Chapter 222: hard it is

Namine pressed her palms and back against the wall, trying to take deep breaths and keep herself calm. That was hard, though. It'd been hard ever since she got here. The minutes had ticked on, and there'd been absolutely no sign of Riku—or anyone. She'd been alone in here until quite recently, in fact.

L had just walked in—walked, not corridored—pushing the cell door open with a hand. Namine could hear 37's muffled voice coming through the walkie-talkie at L's belt, not that she could hear what he was saying from this distance.

Of course, she told herself, trying to distract herself. Calm herself. The dark corridors—blocked. To delay Riku. That's why he isn't here yet. He's coming. Any second now.

Namine reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, a nervous gesture. And, maybe, a gesture she shouldn't have let L see. Oh well. It was too late now.

She pressed herself further against the wall as L drew nearer.

"C'mon," L said, looking down at Namine with her nose turned up. "Let's get this other with—and try not to struggle. It'll only make things more difficult."

Namine cringed at the words, her heart halting in her chest. Her breaths came in chokes, and she clenched her hands into fists. Dug her fingernails into her palms. Pain. To distract herself. She wouldn't let the words—the memories—take her now.

The déjà vu of this moment was hard to ignore, though, especially as she sunk to the ground. Riku'd been here before.

"I don't wanna go," Namine mumbled, the tears welling up in her eyes again. "I don't wanna go I don't wanna go."

"Aww, are you upset?" L asked, mockingly. "Scared of being Rewritten?"

"How would you feel!?" Namine screamed—she pounded her fist against the wall. It hurt. Who cared? She didn't. She cringed away as L's face fell into a glare, though.

"Need me to do something?" 37 asked, over the walkie-talkie, his voice interspersed with static.

L's eyes narrowed further, but with frustration, not anger or hatred or any of the emotions Namine feared seeing on her face. L snatched the walkie-talkie from her belt, held it up to her mouth.

"I've got this," she hissed.

"If she's causing trouble…" 37 began.

"No." L smiled, just slightly. Amused. Another emotion Namine didn't want to see. "Let her speak."

Namine swallowed. Her throat was dry. More than dry. All words had left her, now that she had permission to speak. All the things she'd thought about saying—gone. Every word.

L chuckled and rolled her eyes, clearly knowing that Namine had nothing to say.

Then the words tumbled from Namine's mouth:

"How would you feel, if you were in my place?"

The words surprised her, but she went with them.

"How would- how would either of you feel? Threatened with the thought of being Re- Rewritten and- and… had to kill—"

Those were all the words she had.

She didn't dare say the unspeakable.

"I'd be scared," 37 said.

"Shut up!" L snapped.

"How- how would you feel?" Namine repeated, somehow finding the strength to look L in the eye. "If you had to kill him. 37. And you had no- no choice. Wouldn't you be scared? Scared to death?"

L just pursed her lips. She looked a little uneasy—but she didn't open her mouth to answer the question.

Namine gulped.

The adrenaline and her bravery was gone.

She let out a shuddering breath and slumped back against the wall. She rest her cheek against it. Clutched at her face with a hand. Crying. Sobbing.

"Riku… where are you?"

She'd betted with her life—trusted he'd get to her as soon as possible, but he'd failed her.

No, she told herself. It's not his fault. His fastest just isn't fast enough. It's not his fault. It's mine.

The dread hung over her like a cloud. One of her worst nightmares was about to come true, and all because she'd willingly thrown herself into it. Riku's fastest wasn't fast enough, and even if she could stall—

Wait a minute.

Stalling.

She straightened, fumbling for words to delay L dragging her off. She said the first ones that came to mind:

"I'm never gonna see Riku again… Never- never gonna see him again…" The weight of that reality settled heavy on her chest, but she choked past it, trying not to think too hard about it. "I'll never- never get to see his smile never- never hear him laugh again, I—"

Her words were lost to tears. Of all things she could've said, this was definitely the worst. She really wouldn't see him again. She was out of time. She'd never see him again, never feel his warmth, his arms holding her close to him… her cheek pressed to his chest… his chin on her head…

She'd never see him smile again. Not the angry smirk, the too-cocky grin—as awful as they were, they were still quite beautiful. So very him. And his other smile—the rare smile that was like sunshine when she saw it—she wouldn't have the chance to see it again, either. Nor the red flush of embarrassed cheeks as he quickly turned away.

