Recommended song: Fire meet Gasoline by Sia, this was the first song that reminded me of this couple.
I don't own TVD if I did, Bonnie would have dated Kol, instead of Jeremy and before Enzo.
This is an apology fic, I realised my stories had too much Damon.
AN: This whole fic is about swapping identities with your best friend for a weekend.
"It is so romantic," Caroline Forbes sighed "I wish I was you."
"If it's such a great idea why don't you pretend to be me," Bonnie said sullenly from under the comfort of her blankets.
"I'll do it! I have always wanted to be chosen it's like being a princess!" Caroline sang rifling through Bonnie's closet.
"Are you serious?" Bonnie asked throwing her blankets off to judge her best friend.
"Yes, it's so totally romantic. Just like a fairytale. Trust me Bonnie you're so lucky! I wonder who you got," Caroline lifted the envelope to the window to try and see the contents.
Bonnie decided the blonde annoyance wouldn't leave her alone so she snatched the envelope and went into the bathroom to find out who she'd been matched with. Elena had been matched with a paramedic named Tom, she's was at medical medical school now.
Lorenzo St. John? Yeah? No. Bonnie ripped the letter of introduction into shreds and flushed it down the toilet, she honestly cared about pollution level in the ecosystem and the state of the plumbing of her house but Caroline was too nosy to leave anything like that around.
2 weeks later
Friday
Bonnie was toying with her breakfast as her father lectured her on how irresponsible she was being. After World War 3, the human race was on the brink of extinction and marriages were now being arranged by a sophisticated computer algorithm that paired people with their perfect matches based on compatibility. Most societies had banned social media and most modern conveniences but since Bonnie's father was the Mayor of Mystic Falls she still had access to the "Network".
The Network was a powerful system which could locate every single human being in the world, you couldn't opt out but you could pay for extras such as having your picture disabled or your location hidden. Bonnie unlike most people had a Network enabled phone. Which she suspected her father only gave her to keep tabs on his headstrong daughter.
Bonnie nodded and agreed to meet her match, she held out her hand as Rudy Hopkins handed her the replacement letter that had arrived in a red envelope. Rudy had been so embarrassed when the neighbours shook their head at delivery of the red envelope. The red envelope signified that someone had not responded to the Network's first interview for a matched pair. Most of the communication in the world had reverted back to paper based as the majority of the people on earth could not afford Network enabled devices.
Caroline had showed up to help Bonnie pack for the trip to Whitmore from Mystic Falls. This was code for Caroline to "borrow" Bonnie's stuff and not return them. They weren't even the same size but that did not stop Caroline, then again no force on earth could stop Caroline.
Caroline was bored and she was still waiting for her match, so she turned her considerable energy into speculation about Bonnie's match. Caroline reluctantly handed the letter back to Bonnie, who resisted the urge to crumple it up. It was of no use she knew what was written on the paper:
Name: Lorenzo St. John,
age: 27
Occupation: Musician
Hobbies: Cooking
Favourite book: The Oddessy
"I bet he's an Italian Stallion," Caroline was gushing.
"I don't care," Bonnie said her eyes landing on a photo of her and Jeremy. He had been matched with a girl called Anna. Rumour had it that they were happy. Bonnie sighed slipping the picture of her and Jeremy from happier times into the waste bin.
"Tall dark handsome, maybe a bit of a sexy bad boy," Caroline mused as Bonnie read the letter, again hoping it was a practical joke.
Bonnie grimaced reading her introduction in the letter.
Name: Bonnie Sheila Bennett
Age: 23
Occupation: Ex-cheerleader
Hobbies: Buying candles
Favourite book: The Bible
Caroline looked at her, "I offered to fill your application instead of you letting your dad do it so don't pout. Anyway I hope this guy is rich, maybe an only child..."
Bonnie folded the letter and slipped it into her pocket.
"Thanks for coming with me Care," Bonnie smiled at her friend, as she and Caroline got into Bonnie's SUV.
"Your dad gave me $100 to make sure you didn't run away," Caroline confessed guiltily.
A tension settled between the couple of friends.
"Care…" Bonnie began.
"What?" Caroline looked at Bonnie in fear, "I'm sorry I'll return it, please don't stop being friends with me!"
"What if... I gave you $200 on top of that if you do me a tiny favour?" Bonnie asked mischieviously
"Yes! I mean... sure! Okay I mean what?" Caroline asked already planning how to spend her $300.
