Chapter 5
"What? Do I?" Scott asked, instinctively moving away from Jean and trying to smell himself.
"Scott… Where have you been?" Jean asked. Scott couldn't understand why there was fear in her voice.
"I was at a bar… I had a few drinks… Met some girl… We went back to her place…" Scott said, his voice somehow getting quieter and quieter with each word.
For the longest moment, Jean stayed silent. "You what?! Oh, my God!" Jean gasped, a look of pure horror on her face. She covered her mouth and choked back a sob. Scott was completely taken aback by her reaction. Dear God, what was wrong with her? What did he do?
"Jean, are you alright?" Scott asked. He was beyond worried. She looked like she was hyperventilating.
"Did… you… sleep with… her?" Jean asked, between breaths.
"Umm… Why would you ask?" Scott asked, not sure why Jean would ask him something so private.
Jean seemed to regain some control after a moment and asked again, with more force this time. "Did you sleep with her?!"
Scott was feeling really uncomfortable, not to mention embarrassed. "Jean, I don't think that's any of your-"
"Did you sleep with her?!" Jean yelled, tears streaming down her face. "Did you sleep with her?!" Jean cried, hitting Scott repeatedly on the chest until he took both her wrists and put a stop to it.
"What's gotten into you, Jean?!" Scott yelled, unsure what the hell was going on.
"Answer me!" Jean screamed.
"Shhhh! We're going to wake up the whole floor, Jean!" Scott said. "And if you must know… No, I did not sleep with anyone! And what the hell does it matter, anyway?!"
Jean stared at Scott, ignoring his question. She looked like she was deciding on the merit of what he just told her. It seemed she believed his answer when she let out a breath and put her face in her hands, quiet sobs emanating from her. It broke Scott's heart to see Jean in such distress, but he was still confused as to why his sex-life, or lack thereof, even mattered to her.
"Umm… Jean?" Scott asked, gently placing a hand on her trembling shoulder. "Do you want me to call anyone for you? Your husband maybe? You're obviously not okay."
"My what?" Jean asked, a look of pure confusion on her face.
"Your husband. Maybe he should come get you… I mean, I'd take you home myself if I still had my motorcycle… You're obviously too distressed to drive," Scott said.
"I never told you I had a husband… What made you think that?" Jean asked.
"Your umm… your wedding ring," Scott said, nodding at her left hand.
Jean let out a small gasp. She mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like "shit" to Scott. "That's why you were acting like such a jerk," Jean whispered.
"Excuse me?" Scott asked.
"This whole time… You thought I was married to someone else…" Jean said. Scott wasn't sure if she was talking to him or herself, she looked so deep in thought and her voice was barely a whisper.
"Jean, what are you talking about?" Scott asked.
Jean slowly wiped the tears from her eyes, sat straight and stared Scott straight in the eyes through his ruby quartz lenses. "You're in love with me. Admit it, Scott."
Scott sputtered. "No…Umm… I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You told me so yourself," Jean said, not giving an inch.
Scott wasn't sure if this was a trap of some kind. "Look, Jean… I don't know where this is all coming from…"
"You woke up from your coma, saw my wedding band, and you came to the conclusion that I was married. Then thinking you've lost your chance with me, you went further into your shell, treating me no better than a stranger. Tell me I'm wrong, Scott."
Scott felt cornered. "You're wrong!" Scott yelled, getting up and heading towards the door.
But Jean was quick. She grabbed Scott's arm, and spun him around to face her. "Don't lie to me, Scott! Tell me the truth!"
They both stared each other down for several seconds. Scott was the first to blink. "Fine! You want to strip me of what little pride I have left? Alright, I'll admit it. I'm in love with you! When I woke up and found out you were married… It was like waking up to my worst nightmare!" Scott yelled, a tight feeling in his chest.
"You could have said something instead of-"
"And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I saw you with your husband and children today at the McDonalds in the mall," Scott said, interrupting Jean. "Imagine seeing the life you always wanted but could never have being played out in front of you."
