Chapter 4: Out of Character
It was nearing suppertime when they finally made it to the Mouri Detective Agency, as neither of them were familiar with Beika's streets. The light was still on, and they could see Detective Mouri dozing in his chair, watching TV through the window. They couldn't quite make out the individual words, but Ran Mouri was yelling at her father, from somewhere out of sight in the apartment.
"Well, it looks like they're fine," Kaito said, staring up at the window.
Hakuba nodded. "But, it's out of character for them to leave Conan all alone in the hospital for so long. You said that the nurses had noticed it too?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go up then," Hakuba said, pushing Kaito up before him.
"Why do I have to go first?" he hissed.
"Because you've disguised yourself as both of them, and I've only met Ran. Besides, you look like someone they know, right?"
"I'm not pretending to be Shinichi Kudou," Kaito whispered as they neared the door. "That name kinda has a death sentence attached to it, you know!"
"Fine," Hakuba said back. He straightened out his school uniform and knocked on the door with a succession of sharp strokes.
They heard Mr. Mouri's voice yelling, "Ran, get the door!"
"But you're right there!" Ran yelled back, stomping her way to them. She practically ripped the door off its hinges, and yelled, "What do you want? It's almost dinnertime!" Then she stopped, and stared directly at Kaito, frozen. "Shinichi?" she whispered, her voice catching as though she was about to cry. He stepped back, hands up. This was becoming an even worse idea by the second. She ran forward and wrapped her arms around him, making him freeze at the unexpected physical contact. Kaito tried to squirm out of her arms, which was difficult with Ran's surprising amount of upper-body strength.
"He's a classmate of mine; he's definitely not Kudou!" Hakuba tried to push them apart, but Ran had to strong a hold on Kaito's torso.
"I'm sorry, I'm really not your friend," Kaito plead.
She stopped and studied his face for a moment, her own face nearly brushing Kaito's. He looked back into her eyes, gentle brown, but bloodshot from crying. She gasped and jumped back like she'd been slapped, tears starting to leak down her cheeks. "I'm sorry; you just look so much like him..." she wiped the tears from her reddening face and asked, "Would you like to come in?"
Bowing graciously, they accepted her offer.
A few minutes later, they were sipping tea quietly in the living room, watching Mr. Mouri down canned beer after canned beer. Ran emerged from the kitchen with some cookies artfully arranged on a plate and sat down to join them. She'd taken a moment to wash the tear-trails from her face, though her eyes were still red, and she'd neglected to re-apply her make-up. Kaito remembered when he'd disguised himself as her. It'd been surprisingly easy. They were the same height, and he'd needed only a small amount of latex additions. Her brow was a little softer than his, and her nose a little more pronounced. Wearing a stuffed C-cup bra had been a lot of fun too, not that he'd admit it. Jumping into the ocean half-naked and getting the flu afterwards hadn't been very fun.
Ran's voice brought him back to reality. "So, how can we help you?"
Hakuba set down his tea cup and leaned forward slightly, glancing at Kaito, indicating that he'd take charge. "I'll be brief, Miss Mouri. Conan asked us to come and visit you, and make sure that you're alright. He's worried because he hasn't seen you in a while."
Mr. Mouri stood up and stomped out of the room the moment the name "Conan" left Hakuba's lips. They flinched as he slammed every door between them and his bedroom upstairs.
"You don't know?" Ran asked, looking back and forth between them, confused. "I thought everyone in the police force knew by now; they even brought in Inspector Nakamori to testify..."
"We're still minors, so I guess they left us out," Hakuba said softly, playing the flirty gentle giant that always managed to get under Kaito's skin, like ticks, or those bamboo slivers that are too small to see but hurt like fuck. "Could you enlighten us?"
"Someone filed a complaint anonymously against Dad, saying that he was abusing Conan." She closed her eyes, to hold back another outburst. "They had no real evidence! The judge just took all of this flimsy testimony without proof from a lot of people who we've never seen before – not a single doctor! Just this psychologist who has never even laid eyes on Conan. He told us that Conan's behavior indicates that he's likely been abused and neglected all his life, so he wouldn't know that what Dad was doing was wrong, even though he's really smart and perceptive. I tried to defend Dad by testifying too, but they ignored everything I said! Conan didn't get to testify at all either, because he was too sick to be interviewed! And all of this when he just needs us to be there, watching over him!" Ran was ranting now, all sense of decorum lost, her private feelings pouring out uncontrollably.
Hakuba lifted her clenched fist, enveloping it in his broad palms. "So, Conan's a ward of the state now, isn't he?"
Ran paused to catch her breath, nodding. "The judge just decreed it. Mom thinks that the judge was on someone's payroll, because they had no proof."
"And they've banned everyone from seeing him?" Kaito added.