She wouldn't see him cry—no. She would see him cry. And hopefully, it'd be one of the last things she saw. Hopefully he'd keep his promise. Hopefully he wouldn't let her—

L grabbed her by the forearm, and Namine screamed.

"NO!" she cried. She refused to resign herself to her fate. "NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS PLEASE. PLEASE YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T."

"Stop being so melodramatic," L muttered, dragging Namine to her feet. "Of course you'll see him again."

"And then one of us is gonna die!" She squeezed her eyes shut. "I hope it's me."

"We'll make sure it isn't," L said. Her voice was sweet. Too sweet.

Namine screamed again, in horror. She wasn't sure what she was saying—if she was saying anything—but she couldn't let this happen. Couldn't. Couldn't…

…couldn't do anything about it.

"C'mon," L grumbled, reaching for her walkie-talkie. "37—"

"PLEASE DON'T DO THIS PLEASE!" Namine yelled. "NO NOT YET PLEASE WAIT PLEASE JUST WAIT!"

"Why?" L dropped the walkie-talkie and wrapped a hand around Namine's throat, effectively stifling her screams. L brought their faces together, a fury burning in her eyes. "So Riku can rescue you before we finish our job?" she asked, then scoffed. "I don't think so."

She dropped Namine.

Namine registered hitting the ground, and gasping for air, and then everything went black.

xxx

L looked down at the collapsed Namine, and clucked her tongue. She bent down to first retrieve her walkie-talkie, then picked Namine up and slung her over her shoulder.

"I should've done that sooner," 37 sighed. L could hear him tapping away at the computer in the background. "Dark corridors are enabled again. Get up here."

L formed a dark corridor around herself. "It would've caused less hassle," she agreed, annoyed, as she and Namine arrived in the editing room. Disabling Namine right off the bat would have been the smarter course of action, certainly.

She threw Namine down on the table in front of her, then looked to her left at 37. He'd stopped typing, just lightly drummed his fingers against the keys for a moment.

"I was being kind, actually," he clarified.

L raised her eyebrows, surprised. Doubtful.

He looked up at her, then rolled his eyes at the face he was giving her. "I'm not heartless. The least I could've done for her was let her be blissfully unaware and unable to process the fear she was feeling."

L looked away. Swallowed. Looked at Namine for a moment, then looked at the floor.

"…maybe it was noble to let her have one last struggle," she muttered, then added distastefully: "I suppose."

"What makes you say that?" 37 asked. Clearly he'd noticed she actually meant her words.

L didn't respond, though.

"Well, let's get on with it!" 37 said, cheerfully, laughing a little. For her. "If we dwell too much longer on what was best for Namine, we may not have the heart to go through with Rewriting her."

L snorted.

"Like that'd happen."

xxx

Sora found himself gaping as he looked around the room. While it wasn't as impressive as Castle Oblivion's surveillance room, the surveillance room in the World that Never Was was still fairly impressive. It was definitely more technology than Sora had ever seen in one room. There were about nine different monitors on the wall, showing different parts of the castle.

"Do you know how to work this?" he asked, turning to Joseph.

Joseph had already plopped down in the chair, and was swiveling slightly from side to side. "Yeah, of course!" he laughed. "Keep an eye on the door, though, would you? We wouldn't want to get caught."

Sora figured that was an incredibly valid point, and went to stand guard.

"What's that?" Toby asked. Sora turned to look at them just long enough to see Toby leaning over the keyboard and pointing at something on the screen. Joseph rattled off some area name and room number that meant absolutely nothing to Sora, and he doubted it meant anything to Toby, either. He was surprised Joseph understood it.

"Mmm… the dungeon's probably a good place to check, huh?" Joseph muttered to himself.

"I don't see him," Toby said.

"No. Oh well. He's gotta be in this castle somewhere."

"Where's that?" Toby asked, again. Joseph responded with another rattling of an area/room number, and they continued on like that for a while. Joseph clicked and typed away at the computer, busily, muttering to himself between answering Toby's questions. (Which had gone from "where's that?" to "how'd you do that? How does it work?" and so on.)

