2. Irish Coffee

Gwen walked quietly through the archives, two mugs held firmly in her hand as she gazed around the dark aisles. "Ianto?" she called quietly. "Are you down here?"

"Over in row c," he replied from somewhere to her right. She moved toward the sound of his voice and turned to find him sitting on the floor in a narrow aisle, surrounded by boxes and files. He was taking notes, frowning as he tapped a pen against the clipboard he was holding.

"What's all this then?" she asked, and he glanced up, setting aside his clipboard and reaching for a large file that he began to look through.

"Research," he said without glancing up.

"Another new project?" she asked with a small smile, and he shook his head.

"Not exactly, no. It's everything Torchwood has on Cell 114." He motioned at the folders and boxes surrounding him. "Or rather, everything I could find that might be connected. Torchwood encountered them once before, back in the nineties, and Jack said there's at least one other report he filed. Other than that, I'm trying to find anything else that might be related or useful for next time they appear." He returned to the papers in his hands, shuffling through them, searching for more answers.

"Oh." Gwen shifted on her feet. "I didn't mean to interrupt, but I brought some coffee if you were interested."

Glancing up in surprise, he smiled slowly. "Of course. Did I miss a scheduled dose upstairs?" he asked.

She handed him a mug. "Not at all. Tosh and Owen actually just left, and Jack is…" She trailed off, not sure what Jack was doing.

"Jack is off being Jack?" Ianto offered, taking the mug with a nod of thanks.

"Probably up on a roof somewhere," Gwen replied. When she continued standing awkwardly in the aisle, he moved a box aside and motioned at her to sit down.

"Pull up a seat," he said. "And then you can tell me what's on your mind."

She was surprised at his insight, though she shouldn't have been. Besides the fact that he was more perceptive than they often gave him credit for, she didn't often come down to the archives, let alone make him coffee; both were typically his domain.

Sitting down in the empty space, she pulled her knees up to her chest and held her mug in close, trying to stay warm on the cold floor. She thought about what to say, unsure where to begin, but Ianto beat her to it.

"I'm sorry about Beth," he said, taking a sip from his mug. He paused, a thoughtful look on his face as he swallowed. She grinned sheepishly.

"It's decaf," she said.

"It's instant decaf," he said.

"That's why I added some whiskey," she told him. "I should have known you'd figure it out."

"Indeed," he murmured. "Nice kick, though. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said. "I nicked it from Jack's office." She took a sip of her own drink, swallowed a frown at the bitter taste, and continued. "And about Beth…why are you apologizing?"

He studied her for a moment. "Besides the fact that we could have taken off your head," - she tried not to laugh nervously at that - "I know you didn't want to see her dead."

"We could have saved her," said Gwen, shaking her head. This was why she had come downstairs. Owen was rubbish at talking about these things, Tosh too pragmatic. And Jack would tell her it was Beth's choice and that they had done what they had to do. But Ianto…he would know what to say, wouldn't he?

"We did save her," Ianto replied softly, watching her closely. Gwen felt a flash of anger; he was supposed to understand, to sympathize, not talk in riddles.

"You shot her!" she exclaimed. "She's not lying in the morgue waiting to be revived from cryofreeze. She's dead. How is that saving her?"

Ianto took another sip of his coffee, clearly trying not to grimace, then set it down and turned toward her. "We saved her sense of humanity," he said. "We let her die with dignity."

"She didn't have to die," Gwen said. "We could have frozen her, figured out a way around the implants later, sometime in the future."

He shook his head. "She would have always been a danger, Gwen. Even frozen deep underground. There was nothing stopping another cell from activating her, not really, considering how little we know about their technology. And then she'd be right here, in the middle of the Hub, armed and dangerous."

"You don't believe that," she said. "You can't possibly believe she was still a threat. She did everything she could to help us!"

"Including sacrifice herself at the end so we'd be safe," Ianto pointed out. "Gwen, she was alien. She wasn't human. You're always so fixated on what makes us human, why can't you see that?"

"Because she was human!" Gwen insisted. "She had a life, a home, a husband she loved. After what she did to help us, how could you think otherwise?"

"Because she was still an alien masquerading as human," Ianto replied. "She was programmed to look and think and feel like a human, but that programming was controlled by alien technology, all for the sole purpose of destroying our planet."

"But she didn't," Gwen murmured mulishly. "She didn't destroy the planet, she tried to save it."

"Yes, she did," Ianto admitted. "That doesn't change what she was inside, though—her programming. There was nothing we could to fix that. She was programmed to infiltrate and conquer." He let his head fall back against the nearest shelf, laughing through his nose as he stared up at the ceiling. "I have some experience with that, you know."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Have you heard of Cell 114 before? At Torchwood One?"

