Authors Note:
So this is the part where we get into Clary and Jace's past, and if you aren't comfortable with topics such as sexual assault, drugs, self harm, or suicide, just know this is your warning. I don't really go into gory details, they are simply part of the plot and are mentioned but still, I thought you all deserved a little warning, and I promise Malec will pick up soon! Let me know what you think! :)
Chapter Six:
Clary sat in the courtroom waiting for her name to be called up to the stand. She wanted to be anywhere but here, but in order for Jonathan to keep his sorry ass in jail, this was where she was needed.
Clary had tuned all the legal talk out. She really didn't care about anything other than what she was going to say. Jonathan's parole hearing was in front of a whole new jury who didn't know about the case and that was nerve wracking to Clary. They would hear Jonathan's protests to get out before they heard her side, and Jonathan could be very convincing when he wanted to be.
"Jonathan Morgenstern." Clary heard the judge call and he walked up and sat on the stand after he was sworn in.
"Why do you believe you should be up for parole Mr. Morgenstern?" His lawyer asked.
"I have changed. My actions 4 years ago were the actions of a child. I am not a child anymore. I am an adult, and I am no danger to society." Jonathan said and Clary rolled her eyes. His perfectly scripted answer wasn't fooling Clary. He might be getting sympathy from everyone else, but Clary was ready to rip his reasons in half.
Clary tuned out the rest of the questions. She was so furious that she just needed to stay in her own head. Clary noticed Jonathan finally got off the stand and knew her name was going to be called any minute.
"Clarissa Fray." She heard and she took a deep breath and stood up and made her way to the stand. After she was sworn in, she took a seat and prepared to let loose.
"Clarissa, is there any reason why Jonathan shouldn't be eligible for parole?" Her lawyer asked and Clary let out a dry laugh.
"There are several." Clary answered.
"Would you care to elaborate?" The lawyer asked and Clary nodded.
"I don't care how much jail has changed Jonathan, I don't care if society shouldn't be scared of him, or that he regrets what he did." Clary started and tears threatened to spill, but she wasn't giving Jonathan the satisfaction of her tears again. "I would be scared of him. I would live in constant fear that he would come after me. He ruined me, and he scared me for life. He deserves jail, and he deserves to rot in that cell for the rest of his miserable life."
"Objection!" Jonathan's lawyer called. "She's discrediting my client."
"He should be discredited!" Clary shouted, not caring that she was in court. "Your client is a monster, and he shouldn't even be able to have parole considered."
"Clearly she's very hostile your honor, she's unreliable." The lawyer said and Clary lost her shit at that comment.
"Unreliable?" Clary yelled. "Unreliable? I'm sorry, but who did Jonathan rape, me or you sir?" Clary said and there was a gasp from the others in the courtroom. "Jonathan might say he's changed, but that doesn't matter. He raped me. His own sister. I was 15. He was my brother, and he took advantage of me. He is almost a foot taller than me, and he is stronger. I stood no chance, I stood no chance." Clary said in a smaller voice. "I have had an incredibly hard road. What he did to me really messed me up. It took me a year in a special therapy facility before I was allowed to be back in society. He took something from me that I can never get back. He took my virginity, my innocence, he took my ability to consent away, he forced himself on me. He tied me to my bed so that I wouldn't run away. He forced a sedative down my throat so I would stop struggling after he spiked the drink he gave me. He is a monster, and if you let him back out on the street, you aren't just jeopardizing my safety, but the safety of every other girl in society." Clary got up and got off the stand. She wanted nothing more to stab her brother in the eye with a pencil.
She stormed out of the courtroom after getting the keys from her mom and got into the car. She didn't want to be in that room any longer. Hearing Jonathan say that he's changed is was the biggest load of bullshit she had ever heard, and frankly she didn't care. Clary dozed off hoping that the trial would be over soon, and she was woken up when Jocelyn got into the car. Clary rubbed her eyes and looked at her mom.
"Well?" Clary asked and Jocelyn looked at her.
"Jonathan has no chance of parole ever again." Jocelyn said and Clary felt like for the first time in 4 years she could truly breath again. Jocelyn started the car and they made their way home. Clary had already missed three days of school, and she didn't want to go for the rest of the week. Jocelyn knew how hard this was for her and didn't protest her request to stay home.
Clary locked herself in her room as soon as she got home, and put some sad music on and stared at nothing. There was nothing going through Clary's mind. She was completely numb and empty. Reliving the worst moment of her life took its toll on her today. She just wanted to forget but she couldn't. It haunted her every day, and crept into her dreams every night.
