Chapter 3: Welcome to the Family
It wasn't long before Leena was part of the family. And soon much more than a friend to Sabine. Sabine wasn't necessarily good with relationships. She wasn't an open person, she wasn't used to letting people in and nurturing a relationship with them. It'd taken her so long to heal after Hera's death, and she wasn't ready to let anyone else into her heart to potentially break it. Kanan saw it, and could tell that's how she felt, and insisted she go for a deeper relationship with Leena anyway.
Ezra teased Sabine the entire time, saying that she only argued with Leena because she like liked her, which led to Sabine giving Ezra a bloody nose that he definitely deserved. Sabine didn't like like anyone, certainly not someone who was trying to give her orders.
Kanan thought it all pretty hilarious, as he could tell that there was a connection between the two girls, and he wished that Hera was there to see Sabine falling for someone, since they never thought it was something that would happen. Sabine was pretty firm in that belief too, and even as she and Leena started to clearly harbor feelings for each other, she refused to act on any of it, even when Leena approached her about it first. So Kanan stepped in to try and get through to a very stubborn Sabine.
"You deserve to be happy, Bean." Kanan told her, slouched in his seat in the cockpit. Sabine was playing with his hair, braiding it, and twisting it around in her fingers. "Stop being a soldier for two seconds and let yourself be happy."
"I'm perfectly happy," Sabine insisted, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Kanan smirked. "Yes, you do. I might be blind, but I'm not stupid. You're shutting yourself off from exploring a relationship with Leena because you're scared."
Sabine tugged on Kanan's hair, and he grunted at her.
"No, I'm not."
"Bean…"
"Kanan…" she mocked his tone.
"Fine. Keep being stubborn. Reminds me of someone."
Sabine smiled a little, undoing the braids in Kanan's rather long hair and starting new ones.
"Oh yeah?" she asked, "How so?"
Kanan smiled. "When I first met Hera, she was so serious. Only the cause. Only the rebellion. Only the Ghost. No room for anything else."
Sabine bit her lip, continuing to braid his hair.
"And, like you, she ignored her feelings. Especially when it came to a certain dashing Jedi."
Sabine snorted. "Dashing? Really?"
"Hey," Kanan smirked. "I was very dashing, once upon a time."
"Yeah, maybe like two decades ago," Sabine teased. "Now look at you." her voice dropped to a mocking whisper. "So frail."
Kanan lifted a hand and pushed her back, and she dropped her feet from her perch on the edge of her old seat in the cockpit to catch herself, laughing a little at him.
"Anyway," Kanan said, "It took Hera a long time before she could even admit that she had feelings for me."
"Oh really?" Sabine didn't want to think too hard about Hera, even a few years after her death, she still felt a deep ache whenever she was forced to remember her. "And when she did?"
"She finally admitted that she had feelings for me, and we both lived happily ever after." Kanan teased.
Sabine laughed a little before she felt that ache again. "But you didn't," Sabine said softly. "You didn't live happily ever after. What if theoretically, I do open up, and I let myself like Leena, and we start a relationship and something happens to her, like how something happened to Hera? I can't lose someone like that, Kanan." Sabine's voice dropped to a cautious whisper. "I can't do it again."
Sabine tied Kanan's hair off into a bun with the band around her wrist and sat back in her seat, Kanan turning in his chair to face her.
"Sabine…"
"I just don't think it's worth the risk. I'm perfectly happy, I'm happy with you, and Ezra, and Leena being part of our crew. I don't need more than that."
"But you want it." Kanan said gently, putting one foot lightly on Sabine's chair.
Sabine glanced at Kanan's worn boot on the seat next to her and shrugged.
"I don't know what I want," she admitted. "I don't want to get hurt."
Kanan sighed, nodded. "I don't want you to get hurt either." he agreed. "But if you spend the rest of your days guarding your heart, you'll never be able to live your life to the fullest. And that's all I want for you, to live your life to it's fullest."
Sabine smiled a little bit, putting her hand on Kanan's leg. "Thanks."
"You don't need to start a relationship with Leena if you don't want to," Kanan encouraged, "But I just want to make sure that you aren't holding yourself back out of fear."
