A/N: I just wanted to thank all the people that reviewed this fic. I don't always get around to replying on an individual basis, but I do see your comments and they are much appreciated. Thank you!

Fruitful Endeavors

By Semerket

Chapter 3: There's No Place Like Home

Ivy paced back and forth as she used the Dark Knight as a sounding board. "Do you know how humiliating it was? Do you? Poison Ivy sitting in a stuffy waiting room at the Gotham City Police Station!" If they had been two normal people Ivy would be sobbing on his couch while he tried to console her. They weren't normal, however.

"Ivy."

"And did you know she said they couldn't do anything about it?"

"Ivy."

"I mean, really!" She huffed and gestured to Batman, "It's no wonder Gordon needs some schizoid that runs around on rooftops dressed up as a giant rodent to do his job!"

"Ivy!"

"I can't find her!" If Ivy had been a small child, this would have been where the tears and rolling around on the floor in outrage would have occurred. However, Ivy managed to remain relatively composed and she even avoided crying in front of Batman. Thank goodness for small miracles.

"I don't understand what you expect me to do about it."

She yelled, "I expect you to find her! Haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying?!"

Batman resisted the urge to cover his ears at her shrill tone. He decided it was probably best to humor the maniac. "Let me rephrase that, Ivy. Why should I care if Quinn left you? She does this all the time, if I'm not mistaken."

"What if something happened to her? What if she's hurt?"

"She's probably with the Joker. Go knock on his door and ask."

"No! I know she's not. And I don't want to alert the other rogues that she's missing."

Batman sighed. He really did have more important things to worry about. "Has it occurred to you that maybe she's hiding from you? Maybe she doesn't want to be found by you?" Batman could certainly appreciate any desire to avoid the green woman, perhaps Quinn wasn't completely crazy.

She spoke in clipped tones as she barely contained her frustration. "No, something is wrong. I know it."

He tried to think of something to placate her. Walking to the edge of the roof and pulling out his grapple he said, "Look, if I hear anything I'll let you know, but at the moment I have a spiraling crime rate to worry about." He grappled away without sparing her another glance.

"Fine." Ivy shouted at his retreating form, "Then go on! I don't need your help anyway."

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Catwoman was waiting at the top of the Wayne Enterprises building in their usual meeting place. She was able to see most of Gotham City from her vantage point and it was an unusual treat because tonight there was no snow and the sky was actually clear for a change. She was enjoying the stars when she heard a familiar grappling sound.

She listened for his usual monotone, "You wouldn't believe what just happened."

"We have a clear night for once." Selina smiled, far more interested in romance than hearing about someone's criminal escapades.

"Poison Ivy turned on the bat signal."

That definitely caught her attention. She turned on her heel to face him, "Poison Ivy? Ha, that's a laugh. Did she try to kill you?"

"No, Robin got there first. She demanded to talk to me so I came over." Batman was so still that the only thing that she could make out in the darkness was the vapor generated by his breath as he exhaled into the cold.

"What did she want?"

"She can't find Quinn. Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?"

Selina shrugged, "Isn't she usually with Joker?" Selina wasn't sure if she should say anything about Harley's visit. The bouncy blond had clearly wanted privacy for whatever reason. However, it did surprise her that she had intentionally left Ivy out of it. The rogue had seemed troubled, maybe she did need help... Or maybe Ivy wanted to destroy her. Considering the plant woman's terrifying bipolar-esque mood swings there was probably a 50/50 chance of that.

"Ivy seemed pretty adamant that she wasn't with the Joker. Besides, there was something else about her..."

"Like what?"

"Do you think they could be involved?"

"Involved in what?" Selina played dumb as she studied her nails. "I can't say they tell me about their elaborate crime sprees."

"No, I mean are they... lesbians?"

"Oh!" Selina's mouth formed an 'o'. "Rumors have been flying about those two for years. Especially Ivy, what with the whole 'I hate men and am obsessed with saving the earth and my best girlfriend who doesn't really want me' thing. I could ask around if that's what you're asking..." She lied about that one too, though she wasn't sure why. She just felt inappropriate revealing her fellow rogues' personal lives to their sworn nemesis.