When the sun started to set Clary got off her bed and made her way into her bathroom. She sat on the edge of the tub and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't recognize the girl she was looking at. She saw herself as a shell of the girl she was 4 years ago. There was nothing more to her anymore, and she was still having an incredibly hard time accepting that. She got up and opened the cabinet and grabbed the razor. She slowly broke it apart, and stared at the blade. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she didn't care. She slowly set the edge of the blade on her already cut up wrists. She sunk the blade in until she felt the warm liquid slowly make it's way down her arm. Her release was something she needed for the past few days, and she took a deep breath and basked in the heavenly way her clean white towel turned crimson as she let the stress of the last 4 years leave her body.
By the end of the week Jace was really worried about Clary. She hadn't been in school all week, and it was really starting to alarm him. He had really started to care about Clary in the last couple months, and even thought they weren't the type of friends to talk about what was bothering them, didn't mean that he wouldn't listen if she was having a hard time.
Jace was walking out of school when he spotted Simon and Izzy talking to each other. He made his way over to them and they both stopped talking and smiled at him.
"What's up Jace?" Izzy asked.
"Clary hasn't been in school all week and I was wondering if she told you anything about it." Jace directed his question at Simon knowing they were friends.
"She told me she was dealing with something this week and wouldn't be in for a few days. I don't know why she's missed the whole week. Why?" Simon asked and Izzy laughed.
"He's worried about her." She said and Jace sighed. "This is weird. I've never seen Jace care about anyone before."
"I just want to make sure she's okay." Jace said and Simon nodded and pulled something out of his bag.
"This is her homework. I was going to drop it off later but you can take it to her if you're really that worried." Simon said and Jace took the folder. "She lives in the apartments across the street from Taki's. Just go in and up the stairs and that's where she lives. Its number 6."
"Thanks Simon." Jace said and he turned and made a beeline for his car. He drove to where the diner was and got out and looked up at the building. He walked up and went inside and up the stairs just like Simon said and was greeted with a door that had the number 6 on it. He slowly knocked and after a few minutes someone opened it.
"What can I help you with?" The woman said and she was the exact replica of Clary only older.
"My name is Jace, I got to school with Clary. I brought all the homework she missed this week." Jace said and Jocelyn nodded and welcomed him in.
"I thought Simon was going to bring that over." She said and Jace smiled.
"He was going too but he had some unexpected plans get in the way and he knew I was friends with her." Jace said and Jocelyn nodded. "Is she okay?"
"Oh, uh yea. We just had some family business to take care of. She'll be back to school on Monday." Jocelyn said and Jace nodded.
"Do you mind if I give her the homework, I'd really like to see her." Jace asked and he could tell Jocelyn was hesitant but than slowly nodded.
"Her room is down the hall." Jocelyn said and Jace nodded and made his way to her room. He gently knocked on the door and waited until he heard a few footsteps and than was greeted with those green eyes that he had missed so much.
"Jace? What are you going here?" Clary asked clearly surprised to see him standing there.
"I was worried about you. Simon gave me your homework and told me where you lived." Jace said and Clary nodded and moved aside to invite him into her room. "Are you okay?"
"That's a loaded question." She mumbled but it was still audible to Jace. "Just some stuff came up and I had to deal with it." Clary said trying to act like it wasn't a big deal but Jace knew better.
"I can see how conflicted you are Clary. If you need to talk, I'm always up for listening." Jace said and Clary smiled a little.
"I don't want to bore you with the horrors of my past." Clary said and that sparked Jace's interest.
"How about we match horror for horror?" Jace asked and Clary looked at him with confusion.
"What do you mean?" Clary asked. They had both moved to her bed and were sitting down facing each other.
"You tell me something about your horrible past, and I'll share something about mine. That way you don't feel so alone." Jace said and Clary took a moment to process that but than nodded her head. "I'll go first." Jace said and Clary nodded again. "My parents died when I was young, and I was put in the foster system. Before I was placed with the Lightwoods, I was in a bunch of horrible houses." Clary nodded and Jace gestured for her to share.
"I have a brother." Clary simply said.
"That doesn't sound too horrible." Jace said and Clary shook her head.
"He's in jail." Clary simply said. Jace knew there must be more to the story so he decided to share something else about himself.
"I was in one foster home, and their biological daughter had a huge crush on me. I was about 13, and she was very flirtatious. Her parents thought that I was the one coming on to her, but I wasn't interested. She wasn't my type." Jace said and Clary laughed. "One night I woke up and she was just standing in my room watching me. I screamed because she scared the shit out of me, and her father ran into my room. He saw his daughter and assumed that I manipulated her to come into my room. He beat me really bad that night, and I was moved the next day."