"They won't even let Professor Agasa or Hattori visit, because they've banned anyone who tried to defend Dad."
"That sounds harsh," Kaito said. He fiddled with the hem of his uniform, thinking. If there was abuse going on, he hadn't noticed it. Conan didn't seem like what he thought someone surviving abuse would be like, but maybe that was useless stereotypes muddying the water. He'd never seen Mr. Mouri strike Conan, but then again, he hadn't pried very far into their private lives, since he was disguising himself as them for only a brief period of time. Most of the Mr. Mouri he played was what he got from his television appearances. What he'd gotten from his interactions between them was – Conan, or rather, Shinichi thought of Mr. Mouri like a big, dumb elephant, and that he absolutely adored Ran.
"Conan will be relieved to hear that everyone is healthy and unharmed," Hakuba was saying as Kaito surfaced from his thoughts. "When you stopped coming, I think he feared the worst."
Kaito interrupted, "What if we sneak Ran in?"
They looked up at him in surprise.
"Conan's well enough to have guests. I could dress Ran up in a simple disguise and she could visit him after school with us. What do you think?"
"You'd do that for me?" Ran asked, her face brightening up.
"Sure!" Kaito exclaimed. "It'd be easy. Just fix your hair, a little bit of make-up, change out of your school-uniform, some adult shoes and a pretty scarf... your own dad won't recognize you."
"You're a guy, how would you know how-" Ran protested.
"It'll be easy for him, seeing as he's probably Kaitou KID," Hakuba laughed, dodging Kaito's vain attempts to cover his mouth.
Arms folded, Ran sat back, watching the struggle. "That'd explain why you're nosing around," she said. "Kaitou KID does have some sort of weird obsession with my family."
"Does not!" Kaito objected. "You guys just happen to be in the middle of everything, making you convenient disguises."
"Finally admitting it?" Hakuba smirked.
"I say that as Kaitou KID's number one fan, of course," Kaito retorted. "Besides, we're here for Conan, let's focus on that."
The detective sighed, dropping his hands. He turned to Ran. "Shall we meet in a public restroom in Haido Park after school? You'll have space to change clothes, and Kaito can work on your make-up."
Ran nodded fervently.
After they'd said their good-byes and started towards home, Hakuba interrupted the uneasy silence growing between them. "You know what I said earlier, about Conan's putting up with Mr. Mouri's abuse?"
"Yeah," Kaito said, eying a ramen shop across the street.
"I was half-joking, but it was based off of rumors I'd heard around Section 2."
"What, you think he really was being abused?" Kaito asked.
"Maybe." Hakuba kicked a pebble down the street, frowning. "I hate cases like this. They're so murky. When you're an outsider, how can you tell if what you're seeing is abuse or discipline? It's all about things going on inside people's minds, and that's just about impossible to prove one way or the other. Mr. Mouri has a reputation for being rough with Conan while trying to keep him out of crime scenes, which could be argued is for the best, because no child should ever see those horrors. After all, he has no idea that Conan isn't a child. He probably thinks he's acting responsibly. Can that be called abuse?"
"Maybe it's about the action itself," Kaito reasoned. "Mr. Mouri has struck Conan in public, before witnesses – that seems to be the only fact that's not in question."
"Maybe, maybe, maybe," Hakuba grumbled. "You keep looking at the ramen stand; do you want to stop there?"
"Yeah," Kaito admitted.
"I'll call Granny; she can pick us up here. I'll give you a lift home." He pulled out his cellphone.
"That'd be awesome, thanks!" Kaito said, grinning. "We make a good team, when you're not accusing me of felonies."
Hakuba ignored the jibe as he talked to the old lady he called "Granny."
They ate in silence, too deep in their thoughts to chat. After fishing out the last of the noodles from the briny broth, Kaito broke the silence.
"I think you should drop this case," he said quietly.
Hakuba's eyebrows rose. "Which case? I thought we just solved it."
Kaito rolled his eyes. "I know you're going to try to track down the people who poisoned Kudou."
Judging from Hakuba's silence, he was right. He continued, "Kudou is a terrifying guy to have as an enemy. These people have evaded capture for an entire year with him as their enemy."
The noodles Hakuba was clumsily trying to stuff into his mouth with disposable pine chopsticks escaped again. Glowering, he bit back, "Like you have?"
"Don't start that again," Kaito muttered.
"Then again, you're pretty harmless in comparison to people who try to murder teenagers. He probably doesn't see you as a priority."
"I'm leaving." Kaito walked back to the cart and dropped off the bowl still holding a cupful of steaming, salty liquid.
Hakuba made one last try at fishing some noodles out of the broth, then ran after Kaito. "Wait! I wasn't trying to upset you."
"No, you're just trying to get me arrested, even when we're trying to help out a mutual friend in an absurdly dangerous situation, which you seem to have no comprehension of."