"You must be Bonnie, you're way way way hotter than I expected," the fedora wearing dark haired brown eyed man shook his head in appreciation looking Caroline up and down. "When I saw there was no picture, I thought damn she must be fugly. Most people who do are!"
"You hid yours and only your personality is fugly," Bonnie said to no one in particular. Rudy had ensured all his family and friends had their locations and profile pictures disabled.
"You must be 'Enzo'," Caroline said clearly disappointed with the frat boy wearing a t-shirt depicting a blow up doll that Caroline had to admit bore an uncanny resemblance to her, she cringed.
Bonnie raised her coffee up slightly in Caroline's direction, there was a loophole, that if both the parties refused the match then their names would go on a waiting list. Rumour had it that the Network waiting lists were where rejected people would wait for years. That was fine with Bonnie.
Bonnie's eyes landed on a dark haired handsome man who like her was watching Caroline and 'Enzo'. He was wearing a black leather jacket and was wearing too much product in his hair. When their eyes met she quickly averted her gaze and decided to study her match, 'Enzo' St. Douchebag.
He was undeniably handsome with amazing cheekbones and was sexy as hell he had a bit of stubble, a real bad boy. He was everything Caroline had imagined. Had the match making service screwed up? Was she really compatible with that douchebag? Bonnie pondered utterly offended with her match.
"It was so nice to meet you 'Enzo', obviously this is not working out, if you'd like to just tick the reject box, you'll never have to see me again," Caroline said cheerfully shoving the paper onto his chest obscuring the florid image of the doll.
"Huh? Why would I do that? Aren't we getting along like a house on fire?" 'Enzo' licked his lips giving Caroline what Bonnie could only describe as "come hither" eyes.
"Mate, T... 'Enzo', just tick the sodding box and get it over with," the leather clad man spoke in a British accent, popping a slice of waffle smothered in berries and cream into his mouth.
'Enzo' pouted, "Fine En...'Tyler'," he said grinning at his friend over his shoulder.
Bonnie watched 'Enzo' intently as he bent down and spread the paper on his muscular thigh and ticked the appropriate box on the paper.
Caroline grinned at Bonnie giving her a thumbs up, she reached for the paper that would be mailed to the department of marriages and deeds.
"Not so fast," 'Enzo' said holding the legal form out of Caroline's reach "there's a dance tonight, say you'll come and I'll give it to you then," he drawled.
"But," Caroline looked at Bonnie mouthing the words "now what?"
"And if you're lucky I'll give you the signed papers too," 'Enzo' grinned at Caroline.
"That was not part of the plan!" Bonnie hissed loud enough for Caroline to hear.
"'Enzo', a word please?" the waffle eating man named 'Tyler' said getting up, his chair screeching in protest over the concrete.
Caroline turned her attention to 'Enzo', "Is that right?" Caroline scoffed ignoring Bonnie.
"This match is as good as annulled so... you and me may as well have fun here in Whitmore..." 'Enzo' said giving Caroline a look that even Bonnie had to admit she'd have trouble saying no to.
Bonnie should have known better, Caroline was going to crack and go dancing with 'Enzo' and Bonnie would have to get a hotel room and wait for Caroline to come back the next morning with 101 excuses and apologies.
"Your friend can come too," 'Enzo' said winking at Bonnie.
"Oh yeah she can too," Caroline was agreeing, "she'll be so bored though... she's risk averse and oh you should have seen the boring loser she dated!"
"She is right here!" Bonnie cried in frustration, frowning at Caroline, wondering why the universe took Elena away instead of Caroline.
"'Tyler' go introduce yourself to uh..." 'Enzo' began gazing softly at Caroline.
"B… Connie I mean Caroline," Caroline laughed.
"For Fucks sakes," Bonnie was muttering calculating how long it would take her to murder Caroline and dispose of the body.
"Caroline... that's pretty name," 'Enzo' said taking Caroline's hand and leading her away from Bonnie.
"C.. Bonnie we have to go back to Mystic Falls tonight!" Bonnie yelled after.
"Bonnie! Bonnie!" Bonnie yelled, feeling her cheeks heat up, calling out your own name was weird.
Caroline ignored her and was playing footsie with 'Enzo'.
"I wouldn't waste your breath, I'm E...'Tyler' Lockwood," the British guy introduced himself, placing his food and drink on the table before extending a hand towards her.
"Caroline Forbes," Bonnie said angrily arms crossing across her chest.
'Tyler' slipped into the chair opposite her, "we may as well keep each other company while we wait for them to get over their love at first sight."