"That's terrible." Clary said and Jace nodded.
"It took them a week to find another family, but that family was the Lightwoods, and I've been with them ever since." Jace explained and Clary nodded.
"That's great." Clary said and Jace nodded.
"I'm very fortunate." Jace said and Clary nodded. She took a deep breath and looked anywhere but at Jace.
"I'm assuming you've seen them." Clary finally said and Jace nodded. "I have a total of 45. I've been getting better, but sometimes everything is just too much." Clary said and Jace nodded again.
"How long?" Jace asked.
"4 years." Clary said as she took another deep breath. He could see tears pooling in her eyes and decided he'd go again.
"When I was 14 I started getting into drugs." Jace said and Clary finally looked at him. The tears that were once trying to make an escape had gone away. "I wasn't doing anything crazy at first, mainly just weed, or when someone could steal alcohol from their parents we'd drink."
"Why?" Clary asked.
"We were all foster kids. We had a place behind an abandoned building that we'd all meet up at. I'd known most of those guys my whole time in the system and we knew what we were all going through so we got together every now and than." Jace admitted and Clary nodded. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal until one day the one kids brought cocaine. He said his foster brother sold it and gave him a free sample. We were young, and we didn't know any better so we all tried it."
"What happened?" Clary asked.
"It was one of the most interesting experiences of my life." Jace said. "But I didn't realize how addictive it could be. I noticed that after the first try I wanted to do it again. I found some shady dealer and bought some and immediately snorted it."
"How long were you addicted?" Clary asked.
"8 months. Alec followed me to the building one day to see where I always snuck off too. He saw me in the middle of a drug deal and confronted me about it." Jace said. "He told me if I didn't clean myself up he would tell Maryse and I would be moved again. I didn't want that. I finally found a family that wasn't cruel and I actually got along with."
"What happened?" Clary asked as she sat up. Jace knew she was curious.
"I'll tell you that later." Jace said and Clary shook her head.
"I had to go speak at my brothers parole hearing." Clary admitted.
"Parole?" Jace questions and Clary nodded. "That's a good thing, right?"
"No." Clary said so fast that it stunned Jace a little.
"Why not?"
"He's not a good person." Clary said as she continued to avoid eye contact with Jace. It was quiet for a moment so Clary continued. "He…..raped someone." Clary barely chocked out and somehow Jace knew it was a lot more personal than she was leading on. Tears were streaming down her face now, and Jace knew she was lost in her head somewhere.
"Clary?" Jace said after a couple minutes of silence and she looked at him and her eyes were empty. Jace moved closer to her and hesitantly reached out and grabbed her hands for support for her to continue.
"It was me." Clary said softly. Jace felt like he just had the wind knocked out of him. "I was 15."
"You don't have to continue Clary. I'm not going to force you to talk about it." Jace said and Clary shook her head.
"I need too. I can't keep it to myself anymore." Clary sobbed and Jace got up and sat next to her. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him. Her arm rested against his torso and he could feel the tears falling onto his shirt. "I was 15. My mom had to go out of town for work and Jonathan and I were left home alone. Everything was normal, and the next thing I remember was I felt a little sick. Jonathan offered to take me to my room, and I agreed. When he put my on my bed he started tying my hands to the bed so I wouldn't run." Clary said and Jace couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I started to struggle, he opened my mouth and put a sedative down my throat and I couldn't feel anything for a while. That was until he started. I was in so much pain. After he was done I cried for hours. The next day I tried to kill myself."
"What happened?" Jace asked and he could feel her smile.
"I'll tell you that later." She said and Jace laughed.
"After Alec told me to tell Maryse I kinda freaked. I ran away for the night. I didn't want to go back to the house." Jace said.
"Where did you go?" Clary asked.
"Slept in some park. I was a little bugged out on cocaine, so I don't really remember much of it. The next day I went and told Maryse. I figured getting whatever punishment from her was better than getting removed."
"What did she do?"
"Your turn." Jace answered and Clary laughed.
"I was unsuccessful, obviously. After my failed attempt I started cutting. My mom came home and she found me sleeping on the couch and she saw my arms. She lost it. She wouldn't let me leave the house until I told her what happened."
"How long did that take?" Jace asked.
"Two days." Clary said and Jace continued to draw circles on her back. "She reported Jonathan, and they did a rape kit, and found it to be true. When we went to trial Jonathan admitted to it."