"Scott, I-"
"So yes, Jean… To my everlasting shame, I still find myself in love with you… a married woman." Scott said, dropping his head in his hands. "I didn't know how to handle it… So, I went out to get pissed drunk tonight. I just wanted to forget you. This woman at the bar started talking to me… then she invited me back to her place. I figured, why not? But then at the last minute… I couldn't bring myself to sleep with her. Thoughts of you invaded my mind the entire time. I've never felt like less of a man as I made my excuse to leave."
"First of all, Scott… You did the right thing by trusting your instincts tonight and coming home instead of spending the night… elsewhere," Jean said, obviously using 'elsewhere' as a euphemism. "Second of all, you didn't understand what you saw at the mall today."
"What do you mean?" Scott asked.
"I was against keeping your past from you. But the doctor insisted we give you a few weeks to try and regain your memories on your own. We didn't want to influence your mind into trying to choose which memories were more important and which weren't. We were afraid doing so would potentially hinder your progress. I can see now that that was a mistake."
"What Doctor Graham said made sense… That's why I didn't push harder when you all kept mum about my past… I figured it was for the best. Why do you think it was a mistake?" Scott asked.
"Because… You've done nothing but suffer these past two weeks… And also, because…" Jean paused, taking a deep breath. "You almost, inadvertently… committed adultery."
Scott was speechless for a moment. Then Jean's words sunk in. "Wait… what? Are you telling me, I'm married?"
Jean nodded. "Happily so… until you lost your memories."
"I see…" Scott said. But he didn't really.
"What you saw today, Scott… Wasn't what you thought. The man you saw me with today wasn't my husband. He was a friend from my modelling days-"
"Yeah, I thought I recognized him. Duncan Matthews. I met him a couple of times-"
"Yes, you did. But I hadn't seen him in almost ten years prior to today. We chatted for several minutes, and that was that. We didn't even exchange phone numbers," Jean said.
"What are you trying to tell me, Jean?" Scott asked, afraid to jump to the conclusion he so desperately wanted.
"I'm saying that you almost cheated on me," Jean whispered, a pained expression on her delicate face.
Scott was stunned silent. Dear God, if Jean were pulling his leg, it'd be the cruelest joke anyone had ever played on him. But Jean wasn't cruel, and she would never do anything to ever hurt him… intentionally anyway. So, the next thing Scott doubted was his own hearing.
"Did I hear you right, Jean? I uhhh… I… almost cheated on you?" Scott asked, tentatively.
Jean nodded, her eyes shiny with tears she refused to let fall. "… Almost…" Jean said, softly.
"I'm your husband?" Scott asked, finally putting into words what he was so afraid to even hope for.
"The only one I have," Jean said, drolly.
Scott was speechless. He slowly made his way back to the bed. He felt just a tad lightheaded. "I think I need to sit down."
"How was it that you never even considered the possibility that I was your wife when you saw my wedding ring? I was by your side almost every moment at the hospital. I kept coming to see you here even when you kept pushing me away. I cooked every day just so I could bring you something to eat… If that didn't seem like love to you, then what did you think it was? A serious case of like?" Jean said with a hint of sarcasm.
"We weren't exactly in a good spot in our friendship last I remembered… And uhh… I didn't have a wedding ring on me," Scott said, smiling sheepishly.
Jean gave a small smile back. "You were washing dishes the night of the accident. You took it off and forgot to put it back on… I have it at home."
"Home? We don't live here at the mansion anymore, do we?" Scott asked.
"Not anymore," Jean answered.
"Well, good… You have no idea how much of a loser I felt like the last couple of weeks thinking this was all I had to show for my life," Scott said, waving his arms around the sparsely decorated room.
Jean laughed. "We stayed here for a while, even after we married. But just before Rachel was born, Professor Xavier gave us the Boathouse about half a mile from here."
"Is that her name? The little girl I saw you with today… The one who looked just like you?" Scott asked, picturing the little girl who was Jean's miniature.
Jean smiled, the first genuine, from-the-heart, smile Scott's seen on her face that night. She was obviously a proud mother. "She may look like me, but don't let that fool you… She takes after you in every other way."
