pups' first. Clarabelle wouldn't shut up about them, so she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

Surprisingly, Doctor Synecdoche held no opposition to her request. In fact, she wanted them to see the three mystery kids. Particularly Erskine, Dexter and Saracen, for whatever reason.

When Valkyrie did, she practically melted. Tanith let out a little 'aww', too.

The three of them were boys, about three or four years old. They were sat on a single hospital bed, looking about curiously with wide, innocent eyes. Clarabelle was fussing over them, looking completely at home looking after the youngsters.

"Oh, hi!" she chirped when she saw them walk in. "Doctor Synecdoche said you'd be coming in. I think. Or maybe she was talking about Gerald and Scapey."

"I think she was talking about us," Skulduggery said. He was dressed in a suit Ghastly had brought for him, and much like when he'd been dead, it hung off of his skeletal frame (no pun intended) as if he still lacked flesh. Clarity had observed this, and made a mental note to badger him into eating enough so that he started to fill out.

"Okay. Oh, yeah, she said you were coming to pick them up. Shame, I'm going to miss them."

"Wait, what?" Dexter questioned.

"You're looking after them," Synecdoche said bluntly as she walked in. "This is no place for kids to be practically living here. And since it was your little escapade that led to them being here, you're responsible for them."

"Hey, that was hardly our fault. Gracious and Donegan got lost in those caves, we went to find them."

"I hardly find the Monster Hunters to be responsible carers, so I'm placing them in your care until I can find someone more qualified. In fact, Clarity made the offer for the lot of you to be temporary guardians for them."

"What?!" Dexter squawked, turning towards Clarity. "Have you been possessed by a Remnant? I am not father material!"

"It's a good thing that I'm going to be their primary carer then," Clarity said.

"But you'll be gallivanting around the world, how can you look after three toddlers, too?"

"Who said I was leaving?"

"What are you going on about?"

"If you'd been around to listen to anything I'd said over the past few days, you'd know that Erskine and I are staying here in Ireland so I can help Skulduggery adjust to being alive again."

"Oh. Why's Erskine staying?"

"I'm his custodian, dammit."

"Oh, yeah."

"Okay, Pups," Clarabelle chirped. "This is your new family."

"Whoa," Saracen exasperated. "Don't get too hasty, there. We don't even know their names."

"This is Husky," Clarabelle announced, gesturing to the middle pup. He had dark hair and dark, thoughtful grey eyes, like Saracen.

Dexter noticed the similarity. "Looks like you, 'Daddy'," he teased quietly.

"Shut up," Saracen deadpanned.

"This one is Dingo," Clarabelle continued, gesturing to the one with blonde hair and soft blue eyes like Dexter.

"Oh, Daddy Dexter," Saracen crooned mockingly, a devious grin meeting his face. Dexter just scowled at him.

"And the cutie is Wolf," Clarabelle announced, turning to the last one and ruffling his mop of reddish-brown hair. 'Wolf' just blinked up at her with big, golden eyes.

Dexter and Saracen both made the connection. "Well damn," Dexter breathed, looking a little frustrated. "So in that explosion, Skulduggery gets his body back, and Saracen, Erskine and I get kid versions of us? No fair! Kids are a damn handful."

"And you know this, because..?" Clarity challenged, narrowing their eyes.

"You were kind of a kid when we found you. How do you know?"

"I had to raise Dipper after I took him in at the age of three. I have lost count of the amount of times I almost lost him because he decided to swim with dolphins."

"Oh. The worst you did was stealing Skulduggery's leg whilst he meditated."

"And parading around the campsite with it whilst you lot cheered them on," Skulduggery grumbled.

Wolf heard what the former skeleton said, and wagged his tail slowly. The fuzzy wolf ears on his head – that no one had noticed until now – perked up.

Wait...

"They have tails?" Skulduggery questioned. "And... wolf ears?"

Clarabelle nodded. "That's why I called them the Pups."

Skulduggery shook his head grimly. "This is going to be a nightmare."

The group got home using Ghastly's van. Clarity had put Dexter, Saracen and Erskine in charge of a Pup each whilst they made sure Skulduggery didn't start suffering from motion sickness. He was currently groaning weakly with his head between his knees.

Erskine was looking down at Wolf with eyes just as curious as the wolf-eared child. The boy was sat on his lap, switching his attention between his carer and the Labrador plush that Clarabelle had given him.

"You're lucky," Dexter grumbled, grunting when Dingo nearly fell off of his knee. "I'm stuck with the devil one."

"I suppose he resembles you in more than just looks," Erskine quipped, a smirk gracing his features.

"Hey."

"I'm only stating fact."

"I have a long list of insults that I could possibly toss at you, but I'm afraid that the presence of children withholds me from voicing them."

"We should have gone down to those caves a long time ago," Saracen mused cheekily.

"Hey! You're no better than I am!"

"Knock it off, you two!" Ghastly barked from where he was driving. "I'm starting to think that you are the kids, not the Pups."

Valkyrie decided that the group of carers and their charges – as annoying as some of them may be – would be better off if they continued to stay with her at Edgely manor. There wasn't much protest, and Skulduggery was surprisingly eager to lodge there. Probably because he didn't want to go back to Cemetery Road just yet. The place was too grim.

Everyone was greeted by Clarity's friends, who were just beginning to pack up for when they left the next day. Dipper in particular was disappointed that Clarity wouldn't be going with them, but didn't complain too much. He got distracted by the Pups, like almost everyone else. Dingo and Husky both seemed to enjoy the attention, but Wolf was immediately hiding behind Erskine's leg, ears flattening against his head.

"Come on, Pup," Erskine coaxed, picking the three-year-old up and heading over to his and Clarity's RV for some privacy. He slept in Clarity's RV because of the nightmares he still suffered from. "You want some orange juice?"

Wolf nodded, and Erskine got a carton of orange juice from the fridge, pouring himself and the boy some. Wolf eagerly took it and gulped it down, earning a chuckle from Erskine. Sitting the boy down on the bottom bunk, he grabbed a book from the shelf and sat down next to him.

"Hmm, you're not much of a talker, are you?" he mused, ruffling the boy's hair gently. Wolf just looked up at him with the same wide eyes. "It's okay. I was quiet when I was your age, too."

Your age…

Erskine frowned slightly, but quickly pulled up a reassuring smile when Wolf noticed. "You'll have a good childhood, I promise."

I wouldn't forgive myself if you don't…

Clarity came into the RV about an hour later to find Erskine sat on the bottom bunk, reading. Softly snoozing next to him, more or less sprawled across his guardian's lap; was Wolf. The whole scene made them want to squeal.

Instead, they composed themselves. "Seems you're well-adjusted to fatherhood already," they remarked, a small smile reaching their lips.

Enraptured in his book as he was, Erskine was surprised to hear Clarity's voice. "You think so?"

God, the utter hope in his voice made them want to hug him and never let go.

"Definitely. And your next 'test' of parenthood starts once you get into the living room. Dinner's ready, and I believe a food fight is likely to occur. Make sure Wolf doesn't become a one-Pup battalion."

I've always pictured Erskine to be something of a father type. That, and I have chosen to dump more trauma to his life that has lead him to be very protective of kids.

Oh, and remember what I said in the prologue about that ship that shouldn't be sunk? It shall soon set sail in a few chapters.

Points to whoever guesses the ship.

Anyways. Adios!