Chapter 241

Kairi was sitting on one of the couches in the Main Room—was it the Main Room? It was the room with all the couches. But how was she supposed to know if there was only one? Regardless…

She was sitting on one of the couches and trying her hardest not to cry. She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry so bad. But crying in front of a bunch of people wasn't appealing (well, there were maybe five total in this room. Still…), and she wasn't certain she'd find privacy easily. Actually, no, she was certain she could find privacy—she was just scared she'd never be able to find her way back to civilization after that.

After who knows how long of frustrated sniveling (she'd left her water behind and didn't have anything to blow her nose with—plus did time even pass normally here?) Kairi was quite relieved to see Roxas. No, wait, she was embarrassed to see Roxas. To have him see her crying like this. She was…

"Something wrong?" Roxas asked.

She looked up at him.

"What makes you think that?" she asked in response.

"You're crying."

She wiped her eyes. "Right."

"Do you want to talk about it? I feel like I should offer," Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "I dunno. My head's been kinda funny ever since I got my memories back. Like I'm still adjusting to fully remembering who I am? Not that you'd understand."

Kairi shook her head.

"Sorry. Off topic. You okay?"

Kairi chewed her lip. She wanted to talk to him. She didn't want to talk to him. She hardly knew him—beach date aside. (And not like it was actually a date.)

"Or do you not want to talk? Because I should probably assure you that's okay too."

Kairi nearly laughed at him. What came out of her throat was more of a sob. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"For the most part," he replied. "But that's beside the point. Kairi, what's wrong?"

That was it, that's all it took. One sincere look of his blue eyes, a little softness in his tone. Just enough like Sora to break her. Not enough like Sora to upset her.

"They don't think they can fix Namine," she said, and then she really started crying.

She told Roxas as many details as she could, but tried not to spew all of her feelings at him at the same time. He was like Sora. He wasn't Sora. She couldn't afford to be completely vulnerable with him. It was second nature, and she had to keep catching herself.

He ended up sitting down next to her somewhere in there, and that only made things worse. Not that she could ask him to get up. He wouldn't understand. Would he understand? Who was Xion? Was she anything like Kairi?

Kairi rubbed her face with exhaustion and tried to center her thoughts. Bunnytrails in her head aside, she was pretty sure she'd managed to tell Roxas everything she could.

"Well, okay," Roxas said, slowly. He looked like he was still processing it. He didn't get quite the same thinking face Sora did, but it was similar enough. "I'm not even going to comment about what I think about fixing her and not being able to and blah blah blah." He shooed the matter aside with his hand. "More importantly, has anyone even considered trying to restore her memories to her?"

Kairi opened her mouth. Closed it. Reconsidered. Said: "No… that never did come up. But I imagine they aren't on the database or whatever? Probably?" She shrugged.

"They're probably not," Roxas agreed. Then he leaned a little closer to her, and his voice dropped into an excited whisper. "But neither were mine."

"I. What."

Roxas pulled away from her and rolled his eyes. "My memories weren't on the database. Geeze you're slow."

"I still don't get—oh! Oh!"

His memories hadn't been on the database, but he'd able to regain them just fine.

"Do… do you think it'll work?" Kairi asked.

"Yeah!" Roxas got to his feet. "Yeah it should. It may not be a perfect solution but, hey, it's a step up in'nit?"

Kairi shrugged. "I guess…" She still wasn't entirely clear on this whole deal, and Roxas's not-quite-straight answers were only confusing her further.

"Listen," Roxas said, gently. Determined. "Memories are a big part of a person and who you are—if you remember who you were it will affect who you are. Your attitude 'n everything. You remember how you used to act so you continue to act that way—it's how Nobodies pretend they have hearts."

"And… it'll make a difference in Namine?" Kairi asked. Her heart seemed to be in her throat. "It really will?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't," Roxas beamed at her. "She may not be exactly the same as she used to be, but she'll have her memories, and I think that's all that matters. Besides, you can't expect her to stay the same forever—that's bull!"

"Then… then why was anyone worried?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Roxas sent her a curious glance. "Personality and memories go hand in hand. If they didn't have either, of course they were worried."

"I think… I follow…" Kairi said.

"Good because that is about the extent of my knowledge on this subject."

That got Kairi to laugh a little. She stood up.

"How do we get her memories back, though?" she asked "Can we get them back?"

Roxas clapped her on the shoulder, and flashed her a grin—and it was truly his own grin, not Sora's imitated on his face. "'Course you can," he told her. "You did for me."

"Yeah… yeah! We can do this."

"Correction: you can do this."

"What?" Kairi frowned at him. "You aren't going to help?"

"I don't think I can help," Roxas said. "I mean, I don't even know Namine."

"That's fair," Kairi admitted. "Hmm…" She chewed on her lip, trying to think of how she was even going to go about getting Namine's memories back, anyway. With Roxas, all she did was talk to him. But she'd tried doing just that with Namine, and it hadn't worked.

Was there something else she could do? Was there—

Oh.

Kairi looked up, determined. "There is a way you can help, though," she told Roxas. "I need something from the Islands. Think you can take me there?"

"Sure thing!" Roxas reached out next to him, forming a dark corridor.

Kairi grimaced a little at the sight of it, but—well, she'd been expecting it, so she didn't protest as she ducked through.

"What are we looking for?" Roxas asked.

"My bag…" Kairi answered, with a frown. It wasn't within immediate sight, though there was probably no way Roxas could have taken her right to where she'd left it anyway. She didn't even entirely remember where she'd been when she'd dropped it! She'd been too focused on talking to that wolf to pay attention to which spot specifically on the Islands they'd been at the time. She kind of regretted leaving it behind.

Finally, though, they found it.

The first thing Kairi did was reach into it and pull out her portable CD player, checking to make sure it still worked—it did.

Roxas squinted at it, and at her.

"What good's that gonna do?" he asked.

"It's… stupid," Kairi admitted, as she slung her bag over her shoulder, and clutched the CD player in her hands. "But… Namine did it once, for me. And it worked then. Maybe it'll work again."