"She just seemed genuinely worried about her," Batman managed to actually sound surprised. "At first I thought they'd fallen out and Ivy wanted revenge or something, but thinking back I'm not so sure." Batman studied her a little too long before speaking. "Just tell me. After dealing with Ivy I'm not really in the mood for games."

Catwoman grinned, "Aw… You're no fun sometimes. But yes, they are a 'thing', if you must know." She batted her eyelashes at him and said playfully, "So would you approve?"

Batman blushed slightly at the innuendo in her tone. "Well, they haven't done anything illegal lately… that I know of anyway. I know it was certainly the most awkward encounter I've had with a rogue to date." Being ranted at by Poison Ivy about her personal problems and the ineffectiveness of law enforcement was not something he ever could have fathomed in a million years. She had seemed so human. It had been a strange night to say the least.

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

"Wow." Selina drawled after she opened the door to her apartment, "Why am I so not surprised?"

"We need to talk." Ivy demanded.

"After I heard that you went to see the GCPD and Batman, I figured it was only a matter of time before you zeroed in on little ole' me." The raven-haired woman chuckled as Ivy stalked into her apartment, completely uninvited.

"You know about that?" Ivy's normal flesh tone became a rosy pink color. Then she rolled her eyes, "Oh wait- I nearly forgot who I was talking to. How could I forget that your Batman's little informant. Of course, he would have told you. I'm sure it was just a matter of politeness since you were undoubtedly selling out your peers at the time."

Selina glared, "Well, I guess I can't sell you out since you aren't my peer anymore what with your dealings with cops. Even I can't boast that kind of hook up."

"Cut the crap. You know I'm looking for Harley. Yet again!"

"And believe me when I tell you that I don't know where she is."

"And you haven't seen her?"

"She did come to me a while back. She asked me to move some items for her at the lounge. She didn't want to go in herself."

Ivy paced back and forth, noting that Selina had excellent taste when it came to decor. "She needed money?"

"Looks like."

Ivy's anger was replaced with genuine concern, "Did she… say anything? About why she needed the money? I don't understand why she left. She could have just asked me. I could have given her money."

Selina sighed, "No, she didn't say what it was for and she didn't indicate that she had left you."

"I see." Ivy said tersely. "Well…" Ivy was obviously experiencing some discomfort at what she was going to say next, "Thank you, Selina."

Selina blinked, "Wow, don't hurt yourself."

The redhead rolled her eyes and showed herself out of the apartment.

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Ivy was lounging on her couch as she absently listened to the weatherman's predictions. It had been months since Harley had vanished. Months.

It was March now.

She could have been anywhere at this point. Occasionally Catwoman would provide her with a lead or two, but they hadn't panned out. She could tell that even Selina was concerned by now. It wasn't like Harley to do this, not for this length of time. Maybe she was hiding out with the Joker. Maybe she was dead or vacationing in Bermuda. Who knew?

Meow!

Sprout leapt onto the back of the couch and tried to climb onto her head, his little claws snagging in her red hair. "Ugh! No kitty… Bad… kitty! Ow!" Ivy managed to pry his paws off of her head as she set him on the floor. He was still young, but he was no longer the tiny kitten he used to be, now he was a plump cat of average size. His fall colors had long gone and his fur was a green, grass-like growth with a few small white flowers beginning to bloom. He was starting to reflect spring. Ivy was relieved at the change- his winter coat had been dead foliage and he had proceeded to shed flecks of it all over the house.

Ivy realized that she had forgotten to feed him his second meal. He let her know how much that displeased him by hissing irritably. Getting up from the couch, she went into the kitchen and proceeded to prepare it.

She muttered tiredly, "Yes, yes, I'm sorry I forgot."

Mrow!

"Yes, I know Harley wouldn't forget these things."

Harley had always been the superior pet parent. Ivy was so accustomed to feeding her plants every few days that she would frequently forget about Sprout until he reminded her.

Meow.

"Well she isn't here, is she?!" Ivy set his food and water dish on the floor beside him.

He sniffed it and stared at her. Ivy was pretty sure the cat was glaring at her.

Mow mroooow.

