I am not turning this one into a separate story.

#14

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.
~Bryant H. McGill

"So how do you like working here?" Charlotte Griven asked.

"The cases are interesting and the work is intense," Alexa Pearlman said. "I kind of love it."

They were eating in the Bennington Sanitarium cafeteria. The food was surprisingly good. It was Pearlman's eighth day on the job as a staff psychologist. Her friend Charlotte was visiting. The place was a good fit for her and she finally felt like this was the place where she could thrive.

She saw him pass behind and audibly gasped. Aside from a height increase and wardrobe upgrade he looked exactly the same. She leaned her head down and hoped he didn't see her.

"Okay," Griven asked. "Who is he?"

"How do you know it is a 'he?'" she asked.

"Because 'he' walked in a diagonal path beyond us," she said. "So who is he?"

She had met Charlotte at the University of Las Vegas. She didn't know much about certain parts of her past.

"The reason I entered counseling in college," she muttered.

"I thought it was over your parent's divorce."

"That was part of the reason."

Griven carefully looked over at him and then looked back at her.

"He looks really, really sad," she said.

He cries in her nightmares.

"Alexa we've known each other a long time," she said seriously. "He looks a little young for you to have dated him especially since you prefer older guys. Who is he?"

She chose her words carefully.

"You know how I once told you I was something of a bully in high school?"

"Yeah,"

"That guy was a child prodigy in my high school. I tormented him once really badly."

Griven glanced at him again quickly. "Why would you torment a guy that sweet-looking?"

"I wanted to date the hottest guy in school. When the hottest guy in schools asks you to do something, you go for it."

"So what did you do to him?"

She couldn't look her in the eye.

"Alexa," Griven said. "Talk to me."

"You may not want to be friends with me afterwards."

"We all make big mistakes in life," she said calmly. "What's yours?"

It had been eating her for more than ten years. Maybe it was time to tell someone who wasn't a therapist.

"I knew he had a crush on me. So I used it to lure him to the goal posts where the hot guy and a bunch of our friends were waiting. We blindfolded and then stripped him naked. We then tied him to the goal posts. We threw his clothes in the dumpster. I think my friend Shelly loosened a knot before we left so a coach wouldn't find him there."

Griven just looked shocked. They sat for a moment staring at each other. Pearlman could hear sniffling. She quickly glanced around and saw him sniffling into his pasta. Whatever was bothering must really hurt.

Griven stood up. "I'm going to talk to him," she said.

"Charlotte please," she said desperately.

"Not about you," she said. "The guy looks like he could use someone to talk to."

"Or be left alone," she said getting into counseling mode.

"He can tell me to scram if he doesn't want to talk," she said picking up her plate. "I'll see you later."

"Charlotte—"

"I know you're sorry," Griven said. "But I need a little time to process this and he looks like he needs a friend."

"Okay," she said standing up and picking up her own plate. "See you later."

"Bye," Griven said and turned her attention to the guy she bullied.

She dropped off her plate and saw that he was talking to her. He looked miserable she sensed he liked talking to her friend. Pearlman left before she did something impulsive.

…

She never knew his last name. He was just "little Spencer" to her and everyone else. She reviewing the visitor's log the next day when she saw his name. It was also the last name of patient with a special notation. She wasn't one of her patients and she didn't want to look her up. The guilt was threatening to eat her alive.

She saw him again that same day on the administration floor. She could tell he was trying not let his knees shake. Pearlman quickly turned so he wouldn't see her. Whatever was going on with him and the woman who shared his name must be intense.

Pearlman had an open bottle of wine and was watching trashy TV on a Friday night when Griven called.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hey," she said back.

"I know you know what you did was wrong," she said. "I also know, because I know you that you have grown up and it is probably eating at you now seeing him around."

"I hear a 'but' or a 'yet' coming," Pearlman said.

"You never bothered to learn a thing about him did you?" she said.

"Charlotte," Pearlman said. "What did he say to you?"

"He really needs a friend in Las Vegas and I'm going to be that friend until he's ready to go home," she said. "I'll call you again in a few days."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Give me a few more days okay," she said. "Bye," she said and ended the call.

"Bye," Pearlman said out loud.

…

They were eating lunch at his favorite breakfast spot in Vegas.

"I can't thank you enough for being here for me Charlotte," Reid said.

"I'm happy to do so," she said slowly digging into her omelet.

"Is there something bothering you?"

"No," she said suddenly. "Yes," she said. "I forget sometimes that you're a profiler."

"That has nothing to do with anything," he said. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm friends with Alexa Pearlman," she blurted out.

The name didn't register with him.

"Right, she's divorced. I'm friends with Alexa Vega," she said.

It hit Reid like a punch to the stomach. That name. A name he hadn't heard in years. It brought back so many memories and none of them pleasant.

