AN/ Chapter 61 of Can't Escape happens immediately before this chapter, and, probably clears up what's going on here with Riku.

Chapter 167: The Discovery

"Ow, ow, ow ow owowow!" Riku ground his teeth, trying not to scream too much. He was sitting in a chair in the dining room as Aerith looked at his shoulder. Why was she looking his shoulder? Ah, because he'd, well, injured it.

"How exactly did you manage to dislocate your shoulder?" Aerith demanded after a few seconds.

Riku swallowed. "I. Uh." He cleared his throat. "You know the ravine trail?"

Aerith sighed. "You fell."

Riku laughed, nervously. "Well, not exactly. I caught myself, but—"

"Injured your shoulder in doing so," Aerith finished. She sighed again. "Alright. This is going to hurt."

Riku bit his tongue. "Ow!" he gasped, jerking away from her. That hurt more than he'd expected it to.

"Hold still!" she scolded. "I can't set your shoulder with you squirming like that."

"Sorry… it just- mm!" He bit his lip. "Hurts."

"Yeah, I warned you, didn't I?" Aerith asked. She chuckled, shook her head. "Right, I'm going to get some ice to help the swelling go down."

Riku shifted slightly in his seat. He focused on the sound of Aerith's footsteps. The sound of her opening the freezer and digging around for the ice. Anything but the thoughts that wanted to run through his head.

Because Axel…

And Namine…

No.

"Here," Aerith said, placing the ice against his shoulder. He took a sharp breath. The ice was cold against his skin. But that was fine. Something else to distract himself. "Can you hold it there?" Aerith asked.

Riku nodded and did so, pressing the ice into his shoulder. He needed to focus on the cold. The pain that accompanied it. Not anything else. He did not need to focus on anything else. Certainly not Axel—the Axel from the other universe, of course, who he'd had the misfortune of running into—and definitely not the things he'd said about—

No. Riku refused to think about them.

Refused to think about her.

It's what you get for asking, part of him said, with a bitter laugh.

I couldn't help it. I was curious. I had to know, he responded, trying to defend himself.

You're thinking about it again! another part of him scolded. We agreed not to do that!

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the ice further into his skin, squeezing his shoulder slightly. The pain would distract him. Could distract him. He hoped.

You shouldn't be thinking about her. She isn't thinking about you.

She hasn't spared a thought towards you since Castle Oblivion, I'm sure.

But why can't I get her out of my head?

He sunk his teeth into his lip until he was tearing at skin. The ice against his shoulder wasn't enough. He couldn't distract himself. It was taking all his self-control to keep himself from wrenching his shoulder out of place again because that pain was much more preferable.

"Hey," Aerith said. "Riku?"

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was holding a hi-potion out to him.

"You should probably drink this," she said. "It'll help with the pain."

"I'm fine," Riku said, turning away.

"And it'll help with the healing," Aerith added, voice stern.

"Maybe later."

"Riku…"

"I'm fine!"

There was a pause. She shifted, bending down so she was at eye level with him.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, quietly.

Riku didn't look at her for a while. Of course something was wrong. He couldn't stop his thoughts from churning. He couldn't get her out of his head. He tried but he came back to her every few seconds. His mind would always stray back in her direction no matter how hard he tried to tether it.

"I just-" he said. No. No he didn't want to even think about it.

She was the embodiment of the darkest part of his life just as much as he was hers.

"Your shoulder?" Aerith asked.

He shook his head.

"The headache again?"

He shook his head again.

"Then what?"

He swallowed.

"I… don't want to talk about it…"

"Alright." Aerith shrugged and walked away.

He watched her go, a little surprised. "That's it?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. You said you didn't want to talk, so you don't have to talk."

His eyes narrowed. "Is this a trick…?"

"No. I was never trying to make you talk, and I never would if you said you didn't want to." She smiled. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't in pain. By the way, the hi-potion? It's on the counter. I might make you drink it later, but, for now..."

He nodded, slowly.

"Okay."

xxx

"That?" Sora asked as they reached the edge of town.

Roxas nodded. Yup. That sure looked like it was a boss. "I think so," he told Sora. "See, look, there's one of those things we saw earlier—a… Tentaclaw."

"Tentaclaw?" Sora raised his eyebrows, like he expected Roxas to be joking.

