"Whoa! Beavis, slow down! Where are we going?!" Deidra shouted as Cornholio finally came to a stop in a wooded-area.
"I think we are far-enough away..." He grumbled as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Though nobody was in sight, for miles, there was no way the hooded-blonde was going to let his guard down.
"Beavis, what's going on?" Deidra asked while trying to catch her breath.
"I am not Beavis..." Cornholio snarled, darkly.
"What? What do you mean?" Deidra questioned in confusion.
"Allow me to introduce myself: I am The Great Cornholio! You must come with me, if you want to be with my counterpart..." Cornholio explained as he held his hands up.
"So, you're like a split personality?" Deidra asked in slight amazement.
"Si! I guess you could say you have two amantes in one..." Cornholio flirted, provoking a blush and a shy giggle from Deidra. Beavis had always flirted with her but never this smoothly, and there was something about that Hispanic-accent that really gave her chills.
"But that doesn't matter now! What matters now, is getting you out of here! Run away with me!" Cornholio demanded.
"W-What?!" Deidra gasped.
"Your parents...Butthead...they do not want us to be together; we must leave them all behind so you and Beavis can start a new life, together..." Cornholio explained.
"I would love that but...are you sure that's what you want?" Deidra asked, caring more about her boyfriend's happiness than her own.
"Me? No, my feelings do not matter here but if we don't do this...it will make the other-me cry..." Cornholio explained with a small-sigh.
"Okay...So what's the plan?" Deidra nodded in agreement and determination. Deidra and Cornholoio had begun to set their plan into motion once night had fallen as Deidra fearfully walked along the road, in search of a perfect target. Said-target did not take long to arrive as Todd could be spotted driving his rusty, pickup-truck along the road. Todd pulled up beside Deidra and rolled down his window with a flirtatious-smirk.
"Hey, baby...Need a ride?" Todd flirted.
"F-F-Funny you should ask, s-sugar..." Deidra played along as she leaned against the door of Todd's truck, attempting to flirt back.
"I'll give ya ride all night..." Todd grinned as Deidra silently prayed that Cornholio would hurry up and fulfill his side of the plan. Her prayers were answered when Cornholio leaped on top of Todd's truck and hung his head over Todd's windshield to flash him a sinister-grin.
"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" Cornholio roared. Todd screamed for help as he was mercilessly-attacked by Beavis' alter-ego but his screams went unheard in the secluded-area as Cornholio and Deidra stole his truck from him, leaving him, unconscious, on the side of the road with his pants around his ankles.
"I hear Mexico is romantic around this time of month..." Cornholio let Deidra know where they were heading to as he drove along the darkened-road. He then helped himself to the box of Skittles that was sitting on Todd's dashboard as this would allow him to stick around for a few hours longer. It did not take them too long to reach Mexico, since Highland was fairly-close to California's border. Cornholio came to a stop just outside of a Mexican-club that was on the side of the road.
"Why'd we stop at this bar?" Deidra asked as Cornholio got out of the truck.
"Stay in the truck and allow me to do the talking..." Cornholio ordered firmly, before approaching the club's bouncer. After a brief-conversation with the bouncer, Cornholio returned to the truck and reopened the door to speak with his counterpart's girlfriend.
"What was that all about?" Deidra asked again.
"I just got us a way to make some money; c'mon." Corholio replied, before excitedly yanking Deidra out of the car, by the arm and excitedly-dragging her into the club. It turns out that Cornholio was speaking with the bouncer about getting him and Deidra one-night, temporary-jobs as body-guards and thankfully, The club-owner would be willing to pay handsomely for such jobs.
"But Beavis..." Deidra began when Cornholio shot her an icy-glare in return.
"I mean, Cornholio; I don't know how to fight..." Deidra complained as Corholio loaded as much sugar as he could into the free-Shirley Temple that his job allowed him access to.
"You just leave the fighting to me dear; I promised the other me that I would handle everything else..." Cornholio replied, before downing his Shirley Temple in one swig. He then took a bite of the free-taco he was offered only to spit out the chewed-up bite he had taken from it with a gag and a wretch.
"You call this a taco?! This is a disgrace to my home country of Lake Titty-Caca!" Cornholio complained, before discarding his taco by tossing it to the already-dirty, tile-floor. The taco slid across the floor and into the crowd of dancing-teens as a majority of the group of teen leapt out of the way of the sliding-taco's path, causing the massive crowd to part like The Red Sea. Almost everyone in the crowd then proceeded to glare at Corholio, before continuing their dance-sessions.
"Cornholio, I'm serious; what if we get into a bar-fight?! Are you sure you can handle all of these people?!" Deidra worried.
