*starts digging a grave* What, this? *points to the shovel* Just a precaution.

First thing's first, I added a reference to Shadowdawn199's hilarious story; 'Skulduggery and the Theatre' to this chapter, so credit goes to them for that idea. I suggest you go read it, it's epic.

Secondly. Remember that ship I mentioned before? The one that should be sunk? It set sails here!

I hope you enjoy. If not, then at least write something funny on my headstone.

Chapter 11 - Intoxication

Skulduggery got drunk. Very, very drunk.

Now, he was staggering around with his favourite hat on his head at a skewed angle. Laughing like an idiot, he held a half empty bottle of beer in his hand whilst Clarity desperately tried to prevent him from tripping over and smacking his head over the coffee table.

"Skulduggery, sit down," Anton groaned in exasperation. "You're drunk."

"M' not drunk!" Skulduggery retorted, his words almost slurred beyond recognition. "I've only had one bottle."

"And it's clear you haven't retained any tolerance of alcohol whatsoever," Clarity muttered.

"Shuddup, Clary."

Erskine, who was sat next to Ghastly, watched the drunk detective with worry. He'd had three bottles already, and his head was just starting to feel fuzzy. Four hundred years of experience drinking alcohol had given him a pretty decent tolerance of the stuff.

Eventually, he'd seen enough, and hauled himself to his feet. The sudden wave of dizziness made him stumble, but he regained his balance quickly enough to grab Skulduggery by the arm.

"You've definitely had enough to drink," he said, ignoring the glare he got from Valkyrie. "Best get to bed before you do something you'll regret."

"I'm not-."

Erskine's gaze hardened. "Skulduggery…"

"Fine."

The heavily inebriated man was guided out of the living room, and when he left, Valkyrie finally allowed herself to laugh. "You have to admit," she said. "Skulduggery's pretty funny when he's drunk."

"You should've seen him when he was dead. He got too close to a drunk Empathy Stirrer once," Saracen joked, and the rest of the Dead Men laughed at the memory, "and he set his head on fire and started singing this weird song about anemones."

Tanith suddenly snorted with laughter. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope!"

Erskine managed to guide Skulduggery to his room, and by the time they got there, the detective's hat was perilously close to falling off of his head, and he was mumbling something under his breath. It sounded like he was talking to himself.

"I've been thinkin'," he said out loud once the bedroom door shut. He was leaning slightly against Erskine, but thankfully, he wasn't a dead weight.

"This'll be interesting," Erskine muttered snarkily. He was surprised when something landed on his head and obscured his vision. Unable to see, he fumbled around, feeling a wide-brimmed hat on his head that hadn't been there before.

"Suits you," Skulduggery complimented, a lopsided smile adorning his features. Slowly, he held Erskine by the shoulders, bringing him closer so that thier noses were almost touching. "Y'know that… that thing you said about me finding someone to… to be with?"

Erskine nodded dumbly. His head was still fuzzy, and the closeness of Skulduggery's face was muddling his train of thought for some reason. Had he ever been this close to the man? No, he didn't think so.

The dumb grin on his friend's face widened to the point where he almost looked… love-struck. "I think I've found him."

Confused, Erskine opened his mouth to ask Skulduggery what he meant, but before he could say anything, a pair of lips pressing against his own. He froze up in shock, fear racing through him as a vision of the gaol flashed in his mind, but when he felt gentle fingers entwining with his hair, he felt himself relax into the kiss. Electricity tingled along every nerve, his heart skipped several beats apiece, and a heated pleasure welled up inside him.

When Skulduggery pulled away, pained longing and bitter disappointment replaced the ecstasy, but the feeling relented slightly when Skulduggery released a throaty chuckle.

"Y' look sweet when you blush," Skulduggery mused, carefully readjusting the hat atop Erskine's head so that the brim was horizontal to the floor, whilst keeping out of his eyes. "Mind staying like that a little longer?"

Erskine mumbled something that even he himself didn't understand, but it was probably something stupid. His entire being buzzed, however it wasn't the alcohol. That kiss had swept away all his fears and concerns, and he wanted to feel that same bliss again.

Skulduggery smiled and carried on talking, but his voice had dropped to a whisper, as if he were sharing some sort of secret the way a young girl would. "There's this… person in the back of my head," he said, gently flicking a strand of hair from Erskine's face. "He's not too nice, but… he likes you. Gets all… riled up when you're around. Hehe… I guess I know why."

Wrapped up in longing as he was, Erskine didn't have the slightest idea what Skulduggery was going on about. Every touch sent blessed shocks through him, but it was nothing compared to what he'd experienced during that kiss, and he wanted more.

Without knowing what he was doing, Erskine leaned forward, head tilted to account for the inch that Skulduggery held over him and lips slightly parted. Skulduggery carefully wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into another kiss. Blistering euphoria sizzled in Erskine's veins, and he heard himself let out a small moan as he embraced the man in front of him.

Closing his eyes, everything went blank for a few moments until Erskine found himself lying on his back with someone on top of him. The delightful pleasure drained out of him, replaced with haunting panic that forced his eyes open as he pulled away anxiously. His fear must have shown, because Skulduggery gently cupped a hand around his cheek, softly shushing him.

"I wouldn't do that," he hushed, placing a tender kiss on Erskine's forehead. He felt himself relax immediately. Why was Skulduggery able to do this all of a sudden?

Carefully, Skulduggery shifted so that he was lying next to Erskine with his chin resting on the top of Erskine's head. His arms gently encircled the gold-eyed mage, and the contact made him feel fuzzy in his chest.

"See?" he confirmed, softly breathing into Erskine's hair. "I wouldn't hurt you."

As his fear slowly dissipated, Erskine allowed himself to rest his head against Skulduggery's collarbone. There was comfort in the warmth, and he lazily sank into it.

His last thoughts before sleep pulled him away from consciousness were about whether or not he'd remember this when morning came.

See why I was digging the grave?

My (possibly) last dying wish is that you write a review to let me know what you think.