"That's what they're called," Roxas said, shrugging. Like he could argue with Heartless names. Who named Heartless, anyway? And why was Tentaclaw a good name? Oh well. "The thing in the middle's called a Leechgrave," he said, before Sora could ask.

"Like that's any better," Sora muttered.

"All Heartless have kind of weird names."

Sora nodded. "That's—wait a minute." His eyes went wide with horror. "That's a Heartless? You're telling me it's cannibal?"

Roxas snickered, readying his Keyblade. "Heh, who knows! Let's just kick its butt and get it over with. Should probably go after the Tentaclaws first." That was rule number 14 of fighting. Get rid of the smaller enemies first.

Unfortunately, the Tentaclaws were tougher than they looked. It took Roxas ages—or it felt like ages—to even wear it down to three-quarters-health. He grimaced, rolled out of the way before the thing could snap his head off, and then went in for another attack.

"These things are really hard to beat!" Sora called, sounding a little worried. He jumped into the air and tried to bash at the Tentaclaw, but he didn't stay in the air long and barely managed to get two hits. Obviously he wasn't used to this sort of thing.

"Mmm," Roxas agreed. He seemed to be wearing it down faster than Sora, but he still wasn't doing much good. He cast Thundaga at it—aha! "Hey, magic seems to be pretty effective!" he called. He started to cast Fire—

Oh, that's right. He was out of Fire.

He shot Blizzard at the Tentaclaw instead. It didn't do anything.

"Figures," Roxas muttered. Blizzard magic was really only any good against fire-based Heartless. On anything else? It was basically useless.

"I'm terrible with magic, though!" Sora said. Roxas could hear him groan with frustration.

"Well, now's a good time to get some practice!" Roxas told him. "I'm out of magic, so it's all on you."

"But I'm no good with—"

"Sora, just try! You can do Fire, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then Fire should work."

Sora shot a blast of Fire at the Tentaclaw he was fighting, which left it with about half-health left. Roxas cast his last Thundaga at it, killing it.

"Now come help me out with this one!" he called, nodding over to the Tentaclaw he'd been fighting.

Sora cast another blast of Fire at it as he came over, and Roxas wailed on it with his Keyblade. It died. But not quick enough for Roxas's liking.

"Forget this," he muttered, going after the Leechgrave itself. "Keep attacking the Tentaclaws, will you Sora?" He swung his blade through the Leechgrave repetitively. It's defenses were high—like the Tentaclaws'—but it at least stayed in one spot.

Roxas leapt back, ready to go in for another attack, when he stumbled slightly. He hadn't noticed, but his health had been depleting. But… he could use that to his advantage. He grounded his feet, gathering his strength, focusing his attention into activating his Limit.

Power surged through him, and he threw himself at the Leechgrave. He swung his Keyblade as hard and as fast as he could, the light that enveloped it doubling the strength of his attacks. He coughed, face scrunching as something foul entered his lungs. The Leechgrave had sent out a burst of Poison, and Roxas had just breathed in a large chunk of it.

He didn't stop, though—it'd be a waste of a Limit. He surged forward, feet hardly touching the ground, and continued attacking. Pillars of light burst from him with every hit he landed.

The Limit spent, Roxas jumped back to get a breather. He could activate another Limit if he wanted to. He'd drained the Leechgrave down by about a quarter of its health, which was good. Another Limit couldn't hurt.

He activated it, and rushed forward, repeating the process. And again. And again.

Having just run through four Limits, Roxas staggered back. His vision was blurring, and he felt like he was going to pass out. Worse, the Leechgrave still had at least a third of its health left. Roxas swore and retreated to the side of the area, where nothing could hit him while he healed. He tossed up a Cure for himself, followed shortly by a Cura. The Cure fixed his blurred vision, but it'd take a bit for the Cura to finish and make him feel less like he was going to pass out.

"This would be easier if I had two Keyblades," Roxas mumbled, wistfully.

The adrenaline and power that ran through him when wielding two, not to mention the strength—oh, that'd be really useful right now.

"I'm not giving you mine again!" Sora called, not taking his eyes off the Tentaclaw he was fighting. "I'm getting low on magic, and I'd rather not be defenseless."

Idiot, Roxas thought, scolding himself. You are such an idiot. You should've put off the Limit.

If he failed this mission… his first important mission after being Reactivated…

He didn't want to think of the consequences.

