Guys for real I cannot believe this is almost done! I have a concert to go to tomorrow so I'm going to try to write most of the finale tonight

"$10."

Jessica flipped a page of her magazine over, ignoring the exasperated, desperate groans of Malcolm.

"You're gonna have to do better than that," she said, smirking.

Malcolm couldn't believe he was doing this, AGAIN, but he was three steps away from groveling on the floor and begging for Jessica's silence. Ever since she had walked in on him and Reese in very... compromising positions, she had been blackmailing him when and if he tried to have sex with Reese, which was constantly, whenever she came by. If they wanted to be gross, she had said, be her guest, but it came with a price.

"COME ON, it's like, all the money I have," Malcolm pleaded. "We'll even be quiet!"

"Not good enough. I know how you two are. Dewey, you can back me up on this right?"

"Yes," Dewey said, annoyed. "Loud. All the time. When I'm trying to sleep.

"Besides," she continued, "that is definitely not 'all the money you have'. Reese keeps a spare $20 in his sock drawer. 'For emergencies'," she mouthed, finally looking up at his annoyed, pinched little face. "Would you say this is an emergency, Malcolm?"

"I'm not going to DIE from lack of sex."

"And I said I wouldn't babysit for free, but look where we are now."

Malcolm frowned. "I know you think I'm some horny teenage maniac, but I'm not. I can go without it."

Jessica went back to her magazine. "Suit yourself, then."

Itching the back of his neck, Malcolm thought it over. Jessica's silence probably wasn't worth $30, but the thought of his parents finding out scared him enough to fork over his college fund. On the other hand, getting their parents out of the house was hard enough, which rarely left any time for THAT, and Jessica didn't judge OR tell anyone. And if Malcolm was being really, really honest with himself, he WAS a horny teenage maniac. He had already started to twitch.

Guess she won, then.

Malcolm left the room for a moment and came back with a single $20 bill crumpled in his fist. He forked it over to Jessica.

"THERE. Can I go now?"

She nodded. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." She smiled as Malcolm left again, calling out in an overly cheerful voice, "stay safe, boys!"

"Are you ever going to actually tell?" Dewey asked, raising one thin blonde eyebrow.

"And deprive myself of this fantastic source of income? Never."