"Of course I am, for I am The Great Corholio and the streets shall flow with the blood of the nonbelievers!" Cornholio replied bravely as he trembled with excitement. Cornholio and Deidra then both took some time to observe the surrounding-crowd that filled the building as almost everyone in the crowd were slam-dancing with each other.
"I bet I could dance better than these idiotas too!" Cornolio snickered, before dramatically-sliding onto the dance floor and knocking over several of the other dancers as he did so.
"Hit it!" Cornholio ordered as he gestured for the D.J. To play some fitting-music for him to dance to. The D.J. did as told and began playing upbeat, techno music.
"C'mon! C'mon! Turn the radio on! It's Friday night and I won't be long! I gotta hide my hair and put my blue-hood on!" Chornholio began to sing as he began to do a rather-provocative dance that involved him thrusting his hips and clapping his hands over his head.
"It's Saturday and I won't be home 'til I hit the dance-floor! Hit the dance-floor! I've got all I need! No I ain't got cash! I ain't got cash but I got you, baby!" Cornholio sang as he began to do The Robot, before flashing Deidra a flirtatious-smirk, causing her to smile in a goofy, lovestruck-fashion.
"Baby, I-I-I-I don't need dollar-bills to have fun tonight!" Cornholio sang as swayed his hips, kneeling down in front of Deidra.
"No cheap thrills!" The crowd chanted, beginning to enjoy both Cornholio's singing and dancing.
"Baby, I-I-I-I don't need dollar-bills to have fun tonight!" Cornholio continued as he stepped back up into a standing-position. He then twirled around gracefully before striking a seductive-pose as Deidra admired both his beauty and his body.
"No cheap thrills!" The crowd chanted once again as Cornholio gestured for Deidra to dance with him.
"I don't need no mo-o-oney, as long as I can feel the beat! I don't need no mo-o-oney, as long as I keep da-a-a-ancing!" Cornholio sang as Deidra gracefully-twirled into his arms with a small-blush. Deidra then swung both of her legs over as Cornholio lifted her into the air, dipped her then provocatively pinned her against the nearest wall. One of the party-goers became jealous of Cornholio's impressive-dancing and approached the still, dancing-couple to confront him, despite being much shorter than Cornholio.
"La! La-la-la! La-la! La! La!
La-la-la! La-la!" Cornholio hummed as he ground his rear-end up against Deidra's crotch. He stopped this action, however when he felt the shorter, party-goer tug on his shorts to get his attention.
"Alright, crazy-legs; you and me, right here, right now!" The smaller, party-goer demanded. Deidra gasped in horror as she clung to Cornholio's arm for safety. She was afraid that someone would want to pick a fight with her boyfriend's alter-ego at some point, that night.
"Heh-heh! Do not fear, my dear; this weakling is no match for the stamina that is The Great Cornholio!" Cornholio reassured, before leaping onto the party-goer's shoulders and burying the party-goer's face into his crotch. He then did a backflip, using the strength of his legs to flip the party-goer and slam him onto his back, on the hard, tile-floor. The party-goer's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he began to twitch and vomit profusely from his head-injury.
"Heh! Ed sure is a good actor..." One of the party-goer's friend's whispered to another one of his friends.
"Ed?" The other friend asked in mild-horror as he began to realize that Ed was not faking his seizure.
"Now, do any of you other weaklings want to face off against The Great Cornholio or do you want to party?!" Cornholio asked with a smirk. The fearful-crowd just went back to dancing as the D.J. played a familiar-beat.
"Hey Mr. D.J. song pon de replay! Mr. D.J. won'tcha turn the music up?! Ah-ah! All the gial wantin' some more-ah! Oh, Mr. D.J. won'tcha turn the music up?!
Hey Mr! Please Mr. D.J! Tell me if ya hear me! Turn the music up!" Cornholio sang as he danced along with the crowd.
When the night was over with and the bar had been cleared out, Cornholio and Deidra collected their pay from the bouncer, who was willing to pay them abundantly for their hard-work.
"I can not thank you enough, senior; this has been the first time in a long time that we had a nice, safe, clean, dance-party here." The bouncer thanked as he handed the large amount of money over to Cornholio.
"It is all in a day's work for the almighty bunghole!" Corholio replied with a smirk. He then groaned sickly, beginning to feel dizzy as the sugar-rush began to ware off.
"Cornholio? Are you okay?" Deidra asked in concern.
"Come on; we have to go!" Cornholio replied as he took Deidra by the hand and lead her out of the bar.
TO BE CONTINUED...