Author's note: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, it seems as if the inspiration bug took a vacation for a few weeks and I didn't feel like uploading something I didn't like just for the sake of uploading, so thank you for your patience. As always, I would like to thank everyone who reads and reviews, it means the world. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading. - hannahorgrace

- This takes place almost immediately after the end of the previous chapter.

Chapter 4

"You're lucky my relationships are so unstable," Owen says as Alicia opens the door. "I'm usually never available on Saturday ni—" he interrupts himself, noticing the look on her face for the first time. "Okay, what's wrong?"

She sniffles, clearly repressing tears, avoiding the question.

"Right. Let's find ourselves a nice glass of wine, shall we?" he asks as he walks in.

"I'm already on it," she says softly, her glass of Chardonnay still in her hand, making her way to the living room.

"Is it Will?" he tries, pouring himself a glass of wine and joining her on the couch. "Do you want me to have him killed?"

Alicia smiles, her soft laughter interrupted by more sniffing.

"So we're still sure it's not love?" he asks, his tone more serious now.

She doesn't answer, avoiding his gaze, and takes a sip of her drink. She was asking herself that same question before her brother arrived. But it can't be. She isn't even sure she believes in love anymore.

"I don't know, Owen. I can't let myself go there."

"Why not?" he asks, putting his glass on the table. "Look, Alicia. It's love, it's not… murder, it's—"

"I'm married," she interrupts, the words coming to her for support, although the more she says them, the more she feels their biting irony, every time she mentions her marriage.

"Yes," Owen confirms. "We know. Husband of the year, isn't he?" he says, the sarcasm clear in his voice.

That's not what the problem is, Alicia thinks. It doesn't have anything to do with Peter. It has to do with her, and who she wants to be. And what example she wants to set for her children.

"I don't want to be that person," she says softly.

Owen smiles knowingly. "Well it's a little too late for that, isn't it?"

Alicia frowns. "You're not helping, Owen."

"Look," her brother says, "when it comes to your happiness, you don't owe anything to anyone but yourself."

"Owen, I slept with my boss. I'm married and I slept with someone else."

He's stunned, because it's the first time she's actually put words on her affair with Will. Owen always knew, and she knew that he knew, but she'd never talked about it with him so bluntly before. He had never heard her speak of it so openly. The only things he knew about her relationship with Will were the things he had either guessed or wormed out of her, without her ever clarifying anything about their relationship.

Maybe the Chardonnay was to blame.

"Alicia, you're not a cheater."

"How? How, Owen, how am I not a cheater? Why does it apply to Peter and not to me?"

"It's different. You're separated. Your kids know that, and so does Peter. And you're not sleeping with hookers. Will clearly isn't just a thing."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because I know you, sis. If he was just your side guy, someone you sleep with a couple times out of… boredom," and she frowns at that, because she doesn't think she is the kind of person to sleep with someone out of boredom, and Owen knows that. "If that's all there was between you two, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Alicia sighs. Her brother's words make sense to her, and she doesn't know if this is what she wanted from him. She wanted him to tell her that it would be okay, that they would both move on, that she would be fine… not encourage her.

"I know your marriage is important to you," he continues, "regardless of the situation between you and Peter, but sis, think about it… is that really the best example for your kids?"

She frowns, not knowing where Owen is going with the conversation, definitely not appreciating him involving her children in this debate.

"I mean, sure, trust, faithfulness and such," he rolls his eyes, seemingly not giving much care for what seem to be such overrated concepts to him. "… But what about love? Isn't that equally as important? Would it be such a terrible thing for you to admit that you and Peter are over, and that there is someone else who you might want to be with, now? Someone who actually cares for you?"

"Peter cares for me," she blurts out softly, unconvincingly.

"Okay Alicia, work with me here, please? Look, Zach and Grace are not children anymore. Honestly, they've probably had it all figured out for weeks now," and Alicia frowns at the idea. "It's not a bad thing. They're good kids. They want you to be happy. They'll understand. And I'm pretty sure they'll be happier if you're happier, Alicia. You can't forget about the importance of your own happiness."

