Chapter 17! Woohoo!

People are wondering about whether or not the Avengers and/or Thor will be involved at some point - well, yes. At least Thor, because I got Thor all planned out! I'm struggling a bit with the Avengers, though! But Thor is a sure thing, if nothing else!

Thank you yet again for your reviews, and for putting me on follow/favourite! You light up my life!

Now, let's get on with it, shall we?

Disclaimer: nope, not mine!

-o-

Chapter 17 - Thank God For Pizza Delivery

He was in the bathroom, staring at his own reflection.

I love you.

Three words - three words that was almost unfamiliar to him. No, well - Frigga told him from time to time, even Thor, but this... This was different.

When had he heard those words last? From a lover?

What was her name? Iselda? Yes, that was her name. And she had loved him. He had cared for her as well, but not love. Not truly. Even if he had told her he loved her as well.

When was the last time he had loved someone? Three centuries ago? Or more? He couldn't quite remember.

Vilda. Oh, how he had loved her. But she had not loved him. She had told him, and he had believed her, fool that he was.

The feeling of utter betrayal when she discarded him like some piece of worthless trash had left him in shattered pieces.

But overall, Loki had not had much time for love. His life had been filled with Odin, Thor - the eternal struggle to please the bloody man who called himself his father.

But Frigga - she had taught him magic, accepted him, loved him.

And Thor - the mindless brute he had been all his life, head in the clouds, filled with glory and heroic battle.

Insufferable fool. Naive and thoughtless.

But he had loved his brother. Dearly. Thor had never looked down on him. Never. He had always seen Loki as his equal, as his brother, and Loki loved him, naive fool or not. And Thor loved him as well, and fiercely protected him at all times - even when he knew he did not need to do so. He merely could not help himself.

Even now, even if Thor knew Loki's heritage, he acted no different toward him. Even in Loki's darkest moments, Thor had such desperate faith in him. The endless devotion Thor bestowed upon him made his heart twinge.

Loki missed his big brother.

Sentiment. Foolish sentiment.

And yet, Loki missed his big brother.

He was disappointed - he could not deny it - when Thor had been nowhere to be seen during his 'trial'.

The Avengers took much of his time, he supposed. And Jane.

Well, he had a newfound understanding for Thor's efforts to see Jane again - to keep her safe from harm.

He had scoffed at his brother back then - and now he was worried when Amber stepped up on a chair.

Amber.

Realising his thoughts had strayed from the original topic, Loki sucked in a breath as reality came to him again.

I love you.

It had been so unexpected, and he had been so taken aback that he did not know what to do.

I love that you can carry me around like this.

Loki had been rather confused by the whole thing, because there had been something in her voice, her eyes, and he had understood that she had more to say.

She had proceeded to hold a speech, more or less, and his mind had gone blank.

I love you.

The words had struck him like lightning, and his mind flooded with emotions in chaotic proportions. Eventually, the pain had struck him. His experience with love - with showing that side of him - it was a string of painful memories.

But then, she had not even demanded an answer. Instead, she had walked into the kitchen, leaving him there to gather his thoughts.

He had not known what to expect when he followed her into the kitchen, but an explanation of exotic cooking had not been one of the things he had considered.

He had laughed until he cried, and then he had told her he loved her as well - impulsively. Not that he did not mean it - because he did. He loved her. But love resulted in so much pain - so much humiliation.

He could not withdraw his words now, however, so he... He did not know how to proceed.

Basically, Loki was terrified.

-o-

I should learn how to cook, he thought as he heard Amber curse in the kitchen.

"I'm a fucking miracle worker," he heard her murmur, "because how is it possible to fuck up this? Meat - oven - success. Or absolutely not. I hate cooking."

He should definitely learn how to cook. It seemed rather interesting, in fact. He made potions, and that was an art in itself. The correct combination of the correct ingredients - and that was the same for cooking, was it not?"

"I'm really sorry that your life was wasted on me," she heard her say, and laughed when he entered the kitchen.