"Lust at first sight" Bonnie corrected her companion, "I know love, that is not it." Bonnie shook her head wondering what mess Caroline had gotten her into yet again.
Bonnie had picked up sketching while she was with Jeremy and she was drawing the Network logo on her napkin and crossing it out and repeating the process.
"Not a fan of DAMON I take it?" her companion asked looking at her artwork.
"Not really," Bonnie pressed her lips together. Digitally Arranged Marriage Online Network was the bane of Bonnie's existence. Sadly her father was one of the chief consulting partners in its creation, that was something she kept to herself. There were plenty of people who wanted to destroy the DAMON. Bonnie studied her companion closely he had a mole under his eye and spiky hair, maybe like birds of a feather douchebags flocked together she thought about how the two friends were so attractive with similar features.
"'Tyler' isn't a very British name. I thought all of you guys were named Benedict, Edgar, Ambrose and names like those," Bonnie confessed, feeling silly as soon as the words left her mouth.
"Sorry to disappoint. I was in an orphanage and I thought the Italian cook was my father. No one knows my real name or age or where I come from."
Bonnie typed in 'Tyler''s name in her phone and his profile showed up, without a picture.
Name: Tyler Lockwood
Occupation: Legend, beer pong champion.
Age: 23
Favourite book: I'm like a good thriller; once I start you won't want me to stop.
Bonnie pushed her very expensive Network phone towards 'Tyler'.
He grimaced reading his profile as if for the first time, "Fancy gadgetry cost you a pretty penny?"
"My dad's," Bonnie replied flippantly, she didn't need the Beer Pong Champion's judgement about being the daughter of the thief of free will.
"Ah. You didn't answer my question," he cut his waffle so precisely, Bonnie wondered if it was the beer pong that gave him such good dexterity.
"I have my reasons," Bonnie answered not wanting to go into Gilbert territory with a stranger, even if he was cute and a good listener.
"As do I. In my short sour life I was blessed 3 times," Bonnie involuntarily leaned forward, he was a good storyteller, it would be nice to feel better about someone having a more disappointing love life than her thanks to DAMON.
"The first was when I got adopted by my saintly mother Lillian god rest her soul," Bonnie watched his lips as he whispered a prayer and looked upwards. Bonnie was about to ask what happened then decided she didn't care. She was going back to Mystic Falls and would never see this guy again. She had enough pain and suffering of her own, she did not need someone else's.
"The second was when I arrived here in America and met my adopted brothers and heard my eldest sibling call me brother for the first time," Bonnie watched how his expression had changed from sadness to love. Bonnie felt a twinge of empathy for him. She felt the same way with Elena. And how it had broken her heart when Elena moved to Boston, all because the stupid Network said she was compatible with some stranger she had never met.
"The third," he ran his hand through in his hair, "I fell in love with the girl next door. And she returned my feelings."
"Okay, still don't see the problem. Or why you would hate the demon," Bonnie asked, using the nickname for the Network's arranged marriage program.
"A computer program matched the love of my life, my Maggie with my brother, also coincidentally named Damon. The two people I cannot live without are now married and I..." he shook his head, "you must think me a beast unable to share in their happiness," he laughed bitterly.
"Hey, my own mother decided to join the demon program for fun when I was 4. Left me and my dad for some widower with a kid and raised him instead of me," Bonnie raised her hands in the air, "trust me I am not happy for her or have any relationship with my so called brother."
"Oh Caroline, that's monumentally buggered up," Bonnie could feel the young man's empathy towards her.
"Oh it gets worse," Bonnie dove straight into it, feeling like baring her soul to him knowing she'd never have to see him again. "Then my best friend and boyfriend...
"No!" he exclaimed theatrically his hand hovering over his mouth.
"No, no, no, not like that. My best friend was matched with someone in Boston and she packed her bags and went off without a doubt in her heart and my boyfriend her brother, was matched in Mystic Falls and he is totally shacked up and in love with his match..." Bonnie was on a roll.
"He didn't fight for you?" 'Tyler' asked, mouth hanging open, Bonnie laughed at the look of disbelief on his face.
Bonnie curled her lips, "No, he cried said he'd never forget me but yeah, fat load of good that'll do me," Bonnie crumpled up the napkins she'd drawn on.
"Demon's not all bad," 'Tyler' pulled out his wallet from an inner pocket of his leather jacket and flashed Bonnie a picture of a brown haired boy with a stuffed rabbit, "This is my pride and joy, Jakob my nephew. My brother Stefan his wife Valerie were matched and they're quite happy."