Sabine looked Kanan over and sighed. She was afraid. She was terrified. She saw what Kanan had went through after Hera died. He still wasn't okay. He never would be the same without her. And Sabine was so worried that if she did let her guard down and did let Leena in that something horrible would happen, because something horrible always happened. And losing someone she loved again wasn't something Sabine thought she could recover from. She hated seeing Kanan struggle to recover, knowing he never would.
"Okay," she said softly. "Thanks, Kanan."
Kanan smiled a little at her, and leaned back in his seat. "So what exactly did you do to my hair?" he asked, feeling the intricate braid that swirled into a bun.
"Nothing too fancy, don't worry." she said with a smirk. "It looks nice."
Kanan's face twisted into a smile. "I feel like you're lying to me, but I'm going to trust you on this one. If anyone makes fun of me, i'm blaming you."
Sabine snorted. "Fine, fine. I'll take full responsibility."
Almost as soon as Kanan went downstairs later that afternoon, Ezra complemented Kanan on his hair, to which Sabine shouted from the cockpit, "THANK YOU!"
Sabine eventually took Kanan's advice. Cautiously, she started exploring a relationship with Leena, the beautiful Twi-Lek woman she was slowly falling for. Several years and several adventures later, Sabine learned that Kanan's words about living life to it's fullest were right. She admitted she had feelings for her friend, and Leena, with great relief, admitted that she returned them. The rest was history. And Kanan's stubborn young Mandalorian was all grown up and surprisingly, settling down.
It brought Kanan a lot of joy that Sabine was so happy. It was all he wanted from her since the day he and Hera picked her up when she was just a hurt little kid, for her to be happy. And she was.
"Listen, Leena, we love you. We really do. This isn't an interrogation." Ezra explained, sitting next to Leena on the bench, putting an arm around her shoulders.
"It feels like an interrogation," Leena said, smirking at Ezra, flicking his arm off of her.
"Ezra…" Kanan sighed, his fingers over the bridge of his nose. Ezra made a face at Kanan, rolling his eyes a little.
"Look," Ezra continued, putting a hand back on Leena's shoulder, which she shrugged off, "We know that you and Sabine are…." he looked to Zeb for help, and Zeb shook his head a little in amusement. "Doing…."
Kanan sighed in exasperation and Leena tried really hard not to burst into laughter.
"Not doing. Dating? K-kissing..?" Ezra sighed, and Zeb laughed at him. "You're no help," Ezra told him, and Zeb shrugged.
"You're on your own kid. It's fun watching you struggle, right Leena?" Zeb teased, and Leena covered her mouth with her hand to hide her amused smirk.
"We know you and Sabine are a thing," Ezra insisted, "And this was Kanan's idea, so don't tell me I'm interrogating you."
Leena looked to Kanan, who had a little smile on his lips.
"You're kind of the one leading the interrogation," Leena said to Ezra, and he pouted a little.
"Kanan, you talk to her." Ezra huffed, and Leena smirked, looking to Kanan.
Kanan smiled. "I promise we aren't interrogating you," Kanan insisted, "You're family. And whatever is going on between you and Sabine, we support and love both of you."
"And it must be something good," Ezra said with a grin, "I haven't seen Sabine so happy in….ever, really."
Leena couldn't hide her smile anymore. "Yeah, well, I haven't been so happy in ever either."
Zeb leaned back in his seat and smiled at her. "We're happy for you," he promised, "But we're also giving you fair warning that if you hurt Sabine, we'll have to hurt you."
Leena laughed out loud, and Zeb laughed a little too before his expression dropped to seriousness.
"We aren't kidding."
Leena laughed but nodded, holding her hands up in mock surrender. "I didn't think you were!" she promised, "I think it's sweet."
"That protection goes for you too," Kanan added, "Sabine can be...hardheaded,"
"Very hardheaded," Ezra added.
"So if she gives you any trouble, we just want you to know that we're all here for you. We want you both to be happy."
Leena felt her heart warm with the love of the boys and smiled. "Thank you," she said honestly. "For everything. You have all been so kind to me, since day one. I've never had that."
"We're your family," Ezra told her.
"Families take care of each other." Zeb added.
