QUESTION 24
Dear Mr. Joker
Hello. I have a problem with my next door neighbor, they keep playing their music very, very loud and it keeps me up nearly all night! I'd be lucky if I got a half an hour's rest. The landlord won't do anything about it! After all, it's their brat that's doing it! What should I do? I'm getting desperate here!
PS... Why are you obsessed with the big ugly bat anyway? Or are you two bedmates? That would explain why you're always yearning after him.
Sincerely, Brennen
- - - REPLY - - -
eXcuse mE?
Bed MaTes?
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You meAn...
...me…...
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and
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tHe BATmaN?
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i, uh... I soLved BreNnen's noise pRobLem.
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...i tieD him to hIs bed,
...FishEd into boTh of his
...eaR canaLs with a
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fonDUe forK
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and riPPed out his eaRDrums.
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noW he can'T hear hIs neighBor's Loud musIc. pRoBLem soLved.
. . . and For the RecoRD, brennEn wasn't eXaggerAting. His neiGhbor's music reaLLy is loud. And iT's not JusT loud duRing the nIght,
but
duriNg the daY, as weLL.
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'rouNd the cLock, you might saY.
ConStant.
so Loud, that it dRowns out aLL other SouNds. LiKe screAming.
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LikE bRenneN's screaminG.
i Paid him tHat visit tWo nights ago, and theRe's Been no menTIon in the neWs of anYone finding hiM. I guess he's stiLL
tied
to the Bed,
...bECause no one Can hear his scReaMs oVer his neighBor's music.
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Shhhhhhhhh...
LiSten... can you hEar that? iT's the duLcet sounD of iRonY.
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Can YoU hear it, bRennEn?
Mmmmmm, gueSS not.
you cAn't heaR anYthing anYmOre.
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Ha Ha, you'Re deaF. anD in eXcrucIating paIn with no one to heLp you.
kNow wHat? i acTuallY tieD your bonds in a waY thaT wouLd allow you to esCape unaSSisted, if you'D tWist your wrisTs in the right waY. i'D teLL you how...
...but I suspEct mY inStructIon wouLd faLL on deaF ears.
Ha.
-JoKER
-4oC, 2009.10.12