After a few minutes, Sora turned around to look at them.

"Aren't you gonna get in trouble for this?"

"Yeah, probably." Joseph just shrugged. "But the worst 29 can really do is take away my video games…. or make me clean all of C.O. again…" Joseph grimaced a little at that. "But if it means saving Vexen, it's worth it!"

Sora nodded, thinking it was rather sweet of the kid. Noble, even? He didn't know much about Vexen—they hadn't interacted much and it'd been quite some time ago—but he didn't seem like the kind of man you'd go out of your way to rescue. Then again, Joseph obviously knew Vexen better than Sora did, so maybe he shouldn't judge.

"There!" Toby exclaimed. Sora turned to look at them, more interested in what they were doing than the door. The hallway seemed completely empty, anyway, and they should be able to hear someone coming.

Joseph leaned forward to squint at the screen. "Y'sure that's him…?" he said, slowly.

Sora sent one last look down the hallway, then came over to look. "I dunno, looks like there's someone guarding the door," he pointed. "Don't know why anyone would be guarding a Replica."

"Good point," Joseph said. "Alright… let's—wait a minute! That's Namine!"

He pointed at one of the top screens. Sora slapped his hand away to clear his view, squinting at the screen.

"That really her?" Toby stood on tiptoe to try and get a closer look.

"Mmhmm!" Joseph nodded. "West wing—editing room… oh….." Joseph's cheerful tone dropped immediately, eyes going wide. "Oh no."

"What?" Sora asked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. There were only three people in the room. A Vexen, typing away at the computer. A Larxene, pacing and making wide gestures and from the looks of it talking rapidly. The last person in the room was Namine, lying on what almost looked like a table—her eyes were completely shut, and she almost looked serene.

"Looks like… they're already- w- working on Rewriting her…" Joseph had to force the words out of his mouth, and his voice was filled with dread.

"That's bad?" Toby asked.

"That's really bad."

Joseph's voice shook with fear.

"Should we go after her?" Sora asked. It wasn't even a question in his mind—Namine was much more important than Vexen.

"What about Riku?" Toby squinted at the screens.

Joseph navigated to a different section. "There!" He pointed, then he groaned. "He's close, but I don't think he's close enough!"

"Then let's go after her ourselves!" Sora said. He wasn't sure what they could do, but, at the very least, they could do something. It was only two people in the room, and all they really needed to do was get the Vexen away from the computer… And maybe figure out how to wake Namine.

"On it!" Joseph reached out to form a dark corridor, then reached his hand through experimentally. He hissed in pain after a moment, pulling his hand back out. "Blocked," he sighed, shaking his hand and closing the corridor. "But I can aim close."

He formed another dark corridor, and without hesitation stepped through. Sora waited long enough to make sure Toby got through, then went through himself.

Unfortunately, Xigbar was standing in their path.

"Nice to see you here, squirt!" Xigbar laughed, loading his guns. "Surprised Daddy 29 let you come, though."

"He didn't," Joseph replied, looking surprisingly threatening for a twelve-year-old with no weapon.

"Mmm… nope! Not surprised!" Xigbar just laughed again. "Now get out of here. My fight's not with you."

Joseph sent a glance over at Sora, then at Toby. Then he nodded, and opened his mouth—

"Go!" Sora shouted, pulling him back. "Get out of here!"

"But we need to get to Namine!" Joseph protested.

"I know. And I'll go to her as soon as I'm done here."

"She's down that hall. Third door on the right. I think." Joseph pointed to the hallway. "Definitely that hallway, though."

"Got it!"

"Try 'n hurry!" Joseph called, as he grabbed Toby by the hand and started running the opposite way of Xigbar. "I don't think we have much time!"

"Go see if you can get Riku!" Sora called after him, and then turned around to face Xigbar.

"My fight's not with you, either, kiddo," Xigbar said. He'd grown a lot more menacing since Joseph left the room. "You be on your way, too, and there's no need for you to get hurt."

Sora just summoned his blade. "Don't call me kiddo!" he cried, rushing forward to attack.