"Well, I'm glad to be part of your family," Leena said seriously. "You all are so nice."
Ezra smirked. "I mean, I am, and they are too for the most part," Ezra said, gesturing to Kanan and Zeb. "It's Sabine who can be an asshole."
Leena's grin was contagious. "Yeah, but she's my asshole."
Ezra laughed. "That's the spirit."
"Okay. Sabine, Leena, the mission's yours. It's an easy scoop job. We need the fuel, and this platform has minimal security now that the Empire is focusing all it's energy on defeating the Rebellion." Kanan explained, and Sabine snorted.
"Kanan...we're kind of Rebels." Sabine pointed out, and Kanan sighed.
"Okay, but are we part of the Rebellion? No. Smartass." he shook his head at her.
Leena snickered and elbowed Sabine, who smirked.
"Can you do it or not?" Kanan asked flatly, and Sabine rolled her eyes.
"Of course we can." She winked at Leena, who smiled.
"When do we leave?" Leena asked, and Kanan gestured with his head toward the docking for the Phantom.
"Whenever you're ready. We need fuel."
Ezra craned his neck from down the hall. "You're going without me?" he whined, and Kanan shook his head.
"You need to finish making repairs to this ship, that you broke." Kanan insisted, and Ezra groaned.
"Fine," he muttered. "Let the lovebirds have all the fun."
Sabine leaned against Leena's shoulder and grinned at her partner. "Aww, hear that? He thinks this will be fun."
"Innocent child." Leena said with a shake of her head. "Watch this mission go to hell."
"Of course it will," Sabine said with a shrug. "When is anything ever easy for us?"
Sabine was really wishing that things would be easy for once when things did, as expected, go to hell on their supposedly simple mission.
"Leena, if you don't answer this because you're dead, I'm going to kill you." Sabine snapped into her comm, feeling her stomach churn when she was met with static on the other end.
"Dammit." Sabine whispered, feeling panic rise in her chest. She tried to assure herself that Leena was fine, and that their comms were jammed, but that didn't mean anything was going wrong.
Sabine activated her jetpack, her blasters drawn as she flew across the chasm to the small landing pad of the supposedly abandoned imperial fueling platform. The Ghost needed fuel, and Kanan got word through one of their contacts about an abandoned fueling station. But, as Sabine probably should've guessed, it was not so abandoned. There were still Imperial probes nearby, and it wasn't long before the Empire sent a small deployment of fighters to end the Rebel disturbance on the station.
Sabine felt her heart racing as she continued to try and raise Leena on the comm, still met with static. Sabine ignored the panic mounting in the pit of her stomach but forced herself to ignore it as she snuck around the landing pad, avoiding the gaze of the probe droids that were patrolling the platform. She quietly dashed past them, igniting her jetpack and sailing up to the fuel tanks on the top deck, shooting her blasters toward the probes, sending them both crashing down to the platform in smoking remains.
She pursed her lips as she started to run down the catwalk above the platform connecting it to the main station.
"Come on, Leena…" Sabine muttered into her comm in her helmet, shooting her blaster behind her at the stormtroopers that were now chasing her down the catwalk.
"Hey! Stop!" the troopers shouted at her, and Sabine had zero intention of stopping. She cringed as her way off the catwalk was cut off by more stormtroopers, pointing her twin blasters in both directions.
"This should be easy," The captain of the stormtrooper squadron said with a smirk. "Fire!"
Sabine fired first, immediately downing two troopers, igniting the Mandalorian wrist shield to block bolts aimed at her chest.
"Karabast!" she cursed as a stray blaster bolt struck her back armor, busting one of the thrusters of her jetpack. "My jetpack!"
The stormtroopers closed in, and Sabine glanced down, eyeing her options to escape. She was about to jump from the catwalk when the troopers on the platform started to be shot down one by one. Sabine smiled under her helmet as Leena stood behind them, finishing off the troopers and joining Sabine as she ran toward her and they escaped down the corridor of the station, closing the blast doors behind them.
"You okay?" Leena asked as they both ran down the hall to the other entrance, the one where they'd parked the Phantom.
"I'm fine," Sabine said as they ran. "You didn't answer your comm." she said, mock accusingly.