She snapped at his critical tone, "No, she spoiled you with too much junk food. That's why you've gotten so fat."

Meow!

"I may not be as fun as Harley, but at least I'm still here!" Gaia, how pathetic was she? Arguing with an inferior intelligence- a cat, for crying out loud! She sighed, at least it was a step up from the usual arguing she did with some of her more judgmental plants. Ivy stalked back over to the couch and sat down. She grabbed the remote and began thumbing through the channels absently as she wondered about the bubbly blond. Harley had told her how she felt about most of the other rogues in passing conversation, and she knew for a fact that it was unlikely she would have sought out any of the others beyond Selina.

Ivy had considered reaching out to the Riddler for a time- that fool loved riddles. Maybe he could solve this one. Ugh, it was more likely he'd just blab and tell all her business to the others. He was such a chatty Cathy when he visited the Lounge. Batman had been virtually no help. "Some detective he is", Ivy grumbled.

She eventually gave up channel surfing as a green kitty leapt into her lap and rolled over on his back to stare at her expectantly. Apparently he had put aside his exasperation at her feeding inconsistencies so that Ivy could meet his daily quota of pettings. Ivy rubbed his tummy distractedly as she noted that The Wizard of Oz was on. Harley loved this movie. She could tell it was about to go off as a very pink Glinda informed the rather idiotic Dorothy that all she had to do was tap her shoes together to magically go home. The redhead rolled her eyes as she thought back to their last escape from Arkham.

Glinda.

Ivy practically leapt out her seat at the revelation much to Sprout's alarm. Why hadn't she considered this option earlier? It would have made everything so much easier.

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Zatanna stepped over to her hot tub and hit the button for the air jets. Placing her wine glass beside the tub, she was just about to dip her foot in when she heard an odd noise coming from the direction of her plants. A planter with various exotic flowers and shrubs lined an area beside the tub. She inspected them carefully for bugs (she hated spiders!), upon finding nothing, she discarded her blue silk robe and tossed it near the side of the pool, revealing a blue bikini beneath. Gathering up her long ebony hair, pinning it on top of her head, she waded into the Jacuzzi, shuddering as the heat began to work on her tired muscles.

Grabbing her wine glass, she proceeded to take a long gulp, downing its burgundy contents before setting it back down. She rested her head at the edge of the Jacuzzi and closed her eyes as the air jets did their magic on her lower back. Her eyes popped open when she heard a rustling sound again, this time it was much louder.

She waded over to the nearby vegetation and shifted the assortment of plants, searching for the source of the noise.

"What the heck is that?!"

"Hello Zatanna."

The witch froze as it took a moment for the identity of the familiar voice to register.

"Or should I say Glinda? I am the Wicked Witch after all."

"Poison Ivy?" Her expression was calm, but her voice belied her surprise. She was able to make out the form of a face- Ivy's face, which had been formed out of numerous leaves and branches. It appeared to be some kind of freakish plant spell and was reminiscent of many possession spells she had studied. Zatanna pondered this until the plant effigy spoke again.

"Yes. It took me some time to find you."

"I guess I should be disturbed that you were even looking."

The effigy grinned evilly, "It was clever- that memory trick you used on the staff. I always tried to do something like that with toxins, but it just killed them instead. Bravo, dear. We're more alike than I initially realized."

Zatanna rolled her eyes in disgust. That she had anything in common with this woman was revolting to her on so many levels. It was bad enough that Ivy had somehow been unaffected by her spell- perhaps it had something to do with her plant physiology, but then again it did lend credence to Zatanna's theory that Ivy was more a magic user than a mutate. Either way, any reminder of Arkham was unwelcome in the extreme.

"We are nothing alike, murderer." She all but snarled the last word.

"Ha! Do your little friends in the League know about your brief stint in Arkham?" Zatanna glared daggers at the plant face. "I didn't think so. What do you think would happen if they found out?"

"I won't be blackmailed by the likes of you."

"Uh oh. Someone's getting defensive."

Glowering, Zatanna got to the point, "I know you didn't contact me to chat. So what do you want?"

"Yes, well I was thinking about how I helped spring you out of Arkham. I recalled that you owe me a favor."

