Chapter 4

Later that evening

January 19th, 1999

The 5 Bar Karaoke Lounge

It was amazing what several drinks and a broken heart could do to loosen a man's inhibitions. Scott was already belting out his second song in the packed karaoke bar. He hadn't sung anything in public since he was thirteen years old and was still part of his eighth-grade choir. But this evening, he didn't care. He wanted to lose himself into oblivion.

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round,

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,

It was a fitting choice for a song, Scott thought. When 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' first came out in 1983, he made fun of it for its over the top power ballad qualities. Now he felt the lyrics couldn't better describe the state of his heart.

Once upon a time I was falling in love,

But now I'm only falling apart,

There's nothing I can do,

A total eclipse of the heart…

After seeing Jean with her family earlier that day, he knew he couldn't go back home. Too many things at the mansion reminded him of her. He left a message with Hank saying he needed to be alone for a while and not to worry about him. Scott knew he had to move on. But first, he needed a drink… or two… or three… So, he ended up at this bar. He hadn't known it was a karaoke bar until he walked in, but he soon found himself on stage and belting out eighties tunes.

Once upon a time there was light in my life,

But now there's only love in the dark,

Nothing I can say,

A total eclipse of the heart…

Scott noticed his words to the song were slightly slurred, most likely a bi-product of all the alcohol he'd consumed. When he finished singing, he was greeted by enthusiastic applause by the audience in the packed bar. On any other day, a standing ovation would have made Scott feel self-conscious. At the moment, he was a little too drunk to care. He handed the microphone to the next patron ready to take the stage, and he slowly made his way back to the bar.

He motioned for the bartender to refill his rum and coke. He quickly glanced at his watch and noticed it was only 9:30pm. Plenty of time to get even more wasted, he figured. He looked back up to the stage and the guy singing couldn't carry a tune to save his life. He was singing 'I'd Do Anything For Love' and Scott had to cringe at the man's off-key singing. It was so bad it was enough to make Scott drop a hundred-dollar bill to cover his drinks and tip. Before he could get up, he heard a feminine voice behind him say, "You have a great singing voice. I'm surprised I've never seen you here before."

He turned around to see an attractive blonde with a pixie bob haircut. She stood about 5'7" wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket, complimented by her black-heeled ankle boots. She looked to be around her mid-twenties.

"It's my first time here," Scott answered, taking a sip of his drink.

"You should come here more often, we need more patrons that can carry a tune," the woman said, smiling flirtatiously at him.

Scott couldn't help but smile at her compliment. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Alison Blaire," the woman said, extending her hand out to Scott.

He accepted her hand and answered, "Scott Summers."

"Nice to meet you, Scott," Alison said, giving him a dazzling smile.

"Likewise," Scott said, taking another sip of his drink.

"What's with the shades? It's dim enough here as it is."

"Umm… Eye condition," Scott answered, evasively.

The lady seemed to be able to take a hint and dropped the subject. "So, who broke your heart?" Alison asked, casually.

Scott was momentarily taken aback by the question, but quickly regained his composure. "What makes you think that?"

"C'mon… A handsome guy like yourself, drinking all alone at a bar like this? Serenading everyone here with 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'? I've seen too many of your kind over the years," Alison said.

"Hmm… I'd rather not talk about it," Scott answered.

"Fair enough. So, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, inching even closer to Scott.

Scott shrugged. "I didn't really come here to talk."

"Well… There are certainly other things we can do… Other than talk…" Alison said, slowly putting a suggestive hand on Scott's arm.

Scott's first instinct was to pull away and tell her he wasn't interested. But then he stopped himself at the last second. Why shouldn't he spend some time with an attractive woman? There was no doubt in his mind that Jean was with her husband at that exact moment, doing things Scott didn't even want to imagine. Wasn't he just telling himself he needed to put Jean behind him?

"What'd you have in mind?" Scott asked tentatively.

"How about… you and me… my place?"

Scott hesitated. It wasn't like him to hook up with a complete stranger. Hell, he'd never even been intimate with a woman before… at least not that he remembered. But then again, wasn't tonight supposed to be about throwing caution to the wind? Didn't he want to lose himself into oblivion? Scott looked at Alison's outstretched hand for a quick moment. Then, gathering all the courage the alcohol had given him, he reached for her hand.

Thirty minutes later

Scott found himself in Alison's apartment. His head was still a bit fuzzy from all the drinks, but the effects of the alcohol weren't as bad as it had been at the bar. Alison led him to her bedroom and after shutting the door behind her, turned on some music, and made a motion for him to get on the bed.

Scott sat on her bed and she moved towards him. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She looked from his lips then back up to his eyes. "Will you remove your shades?" she asked.

"Can't," Scott answered.

She shrugged. "Alright, I don't mind a little mystery."

Scott realized that Alison was initiating everything. Afraid to look like a green lad, he grabbed her hips and pulled their bodies closer together. The music faded into the background and Alison pressed her lips to Scott's.

Scott reciprocated, but couldn't help but notice there wasn't much heat between them. Then suddenly, an image of Jean and him making love in a bedroom he didn't recognize invaded his mind. What the hell? Where'd that come from? He tried pushing the image out of his mind, attributing the vivid image to wishful thinking. Then another image came to his mind, of him and Jean making out in the backseat of some vehicle. What was wrong with him? Couldn't he have sex with a woman without Jean invading every nook and cranny of his mind?!