She shakes her head, giving her brother a disapproving glare. "Even if it means ending things with their father, definitively?"

Owen nods.

"And what about the campaign?"

"There's always going to be another campaign, Alicia. You're always going to have to show up. Can you just be selfish for a minute here?"

His tone is earnest, his eyes sincere. He knows she'll listen to him this way.

"You don't have to do this to yourself. You don't have to stand by him if you don't want to. Even if you agree with him, politically… you're doing it for the wrong reasons. It doesn't matter what the little angry man says, you know, the one with all the sarcasm and the condescension", and she actually laughs at Owen's description of Eli. "If you guys separate, I mean… officially, you know, they'll find a way to make it okay. I know you want to make your marriage work but… at what cost? Do you really think sacrificing your happiness would be fair? Would it even be enough?"

They are both silent for a few minutes, Alicia seemingly lost in thought. Owen thinks maybe his words are finally echoing with her heart.

"I don't remember when I stopped loving Peter," she says, eyes empty.

"Okay, that's surprising," he starts. "Shall I give you a reminder?" he ironizes.

Alicia rolls her eyes. "That's not what I mean—"

He interrupts. "Stop making excuses, Alicia."

She frowns. "Making excuses? What are you talking about?"

"Since you started seeing Will, it's like all you've done is make up excuses as to why you guys are not… legitimate.»

"Owen," she tries to compose herself. "I'm married. He's my boss. How more illegitimate can this get?" She searches his eyes, but he doesn't answer. "I'm not making excuses. It's just… I'm sorry, but I can't —" but she stops immediately, the smile on her brother's face telling her she's about to do exactly what he's accusing her of.

"Look," he starts softly, lowering his voice as if he's trying another persuasion technique. "Remember a few months ago, you told me you guys were on the phone and he accidentally said he loved you and—"

"I know," she interrupts, before he has a chance to re-open the debate.

"I know you know," he says, "but do you really think it was just an accident?"

She's silent. On that day, she had denied herself the freedom to think about it, to think about what it could have meant, about how much of the meaning of Will's words could possibly be true.

"Maybe he didn't mean to say it then, but does it mean he didn't mean it at all?"

She's surprised her brother remembers her telling him about this conversation.

"Look, Alicia, there's only so much I can tell you, but in the end, you're the only one who knows how you feel. But if you're not happy with Peter, and you have a chance at happiness with Will— which I truly believe you do, I mean, it sounds like the guy is madly in love with you, it's all very romantic, I mean really it's almost sickening," she frowns, but doesn't interrupt. "Then… why not? What do you have to lose, honestly?"

"My marriage."

"Again with the marriage thing, honestly Alicia, don't you see they're two separate issues?! Will doesn't even matter in this. You didn't stop loving Peter because you had Will as a safety net. You stopped loving him because he's a cheating bastard and he's an ass. That's it. That's reason enough. Will or no Will, Peter would still be the same guy, and he still would have done what he did. Will is just… bonus."

She's silent again, so he continues.

"Look, let's not think about it anymore. Tomorrow's Sunday, they'll be plenty of time for you to think about it. Let's just drink wine and watch TV," he says, grabbing the remote.

Alicia gets up and heads for the kitchen. Owen is right, Peter and Will are separate issues. But would she really consider leaving Peter if Will wasn't there?

When she walks back into the living room with more wine, Owen has his feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Thanks", she whispers, sitting next to him.

"Anytime, sis." He wraps an arm around her and she lays her head on his shoulder. "Anytime."

Author's note: Hi again, and thanks so much for reading! I know this isn't real progress on the Will/Alicia dynamic but at least it's progress for Alicia. This is kind of her version of the Will/Kalinda talk from the first chapter, and I think it was much needed for her. Please leave me your thoughts in a review, I would love to hear what you thought about this chapter! I will try to have the next one up soon. In the meantime, I've uploaded another story a few days ago, feel free to check it out if you'd like — it's called Bliss. Thanks again for reading! - hannahorgrace