Chapter 190: Accusations
"Heeey there he is!" Joseph said, as Riku stepped into Namine's room. "Told you he wouldn't be much longer!" He nudged Toby in the ribs. "You owe me fifty munny."
"I don't have any munny."
"Then why'd we bet with it?"
Namine laughed. Riku chuckled with her.
Joseph, Toby, and Namine were sitting on the floor, playing what looked like a game of Go Fish. They were using map cards, though. And… it didn't look like they had very many actual matches in the deck, given what everyone's hands looked like.
"You get things sorted out with Axel?" Joseph asked. "Why was he here, anyway? And Roxas? And what about Vexen? Is he okay? Wasn't he—"
"Too many questions," Riku interrupted. "But yeah, things got sorted out. It had something to do with Xemnas. I think. Roxas attacked me right away and wait a minute! You were there!"
"Oh right." Joseph made a face, slowly lowering his cards as he thought about that. "But I didn't know if things got sorted out! It's a good thing they did." He looked down at his cards, grimacing a little. "You want us to go, huh?"
"Well-"
"Let us finish the game," Namine said. Joseph grinned over at her, and Toby giggled. Riku sighed. He couldn't exactly argue now.
Namine smiled. "I'm assuming neither of you have twos, right?"
Joseph shook his head. Toby had to check, but he shook his head, too. Namine drew a card from the deck.
"Ha!" she exclaimed. "I win!" She laid down her cards, revealing four twos.
"Aww man," Joseph sighed, gathering the cards. "Well, alright. I guess we'll go…"
"Riku could always play!" Toby suggested.
"Nah, he'd cheat!"
"I'm not sure if I could cheat at Go Fish…" Riku said, slowly.
"Do you wanna play?" Namine asked.
"Ah… not really…"
Joseph pouted. "Figures."
"I'll make him play another time," Namine hissed, though she wasn't very discreet about it. Riku assumed she wasn't trying to be. "Maybe tomorrow?"
"Haha, okay! Maybe I can get a better deck of cards by then… C'mon Toby!"
Joseph slipped out of the room, Toby not far behind him.
"What was that about?" Riku asked, sitting on the ground next to Namine.
Namine shifted a little, scooting so she was closer to him. "They wanted to play cards."
"No. I mean about the deck."
"Oh. It's just a bunch of cards Joseph has gathered. The only matches he's got are twos, though, so whoever gets all four automatically wins." Namine laughed. "It's fun."
"Right." He looked down at her, cleared his throat. In the excitement of fighting Roxas and then getting Roxas fixed, well… the mood they'd had before was long gone. Not that it was a problem. He just didn't know what to do now. It felt like there was some sort of… tension, between them. A heat in the air. Between their skin.
"You know what we should do?" she asked, suddenly.
"Hmm?"
"Tell Alpha about this. About. The meltdowns. Stopping them." Her words were quick, and there was a grin on her face again.
Riku slowly raised his eyebrows. "Should we… tell him about—?"
"No!" She shook her head, and then shook it again, more vigorously. "No! Not about- no." She swallowed. "But we should tell him that we've figured out how to stop them."
"We have?"
Namine looked down, fingering her skirt. "Well… like I said. When you- when you kissed me." She coughed. Her cheeks were flushed. "It was like… all these happy memories just filled me. And, I suppose, if I can try and do that again. Pull up happy memories to counteract a meltdown…"
"Happy memories? You sure?"
"Well." She shrugged. "I don't see why just kissing you stopped the meltdown! It had to be the memories. Right?"
He shrugged, too. It wasn't like he had any clue about this. He wasn't the expert here.
"You… uh… think that'll work, though?" he asked. "Using happy memories to stop a meltdown?"
She shrugged again. "I dunno. I- it seems logical that… it would… I- I hope it does." She cleared her throat. She still wouldn't look him in the eye. "I don't want the- don't want kissing you to be the only way to stop them."
He frowned a little, not sure if he understood that.
"Why not?"
"Well- 'cause- 'cause then it wouldn't be special anymore…"
Even though her head was bent low and her hair was in her face, not to mention she was looking away from him, it wasn't hard to tell that she was blushing. Hard. His face felt hot, too, and he cleared his throat, awkwardly.
