I'd keep forgetting Simon was so strong.
The boy lifts you up like you weight nothing. Absolutely nothing - that shit is insane!
"Simon," I giggled against his lips. "I have to go — Simon—"
My back unceremoniously hit the mattress and I couldn't help but laugh. My nails raked against his bare chest and my body moved on it's own accord.
"No, no," Simon mumbled, pressing several kisses against my mouth. "Stay."
I peered up at Simon, stroking his cheek before rolling out from under him. I tossed Simon his shirt and he caught it. We dressed, before I felt Simon's arms wrap around my waist from behind and his lips press against my cheek.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I said quickly. "I'm…fine."
"Did Negan talk to you about—"
"He did," I turned, staring up at Simon. He furrowed his brows before smirking and nodding his head. He brushed a finger against my cheek before tucking a strand of hair behind my ears. I chuckled, ducking my head. "What are you looking at, lover boy?"
"You. I'm looking at you because you're beautiful."
"No, I'm—"
"You are," Simon gripped my forearms. He leaned down slowly, giving me another kiss, this one longer and sweeter than before.
"I have to go," I pulled away, glancing at the floor as Simon's fingers stroked my bare forearms.
Don't tell me you feel bad.
You should! You let Negan bust a nut all over your clothes!
My shoulders slouched as I entered the empty medical room, glancing around. Inventory was taken, the place was clean…
Shit.
You're thinking again.
You need those books.
I paced around the room, arms crossed over my chest. My brain was spinning, my head bobbing up and down as I slowly formed a plan in my mind.
Get in the truck. Ride to Hilltop. Talk to Harlan, and then hop back in.
You can do that, can't you?
I ran fingers through my hair, grunting and pulling up a chair. Almost immediately, my gaze shifted and I peered out the window. I could see the small caravan of trucks, sitting, destined for Hilltop. My fingers began to shake until I mustered up the courage to stand and head out the door. I trotted down the steps, trying to keep a low profile as I headed for the Sanctuary's courtyard. I tiptoed to the closest truck, which had already been filled to the brim with boxes of supplies. I hefted myself up, scooting out of the way as several saviors walked by, none of them noticing my slender frame tucked in the corner of the truck. I crawled behind several boxes, making sure to keep my head down.
Just…wait. They should be leaving soon. They always leave soon.
My head slumped against my knees. It took almost a hour for me to doze off, my body curled in on itself. The jolt of the truck roused me from my sleep, and I nearly leaped up in alarm before I realized where exactly I was.
I could hear voices from the front of the truck, filtering through the cracks. Familiar voices.
Negan and Simon.
Negan? Negan never goes to Hilltop…
I craned my neck, wincing as my muscles protested. I got on my knees, glancing around the dark truck.
"…Can you believe Rick the fucking Prick? I mean, I know the dude has a stick up his ass, but really? I really didn't want to have to fucking bash Lucille against someone's skull today, but, you know…"
"Yeah," Simon's muffled voice reached my ears.
"Why are you fucking bouncing in your seat like that? You eager to get back already? To see your fucking woman?"
"Maybe," Simon said gruffly. "You know how that stuff is…"
"Yeah, I fucking know. You like her a whole fucking lot, don't you?"
"Is that weird? It's sounds like you think that's weird," Simon replied.
Negan's laugh was deep and almost…seductive. "It's not fucking weird. It's just…funny. Funny to see you so love struck, Simon, especially after I beat my dick and came all over your girls stomach."
My breath caught in my throat, and I curled back into my self. Simon didn't reply for a long while, and I could hear someone - either him or Negan - tapping their foot against the truck floor.
"We talked about this," Simon finally said. "And you remember what I said."
"That we should fucking talk to her?"
"Yeah. That's just how I would go about it. I know a thing or two about the ladies, Negan."
"Oh, I know. Man, I'm fucking jealous. I mean, that doctor threw herself at you."
"Rachel, yeah," Simon chuckled. "I don't know what she see's in me…"
"I don't know what she fucking sees in either of us," Negan's laugh was sad and laced with self-loathing. "We're two pathetic fucking losers."
That makes three of us.
Simon and Negan's playful banter turned crude after a while - how many times daily does Negan mention his dick? Or a dick of some kind? I almost dozed off again, but the truck pulled to a quick stop. So quick that I nearly fell forward.
There's no way…
I squinted, before creeping forward and poking my head from between the dark flaps covering the back of the truck.
This wasn't Hilltop.
Oh…you have fucked up indeed. Nice one!
This was Alexandria. I recognized the walls and I recognized Rick Grimes, standing tall and proud next to some lady with a haircut that reminded me of He-Man or that coconut dude from Ned's Declassified. I hopped from the truck, staying down and creeping behind the line of saviors.
I was stuck. If I made myself known, I'd get a scolding. Or maybe Negan would kill me, who knew. I didn't trust myself to make a beeline for Hilltop. All scenarios in which I made it out of this shit-show unscathed were pretty much nonexistent.
I could see the back of Simon's head. Simon and Arat both. Negan's words were just a portion of what was going on in my brain.
The sound of gunfire and Negan's shout of surprise snapped me out of my trance.
That went from 0 to 100 real quick!
Bullets bounced off the truck and I yelped, turning away, my back to the carnage. When I glanced over my shoulder I saw Savior after Savior fall and Rick being held at gunpoint by the chick with the bad haircut.
Shit.
Don't get involved.
Don't.
I couldn't bring myself to pick up a gun and join the fight. The thought of possibly hitting someone - Rick, or his kid…I cringed at the thought. Hell, for all I knew, Maggie was inside those walls as well.