He caught up, breathing heavily. "I DO comprehend it. I've never been the focus of Kudou's attack, but I've seen him in action, and I studied all of the police reports of his battles with you. I understand that he's really intelligent, and that he's basically treating you like a catch and release thief for his own amusement, and you mentioned something about him putting you in the hospital multiple times. I'm not going to try to arrest you while we work on this case, okay?"
Kaito stopped and spun around. "Then stop telling everyone we meet I'm Kaitou KID."
"Then I won't." he crossed his arms and looked down his long nose. "I'll swear I won't investigate Kaitou KID anymore, and I won't help or harm your Kaitou KID operation in any way... IF you admit to me that you're Kaitou KID right now."
Kaito stared up at Hakuba, confused. "Why?"
"The point of it is to solve the puzzle, not ruin peoples' lives. That's something I learned from Kudou, by the way. He's not as bad as you make him out to be."
He considered this. Hakuba didn't seem to be lying. When he was lying or manipulating, he usually had a much smugger expression, and he hadn't spotted any of Hakuba's tells. Kaito took a deep breath, looked around to make sure they were out of earshot or in any surveillance cameras. "I'm a Kaitou KID copycat who's fooled the people who killed the last Kaitou KID into thinking that I'm him, and if I were ever unveiled, I'd probably end up at the bottom of the river wearing concrete shoes."
"Well," Hakuba said, stepping back, looking the way they'd come. "Let's go meet Granny. We still need to contact Hattori, if you're willing to see this through."
Kaito gaped at the sudden, inconsequential change of topic. "You're really just going to drop this?"
Hakuba clenched his fist. "Of course I shan't!" His voice didn't sound at all prissy or annoying, more like something he'd seen in an old Samurai movie. Maybe that's where he'd picked the phrase up? Coming from an angry 190 cm giant, it was actually kind of intimidating.
Seeing no response from Kaito, he went on. "You're not stealing anything ever again, because I'll be forced to turn you in if you do." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a single strand of hair in a plastic evidence bag, carefully dated and stamped. "I took this sample this morning. It's of your hair. All I have to do is submit it for testing, and the DNA will be a perfect match for the hair I yanked out of Kaitou KID's head last year."
Kaito made a swipe for it, snarling.
"I've collected over thirty samples of your hair already. You won't be able to find them all."
"Why haven't you done anything about it?" Kaito just about howled. "Did you just want to blackmail me like Kudou does?" Something ugly twisted in his gut, made him want to hurt Hakuba somehow, no matter how petty. "You really are just half the detective Kudou is, at least he was honest about it from the start."
Hakuba's fist snapped out and in a moment, Kaito was lying on the pavement, trying to shake the bells out of his ears.
"Are you done?" Hakuba's voice came from above. That jab about his half-Japanese status must have sent him over the edge.
"Done." Kaito struggled to his feet. The tall young man scowled down at him, massaging his fist. Something tickled Kaito's upper lip. He licked and tasted blood. His blood was on Hakuba's clenched hand too. "How's that for a DNA profile?" he grumbled. His head was still spinning a little, and he felt a hand on his shoulder suddenly grab him and keep him from tipping. Of course, it was Hakuba again.
"I'm sorry," Hakuba said, his voice weirdly hoarse and restrained. "I just got really mad all of a sudden, I don't usually..."
"Fuck off." Kaito batted away Hakuba's helping hands. "I'll get home on my own."
He turned away and trudged down the street, back to the Ramen shop. Pulling out his cellphone, he plopped down.
"You alright?" the shopkeeper asked, peering out the door, looking for the assailant.
"I'm fine; it's nothing."
The shopkeeper grabbed a first-aid kit from behind the counter, and pushed it into Kaito's face. "Are you sure? I can call the cops for you."
Kaito accepted the box, but shook his head. "I'll be fine. It was my fault, anyways." On his cell, he found the icon for speed-dialing Jii. What a great night this had turned out to be.
Author's Note:
Hi everyone! I'm sorry that I've gone MIA for so long! Honestly though, I'll have to go right back to being MIA. Right now I'm working on finishing a book that I will be publishing and selling for real money! It is a textbook on an Elven language found in Lord of the Rings. Believe it or not, outside of being a Detective Conan fan and a linguist, I'm a conlanger who is one of the world's most fluent users of Tolkien's Elven languages. The book I'm writing should be done within the next month (I hope so, anyways), and I can then go back to posting on these fanfics. But, until then, making a living is taking precedence. If you're curious, when I've finally gotten it printed and ready to ship, I'll let you know where to find it. If enough people are curious, I'll include that information in author's notes on my fanfics and on my profile.
Ad-'ovanathab? – Could we please meet again?
Athon = yes | Avon = no