I Might As Well Give Up

Darcy locked up with Ashley in the middle of an FCW ring; Norman Smiley was standing in the corner watching the girls, ready to call them out if they did something wrong.

"Darcy, if you don't tuck your chin in more when you're taking a back bump you're going to get concussion or even do something worse," he sighed at her, watching the small woman roll over onto her stomach and slam her fists onto the mat. "How long have you been doing this?"

Darcy pushed herself to her feet and stood in front of Norman. "18 months."

"You've learnt how to take a back bump?"

"I thought I had, but clearly not," she groaned to herself. She tugged at the hair at the back of her neck. "I can take every other bump perfectly but the thought of dropping onto my back freaks me the fuck out."

Norman nodded in a form of silent understanding and gestured for her to try again. Ashley ran at the ropes, Darcy standing in the middle of the ring, and ran at her opponent. Her shoulder connected with Darcy's but instead of dropping directly onto her back like she was supposed to, Darcy landed on her ass.

"Now I'm over thinking it." She made no attempt to get to her feet; instead she slammed her back into the mat. Admittedly it wasn't as effective as taking them from her feet, but she was trying.

Norman and Ashley let her go for a few minutes before she sucked in a deep breath and stood up, only to drop to her back seconds later.

"Better," Norman told her from the corner. "You don't seem to have much of a problem when you're dropping yourself. It's just when you have to work with someone else."

"Which is the entire point of the business," she sighed. "Let's just keep going." She got in the position to lock up again but Norman's hand on her shoulder let her know that it was time for her break.

"What goes through your mind when you have to fall backwards?"

"That I'm going to hit the back of my head on the mat. I know that if I tuck in my chin that won't happen but I quite like my head the way it is," she grimaced as an image of the back of her head bleeding profusely entered her mind. "If I have to land on my side or front I'm fine."

"That's usually how it goes but back bumps are important so we're going to work it out."

She was sent away to get a drink and stretch out some more and as soon as she rolled out of the ring she saw Jon Moxley walking into the building. He nodded his head at her in greeting and she gave a half-hearted smile back. He changed his direction and lumbered over to her.

"Moxley."

"What's eating you?" he asked her, dropping his bag to the floor.

"What do you mean?" She shot back defensively, standing up a bit straighter. Moxley smirked at down at her.

"You got that look on your face."

"And what's that?" She barked at him.

"Angry," he answered casually. "You look like you fucked up and you don't know how to fix it."

Darcy looked up at him, her face softening slightly. "How'd you know that?"

"You aren't as hard to read as you'd think."

Darcy shook her head, surprised by how well he thought he knew her. She took a step back so she didn't have to crane her neck so much to look at him. She sighed, unable to believe she was telling him, "Back bumps."

"Back bumps?" he asked with a laugh only to stop the second he noticed Darcy's glare. "Why? They're one of the first things you learn."

"Why?" She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed slightly. "Because the idea of knocking myself out isn't something I like to think about." Her hand went to the back of her head again and she grimaced at the idea.

"Yeah, but why?" Moxley asked her and she pulled a face at him.

"I don't want to knock myself out," she repeated angrily, "Are you deaf or stupid?"

"Neither," he grated. "There's a reason you're scared of them, you wouldn't have made it here if you never learnt how to do a back bump. Something happened and now you're scared," he concluded, watching her face contort when she realised he was right. "Tell me so I can figure out how to help."

"You aren't the first person to try," she pulled her lip ring into her mouth.

Moxley, for the first time, took note of just how many piercings she had; the lip ring on the right side of her mouth, the nose ring on the left side of her nose and the eyebrow piercing in her left eyebrow. Because her hair was so short he could see the industrial piercing in her right ear and the tragus and helix piercings in her left, all to accompany the two sets of lobe piercings she also had in each ear.

He had to catch himself before he began wondering if she was hiding any underneath her clothes.

"Lay it on me," he said in a gruff voice. He mentally kicked himself for the effect the thought had had on him.

