Chapter 218: for the rest

"IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE DIED!" Roxas screeched, throwing himself at Riku.

Riku raised his blade to block just in time, taking a step back to keep himself balanced.

"Not- not really," he stammered, flinching slightly as Roxas brought his other blade crashing down against his. It didn't take Riku long to realize that if Roxas kept this up, his defenses would be broken eventually.

I don't have TIME for this! he thought, bitterly. They'd wasted enough time already. Except how was he supposed to get out of this? With dark corridors not an option… and Roxas apparently wanting to kill him…

Except it's not my FAULT.

"Cut it out!" Riku snapped, adjusting his weight again. Roxas was still crashing his blades against his. "I didn't kill her. Yeah, sure, I accidentally started a Rebellion but it was an accident and saying that it killed Xion is a gen—"

His defenses broke. His blade dropped from his hand, and he stumbled back. He tried to roll out of the way, but Roxas threw his weight against him and knocked him to the ground. Riku grunted, eyes wide as Roxas aimed one of his blades at his heart.

"Get off me!" Riku screamed, trying not to panic.

He didn't have time for this. He didn't have time for this. He didn't have time for this.

"You. Killed. Her." Roxas hissed. His voice shook with anger, and his body trembled. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I did not!" Riku protested, but his own voice caught.

"But it's your fault!" Roxas screamed. "It's all your fault! All of it—"

He kept screaming, becoming more incoherent with each word, but his point was clear. Riku's heart thudded under Roxas's blade. It was his fault. It really was. If he hadn't—

"Roxas, what the hell!? This came from nowhere!" Kairi shouted.

Her hands wrapped around Roxas's arm, his cloak, whatever they could as she tried to pull him off Riku. Roxas kept screaming incoherently, flailing against her to push her away from him, still struggling to keep his blade at Riku's heart. Riku ground his teeth and scrunched up his face. He wished his hands were free so he could cover his ringing ears.

Kairi finally managed to pull Roxas off, and Roxas went tumbling to the ground. He landed on his back, panting for air and for once not screaming. Riku didn't doubt he'd continue once he'd caught his breath, though.

"Roxas, quit—oh never mind." Kairi rolled her eyes and rubbed at her nose. Roxas had elbowed her there. Riku pushed himself up, grimacing. "Riku," Kairi said, looking him in the eye. "We need to go."

Riku sent a hesitant look over at Roxas. "He's going to kill me."

"And there's really nothing we can do to stop him without severely wasting what time we have." Kairi sent a glance at Roxas, too. He hadn't moved, though his panting had turned into something close to sobbing. "Let's run for it. Now."

Riku jumped to his feet, nodding. Kairi had a point there. And, theoretically, with Roxas in this state, he wouldn't be able to command his Samurais well enough to keep them there. Kairi was on her feet, too, and they took off running. Riku summoned his blade and Kairi summoned a lot of light and they started plowing through what Samurais were left.

They'd only gotten a few out of the way—and, granted, that was enough to get by, but one of Roxas's blades came flying at Riku. He had to duck to avoid it, then jump to the side to avoid the second blade. Roxas summoned the first blade back to him and then chucked it again. He started screaming again, too, though Riku couldn't make out more than the "she's dead"s and "your fault"s.

He rolled to avoid one of Roxas's blades, then jumped back. Roxas had lunged at him, prepared to strike. Riku ducked out of the way, took a swing at Roxas. Roxas blocked with one blade, attacked with the other. Riku jumped back again to avoid it.

An incredibly large wall of fire sprang up under all the Samurais, probably killing most of them. Riku tried not to pay attention though. He had to focus on Roxas. If he had to battle, he would, but he'd be sure to end it quickly. He needed to get to Namine.

And so long as he focused. So long as he aimed his blade just right…

He squinted a little, poured darkness down the length of his blade, and stabbed—

—but he didn't stab Roxas.

Axel, of all people, had thrown himself in the way and taken the blow. Roxas stared, mortified, then dropped his blades so he could ease Axel's fall.

Well.

That was one way to do it.

Riku banished his blade and turned on his heel, heading for the exit.

"Riku!" Kairi grabbed him by the arm, trying to hold him back. "Where are you—"

"You can stay here and watch them chitchat if you'd like," Riku snapped. He wrenched his arm away from her. "I'm going after Namine. I've wasted enough time."

He didn't wait for Kairi to respond. If she wanted to come with him, she'd follow. If she didn't, well, that was her problem. Not his.

