Hello Everyone! Quick PSA: I am moving up the deadline for the poll to Tuesday at midnight. It looks like Family Always will be finished by the end of this week, and I want at least the first chapter of the new story posted by the time I finish. So please, please take the time to complete it!

To Hippiechic81: It's a different Jack, not Hotch's son.

To Guest: Bam, bam, baaaam

To tannerrose5: He's got a one-track mind. I'd like to see it as him trying to misdirect Doyle's focus by convincing him that the team isn't the tight knit family he thinks they are. Trust me, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

To ahowell1993: I'd like to think they would too. Dave would def kick Spencer's ass if he hurt Ashley though!

To everyone else: keep on reading and reviewing! Hope y'all are loving reading this as much as I'm loving writing it!

-Xoxo Elisa

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' amusement.

Chapter 17:

"So you're alive." He said coldly. "None of you thought that it might have been necessary to start looking for me as soon as I was taken? Or am I expendable? Trade in one genius for another?" "What?" Seaver asked, "no, no that wasn't it at all! We were in the hospital: Hotch got shot, Emily was beaten to unconsciousness, and the rest of us barely got out of the building before it exploded." You all came that close to death? He flinched at the thought, unable to keep his emotions from betraying the unfeeling facade he had developed.

He had been so relieved that Doyle had lied to him, but it terrified him how slim the line between the lie and the truth had been. Seaver's eyes were filled with a silent pleading as she whispered, "It was fourteen hours before the doctors would release all of us. We got on a plane as soon as we could. We were all terrified that we would be too late." "Who's we?" he hissed. "The team, JJ, me." "Really?" Reid snorted derisively, "Your skills as a profiler must be sorely lacking if you thought for a second that the team or JJ would be worried about me." "You don't mean that." Seaver murmured.

Time to hammer the nail on the 'get Ashley to hate me' coffin. "Exactly why are you here?" he demanded. She flinched but did not relinquish her grip on his hand. "I needed to see that you were safe." she whispered, "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't." Damn, he thought, she isn't making this easy. With as much venom as he could muster he hissed, "How many times do I need to tell you that I am not interested! Are you really that desperate for someone to love you?"

He barely prevented his flinch at the way she jerked away from him, almost as if she'd been slapped. Please forgive me for what I'm about to do, he silently pleaded. "What? Is it because mommy and daddy never loved you that you throw yourself at anyone who's civil to you? Because that's truly pathetic. But you knew that already. Deep, deep down you know that no one will ever love you, not once they learn about your past. About how daddy killed all those women because they reminded him how a woman produced his deepest regret, you." That should do it! He thought, remorse eating away at his soul, I surpassed the point of no return.

He figured that his words would send Ashley flying out the door, instead she had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling his face to within an inch of hers. "I don't know what it is you think you need to do," she hissed, "but I do know this is not you. You're trying to cut all ties with us to protect us, but we can help you!" Damn it Ashley. Why can't you just believe me? "You're wrong. About me, about the team, about everything. I have never been a part of this team and I never will. And for that, I am so so relieved. At least I can go home each night knowing that I am not some narcissistic, egomaniacal asshole with a chip on their shoulder. At least I don't believe that I am better than everyone else or that I need to catch killers to wash away my own memories. So you can not believe me, but every word I've spoken is true. I've always kept my true self hidden, but now I no longer need to. So I think now would be a good time for you to leave. If I'm lucky, I'll never have to see you again." He fell back onto his pillow, face flushed and breathing ragged. The gravity of his words had exhausted him and he hoped they would be enough to get her to leave; to get her to hate him. The soft clang of the door told him he'd been successful, leaving him to wonder at what price.

"How is he? Ashley?" Rossi asked, as Seaver stepped outside. The entire team was huddled outside of Reid's room, anxiously awaiting news about their injured colleague. Seaver took a shaky breath before answering, "He's tired, he's anxious, and he can't forget. He's convinced that none of us care about him. Whoever goes in next needs a thick skin and the ability to walk on very thin ice!" The team seemed taken aback by her statement, They think everything Reid said on camera was a lie. They think that he still cares about them, that he's still family. I thought so too, but now I'm not so sure.

Her musings were interrupted by Hotch's quick assessment, "JJ and Prentiss should be the ones to go in." "What?" Prentiss and Morgan asked. "Why can't I go in?" Morgan whined right as Prentiss muttered, "I thought Seaver just said we were on thin ice with Reid! I'm pretty sure that me going in there will just further antagonize him!" Meeting her supervisor's eyes she whispered, "why would he want to talk to someone who's caused him so much pain?" Hotch's eyes glinted with sympathy. "It wasn't your fault Emily." he said softly. Turning to Morgan he said, "First off, Reid needs someone to explain to him what the hell is going on. Prentiss was under with Doyle for almost three years, therefore she's best suited to do the debriefing. We need to know what Doyle's planning, and there's a good chance he might have let something slip in front of Reid. As to why you can't go in Morgan, the last thing Reid needs right now is someone who is going to push him. Alpha male personalities fall under that category; you, me, and Dave are all alpha males, therefore none of us are going in. Seaver just pointed out how leery he is of the team right now, so she and Garcia are both out. And I doubt it would be a good idea for Prentiss to go in on her own. JJ and Reid have been close so the minute he started at the BAU, he'd respond better to her than any of us. She's the only one he didn't say anything about during that first video, so chances are he'll respond better to her than anyone else. Any other arguments?"