"Here's to success stories," Bonnie raised her coffee cup, feeling the need to lighten the mood.
"Hear hear," Bonnie didn't mind spending the afternoon with 'Tyler', she didn't even notice when Caroline and 'Enzo' disappeared.
Bonnie was digging through her bag, looking for something to wear to the dance tonight. She hadn't felt this alive since prom with Jeremy. That's really pathetic she told her reflection.
1 hour and 20 minutes later Bonnie was checking herself out in the mirror. She placed a hand on her stomach, "you're just hungry she told herself, these are not butterflies."
She didn't even have butterflies with Jeremy, so she knew instinctively that there was no danger of falling in love with 'Tyler'. It was just two people hanging out because their horny friends decided to exchange STDs.
It was nice to have some new company, learn new things such as words like "sod off" and "bollocks" and the right context to use them. Also that accent. Plus that those to die for dimples when he smiled. She smiled thinking about his smile. She had completely zoned out that she was shaken by the knock on the door.
"Hey," she greeted 'Tyler' he was holding a MacDonald's carry bag. Bonnie squashed the urge to blurt out that she loved him. After eating and making small talk, Bonnie realised that she didn't want to go out she was content to stay in the hotel room and talk all night.
"It's getting late, love, we have to go if we want to get there before Ty... 'Enzo' drinks up all the free liquour," he said sadly. Bonnie wasn't sure if he was sad that 'Enzo' St Loser was going to drink all the alcohol or if he was sad about leaving the hotel room.
"Yeah not to mention wasting all this effort," Bonnie pulled at her green dress, she was going to have to thank Caroline for packing it.
"You're having me on, right? You're naturally flawless. I'll wager you made little to no effort to look this stunning," 'Tyler' was beaming at her.
"Stop it," Bonnie swatted his shoulder, "Or else I'm taking you back to Mystic Falls and locking you in my bedroom Mr Lockwood."
"I can think of no better way to live out the rest of my days on earth but alas we have to go now if we are to miss traffic."
"Lead the way," Bonnie swept her hand in front of her, shrugging.
"Ladies first," he bowed slightly.
"Oh, sweetie, I am no lady," she winked wondering why she was flirting with the first friend she'd made since high school.
After dancing with Caroline and 'Enzo', Bonnie returned to the booth where 'Tyler' was nursing a drink, "dance with me!" Bonnie demanded grabbing his hand.
"Sorry love, I don't fancy this kind of music," 'Tyler' said dourly.
"Huh?" Bonnie asked tipsy and bravely pushing her face in front of his, within kissing distance.
"I prefer jazz... waltz," 'Tyler' was saying waving his hand in a circular motion.
"Oh old people dancing," Bonnie said disinterestly, "you know, what," she said as if telling him a secret, "You sound more like 'Enzo's profile than your own!" she laughed gulping her drink missing the panicked look on his face.
"Come on, humour me!" Bonnie pouted said holding out her hand.
He took it and followed her onto the dance floor comprised of gyrating sweaty shiny bodies, in various state of undress.
He honestly, truly looked like a fish out of water and it made Bonnie feel bad so bad for him that she impulsively gave him a hug.
The hug dragged on and slowly there was rocking in the hug and it became a very slow dance, quite out of place with the tempo of the music.
When the song changed, they drew apart, Bonnie ached for the warmth that she was so suddenly denied. She realised how long it had been since anyone had touched her so intimately. And it wasn't just a physical touch.
She felt thirsty. It was a feeling that she felt keenly in every fibre of her being.
"I... I need a drink," she announced clearing her throat and avoiding eye contact, with her dance partner.
"My thoughts exactly," he followed her closely, she felt a thrill as he placed his hand on the small of her back.
Bonnie sucked at her teeth as she contemplated escaping the noise of the club, 'Tyler' had slipped off somewhere.
The music suddenly stopped. Bonnie saw 'Tyler' headed towards her.
"I don't usually do this," the DJ was saying "but this is for Caroline Forbes."
The club exploded into cheers as the music turned soft and slow, Bonnie felt hundreds of pairs of eyes on her.
Bonnie didn't react at first till she remember that she was for all intents and purposes Caroline Forbes, "Oh you shouldn't have," she said gulping nervously, as 'Tyler' took her hand and led her to the now deserted dance floor. Bonnie spotted Caroline giving her both thumbs up.
TBC this is getting too long.