"Never heard of them," he replied softly, still looking away. "But I did experience an invasion of aliens hell bent on converting or exterminating every living being on Earth."

She sucked in a breath, mentally kicking herself for not thinking of Ianto's past and how Beth's case might have affected him. "Ianto, I'm sorry, I—"

"You didn't see it, I know," he said. "The connection. But it's obvious now, isn't it? Cell 114 is rather like a more sophisticated version of the Cybermen. They don't need the metal plates and body armor. They look and appear normal—aliens in a human body, while the Cybermen were humans in a metal body. Yet both were wrong, not really human, created and programmed for one purpose only: total annihilation."

"Even Lisa?" she asked softly, dreading the response. His head slipped to the side to regard her sadly.

"Yes, even Lisa. I didn't see it at the time, but it didn't take long for me to understand that you saved her when you killed her. She was gone by then, taken over by the programming, and there was nothing we could have done to change that, just like Beth. She did terrible things, like Beth would have, when the programming took over. So Lisa died, and she didn't suffer anymore. Beth would have suffered, Gwen. One day."

She scooted closer to him and reached out to take the hand resting on his knee.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly, letting her head rest against his. "I didn't mean to bring up such painful memories."

"Of course you didn't," said Ianto. "But you have to understand that we can't save everyone, not in the traditional sense, not how you want to save them. Sometimes offering them an end to their pain and suffering is all we can do."

Gwen was silent as she thought about it. "I have a hard time with that," she said. "And I think I always will. I want to save everyone. That's our job."

"Our job is to save as many people as we can," Ianto said. "And by stopping Beth now, we've saved a lot of people in the future."

Gwen flinched from the truth, and he put an arm around her, pulling her close. "It sucks," he whispered. "Believe me, I know better than anyone it's a nightmare, living with the consequences of sacrifice."

"I don't know how you do it," she said.

"Keep calm and carry on," he replied with a ridiculous accent, and they chuckled. "In a way, though, it's true. Thought we may not always keep calm, but we carry on. We do what we have to do, take the risks to protect people." He smiled to himself, as if remembering something fondly.

"Fight the good fight," Gwen said.

"For the good of the many," Ianto added.

"For Queen and country!" They burst out laughing at that, which was how Jack found them, still laughing, which was certainly better than sobbing.

"Hey, why wasn't I invited to this party?" he asked, appearing at the end of the aisle, leaning against the shelves with his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face. "Especially if it involves tickling."

Gwen burst out laughing again at the affronted look on Ianto's face, though she noted with a warm feeling that he hadn't pulled away from her.

"There's no tickling here," he said. "Nothing to see. Move along."

Jack nodded slowly. "You two all right, then? Finding two employees hysterically in the archives is not usual, even around here."

"We're fine, Jack," said Gwen, sighing. Her moment with Ianto was over, and she realized she was disappointed. He'd surprised her with his insight and candor, but in the end, he had known exactly what to say. It was why she'd come down to talk to him, after all. Patting Ianto's knee, she stood and faced Jack. "Just gaining perspective."

"I could use some perspective," Jack said, sounding hopeful.

"Then you're in the right place," Gwen replied with a smile. Jack was watching Ianto, who was almost pointedly trying not to look at him as he began shuffling papers again. It occurred to her that Jack had probably come down to see Ianto, as she had, and that since she'd had her turn, it was time to go. "Thank you, Ianto," she said quietly, turning back to the Welshman. He scrambled to his feet and nodded.

"You're welcome. Thanks for the coffee."

"You barely touched it," she pointed out with a laugh. He shrugged, unapologetic.

"Take me out for a real drink sometime, then. It's a better way to wrap up a case."

"It's a date," she replied with a smile. She nodded and turned to leave, passing by Jack with another smile. "Good night," she told them both. "Don't stay late, Ianto. All that will still be here in the morning."

"I know," he said, returning to his boxes and files. "I'll leave soon."

She left them in the archives, thinking about what Ianto had said about Beth and Lisa, and how they couldn't save everyone, because sometimes saving someone meant losing them. She'd seen it time and time again at Torchwood, but it was still hard to accept, even though she knew Ianto was right. Someday, though, she would save everyone—no matter the sacrifice.

Author's Note:
Many thanks to several people who helped me narrow this one down, especially Fafsernir and my amazing beta Taamar. I had a lot of ideas for this one and sort of ended up combining several. I hope you enjoyed it. I seriously thought about continuing it with Jack and Ianto, as I'd love to explore Ianto's state of mind more, but that's it for now. Who knows, maybe it'll show up as a one-shot sometime. For now, I'm continuing with the next episode update in a few days. Thanks for reading!