Alison began unbuttoning his shirt when his hands instinctively stopped her. Scott hadn't even realized he'd done that. It was like his hands had a mind of their own. He looked at the woman before him who had a look of confusion in her eyes. Scott felt awful for having led her on… But he knew he couldn't go through with it. He didn't know why… But it didn't feel right. Sleeping with this stranger wasn't going to help him get over Jean. Perhaps nothing ever would.

"I'm sorry, Alison. I feel awful… but I can't…" Scott said, buttoning his shirt back up. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea… I umm… had every intention of-"

"It's okay, Scott. I understand," Alison said, giving him a sad smile.

"Maybe it's just too soon… I don't know," Scott hedged.

"She's one lucky lady to have earned such devotion from you," Alison said.

Scott laughed mirthlessly. "It's a long story… She's married. I have to live with that."

"You missed the bus, huh?" Alison said, sympathetically. "Perhaps we did go a little too fast. You just seemed like someone who wanted to spend a night forgetting… How about we try again? How about a date?" Alison offered.

Scott smiled. "I think that'd be better. Are you sure you want to go on a date with me? I'm obviously pretty messed up. I think you deserve better."

"Let me decide what I deserve. And besides, I like you, Scott. You have to get over her eventually… why not with me?"

"Alright then… How about Friday night? I could pick you up. We could go for dinner," Scott suggested.

"I think I'd like that. I'll give you my number," Alison said, grabbing a pen off her desk and writing her number on the back of Scott's hand.

Scott thanked her for being so understanding and apologized again for everything. He grabbed his jacket from her living room couch and made his way out of her apartment. Most men would have jumped at the chance that Alison was offering for the night. But Scott could only feel relief that things didn't go any further. What the hell was wrong with him?

An hour later

Scott just handed two twenties to his cab driver and told him to keep the change. He looked down at his watch and saw that it was just before 11:30pm. He was glad it was late. Most everyone at the mansion would be asleep by then. He wasn't in the mood to see anyone. He just wanted to forget the whole day ever happened.

He walked up to the mansion gate when an anxious telepathic voice intruded on his thoughts. **Scott? Where are you?** It was Jean. Why would she be looking for him at this hour?

**Jean? Is everything alright? I'm just outside the mansion gates. I'm just making my way to the house and am about to turn in for the night.**

**I've been searching for you for the past two hours. I've been so worried. I was about to use Cerebro if you hadn't answered just now.**

**Why were you so worried? I let Hank know,** Scott answered, unsure of why Jean was so anxious over his whereabouts.

**All you said to Hank was that you wanted to be alone and for him not to worry. I already asked him. Could you have been any more vague?** Scott could almost feel Jean's relief and exasperation all at once. Shouldn't she be worrying over her own husband and kids?

**I don't mean to be rude, Jean… But I don't owe anyone an explanation,** Scott relayed to Jean mentally.

Scott finally got into the mansion and started his way up the stairs. He turned the corner at the top of the stairs towards his room. He opened the door and was more than a little surprised to find Jean sitting on his bed, a tired look on her otherwise beautiful face. A feeling of guilt washed over him, although he wasn't entirely sure why. He hadn't done anything wrong.

"You're still injured, Scott… Until you're entirely recovered you need to let us know where you are at all times. Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Jean said, continuing their mental conversation out loud. "You were too far for me to reach telepathically. You could have been lying hurt somewhere and no one would have known. Do you know that the injury to your brain makes you more prone to strokes and possibly aneurysms?!"

Scott felt beyond awful. Jean was right. As usual, he'd been selfish, unable to look beyond his own pain. He couldn't seem to do anything right. He felt like a teenager being chastised by the school principal. "Obviously, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, Jean. But, you really didn't have to come here this late at night to check that I'm okay. The professor is here. So are Hank, Kurt, Raven and Ororo. Hell, even Peter would probably notice if I never came home."

"They don't worry about you like I do!" Jean said.

"And why is that?" Scott asked.

Jean opened her mouth about to answer, then closed it just as quickly. She was obviously going to say something to him, then thought better of it. Scott had no idea what in the world was up with Jean. She was not acting like the Jean he remembered.

And what about her husband? Was he fine with her spending all her time with her injured colleague? Was he fine with her being out at almost midnight in the bedroom of some other man? What kind of a husband was this guy? If Jean were his wife, there'd be no way she'd have a rendezvous with a single man at almost midnight in his bedroom. He didn't care if the guy was injured or not.

"Look, Jean," Scott said, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I'm tired and I feel the onset of a headache coming on. Can we continue this conversation another time? I'm sorry that I worried you. It won't happen again."

"I'm sorry too, Scott, I didn't mean to jump down your throat like that. I know the last couple of weeks have been really hard for you," Jean said, her voice softening.

"Thanks, I appreciate that," Scott said, taking a seat next to Jean on the bed.

Jean turned to Scott and gave him an odd look. She leaned into him ever so slightly, a perplexed look still on her face. "Is something wrong, Jean?" Scott asked.

"Scott… why do you smell like a mix of liquor and perfume?"

To be continued…

So, I was watching old re-runs of Ally McBeal and guess who I saw guest starring on several episodes… Yup, James Marsden! And I had no idea he could sing so well. That's what gave me the idea of Cyclops singing in a karaoke bar. I have no idea if Cyclops can actually sing or not, but I wanted to throw it in there anyway.

And yes, for those who noticed, Alison Blaire is Dazzler. I was watching the X-Men Animated series from the 90's and I remember Jean caught Scott kissing her in one of the Phoenix Saga episodes, hence my idea to include her in this chapter. I'm not a fan of making up entirely new characters, hence the reason I used her in this chapter.