Zatanna was laughed incredulously, "Owe you? You may have facilitated my… exodus, but I assisted in yours too." The rogues wouldn't have done a damn thing for her if there wasn't something in it for them. The circumstances surrounding her imprisonment had been wrongful, clandestine, and embarrassing. The latter being her primary reason for not wanting anyone to know. Zatanna was loathe to think that Ivy might actually think of her as one of them now. The very idea was repugnant.

"You. Owe. Me."

"I owe you nothing!"

The moment Zatanna finished that sentence she found that her own plants had turned against her. Some creeping vine that was part of the planter had managed to wrap itself around her neck and arms. It seemed to be growing exponentially, its strength growing along with it. 'Definitely magic!' Zatanna thought as she desperately tried to think of a way to counter the vines. Before she could utter a single word she was thrust into the Jacuzzi and submerged. After an amount of time that her lungs found intolerable, her upper body was unceremoniously yanked above the surface. Taking advantage of this brief respite, the good witch gasped for breath, before she found herself dunked under water again. She was pulled above the waves again and held in place.

She was prepared to cuss Ivy into another universe, but instead she coughed and took advantage of this opportunity to breathe. She managed to pant out between breaths, "What… do you… want… from me?!"

"I need you to locate someone."

"Who?"

"Harley is missing. I think she's in trouble."

"Have you tried checking the jails?" Zatanna chuckled, "She's probably rotting in prison like she should be."

"You will help me!"

"No!"

Ivy seemed genuinely confused by the witch's hostility, "Why won't you help me? You're a member of the esteemed Justice League- isn't it your job to help people?"

"You're a criminal!"

"So?"

"She's a criminal too!"

"And? You helped us before, Zatanna. I really don't see what the problem is."

"That's because you're insane. You're ability to see reason is severely impaired."

"And yet you still helped myself and countless other lunatics escape to terrorize Gotham. But then, of course, there was something in it for you, wasn't there? Where is your inner pragmatist now? You sorely need her."

"Is that so?" Zatanna snarked, "So what's in it for me then?"

The effigy chuckled, the sound was strange and ethereal coming from something with no true vocal cords. "You're life."

"Screw you, bitch!"

As expected, Zatanna found herself pulled beneath the water, yet again. This time she had an idea. Ivy might be sadistic and cruel, but she needed something and that meant she wasn't going to risk killing her, even accidentally. She waited for the hybrid to yank her head out of the water again. As soon as she took a breath she quickly muttered 'burn them' in reverse to cast her spell, "Nrub meht!"

A few shrubs near the effigy went up in flames, Zatanna was careful not to burn down her home. Just enough to reign the plant fiend under control.

"No!" The large vine-like plants that were holding the ebony haired woman immediately relinquished their grip and went about splashing a considerable amount of water onto the flaming shrubbery, eventually dousing the flames.

Zatanna took the opportunity to wade to the other side of the tub and hoist herself out. She moved more slowly than she would have liked, the lack of oxygen and struggling with the plants had taxed her strength considerably. Moving through the water felt like wading through Jello.

"Oh, no you don't!"

Zatanna was just barely free of the small pool when she felt a plant appendage wrap around her ankle, causing her to trip. The vine tugged her towards the pool as Zatanna tried to dig her fingers into the tile to keep herself from going back into the water. She sincerely regretted decorating her home with so much foliage- even if she went into another room, Ivy could manipulate those plants too. There was also the issue of burning down the house…

The raven haired magician growled, "If I help you…" The vine stopped tugging, "If I help you, then you must promise to never contact me again. We are done. Permanently!"

"Ah, there's your pragmatist! Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

The woman scowled at her effigy as she stood up.

"I have to say, Zatanna, I expected you to be more helpful and I certainly expected you to be more polite." Ivy had the nerve to complain as though she were reporting a negative customer service experience.

"And I expected to enjoy the evening in my hot tub without being threatened or water boarded by my own plants…" Zatanna sighed as she realized that arguing with a flawed logic like Poison Ivy's would be like arguing with a wall- or a vegetable.

"You crime fighters are so sensitive sometimes."

She snapped, "Do you agree to the terms or not?!"

"If your info is good, you will never hear from me again."