"How are you not suffering under this heat?" Johnny asked me.
"Because since I have the gift of the gift of being born black, my body has a more general resistance to the heat than your bodies. That's why I can take the heat better than you can, and you can take the cold better than I can. This isn't true for everyone, however, but I'm speaking in a general point of view," I explained to him. "That's why I don't play in the snow. Sure I can make thermal wear to make it more enjoyable, but I just prefer to stay inside. But even I can only take so much. It doesn't help that the water main is shot."
"Can't you build some kind of science thingy to keep us cool?" Johnny asked.
"Yes, I could. But what's going to help us with hydration? We don't have any water," I told Johnny.
"Lake Porkness is always an option," Susan suggested.
"That definitely sounds like a plan. Unlike the beach or the town pool, there's not much of a chance of it being full," I said.
"Then let's go! How are we going to get there?" Johnny asked.
"I'll call a cab," I said, going in their house to use their house phone. But first I would bring a towel and a spare set of clothes. I didn't see myself swimming for too long while I was here.
When we got out of the cab, the sparkling water that flowed down the lake immediately caught my attention. Regardless of my lack of need for the water to cool down, it still looked beautiful. It looked clean. Not like a polluted piece of shit that you see in a bunch of other cities. That definitely wasn't common, so this was a sight to behold.
"Lake Porkness," Johnny said in a narrative voice. "Water that's cool, refreshing. And look! A rope swing!"
"And the Porkness Monster that will eat us!" Dukey exclaimed, pointing at a sign that said, 'Beware of monsters.' "And tourists?" I looked over back over to the lake and saw that there were in fact tourists sailing the lake with a tour guide in a boat that resembled some loose interpretation of what the Porkness Monster looked like. I was not at all impressed.
But I saw Johnny's face light up with a little of that childlike gleam that rested in his bones since the day I met him. He then put his foot on the tip of the water's surface before Dukey pulled him back.
"Don't even think about it Johnny. No one has ever gone in Lake Porkness for years because... there's a man and dog eating creature in there!" Dukey yelled, waving his arms wildly. I rolled my eyes. I think he was overreacting like he tends to do almost all the time. But then I heard Susan scoff.
"Oh, please. The Porkness Monster is a total myth. The idea that an ancient plesiosaur got trapped in the lake is a scientific impossibility," she said.
"And that's how you look at it from a close minded approach. I personally believe any idea, whether scientifically possible or not, can in fact, be real unless there is solid evidence backing the fact that it does not in fact exist. This goes for all types of legends. Aliens, the boogeyman, world peace. I could go on, but I think you get my drift," I explained.
"Why'd you include world peace in that category?" Mary asked me.
"Have you seen the world we live in? The majority of the world's population is filled with people who are utterly greedy, stupid, selfish, or insane. When you're faced against those odds, the possibility of world peace is almost impossible in my eyes. If we achieve that, I'll think otherwise. But the world has to take substantial steps to even give me the slightest feeling that the world is trying," I explained to her.
"And don't forget to buy lots of Porkness Monster souvenirs for you and your family at... Flink Tourisberg's Porkness Monster Superstore," Flink said, gesturing to the store on the shore of the lake.
"You see? The monster has a famous gift shop. If it haves a gift shop, it must be real," Dukey said, raising his arms. "Who's with me? Great! Let's go home!" I shook my head. Trust Dukey to never take a risk in his life unless he was forced to.
"Here's what we do. You two jump in the lake, swim, and if you walk out alive, that proves there's no monster," Johnny said nonchalantly even though the twins didn't look as confident as he did.
"Uh..." they trailed.
"Are you scared?" Johnny said, baiting them into reacting to his words. "You said it was a myth and impossible and it's one hundred degrees out and we'll die from the hot, hot heat!" The two of them looked at each other for reassurance before looking back at Johnny and managing a tight nod.
"This is why I come prepared," I said before tossing a device the size of a Rubix Cube onto the ground. It instantly formed into a portable lab that we could work on some gear with. "Get to work. I'll work on something that'll work as some insurance that we don't run into anything dangerous."
The two twins nodded before we immediately got to work. I needed plenty of metal for the suit I was building to go underwater. Plus making an oxygen recycle tank, weapons, and other things that took a long time to make. When I was already to go, I looked like a muthafucking Terminator without their human disguises. At least, that's what I said when I saw the fruits of my labor. I had lasers, rockets, and the like built into the suit. No creature, legendary or average would stand a chance.
"Take this," I said, handing Johnny and Dukey a radio. "If we find anything, I'll contact you. You do the same if you find anything."
"Can do. And cool suit," Johnny said. I smiled as the twins came walking up to us, obviously finished with their equipment and ready to dive in.
"With the latest in camera and sonar equipment, we will prove to the town that the Porkness Monster is simply a hoax," Susan said.