"I promise, she's changed," Griven said. "She's not mean and she's been in therapy for years."

"What does she do?" Reid asked.

"She's a psychologist, at the Bennington Sanitarium. But not in the same area where you mother is. I promise."

Reid gulped. "Do you know what she did to me?"

"Yes," she said. "We saw you in the cafeteria. She put her head down and after some prompting, she described the bullying incident."

Reid didn't say anything.

"I don't know what to do honestly. I know I should forgive her because I know she feels terrible now but what she did was truly awful."

"I want to meet her," Reid said suddenly.

"Why?" Griven asked.

"If she's been carrying around this huge amount of guilt maybe it would make her a better psychologist if she were to meet me."

"If that is what you want."

"I do."

"I'll call her and arrange it."

"Thank you Charlotte."

"I hope this brings you peace Spencer."

…

They were meeting at a casual dining place not far from the sanitarium. Reid still couldn't believe the odds of her working there where his mom was. They'd be running into each other occasionally and maybe it was a good thing that they agreed to meet.

Alex was still as pretty as ever. She was dressed professionally with a few hints of glamour. Reid couldn't understand why he still felt attracted to her, but he still did.

Reid stood up when she approached him. She looked anxious.

"I am horrendously sorry for what I did to you," she said as soon as she made eye contact with him.

"We haven't even ordered drinks," Reid said trying to lighten the mood as he sat down.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to say that but never had the courage to do so," she said as she sat down.

The waiter appeared. He ordered coffee, she ordered water.

"I'm not sure if Charlotte told you, but I have been in therapy. I have learned to forgive myself in order to become a better person in the future. I volunteer at a woman's shelter. I started as an art major but switched to psychology when I realized the counseling I was receiving made me want to help other people."

"How'd you end up at the Bennington Sanitarium?"

"I dated and then married a professor while working on a college campus. The marriage didn't end well and I realized I needed to re-evaluate my choices again. I had grown close to my grandma over the years and thought working with older patients might be a good fit. I had a friend from grad school who works here and he helped me get a job."

"You've had quite a life," Reid said.

"That is one way of describing it. Can I ask about yours?" she said anxiously. "Charlotte mentioned something about you working for the FBI."

"I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico," he said. "I study patterns and look for clues that lead to the UNSUB, unknown subject, or perpetrator as another word for it."

"I knew you'd amount to something incredible," Pearlman said.

"You did?"

"You were-are smart Spencer. I think some kids were jealous especially when you covered your papers during tests."

"There I thought outside the basketball team all you saw in me was a miniature punching bag," he said.

She took a deep breath. "Spencer I never told you why I did what I did. I wanted to be with Parker Neilson, the hottest guy in school. If he told me to jump off the Rio I would have done it. I know I could have said no but I didn't."

"That puts things in a little bit of perspective," Reid said. "I always thought you were so sweet."

"And I thought you were so cute," she said suddenly. "For a twelve-year-old," she hastily added.

Reid turned slightly red. "Thank you, I guess."

"And now you've turned out to be really cute, for a guy," she said and suddenly realized what she was say. "I am really sorry for blurting that out."

"I don't think you are," Reid said and suddenly laughed. "The prettiest girl in school admits she thinks I'm cute. A bit of a role-reversal."

"Can we start over," she asked. "Like as in pre-high school torment incident." Pearlman offered her hand. "Hi I'm Dr. Alexa Pearlman. I used to be a high school bully. Now I've dedicated my life to helping others as a psychologist."

Reid shook it. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. I was bullied terribly in high school. Now I've dedicated my life to helping others as an FBI agent."

The waiter appeared with their drinks. "Do you need a few extra minutes?"

"I think so," Reid said pick up the menu for the first time.

"Me too," Pearlman said.

She picked up her drink. "Cheers to a brighter future," she said.

"Cheers."

…

Reid was in his hotel room beginning to pack his things as he spoke to Prentiss.

"I think I want to stay and work in Vegas for a few months," he said. "Rossi told me I should consider being there for my mom as much as I can and this is where I'm needed."

"I understand Spencer," she said. "Is there by any chance another reason why you might be staying Vegas?"

"What makes you ask that?"

"The smile in your voice you didn't have yesterday," she said.

"Maybe I do but I'm not prepared to discuss it yet."

"You know we don't like it when you keep secrets from us."

"I promise I'll share when I'm ready," he said.

"You better."

"I will," he said and hung up.

There was a knock on his door. Pearlman appeared.

"Are you ready?"

"I could always get another hotel room," he said.

"Why waste the money when you can stay with me or Charlotte?"

"Thanks again," he said and pulled his luggage out of his room.

"Any time for you Spencer," she said.

They walked out together hand in hand.