"You- you think it was… special?"
She just nodded.
"Well- y- yeah. It- uhm. But I think-" She coughed again. "I think if it was the only to stop the meltdowns. For you to kiss me. We'd- we'd get tired of it pretty quickly. And I don't… want that to happen…"
He was silent for a long while, just letting those words sink in.
"You… really think we'd get tired of it?"
She nodded.
"'Cause it'd become routine. A nuisance. Just like the meltdowns. And I don't think I'd like that very much…"
He thought about that for a bit. Then, slowly, he scooted closer to her.
"Tell you what," he said, quietly. "I'll find a way to keep them special."
She chuckled and looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "And how you gonna do that?"
"Not sure," he admitted, looking away from her. "But… maybe there are a couple more ways to stop the meltdowns. That don't. Um. Involve kissing. I'm sure I could help you, y'know, think of good memories. That's what you said would stop 'em, right?"
"Yeah."
"So, uhm, maybe if you…" He shifted a little. "That connection of ours? The telepathy thing?"
She nodded.
"If you- you seem to be in charge of it." He swallowed. "So if you could, ah, open it to me. When- when you're—"
"No!" she shouted, eyes wide with horror. "When I'm having a meltdown?" She shook her head. Shook it again. "I couldn't. I won't!"
He blinked a few times. "Ah- uhm. Wh- why not?"
He didn't realize it was that big of a deal…
"Because- because then all the memories are gonna go to you," she explained. "And- and you won't. You won't be able to…" she trailed off, fumbling for words.
He frowned. "Are you saying I'm… you don't think I'm strong enough to—"
"No." Her voice was firm. "No, Riku. I think- I know that- that these are your memories. The ones that hurt you and the ones that will hurt you the most. I've seen what they do to you in your nightmares. I- I couldn't force a meltdown on you. I could never. I would never."
"I—" he began, but wasn't sure how to argue. It was… sweet of her. In a way. But… he wanted to say of course he could handle it. Because he could and he would put up with anything for her. Except…
"Riku. I won't." Namine was even firmer this time, giving him a stern look, like she'd sensed what was on his mind. "I'm sorry but I won't. And it wouldn't help, anyway. All the memories would just go to you. And it wouldn't stop it for me, they'd just keep flooding from me and into you and then we'd both be in pain and it's not worth it."
He sighed.
Except he didn't have any control over this. Their telepathy-connection-thing was entirely dependent on her. If she said no, then it was a no.
"We should… go talk to Alpha, yeah?" he asked.
She smiled. "Yeah."
xxx
It didn't take them long to find Alpha—he was sitting in the Main Room, his nose buried in a book.
"Alpha?" Namine asked.
"Do you see this?" He held up the book. "This means I'm busy. You're going to have to wait."
"It's important…"
"And? I'm twenty pages away from the ending. It can wait."
Namine sent a wry look at Riku. Rolled her eyes. "We figured out how to stop my meltdowns," she said.
That got Alpha's attention. He looked up, not looking happy, but definitely giving them his full attention. "And how, exactly, do you stop them?"
Namine broke into a grin. "Happy memories! To counteract the bad ones!"
Alpha raised his eyebrows, slipping his fingers under the next page of his book. "Do you really think that'll work?" His tone clearly suggested he didn't think so.
"Ah…" Namine nodded. "Yes. I'm pretty sure it will. But we can't be positive until we actually try, y'know?"
"Right…" Alpha looked down at his book again, flipped the page, flipped it back. "Ah, and, how did you figure this out?"
Namine looked down at her toes to hide her blush. Riku didn't look directly at Alpha, either.
"It was just… a thought…" Namine said, quietly. She cleared her throat. "We- we really won't be sure if it works until I actually. Y'know. Manage to throw off a meltdown with happy memories."
"I thought the point was to prevent them entirely…" Alpha said.
"Throwing them off works, too," Riku replied. "Besides. We haven't exactly figured out how to prevent them entirely, anyway. Separating us really didn't work"
"Mm…" Alpha looked down at his book again. "There's just… one thing. Namine?"
"What?"
"I… thought you had a meltdown," he said, casually. "About half an hour ago."