"What kind of sick bastard admits to that?" Jace asked and he felt Clary shrug. "What happened?"
"Your turn." Clary said.
"Maryse was really disappointed in me. I thought she was going to report me and tell my social worker and I'd be removed."
"What did she do?" Clary asked.
"She told me that she wanted to help me get clean." Jace said. "She admitted me into a rehab center. It took a year to get clean from the alcohol, cocaine, and weed, but I did it."
"That's great."
"Yea, I thought that after I got out Maryse would tell me to get out of her house, but she actually adopted me."
"Wow." Clary said and Jace could hear the excitement in her voice.
"Alec and her saved my life, and I couldn't be more grateful for them." Jace said.
"Jonathan told the court that he thought we were soul mates, and that we were supposed to be together. He couldn't stand seeing me with other guys. Which didn't make sense because I've never had a boyfriend." Clary said.
"Really?" Jace asked.
"Yea, maybe we'll talk about that a different day. He convinced himself that the only way to be with me was by force." Clary said and Jace stiffened. He hated what she went through. "He went sent away for like 10 years, and was up for parole. At the hearing though I think they sentenced him for life. He won't get the possibility of parole ever again."
"That's good." Jace said and he felt Clary nod.
"I went to a special therapy facility for a year to try and cope. It helped a lot, but it still gets hard." Clary said and they were silent. They didn't mind the silence; they were quite comfortable, until there was a knock on the door. It opened a second later and Jocelyn stood there.
"Sorry, but dinner is ready Clary." Jocelyn said and Clary nodded. "Would you like to stay for dinner Jace?"
"No thank you. I have to get home. I never told my parents I was coming here." Jace said and he stood up. He turned back towards Clary and smiled. "I enjoyed out little therapy session. We should do it again sometime."
"Sounds like a plan." Clary said and Jace turned around and headed out of the apartment. Clary and Jocelyn stayed in her room until they both heard the door closed.
"What was that all about?" Jocelyn asked.
"We just talked." Clary said.
"About what happened." Jocelyn said. It wasn't a question, but a statement.
"Yea, we exchanged stories." Clary said and Jocelyn nodded. "It was really helpful."
"I'm glad sweetheart. Dinner is going to get cold." Jocelyn said and Clary nodded and got up. For the first time in years she felt like she finally had someone who understood her. Maybe not in the way that was completely understanding, but in a way where she didn't feel alone, and it made her smile, a real genuine smile, for the first time in years.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Simon and Izzy decided that they were going to hang out since Jace was taking Clary's homework to her. Izzy was excited to be spending time with Simon. She liked getting to know everything about him, and he truly made her happy. Izzy was nervous for today because they were going back to his house and there was a chance that his mom and sister were going to be there and that scared Izzy. They walked in and nobody was home which was a relief to Izzy.
"You want anything to drink?" Simon asked. "We have soda, juice, water, iced tea."
"Iced tea works." Izzy said and Simon nodded and went into the kitchen. Izzy took a seat on the couch and waited for Simon to come back when the front door opened. Izzy's chest felt extremely tight. In walked two women who looked similar and she couldn't breath.
"Oh. Who are you?" The older one said and Izzy opened her mouth to speak but it was completely dry and she couldn't form a complete thought.
"Mom, Rebecca. What are you doing home?" Simon said as he reentered the room and Izzy was relieved.
"I had a half day for work, and Rebecca wanted to come home so we could all have a family night. I didn't realize you were having company." His mom said.
"It would have been nice to be informed of the plans." Simon said as he made his way over to Izzy. He handed her the iced tea and sat down next to her.
"You rarely have plans Simon, I didn't realize you needed to check your schedule before telling you we were going to have a family night." Rebecca said and Simon laughed.
"Well, mom, Rebecca, this is my friend Isabelle. Izzy, this is my mom and sister." Simon said and Izzy waved.
"It's nice to meet you both. I can go if you want. I don't want to ruin your night." Izzy said and Simon's mom and sister smiled.
"Don't be ridiculous. Would you like to join us?" Simon's mom said and Izzy looked at Simon and he just smiled.
"I'd like that." Izzy said.
"Wonderful, we're playing Life tonight." Rebecca cheered and Simon groaned. "Oh Simon, calm down. Maybe you can actually beat Isabelle tonight."
"Oh, I'm very competitive. I hardly ever lose." Izzy said and Simon groaned ever more. "Having three brothers who are all super competitive kinda rubs off after awhile."