"My God! I'm a father!" Scott said, completely in awe.
"Of two…" Jean added, moving to sit beside Scott.
"The baby I saw… It's a boy?" Jean nodded.
"What's his name?" Scott asked.
"Nathan Christopher. But we just call him Nate. Rachel calls him 'my brudder'," Jean said, chuckling. Scott laughed at that.
"I didn't get a good glimpse of him, I'm afraid," Scott said.
"If you're feeling up to it, we could bring the children home tomorrow, so you can see them," Jean said.
"Where are they now?" Scott asked.
"I left them with my parents this afternoon. It was hard for me to care for them and care for you at the same time. So, I thought I'd leave them with my folks for a few days while I spent more time with you. You seemed to be spiraling into a depression and I was very worried for you… Now I know the cause of it," Jean said.
Scott sighed deeply. He felt completely ashamed of how he had treated Jean. He could only imagine the stress she'd been under. For all intents and purposes, she'd been a single mother since his accident. He didn't even know how to start making amends. "I… unreservedly apologize, Jean… For everything! I acted like a complete asshole to you-"
"It wouldn't be the first time." Jean's words were softened by the small smile she gave Scott.
Scott smiled as well, remembering his less charming days when they first met. "Anyway, I have no excuse, Jean… I was angry and jealous, and I fell into a quicksand of self-pity that I couldn't get out of… I'm afraid that having lost a decade of my memories, left me a less experienced… I'm sorry to say, less matured man," Scott said, sadly.
"Thank you, Scott. I accept your apology. And to be honest, I owe you one as well… I should have trusted my instincts and just told you about us right from the beginning. I try to imagine how I would have reacted had our positions been reversed. I'm afraid I probably would have acted in much the same way… I couldn't bear the thought of you having a family with another woman, Scott. I would have been devastated," Jean said.
Scott hesitantly reached out to take Jean's hand in his own. He moved slowly, giving Jean a chance to pull away if she wanted to, but she seemed to welcome the gesture. "I'm not the man you fell in love with, Jean. I've lost the last ten years of my life, and that's a lot of experience to lose… Could you find it in yourself to love the incomplete man that I am, for the sake of the man I once was?"
"Scott, I loved you long before 1989… And I will always love you. Even if you never regain the memories you lost, I will still love you. Your heart is still the same. Nothing will ever change that. If we have to make new memories again, then that's what we'll have to do," Jean said.
"I love you too, Jean… I can't remember a time when I didn't," Scott said. And with that, he threw caution to the wind and took Jean in his arms and kissed her passionately. Jean kissed him back with equal fervor, putting her arms around his neck. The feeling was intoxicating to Scott. He'd never felt anything so intense before. The heat between them was scorching hot. Scott deepened their kiss even more, but Jean suddenly put her hands on his chest and pushed him away.
"Jean? Are you okay? Was I too rough?" Scott asked, worried he got too caught up in the moment.
"No… It's not that… It's just… You still smell like that woman's perfume," Jean said, sitting back up on the bed.
Well that put a damper on his ardour. It was like getting splashed by a cold bucket of water. "I'm so sorry, Jean! I didn't even realize… I'm such an idiot!"
"I'm not angry, Scott. You had no idea about us… And any other man I know would have gone through with it, so you do get points for that," Jean said. "But… I really need you to shower first."
"Of course… I… Umm… Jean? Can I go home with you tonight?" Scott asked.
"Tonight, and every night from now on. Come on, let's get out of here," Jean said, taking Scott's hand and leading him towards the door.
Jean looked down at their entwined hands and noticed writing on the back of Scott's left hand. "Honey, is that a phone number?"
"Oh, umm… yeah…" Scott said, his cheeks turning a shade of red. "The woman I met at the bar left me her number. She asked me out on a date…"
Jean raised an eyebrow at Scott. "I think it goes without saying, Scott, that I don't let my husband date…"
"Yes, ma'am," Scott said, grinning.
To be continued…