I'd gotten my ass captured to protect her in the first place!
I took another glance and saw Negan and Simon advancing inside the walls. I crouched down, teeth chattering, fingers twitching.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Looking around, I threw myself at a fallen Savior, pulling the machete from his dead, clenched hand. I followed in Simon's general direction, ducking down. The air was filled with smoke and the caustic smell of death and gunpowder.
Oh, shit. Ugh!
An undead hand reached for me. I cut through it's head, kicking it away and spinning wildly. I'd lost them. Negan and Simon. Amongst the chaos they'd disappeared.
My initial thought was the calm the situation. Try and chill everyone out before more people died. Looking around at the bodies and hearing the sheer amount of gunfire promptly changed my mind.
They were too far gone. There was no such thing as peace - not anymore
Damage control, then. Yeah. You're good at that.
I saw the back of Negan's head, first, followed by the crouched, injured figure of Rick Grimes along with his son. My get the fuck out of dodge senses were tingling, but I made my way over.
You can't run from this.
Negan doesn't look happy. He looks, uh pissed.
"Hey," I called. Negan's head shot up. A dozen pairs of eyes fell on me as I approached, bloody machete in hand. Simon's expression went from startled to confused to angry.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
Negan and Simon both shouted with equal intensity. I stepped forward, painfully aware that the lady with the bad dye job was staring at me, lips curled into a smile that reminded me very much of a cockroach. She was standing way to close to Negan for my liking.
Not that I was jealous. Crazy bitch smelled like ass - the odor invaded my nostrils from two meters away.
"I just wanted to say," I said slowly, "I know ya'll got some Call of Duty shit going on here, and, uh, I appreciate that. Ya'll are doing excellent. Just letting you know that I'm here. Ready to take orders. Sir."
Silence. Rick was panting and his son had his single eye clenched shut, his hat lying abandoned next to him.
I assumed that the creature I saw in my peripheral was a dog. A very, large dog. But it wasn't. Dog's didn't make that type of sound, and there sure as fuck weren't any orange dogs in the world that I knew of.
That's not a dog. That's not a dog. THAT'S NOT A DOG!
Over two hundred pounds of tiger landed on me, the impact like a freight train. I loved animals, I really did, and for a split second I wished I could appreciate the luscious, furry coat and beautiful ombre eyes of this tiger.
But I couldn't. Because it's teeth were way to close to my face. I didn't feel its teeth sink into me, but I did hear and see the gunfire and the blood.
So much fucking blood. The screams that came from me weren't human. I managed cover my face with my hands and roll away as heavy gunfire distracted the tiger. It leaped away, and I heard the shriek of its next unfortunate victim.
"Ah, shit."
I was numb and in shock. I felt my mangled shoulder, rubbing the coppery blood between my fingers before glancing down at my stomach and thigh. The tigers claws had left tattered flesh and ripped fabric in its wake.
"Oh, shit, oh, shit," I craned my neck. A shadow fell over me, and I closed my eyes, expecting it to be one of Rick's men coming to put me out of my misery.
It was Simon.
"Hang on," his hands hovered over my body, before he shook his head and scooped me up into his arms. I could barely lift my head as he darted across the grass, ducking through the carnage and the gunfire and that goddamn tiger.
I fucks with that. I want a tiger.
"Get her in the back," Arat cried. Bullets his the car before us, and I saw Arat hurry past, gun in hand, followed by a cursing Negan.
Man. Dying sucks.
That's what you're doing. Dying.
My back hit the truck, and I heard the black flaps move as Simon climbed in, shouting, "Arat, get in the front with Negan!"
"So fucking long, you fucking prick asshole fuckers!"
"Negan, c'mon!" Arat called. She yelped, crying out in pain.
"Shit!"
The truck lurched forward. Lights streamed through the flaps, which were tattered and torn from bullets. I could see Simon's face illuminated in the light as he stared down at me, unsure of what to do.
"Oh, God," Simon whimpered. "What the hell were you even thinking—"
"I don't think, homeboy, I act," I gasped, coughing, my mouth flooding with crimson. I saw Simon rummaging through the boxes for supplies, the sound of gunfire slowly fading away. I tried to smile as Simon turned his attention back to me.
The adrenaline was beginning to disappear. I could feel my wounds, now. The pain was shocking. The look on Simon's face wasn't comforting as he stemmed the flow of blood.
"Am I gonna die?" I whispered. "I don't wanna die, man. Fuck."
"You aren't going to die."
"How was I supposed to know homie would come in clutch with a goddamn tiger?" I coughed again, gasping at the sting. "I take it back…this ain't Call of Duty, this is some Skyrim shit."
"You need to stop talking," Simon said.
"I'm sorry. When I get nervous I talk," I met Simon's gaze. He was staring at me with immense, sadness, as if he knew something that I didn't. I steeled myself as blood gurgled from my mouth. "I'm not a doctor."
"What?" Simon said bluntly.
"Fuck, man. I lied. I lied about, being a doctor," my chest heaved as Simon pressed harder against my wounds. "I… snuck into the truck cause I thought ya'll were going to Hilltop. I was going to meet Harlan and grab some medical books to study. I'm not a doctor - I lied to protect Maggie. She needs a real doctor like Harlan to..deliver the baby."
"Maggie - that widow girl?"
"Yeah," I said. "She's been alive this whole time, man. Hiding. Ya'll walked right by her like fucking eight times. Dumbass."
Simon was laughing. He still kept a hold on me, making sure I didn't bleed to death. But he was laughing.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I could already feel myself fading away, slowly. His face was the last thing I'd see.
And I was okay with that.