"Are you apologising to the chicken?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes. It deserves an apology. And a burial with orange gravy."

Just then, the doorbell rang, and Amber sighed in relief. "Thank god for pizza delivery."

-o-

Amber was lying in the sofa, with her head on his lap, and her hands folded on her belly, and she was looking rather thoughtful.

"I can't decide what to buy you for Christmas," she eventually said. "Because honestly, what in the seventh layer of hell am I supposed to buy for the god of mischief for Christmas?"

Loki gave the woman a surprised look. "You do not need to buy me anything."

She looked up at him. "I do, actually. But not because I feel obligated to do it, but because I love giving presents. So I absolutely need to buy you a Christmas present. I have some ideas, but… Seriously. Just…seriously."

He gave her an amused look. "It is not important."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think you understand. Whether or not it is important to you is actually not relevant in this situation. I have spent ten years on making gift-giving an art. Every present is carefully chosen for the specific person after much consideration."

"Why put so much effort into it?"

"Because it makes people happy, of course."

"You spend all that time and effort to make someone happy. How very…selfless."

She gave him an amused look. "Rather the opposite, when you think about it. Giving gifts make me ridiculously happy, and that is what drives me. From a cynical point of view – every single thing a human being does from their free will is based on entirely egotistical reasons. Giving gifts makes me happy. The happier the gift receiver is, the happier I am. It is the opposite of a vicious circle."

He thought about it for a moment, trying to come up with a situation where someone did something on their own accord purely because it helped someone other than themselves.

He couldn't. She had a point.

"There is truth there."

She nodded. "It is the best kind of egoism, however. So I do not mind. Anyway – you are a predicament."

He chuckled. "I apologise."

"Apology accepted. But, I will manage, I suppose. Perhaps I will have a better idea next year."

His mind stopped for a moment. Next year. Which meant she assumed it would be a next year. Not so much assumed, perhaps. She was rather realistic, after all. What it did mean, however… It meant that she wanted there to be a next year. It also meant she had no intention of going anywhere anytime soon.

His mind managed to start up again, and he just shook his head. "It is already a novelty to receive a present at all."

"You will have more than one, though."

He gave her a puzzled look. "Do not tell me you intend to buy more than one?"

"That is not what I mean," she said, and got up from the sofa. "I'll be right back."

She re-entered the living room a minute or two later, balancing a pile of presents in her arms.

"Take a look, love," she said, and proceeded with dumping the pile of presents on his lap.

He gave her a confused look, and she picked up one of the presents so he could read the 'to' and 'from'.

To: Loki

From: Ambrose

He stared at the present, utterly confused. "Ambrose? Should I remember who that is?"

Amber laughed. "No. It's my brother."

"What?"

Amber shrugged, as if this was completely normal. "That is from my brother, and the rest are from my mum, dad, sister, two aunts, grandma, my friend May, Allen - and then there is one from my sister's tiny parrot."

He stared at the presents. "I don't understand."

She shrugged again, as if any of this was even close to normal. "That's how my family works. You are celebrating Christmas with me, thus, you get presents. They are really happy that I don't have to spend it alone as well. They are really happy you are here. Which means you even get a present from a bird. I somehow doubt the bird went shopping, however. But I mysteriously get one from the tiny parrot every year, nevertheless."

He couldn't quite make sense of any of this. He was also stupidly emotional over the whole thing.

They were strangers. They had never met him. They did not know who he was, not at all, other than what Amber had told them. And yet, they were grateful, merely because he was here.

"Um," Amber began, and he could hear a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "Are they unwelcome? I am so used to this – but that does not mean everyone likes and welcomes it."

He shook his head. "It is…unexpected, that is all."

"Oh, good," she said, but then she smirked. "I planned on showering. Want to keep me company?"

This caught his attention, and he gingerly placed the presents on the table before – not so gingerly – picking up Amber, walking toward the bathroom.