"You have three brothers?" Rebecca asked and Izzy nodded. "I can't even handle one, how do you manage three?" She asked as she took a seat next to Izzy.
"Well, the one is couple years older than me so he isn't so hard on me. My younger brother is only 9, so he may be competitive but he's not very good. And my adoptive brother is my age, and we are constantly at each others throats. It's always a competition between us."
"I'm lucky Simon is terrible at board games. I kick his ass every single time." Rebecca said and Izzy couldn't stop laughing. She liked Rebecca, she was really nice and they seemed to get along. "Well, mom and I are going to start dinner. Have fun you two."
Rebecca and Simon's mom got up and went into the kitchen. Simon and Izzy sat there for a couple minutes in silence before Izzy smiled to herself, looked at Simon and started to speak.
"You're sister seems really cool." Izzy said and Simon smiled.
"Yea, she's pretty great." Simon said and it was quiet again. "Want to watch a movie?" Simon finally said and Izzy nodded. "Do you have a preference?"
"Nope." Izzy said and Simon smiled. He went over, picked up a movie and put it in.
"Prepare for the best film you've ever seen." Simon says and than the theme song to Star Wars started playing. Izzy was never one to watch such a geeky movie, but she had no problem doing it for Simon. They sat on the couch and watched the movie, and surprisingly Izzy enjoyed it, but she enjoyed it so much more because she was watching it with Simon.
Later that night they were all sitting around the table playing the game of Life. Izzy had never had so much fun in her whole life. She understood why Simon was such a great guy. His mom and sister were just like him. They were always laughing and making fun of each other but it was all in good fun. She was glad they had invited her to stay.
"Fork it over Simon." Izzy said and he groaned.
"How come every one of my children had broken a bone and you're the only doctor that can fix them?" Simon said as he paid Izzy.
"Stop having so many kids Simon." Rebecca said and Izzy laughed.
It's not my fault my wife and I are totally in love and want to expand our wonderful family." Simon said and Rebecca and his mom laughed. I couldn't get the image of Simon with a baby out of my head. He would be really good with babies.
"Whatever you say Simon, just give me the money." Izzy said and everyone laughed. By the end of the game Izzy had won and Simon had come in dead last. It was almost 10 and Izzy had to get going. Simon walked her to the door and they lingered for a little while. "I had a really fun time tonight."
"So did I." Simon said. "I'm glad you stayed."
"Me too." Izzy said. It was a split second decision. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his cheek. "Goodnight Simon."
"Goodnight Isabelle." Simon said and Izzy walked to her car. She got in and took a deep breath. Before her Friday nights would be spent getting drunk and making out with a bunch of different dudes before finally settling on one to take for the night. Tonight she watched Star Wars, ate lasagna, and played Life with Simon and his family and it had been the best Friday night she's ever had.
~/~/~/~/~/~/~
Alec's Friday night wasn't as thrilling. His roommate asked him to accompany him to a party and be the DD and Alec had nothing better to do. He didn't mind Jem, but they weren't best friends by any means. So there Alec was, standing in the corner of this party watching all the people having fun. He never wanted to be the loner, and that's exactly what he was. He didn't have Magnus, and the friends that he did have weren't really party people. Alec tried to blend in as much as he could, and he didn't mind talking to the drunk girls who came up to talk to him, but when he caught a glimpse of Magnus dancing with another guy his heart was ripped out of his chest. He tried to control his breathing and pry his eyes away from him but he found it incredibly hard.
Eventually Alec couldn't take it anymore and he left the room. He walked outside and the fresh air hit him like a brick wall. He knew Magnus wouldn't wait forever for him, but it didn't mean seeing him dancing on another guy didn't hurt. Alec knew he promised to take care of Jem tonight but he couldn't stay at that party anymore. He texted Jem and told him he felt sick and was heading home. Jem texted back something very incoherent and Alec left. He truly felt sick seeing his Magnus grinding on another guy, but in all reality he wasn't Alec's, and Alec knew that, but that didn't mean Alec had to like him moving on.
Magnus saw Alec rush out of the room and part of Magnus felt proud that he still had an effect on Alec, but the other part wanted to run after him and tell him that he was still his, and all he had to do was come out, but Magnus wasn't going to be that guy. He wasn't going to be the guy who ran after the guy who wasn't ready to be in a openly gay relationship. Deep down he knew Alec was special, which was why this was so incredibly hard, but nonetheless he took another sip of his drink and continued drinking, pretending that the guy he was dancing with had those beautiful sapphire eyes, and jet black hair.