Leena held up the smoking end of her commlink and gave Sabine a little smirk.
"Sorry babe."
Sabine smirked a little under her helmet.
"As long as you're okay, I don't care about your commlink. I can fix it."
Leena grinned as they slowed their run and opened the doors to the back platform of the station. There were no troopers, which was the best part, and Leena pointed with her blaster to the fuel canisters she'd already secured onto the back of the Phantom.
Sabine sighed lovingly. "I love you," she said and Leena shoved her shoulder lightly.
"Come on, let's go home."
Sabine started the Phantom up and plotted their jump to meet back up with the Ghost, Leena sitting in the turret gun in case the Imperial shuttle above the small moon that housed the fueling station tried to give them any problems. They managed to get away without any real struggle, which was a great relief.
Sabine tossed her helmet onto the seat behind her in the cockpit, leaning back in the seat, smiling as Leena pulled off her combat gloves and tactical belt, tossing them next to Sabine's helmet. She leaned over and pressed a little kiss to Sabine's temple and sat down next to her in the co-pilot's seat.
"Success!" Leena said and Sabine grinned. "And only minor confrontation!"
"The best type of confrontation!" Sabine laughed.
Leena kicked her boots onto the edge of the dash, earning her a mock-glare from Sabine, listening as Sabine called Kanan to tell him they were successful and on their way back to rendezvous. Leena smiled at Kanan's sarcastic quips back and forth with Sabine, laughing out loud when Ezra popped in to demand that Sabine and Leena return as soon as possible because he was tired of being trapped alone with Zeb and Kanan in the Ghost for so long.
Sabine reached over to Leena's seat and took her hand lovingly, smiling as they jumped to hyperspace.
"That was fun," Leena remarked, and Sabine smirked.
"You know what? It kinda was." she squeezed Leena's hand. "We make a good team."
Leena leaned over and kissed Sabine's cheek, Sabine quickly turning her face to meet Leena's lips, surprising her. Leena smiled through the kiss, her purple skin darkening with a blush that ran up her neck.
"Yeah," Leena said with a grin, "We do."
Chapter 3.5: Honeymoon
When Sabine and Leena got married, it was pretty spontaneously. They weren't exactly planning on it when they landed on Abellon in the Outer Rim, but their entire lives were built around unexpected things. When a crude shop-keeper refused to serve Leena and Sabine for being a couple, they decided to make a point. They got married that day in the galactic courthouse on Abellon, where they legally became partners for life. When they got back to the Ghost, Kanan, Ezra and Zeb were shocked by their news but thrilled for them anyway.
Ezra insisted that they celebrate, since Sabine and Leena didn't invite them to the ceremony (which Leena promised wasn't personal, and wasn't so much a ceremony as it was a five minute decision made in a judge's office in a rural village) and once they finished making repairs on the Phantom, they jumped to a tourist-run beach planet for a week of much needed vacation.
"Have you never been on a vacation before?" Sabine asked, and Leena shrugged.
"Have you?" she asked.
Sabine paused a moment, looking around at her family. "Have any of us?"
"Not in a very, very long time," Kanan admitted. "Way longer than I'd like."
Ezra shrugged. "I don't think vacations are possible," he said, "I'd like to see us go a week without interfering in any sort of danger, no stormtroopers, no imperials, no pirates or injustice and just...I don't know, sleeping? Relaxing?"
Zeb laughed. "Any day I get to sleep in is a vacation for me."
"You know what?" Sabine grinned, "Challenge accepted Ezra. Let's go a week without doing anything. No Imperials, no danger, just us, the beach, and a lot of sleep."
Kanan smirked. "Yeah, we'll see just how long that lasts."
"Come onnnn," Leena teased, elbowing Kanan in the ribs. "It'll be fun!"
"Will it?" Kanan asked skeptically, and Ezra laughed, putting a hand on Kanan's shoulder.
"Life's what you make it, old man!" He said with a smirk, "Come on, let's have a vacation!"
Kanan reluctantly smiled. "Alright, let's attempt a vacation."
"There we go!" Sabine laughed, plotting their descent to the beach resort planet.