Darcy looked at him sceptically but upon seeing a previously unnoticed caring in his eyes, she began to talk. "I'd been there four, five months – at ROH. I was doing great; I had an understanding of everything and could take a basic bump," she added pointedly, not wanting him to think she had always been afraid. "A new kid – Owen – came in, he'd just turned 18. He left high school and decided he was going to be the best. Was convinced he was invincible." Moxley breathed out a laugh; he'd met many similar people. "He took every bump harder than he should, to prove he was tough enough and I guess to prove he could sell?" Darcy pulled a face in confusion, even a year later she still didn't know how to describe Owen. "I don't even know. One day he was doing drills with Link and – Link's a huge guy – Owen tells Link to give it his all. Shoulder block, just like Ashley's doing to me. Link runs at Owen, Owen decides he's going to throw himself backwards as hard as he can... Guess what he forgot to do?"

"Tuck his chin," Moxley supplied in a low voice, Darcy nodded gravely.

"Knocked himself out cold. It was brutal. The sight and the sound. I haven't been able to do it properly since. He was out for almost 10 minutes before he came to, but then he couldn't remember where he was. Grade three concussion and he did it to himself. Never wrestled again."

Darcy tugged her lip ring into her mouth again and held the back of her head as the sound resonated in her ears. She remembered it far better than she wanted to.

"Right, I see why you're nervous," Moxley said in understanding.

"Of all the things that have happened in my life, that's the one that fucks me up the most. Typical, right?" she sighed at herself, both for the effect it had had on her and for telling Moxley all of it.

"I get that seeing that sort of thing hurts you. Fuck, he didn't come back – that'd throw anyone off," Moxley exhaled deeply. "I've seen some fucked up shit but it hasn't stopped me from getting the job done."

"You've also been doing this a whole lot longer than I have," Darcy was quick to defend herself.

"How old are you?" he asked her. She stepped backwards again and raised her eyebrows. "I'm not making a pass," he snapped at her. "I'm trying to work something out."

"I'm 22," she told him begrudgingly, suck in a deep breath and puffing out her chest. She was never going to be able to intimidate him – but she could try.

"I was 23 when I had my first CZW match. That shit fucks you up."

"Yeah well that's your fault," Darcy retorted disinterestedly. She didn't understand – nor care – why he was telling her. It wasn't helping her.

"I'm just letting you know that you're gonna walk away with scars, mental and physical in wrestling. You just have to get over it. Now come with me, we're going to fix you."

Darcy laughed loudly and sarcastically, "yeah good luck with that."

She rolled into the ring, leaning against the opposite ropes as Moxley stood on the apron, talking quietly to Norman. She looked to Ashley and shrugged when Ashley pointed to the conversation.

Norman gave Moxley the go ahead – whatever he said – and before Darcy knew what was happening, the two men were running shoulder block drills. Ashley and Darcy shared a confused look when they repeated it over and over again.

"How is this going to help me?" She asked with a bite, "Watching you two run drills while I stand back and do nothing. Genius idea, Moxley. You've really outdone yourself." Darcy snapped at him and rolled under the bottom rope – she had no problem taking a bump to her side; she had her arms to protect her.

"We're desensitising you," he drawled, causing her to turn back around and glance up at him. "If you see it happen enough times where no one gets hurt... Anyway, the plan is to get that other image out of your mind."

"So I have to think of you every time I do a back bump?" Darcy added sarcastically, "Fantastic. Exactly what I fucking want."

Despite her attitude, she crossed her arms on the apron and rested her head on them, watching them. She did so for almost five minutes. Just continuous shoulder blocks by Norman with Moxley dropping to the ground – his chin tucked in. Halfway through, she moved from outside the ring to sit cross legged in the corner. The back of his head barely touched the mat.

They stopped the drills and Moxley gestured for her and Ashley to give it a shot. She wanted to slap the smirk off his face.

Standing in the middle of the ring, Darcy took a deep breath and gave Ashley a go ahead nod. Ashley's shoulder connected with hers and she fell backwards. She didn't land on her ass but cleanly on her back – she had remembered to keep her chin tucked in.

"Fixed it," Moxley said with a knowing smirk on his face. "I'm just that good."

"I was going to thank you," Darcy said through gritted teeth as she got to her feet. "But if you're going to be a prick about it."

"No need to thank me, babe. I'm just happy to know that I fixed a little part of your fucked up brain."

"You don't even know the start of my fucked up brain," Darcy growled at him. If she were tall enough she would get in his face, but she had to settle for a menacing glare from a few feet away. He exited the ring, still smirking. She watched him walk away but couldn't stop herself from calling him back. "Hey, Mox! It's a nipple ring. Right one."

He turned back around; a confused but interested look on his face, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about. "Thanks for the info but I didn't ask."

"You had that look on your face."