C'mon… he thought, closing his eyes. It was stupid, but, he slowly closed his left hand, like he was summoning a Keyblade.

"You can't just give up!"

The voice rang in his ears.

You're one to talk… he couldn't help but think. He wasn't sure—

Wait.

His eyes opened.

He was definitely holding something hard and metallic in his left hand. He held it up—

"Aha!" he exclaimed.

He was holding that Keyblade—that Keyblade Sora's had morphed into when he held it. It was white and there was something about it that screamed light so adamantly that it was almost painful. Roxas couldn't help but grin, though, a little giddy.

He could wield two Keyblades.

xxx

Riku was up in his room—or the room he was borrowing for the week—pacing and trying to read. Everyone else was in bed by now. Except maybe Cid. Cid tended to stay up late. Riku could hear him working and sometimes cursing in his office as he did… whatever it was that he did.

Anyway, Riku was trying to read.

It wasn't going very well.

His head was pounding and every other sentence his mind would drift to her again—

No. No. He needed to focus on the book. It was getting interesting. The prince was finally going to find his father—

Yet you're still hung up on her.

And it's killing you, isn't it?

Riku cried out in frustration, throwing the book to the ground and then flopping onto the bed. He rolled onto his right side—the good shoulder—and counted the bumps in the wall. Maybe if he counted enough he'd eventually fall asleep, and then he couldn't think about anything. Forget the nightmares. They were better than this.

And even if he didn't fall asleep, maybe the counting would distract him until something else could.

Four… five… six… seven eight, nine… ten…

Riku took a deep breath.

Eleven, twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen… fifteen… sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty—

It's useless.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry. He wouldn't cry. Crying was weak. He didn't want to be weak. He wanted to be strong. Strong enough not to let all this bother him. It shouldn't be bothering him.

He opened his eyes again.

"Twenty-one," he murmured. "Twenty-two—"

But he'd already counted those bumps, hadn't he?

"Dangit…"

He couldn't help it. Tears started leaking from his eyes.

He couldn't make the thoughts of her stop. He'd tried. He'd been trying all day. But he couldn't. And he couldn't make the tears stop either. It was useless. It was frustrating. He wanted to tear out his hair.

He pounded his fist against the bed instead, wincing slightly as he did so. Moving like that made his shoulder hurt. He rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

You need to stop. She doesn't matter to you. She shouldn't matter to you.

But she still did.

You've moved on. You'll never see her again.

Except there was a possibility he could.

C'mon. You're better than this.

Was he? He was starting to doubt it…

Stop crying.

She doesn't care about you.

You don't care about her.

But that was a lie.

Frikken Axel. This is all your fault. Why'd you have to show up, anyway? Sure, you saved me from falling, but I'm beginning to think that would've been better.

He groaned and started to roll over onto his left side—but, dangit, that was his bad shoulder. He had to be careful of that. He rolled over to his other side.

Though, really, it's my fault, huh?

I was the one who went down to the stupid ravine.

I was the one who asked Axel about her.

I knew it was a bad idea. I just didn't listen. I never listen. I never frikken listen!

He pressed his palms into his temples, as if trying to squeeze the thoughts out of his head.

It. Is. Useless. She does not give a damn about you. She never has and you know it.

It was the truth. He knew it. But the truth had never hurt this much. The truth had never left him feeling so broken—

Well…

"Because I—"

"No. No, Riku, you—"

No.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands harder into his head. He wouldn't think about it. He refused to think about it. It hurt too much. It hurt way too much.

She never cared about him. No one ever cared about him. And the one person who maybe did—the one person who ever calmed all his fears and nightmares—he couldn't spend forever with.

Because he was hurting her.

He was most definitely hurting her and he needed to separate himself from her before she was scarred.

He didn't want to see her scarred.

He didn't want to see her end up like him.

But since when was it any different from last time?

It wasn't.

Here he was again. Dependent on her and longing for her and needing her so much.

But because of his stupid mistakes—

Pushing too hard. Pulling himself away. Choosing to spend forever away from her—even just to keep her safe.

She was pissed at him.

She never cared about him.

And it all hurt and wouldn't stop. His head was throbbing. His heart was crying out, churning in his chest, screaming for the pain to just be finished with him. He was really starting to wish that Axel hadn't saved him. Maybe it would hurt less.

He slowly curled in on himself, and everything faded to a painful, blaring white.