Namine swallowed. "I… did…"
"Yeah," Riku added. "That's when we. Uhm. Figured out how to—"
Alpha looked up, straight at Riku. "So you actually stopped one?"
"Uh… yeah…" Riku stammered, swallowing. Now that Alpha was looking at him like that, he felt nervous all of a sudden. He hoped Alpha didn't ask further about how they managed to stop the meltdown. He'd rather not mention that he and Namine had kissed…
Alpha slowly turned his gaze to Namine. He looked at her long and hard, then said:
"You didn't, I don't know, force that meltdown, did you? I'd assume that'd make it easier to throw off."
"I- what?" Namine said. Her voice was strained, though. "I- no! No! It's- I don't even think it's possible to-" She sighed, realizing it was a lost cause. "…you knew?"
Alpha nodded. "It was obvious after the fifth."
Namine let out a long breath. "Ah… maybe nine was a little too much…" she muttered.
Riku sent her a look. "You think?"
"I just… wasn't sure… how convincing any of them were. I don't know." She shrugged. "But I know I had three!" She nodded triumphantly, then reconsidered. "Two that I didn't force!"
Alpha just raised his eyebrows.
Namine sighed. "Okay," she admitted. "I'm positive about one. I think there was a second one that was real, and possibly a third, but they all… blurred together… …I shoulda listened to Joseph…"
"As unfortunate as it is, Namine, I can't exactly trust you," Alpha said.
"But it- I know I had one!" Namine insisted. "I know I did. I- if that wasn't real I- I wouldn't have seen that memory. I never would have." She let out a long breath. "Because to force a meltdown I have to throw myself into Riku's memories. And I didn't know about that memory! And even if I had I- I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have gone into it. Not on purpose. I- I wouldn't. I would never have touched that memory. Any of those memories."
Riku looked over at her, worried. "Which memories…?"
"Later."
Riku bit his lip. He had a nasty feeling he knew which memories she was talking about and- and he'd hoped that she hadn't seen it… Hoped so hard.
"Namine," Alpha said. "I'm sorry. But I—"
"Fine! We'll run your stupid test again."
"No we won't," Riku interrupted. "I want to try what me and Namine figured out. It seems more promising. Besides…" He looked at Namine, lowered his voice. "I wouldn't wanna make you do anything you didn't want to…"
She beamed up at him, then frowned a little. "Would you say that if we were sure separating us stopped the meltdowns, though?"
"Does it matter?"
She chuckled, but said no more.
"You never did… answer my question," Alpha said. "How did you figure out that… happy memories stop a meltdown?"
"It- uh-" Namine began. She'd gone bright red again.
"A-accident," Riku said, coughing a little.
"Accident?" Alpha didn't seem too convinced, but didn't press the matter. "You did stop one, then?"
"I- sorta…" Riku muttered.
"'Sorta'?" Alpha asked.
"It. Yes?" Namine shrugged. "I'm- I'm going to say yes but—"
"But we have to do it twice," Riku said. "Regardless. To make sure it wasn't a fluke."
Alpha slowly nodded. "Of course… Now… is that it?"
"You can get back to your book," Namine laughed.
Alpha didn't need to be told twice.
"That wasn't too hard," Riku laughed, as they started off.
Namine didn't respond. She'd gone suddenly very quiet, her eyes fixed on the ground.
"…Namine?"
"Do you… still wanna go to Hollow Bastion?" She asked, looking up at him. "Because we could technically go now… No one's keeping us here."
He chuckled. "I know. But that's okay. I really only just left. I don't think Aerith'd mind if I came back right away, but I'm sure she could use something of a break…"
"I didn't think family needed breaks from each other."
"Well-" Riku paused. That was… probably right. He smiled a little. "We'll go in a few days. Oh."
"Hmm?"
"I should see how much munny I have," he said. "I owe Aerith a plate."
Namine laughed. "What for?"
"I may have broken one…" he replied.
"You're gonna need to tell me about what happened while you were gone," she said, nudging him. "Sounds like you had a lot of fun."
"Yeah, well…" He made a face. "Why don't we head to your room and I'll tell you about it?"
"Okay!"