When they checked into the resort, Sabine was pleasantly surprised by how relaxed she already felt. Other than Ezra bugging her about getting his own room, and Zeb insisting that he didn't want to do any tacky tourist things, Sabine already felt pretty calm. The resort was safe guarded by huge shields so the weather would stay perfect and the guests would be left to relax in peace. No threat of the Empire, no threat of the Rebellion, no threat of anything in between. Just sun, sand, ocean and family. The Ghost remained in a locked and guarded hangar bay, and for the first time in maybe all of their lives, the crew left their weapons on the ship.
Most of their weapons. Sabine insisted that no Mandalorian would ever be caught without some sort of weapon, but she promised she wouldn't use any of them.
Relaxation was weird, because no one on the Ghost had ever done it before. It felt wrong to be off guard and not actively searching out danger and tyranny, and it felt even stranger to be in a place where there really wasn't any danger or tyranny happening. The employees at the resort were genuinely happy to be there, the company itself had no political affiliation (and Ezra checked), and all the guests were just like the crew were, just wanting to blend in and relax.
So they did. They blended in. They relaxed as much as physically possible. They forgot for a while all the hurt and pain they endured on a daily basis, they forgot about their low fuel tanks and low credit stash, and forgot for a while that they were considered terrorists on a bunch of systems. They were just people for once. Just a regular family. On vacation.
Sometime over the course of the week-long vacation, Sabine realized just how much she liked being a regular family. She'd been raised in a family of warriors, and then her found-family were freedom fighters. She'd been fighting since the day she was old enough to hold a blaster, and even though it felt strange, it was really really nice to not need to fight. They had fun together, Sabine and Leena buried Ezra in the sand, Zeb taught Ezra how to surf (which was rather amusing to watch both of them attempt to do), and Kanan got to tan and relax. Sabine considered what her life would be like if they were like this all the time. If they didn't have missions lined up when the trip was over. If they could just stay somewhere, instead of fleeing systems whenever the Empire showed up. If they slowed down, stayed put, and actually put down roots. Would they be happy?
"Look," Leena laughed as she pointed at Ezra, running down the beach, chased by a group of little kids. "He's a natural with kids."
Sabine laughed too. "I can verify that almost all interactions Ezra has had with children end like that." she said with a nod.
"It's kinda cute though," Leena admitted. "He's been playing with them for hours."
Sabine smirked. "He's got the gift to connect with smaller beings, or something."
"Do you?" Leena asked, her hand intertwined with Sabine's as they walked down the beach, the sun starting to set on the horizon.
"Do I what?"
"Have the gift to connect with smaller beings?" Leena asked, and Sabine snorted.
"I've never been around kids long enough to even attempt," Sabine said. "And honestly, I feel like I wouldn't be very good at it at all." she hesitated. "Why? Do you?"
Leena shrugged. "I love kids." she admitted. "I…." she shrugged. "I think kids are great."
Sabine slowed her walk a little and looked to her wife curiously. "Do you...want kids?" Sabine asked, and Leena stopped walking, looking Sabine over. She hesitated her answer.
"I already have a family." she said honestly. "It doesn't matter if I want kids or not, having them isn't very realistic in our line of work."
Sabine looked over Leena's shoulder at Ezra tripping in the sand and falling flat on his face, the group of kids promptly throwing more sand on top of him, and she smirked a little.
"I mean, it could be. If you wanted it to be." Sabine said, and Leena didn't even hide the surprise in her expression.
"No it can't, Sabine." Leena laughed a little. "We're smugglers, I'm a former extremist. We're all basically terrorists, according to the Empire. Bringing kids into that sounds like a terrible idea."
"What if we...I don't know... What if we slowed down, played it safer?"
Leena smiled, squeezing Sabine's hand in hers. "I love you," she said with a little smile. "And you are enough for me. I don't need a baby to be happy."
"If you want one, I don't want it to be me that's holding you back from it," Sabine said softer. "I want you to have everything you want."
Leena kissed Sabine's lips lightly. "I do have everything I want," she said seriously. "I have you. And our family. That's all I need, really."
"You're sure?" Sabine asked, wrapping an arm around Leena's waist.