He had to find Namine.

xxx

It really was crystal clear.

It was all Riku's fault.

He needed to die.

That's all Roxas could seem to think.

If it wasn't for Riku, Xion wouldn't be dead. If it wasn't for Riku Xion wouldn't be dead. Ifitwasn'tforRikuXionwouldn'tbedead.

He threw everything he had into attacking Riku. He could do it. He would kill him and then—then he wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. Only killing Riku did. Only—

Axel.

The image cut through everything in his mind.

The mantra, the nagging, the need—everything.

It all stopped at the sight of Axel's back, taking a blow meant for him, falling to the ground.

"NO!"

The scream tore itself from his lungs, and Roxas lunged forward to catch Axel before he hit the floor. He could only ease Axel's fall. Axel groaned, clutching his stomach.

"Axel!" Roxas gasped. He scrunched up his face, his head pounding. But that- that didn't matter. It didn't. "Ngh. Where- where did you come from?"

"Had to make sure… You didn't kill Riku…" Axel coughed. It was only a few coughs before he was coughing blood.

"Here!" Kairi knelt down on the other side of Axel. "I can try and heal—"

"Don't bother." Axel coughed again, then chuckled. "It's too late. Riku knew what he was doing. That was a blow meant to kill. He put darkness in it and everything."

Roxas squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, the pounding in his head reaching unbearable. Riku did this. Riku. He had to—

"But I can…" Kairi started, but broke off, uncertainly. She chewed her lip. "I might be able to… get rid of the darkness?"

"Don't bother," Axel repeated, firmer this time. "I mean it. Roxas—"

"My head hurts…" Roxas mumbled. Everything was a little blurry, too. Axel was—

But Riku needed to—

But…

Axel.

"I figured it'd do that," Axel said. "But you don't want to kill Riku, right?"

Roxas shrugged, hopelessly. He wasn't sure anymore. Of anything. His brain seemed to have stopped working and there was a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat.

"Maybe? I dunno. Guess- guess it's not his fault…"

Xion's death wasn't, anyway. Not really. But Axel's—

"Good. Hold onto that." Even in- even in death Axel was as firm and cocky as ever. "It's not Riku's fault. It's Saix's. If you're gonna get mad at anyone, get mad at Saix. He was the one- the one who killed Xion."

Roxas swallowed. Blinked a few times. There were tears in his eyes. This was all hard to stomach.

"R-right, but- but wait Axel! No don't die too!"

Axel just shrugged, weakly. He laughed again, coughed again.

"It's no one's fault… but mine," he said. He sent a small smile at Roxas. "I jumped in front of the blow. Thought cloaks were a little more sturdy than this. Shoulda known. Heh."

"Axel no," Roxas begged. "No please don't die. Not you too. Axel please."

"Roxas, it's okay. I'm coming back."

And then he was gone.

Axel was gone.

Faded away, like all the other Nobodies did when they died.

"Wait, no!" Roxas cried. "What did you—" He scrunched up his face and gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the scream. It was too much. It was really way too much. First he remembered about Xion, and then Axel…

"Are you…? I'm so sorry," Kairi said.

Her voice sounded so much like Xion's it hurt.

"What did he mean!?" Roxas demanded, staring at her with pleading eyes. "Do you know? He- he said…"

He was coming back? But what hope was there that Axel could come back?

Kairi just shook her head. "I have no idea. I really am sorry." She chewed her lip for a moment, then added, with a shrug: "Maybe Riku knows? But he ran off and—"

"Well then let's go!" Roxas got to his feet. "After him! I need to know what Axel meant. And- and I might know where Namine is. Maybe."

"Riku's already got a pretty good idea of where she is," Kairi countered.

"Well!" Roxas protested, but wasn't sure what else to reach for. He squeezed his eyes shut. Now that Axel was gone, it was harder to ignore the—broken—mantra that was going in his head. If it wasn't for Riku, Xion wouldn't be dead.

Except that wasn't true.

"Look, do you really have a problem with me following?" Roxas asked.

"Seeing as you did just try to kill Riku, yeah," Kairi argued.

Roxas scrunched up his face. She had a point, but— "That was a programming thing, and- It's passed," he told her. He hoped it had, anyway. He could definitely think clearer than he could before. "It's- it's dumb. Really. It's Saix's fault, not Riku's." If he kept saying it, maybe he'd stay focused. It wasn't Riku's fault.