"Just get in the water," Johnny said impatiently, pointing at the lake. The twins looked worriedly at the lake while I used the thrusters I built into suit to get to the top of the tree. I then turned my back to the lake and stood on one foot before falling down into the lake while doing several flips in midair before I splashed into the water. I smiled underneath my mask. That was so fun.
Then it wasn't long before I saw that the twins were propelled into the water, but it certainly wasn't by their own choice. I used my thrusters to propel myself towards them as they straightened up.
"I'm guessing Johnny had to push you?" I questioned, my voice sounding slightly robotic from the voice modulator that I unnecessarily added. But it was just awesome to have.
"Yes. I'm always annoyed when he does that," Mary said.
"But you would never do it if he didn't, and he knows that. So he pushes you. Simple," I told them.
"Doesn't mean it's right," Mary said stubbornly. I simply smiled and shook my head.
"Alright, alright Miss Stubborn. Whatever you say. How about we focus on finding out if this monster is a hoax or real. After all, that's the whole reason we came here in the first place," I reminded her.
"Of course," Susan said.
I followed the twins as they used their sonar tracker to try and find the remotest bit of proof that this monster exists. Personally, I was unsure on the matter. After all the crap I had been through, I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that the monster was real. I know Susan and Mary were dead set on proving that it was a hoax, but the possibility of it being true was definitely a possibility.
Next thing I knew, I saw something big and dark pass out of my vision, but I didn't quite see what it was. That definitely increased my suspicion about the situation, but when I turned around to try and see if I saw anything I didn't. If that actually was the monster, it certainly swims fast.
"Over here!" I suddenly heard Mary call out to me. I turned and saw that she was near some type of ramp over there. I turned up the boosters on my suit so I could get over to the track faster. I immediately caught sign of a sign that said, "Monster Launching Station."
"Well, well. Looks like it's a setup by the dude who owns that stupid gift shop," I said.
"I knew it was a hoax!" Susan exclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah. But we still gotta find the real monster," I said before all of a sudden the launching process had started up. All of a sudden, we were propelled forward and up out of the water. I used my boosters to stop myself in mid-air, but I saw Susan and Mary get launched into a pile of seaweed. I had to restrain myself from laughing at the sight.
"Oh my God," I said, still laughing as I floated down next to them. "Luckily all of that weed was there to break your fall."
"Go ahead. Laugh it up jumpsuit boy," Susan said, jerking her head to knock the frog off.
"Jumpsuit? My bio-suit is badass. That's number one. Number two, regardless of my 'jumpsuit,' I'm not in a pile of seaweed looking like something out of a horror movie," I said, pressing a button on the side of my helmet so they could see my smirk. "You look very mad right now."
"Whatever," Susan said in an irritated voice as she extracted herself out of the seaweed before I moved closer to Mary in a loud whisper.
"You know, I think she needs to learn to lighten up," I said with a wide smile.
"I heard that!" Susan exclaimed.
"You were supposed to!" I exclaimed back. To this, Mary had to restrain herself from laughing. I could tell she was struggling between taking my side or her sister's. But I held a hand out to Mary to help her out of the seaweed and tossed her in the water before doing a backwards dolphin dive into the water. God, it was so liberating being me.
We swam through the lake for a while with no sighting of the fake monster. It was kind of hard to find a specific presence in a lake when it's literally filled with hundreds of fish. I mentally groaned at the time I knew this was going to take.
"Uh... Robert?" I heard Johnny said on the radio I gave him through communication speakers in my helmet. Finally, something I knew was going to be entertaining. I knew it was going to involve the fake monster.
"You got yourself into some mess, didn't you?" I questioned.
"Well... yeah," Johnny said, making me sigh in an exasperated tone.
"What happened?" I asked.
"We sort of got swallowed by the fake Porkness Monster!" Dukey screamed all of a sudden.
"This is why I come prepared. I'll be there in a minute," I said, shutting off the communication before turning up my boosters so I could get in front of the twins. "This is where I leave you. Johnny's gotten himself into some trouble."
"Since when isn't he in trouble?" Susan questioned.
"This is true, but you should be able to take over from here," I said before boosting out of the water as fast as I could before flying up in the air. I then scanned the area as thoroughly as I could before I spotted the monster dashing all over the area. I shook my head before flying as fast as I could towards the monster.
"I would like one normal day in this town. One. But no. Porkbelly has to be a town like this. Even when it's not unnatural like this, it's weird in some type of way," I grumbled to myself as I flew on the monster's head. Now, I knew that they were inside, so it's not like I could blast it to pieces with the rockets. I'd have to improvise.
Activating the magnetic lock function I had on the gloves, I crawled on its head and moved over the the face part of the machine to see if I could find a way inside.