"Of course." Leena said confidently, but when Sabine looked up and met her eyes, she felt a pang when she saw a sad longing flash in Leena's eyes for a second before it disappeared.
Sabine took Leena's hand again as they continued their walk down the beach, adding to the kids kicking sand onto Ezra, despite his protests and cries for help.
When they eventually went back to their resort, Sabine still thought over what Leena had said about having kids. She never really considered it, but she also never considered she'd find someone that she would marry. She didn't think she'd make a very good mom. Being maternal wasn't exactly in her nature, her own mother wasn't maternal, which was probably why she wasn't either. The only real nurturing mother figure she had in her life was Hera, and she'd been gone for a long time now.
Distantly, Sabine wondered that if things had been different, if Hera and Kanan would've had kids of their own. Hera was clearly a natural with children, and took care of everyone, even when they didn't want to be taken care of. She would've made a great mom. She was a great mom. If Hera were still alive, Sabine probably would have less hesitation at the thought of being a parent. Hera was the best example, and had all the answers when Sabine was lost or confused. So now, she turned to the closest thing to Hera she had, and that was Kanan.
Sabine crossed her arms a little as she sat down next to Kanan at the hotel bar, ordering herself a drink and leaning against Kanan's shoulder.
"What's on your mind, Bean?" Kanan asked, and Sabine shrugged.
"Too much, since we're supposed to be vacationing." Sabine admitted, taking a sip of the fruity drink in front of her, wincing at how sweet it was.
"Talk to me," Kanan offered, and Sabine smiled a little at him, always there for her when she needed him.
"Do you think I'd make a good mom?" Sabine asked, and Kanan almost choked on his drink with surprise.
"Where did that come from?" he laughed, and Sabine blushed a little.
"Nevermind, it's dumb."
Kanan shook his head, putting a hand on Sabine's shoulder. "No, it's not. I was just surprised." he smiled a little. "I think you'd make a great mom, Sabine."
"Really?" She snorted. "Don't patronize me."
"I mean it," Kanan said, "You have a big heart, and you'll protect the people you care about until your dying breath. I just didn't realize you even wanted kids."
"I don't," Sabine said, shaking her head a little. "Or, I didn't think I did. Leena and I were talking, and she sounded like she wanted to have kids, and-"
"Leena wants a kid?" Kanan shook his head in amusement. "Didn't see that one coming either."
"I know." Sabine shrugged. "It just got me thinking. She says that it's not realistic to have a baby with our lifestyles, and I guess she's right, but I don't want to stop her from having something she wants, you know?"
Kanan smiled, putting his hand on Sabine's arm.
"See?" he said, "You care about your loved ones deeply. I'd talk things through with Leena, if you two want to have a baby, now, later, way in the future, or never, we'll support you. All of us. And you know that we'd all put protecting a baby at the highest priority."
Sabine nodded. "Yeah, I know." She smiled a little. "Thanks Kanan."
"Whatever you decide, we're here for you." he promised. "Talk to Leena about it."
Sabine smiled. "I will." She thought a little bit, before looking to Kanan curiously.
"Did Hera ever want to have a baby?" she asked, and Kanan smiled a sad smile.
"No," he said simply, "At least, not that she told me. The Rebellion was her baby. And then you and Ezra became our babies. We didn't need more than that."
"Did you want a baby?" she asked, and Kanan laughed a little.
"I wouldn't have said no if we had one," he admitted after a second. "But, like Leena, I didn't think it was realistic. Hera and I never really discussed it. We had a mutual agreement that we were happy enough."
Sabine smiled a little at the thought of Kanan with a baby. He was already a great father to kids that weren't even his, she couldn't imagine how he'd be with a little kid.
"I'm happy enough too," Sabine agreed, "This is stupid. I don't know why I'm even this worried about it."
Kanan shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. "If it's bothering you, you should discuss it with your wife. That's what I did whenever I was worried about something."
Sabine smiled. "You're right," she pushed his shoulder lightly. "As usual. I'll talk with her about it." She clinked her glass against Kanan's. "Thanks, Kanan."
"You know I'm always here for you," he told her genuinely, "No matter what."
Sabine smirked. "What would I do without you?" she laughed, and Kanan shrugged.
"Let's not even imagine." He teased.