He took the team's silence as acceptance before continuing, "alright, JJ and Emily, you two should go in while he's still conscious." Prentiss sighed in defeat, "alright, just let me know if Clyde and Psia come back. I need to further debrief them and determine what our next steps should be. C'mon JJ, let's go see Reid." The two women had barely crossed the door's threshold when a venomous voice said, "Get out!" "Spence?" JJ asked, her voice tinged with concern, "please don't shut us out. We're here to help you, but you need to let us."

A mixture of terror, concern, and guilt flashed across Reid's features, as he glanced at the woman he considered his closest friend, but it was quickly replaced by a dark scowl. "Right," he scoffed, "you're here to help me. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't need your help, Jennifer? I mean, why would I? You're not a profiler, you're not a genius, you're nothing more than a pretty face. You'd be a great help if I needed someone to bring to social galas, but that pretty face hasn't done me much otherwise. I mean, it didn't stop me from getting shot or from contracting Anthrax. And it certainly didn't help when Tobias Hankle took me. Where were you when that happened Jennifer?"

She flinched at his use of her given name,"Oh wait, that's right, you were battling that incredibly irrational little fear of yours. Who'd have guessed that a trained FBI agent would have such difficulty dealing with dogs? And then, and then to cap off exactly how pathetic you are, you show up as a blubbering mess to the site of my captivity. I never imagined that, after almost forty-eight hours of absolute hell, -where I was cuffed to a chair, beaten with a log, injected numerous times with Dilaudid, forced to choose who lived and who died, subjected to numerous rounds of Russian roulette, dead, resuscitated, forced to dig my own grave, and then kill my own attacker- I would be forced to be the consoler. Forced to give solace to the reason I was put through the worst experience of my life. The reason that I was left in the cold, dark clutches of Dilaudid for four months, with absolutely no one to help me. Do you have any idea how difficult that was? Battling your own demons for so long and begging for the help you know will never come."

JJ opened her mouth to speak, but Reid cut her off, "No, of course you wouldn't. If you had, then maybe you would have tried to help me. But that's when I realized how grateful I should be that you didn't. Every time you've tried to 'help me', you've gotten me into even worse situations. I couldn't have been more relieved when you told me they were transferring you because it was only a matter of time before you got one of us killed." "That's not even close to fair Reid." Prentiss scolded, watching the tears stream down her friend's face. "All JJ has ever done is care about you. Not once has she ever tried to hurt you or put you in a situation where you would be hurt. It was your idea to split up at Hankel's house, or did you forget that?" "Ha, like you would even know Emily." Reid said, turning his hateful words from JJ to her, "You're too busy hiding your own secrets to notice the world around you. Did it ever occur to you that I might not have been in this situation if you'd just been honest with us?"

"That's rich coming from you Spence!" Tears were still streaming down JJ's face, but there was now a fire in her eyes. She'd be damned if Reid succeeded in pushing her away. "You bitch about the fact that no one helped you, but did you ever think that maybe we were waiting for you to say something? To ask for help? Didn't you think we were terrified? I was convinced that I would walk into the office one day and there'd be a phone call saying you'd overdosed, that you were dead! Do you have any idea what that would have done to me?" her voice rose as she was unable to contain the wave of emotion pulsing through her. She hoped her distress would bring back the Spence she knew and loved, the Spence who would do anything to ensure she wasn't hurting. Instead his eyes darkened to blackness as he hissed, "You've just proven my point Jennifer. You're too weak to have ever been a decent FBI agent. Now why don't you run along home, and play that good little housewife role you're so good at."

"Jayje?" Prentiss pleaded, watching her friend storm out the door. Everyone had a point where they broke, and it appeared that Reid had found JJ's. "What the hell was that about?" she demanded, turning back to Reid. "What was what about?" he hissed. "You verbally abusing one of your best friends. Seriously Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you?" Reid's eyes glittered with dark amusement, "I grew weary of pretending to tolerate you all. It's so incredibly liberating when the truth finally comes out, don't you think Emily?" Prentiss shook her head in disbelief, "this isn't you." "And how exactly would you know who I am, huh? It wouldn't have anything to do with the secret you've been hiding for all these years."

"What secret Spencer?" she asked, dread washing down her body. Where the hell is he going with this. Reid's eyes flashed angrily, "like you didn't know. Do you think I'm stupid Emily? I heard what Doyle said, the only reason he took me was because he wanted you to know what it felt like to have your family taken from you. But I guess blood isn't thicker than water. If it had been, then you would've had the decency to tell me that I was your cousin!" Prentiss jerked back as if he'd slapped her. "Cousin?" she whispered hoarsely. Coal-black eyes glared at her. "Don't play dumb with me Emily." Reid hissed, "I know you knew. I just can't believe how much of an idiot I was to ever believe you gave a damn about me." "Spencer." she pleaded, tears filling her eyes. "I think it would be best if you left." the venom was no longer present in Reid's voice, only exhausted anger. A sob threatened to escape from Emily as she turned to leave. "I'm so sorry Spencer." she whispered. She thought that Reid had not heard her, but a quiet voice asked, "who's Declan?" as she closed the door.

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