I made way over its forehead before I heard a loud boom. I moved back up on top of the robot to see that what seemed like the entire military in this town was after us. And they had intent to destroy the hell out of this thing. I needed to hurry. Luckily, it seemed Johnny or Dukey was a good driver and could stay out of the way of the missiles. But their luck wouldn't last forever. I needed to hurry.
I made way down the bridge of the monster's nose, and saw that this part did in fact have glass covering the eyes of the monster, the control center for the monster behind it. And Johnny along with Dukey looking panicked about the situation at hand. Couldn't blame them really.
I smashed through one of the windows with my right fist and jumped inside the eye before standing up straight, facing the two.
"Oh, thank you for getting here!" Dukey exclaimed.
"I wouldn't have to if you wouldn't get yourself into the situations in the first place. Ugh. Why do I have to live in this town?" I questioned.
"Cause your dad put you here. And you like us too much to let us go," Johnny deduced.
"That's unfortunately correct on both accounts. But whatever," I said, kneeling down to let Johnny get on my back and picking Dukey up before putting him on my shoulder. "Hang on."
I then boosted out of the glass eye I had broken out of and flew up into the sky. When I looked back, I saw that the monster was still going on what was seemingly auto pilot towards the river.
"Maybe we should've stopped it before we gotten out," Dukey said slowly.
"Nah. Let the military have it's fun shooting stuff. Personally, it's been a dull few days for them. I'm sure they appreciate the chance to blast crap," I said before flying back towards the main part of the lake. But then I saw that there was a bunch of stuff that wasn't there before. A roller coaster, an ice cream store... The scorch marks on them gave it away that the military blasted them here. Which wasn't all that bad to be honest.
"Well, at least we beat the heat. It's certainly a lot cooler now," Johnny said.
"At least you got that going for you," I said before putting two fingers on the part of the helmet where my ears should be to contact the twins. "Susan. Mary. Come in. The monster is down, I repeat, down."
"You found it? Did you get a picture of it?" Susan asked me.
"Nope. Though the fake machine's going rogue to the far sea. It won't be a problem. People'll just think that the military chased it off," I told them.
"We wanted to be the ones to prove it was a fake. Now we've lost the opportunity," Mary said. I rolled my eyes.
"Just get back here. It's starting to get late. We've been at work for a while," I said before shutting off the call. I hit the button on side of my helmet again so I could show my face before hitting another point on the suit to cause it to let me get out of it. I then hit a button on my phone in my pocket and the suit immediately sealed itself before flying off by itself back to my house. Every time something unnatural happened, I always made something awesome to make it worth it in the end.
"I'm a little sad that I didn't get to blow anything up, but meh. Can't win em all," I said I heard the lake stir up. I turned to see that two figures that were roughly Susan and Mary's size stepped out of the lake. But before I could say anything to them, I was interrupted by a loud yell.
"It's the creatures from the Porkbelly Lagoon! Run!" a woman yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. I face palmed. God, no wonder this Flink dude made a fortune off these people. They were completely gullible to anything that presents itself. I wouldn't say they were stupid in this case, cause the look these two currently had was pretty off setting, but still. My point was proven.
"And don't forget to buy your 'Creature From the Porkbelly Lagoon' T-shirts!" Flink exclaimed. I clenched my fingers. This guy was really starting to irritate me. But luckily the crowd of people running from Susan and Mary ran him over in the process, which put a smile to my face.
"Why are you running?!" Susan exclaimed after she removed her helmet. The people turned around at her shout and looked at her curiously. "We have proven that there are no monsters in the lake." Applause quickly followed after this statement, and Susan and Mary looked quite pleased with themselves.
"Yes there are," Johnny said, making the entire crowd gasp. "You dorks!"
"And... there's the traditional Johnny Test we all know and love," I said, gesturing an airy hand to him. But my attention was immediately seized by the sound of the helicopters and military jeeps approaching.
"Well then..." I trailed upon seeing them.
"Fire my favorite summertime explosives!" the General exclaimed.
"Uh oh," both twins said at the same time.
"Why would you be worried?" I asked them as I gestured to the missiles being launched into the sky. We didn't get an explosion, but an explosion of color from the fireworks.
"Hehe. Lake Porkness is a real blast," Dukey said. I put arm around Mary and Susan's shoulders regardless of the muck on them.
"I would say it is. Today was really fun. As much as I hate to admit it, I love when things get crazy here," I said.
"Hmm... Same here!" everyone exclaimed. I looked up at the sky to see the fireworks and smiled. I definitely wasn't heading home now. There was too much to do here now.
A/N: Whew! This is late as all living hell. Forgive me for that. I got a little too enthusiastic about writing a few of my other stories, therefore I kept putting this off. But I finally got it out, and that's all that matters. Hope to catch you all next time.