"Are you sure?" Kairi pressed, eyes burning. "Are you sure it's passed?"

"I…" Roxas bit his tongue. He didn't want to admit that it may not have. "We'll have enough warning if it doesn't."

"What about your orders?"

"Eh. I can ignore those. Honestly? I should have been already."

Now that he remembered Xion, he was starting to remember how awful the Organization was, too.

Kairi sent him a worried look. "You are surprisinglycalm for having two friends just die on you…"

"I'm not calm," Roxas argued back. The burning in his chest was not calmness. "I just really want to kick some ass, and hopefully find out what Axel meant…"

He pushed himself to his feet, and started moving after Riku. Kairi leapt to her feet, too. To Roxas's surprise, she ran ahead of him, then stopped directly in front of him. She glared suspiciously, ready in a relaxed fighting stance.

"This isn't a trick, is it?" she demanded. There was venom in her voice.

"What? No! I just watched my best friend die, and you think I'd trick you?"

"Unfortunately, Roxas, I have no idea," Kairi argued. "I don't know you."

Roxas swallowed. It was hard not to feel upset. With Axel gone and… and how much Kairi reminded him of Xion. Watching Kairi and hearing Xion accuse him made his stomach churn. There was no denying they shared a voice.

"But- but you saw Axel die!" he countered. "I- and I want nothing to do with the Organization, now that I remember everything! I really don't! I wanted to run away from them. Me and Xion. Run. Together. She- She didn't…"

He trailed off. He wouldn't think about it. Wouldn't think about her refusal. How stupid she'd been…

"We- we got caught before we managed to get away completely," he said. It wasn't a total lie. "We didn't get out of their radar in time. And she died because of it. I won't keep working for them after remembering that. Because it's not just Saix's fault she died, it's the whole Organization's. I'm sure Xemnas wanted her dead, too, or he wouldn't have let Saix kill her!"

"I'm- I'm sorry, Roxas!" Kairi said. Her voice shook with frustration, and there were tears in her eyes. "I really don't know if you're lying or not. Making- making it up."

"Do I sound like I'm lying?"

"No but—"

Roxas felt like he was going to scream. He really did.

"Would- would you trust Sora?"

Kairi stared at him a moment.

"Y- yes."

"Then trust me."

"Why?"

Of course that wasn't enough. Of course she needed an explanation, too.

"Because I'm a replica of him," Roxas said, and he thumped his chest. "And at my core I am a lot like him."

"But they programed you to kill Riku if you remembered Xion!" Kairi argued.

Roxas paused.

She had him there.

"Well—"

"How do I know what else they programmed into you? How do I know it's safe?" Kairi shook her head. "Roxas, I am sorry, but Riku needs to get to Namine! I'm not going ruin that just because I was too dumb to see you shouldn't have come."

Roxas stared back at her, stomach roiling. He wasn't sure he knew what else the Organization had programmed into him, either, and that made his blood boil. Now he understood why Xion had hated the idea of becoming Xemnas's puppet so much.

(It burned to know, in a way, he'd been turned into that, too. But no more!)

"Kairi, I promise," he said. "At least as far as trying to kill Riku again—You'll have plenty of warning, and I won't be coherent enough to do anything more than attempt to attack him." He was certain of that, based on how blurred his thoughts had been before Axel had… "If you keep running, or- or use a corridor to get away, I'll have a hard time keeping up."

Roxas tried to keep his voice as even as possible. He was so angry he wished he could kill something, but he couldn't take that anger out on Kairi.

This wasn't her fault.

Still, she said nothing in response, just squinted at him and chewed her lip.

"It'll be much faster, too," Roxas added, pleading. "I probably know this castle better than Riku does, and can get us all right to where we need to be. And between me and Riku—and- and I guess you, too…"

He didn't actually think Kairi would be much help, personally, but she wouldn't harm. And it wouldn't harm to flatter her, either.

"Anyone who gets in our way will be toast," Roxas continued. "Riku could get rid of them alone, sure, but I was built to be stronger than him. I may not actually be stronger, but I'm pretty close. Combined, nothing stands a chance against us. We'll be able to get to Namine in no time."

Kairi swallowed, but her defenses dropped and her face softened.

"Fine," she said. "For Namine." And then, slowly, she smirked. "Guess the Organization won't see their own weapon turned against them coming, either, huh?"

Roxas smiled back.

"Poetic, isn't it," he agreed.

Kairi grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him forward at a run.

"Now, come on! We have to hurry!"