2:23
"Human?"
Although she knew he was addressing her, Frisk didn't respond, as she was still recovering from the lengthier skeleton's traumatizing first impression. Most people she'd met greeted with a "hello", or "how do ya do"; but all she got from these monsters was a verbal bombardment.
"Jiminy Crickets, Sans, I broke 'em!" the skeleton in the red suit shrieked, showing immediate horror and remorse toward the actions that led to this moment.
"Nah, ya just spooked them a bit," the smaller skeleton in blue clarified, trying to calm the other down. Hearing the name and recognizing the suit and height difference, Frisk snapped out of her trance like state when she realized it was the same skeleton from Toriel's apartment. She never did get the chance to look at his face before; but having seen it now, she had only one thing on her mind.
Why was he smiling?
"Ya see, Paps, I think she's comin' to." Sans informed.
"Oh my god, Sans, don't just assume their gender," the one referred to as Paps scolded him, "We're already in enough hot water as is!"
"N-no," Frisk finally spoke up, catching both of their attentions, "He's right, I'm a girl. Well, woman, technically." The two bone heads looked at each other, Sans wearing a triumphantly smug expression.
"I'm afraid we got off on the wrong foot," the taller one elaborated, seeming apologetic, "We'd like to take things from the top, and start anew. This is my brother, Sans the Comic."
"Hey, how's it goin'?" Sans chimed in.
"And I, the magnificent creature sitting before you, am Papyrus the Great!" Paps introduced himself, putting quite a bit of emphasis on the adjectives in his introduction.
"Papyrus the Great?" Frisk repeated the name, questioning its flow.
"Yeah, why, what's wrong with it?" Papyrus asked, seemingly concerned by the human's undecided response.
"Oh, nothing," she assured, not wanting to give the wrong impression, "But have you ever considered, I dunno, the Great Papyrus?" Papyrus' jaw dropped upon hearing the newly arranged title, answering the human girl's question without even speaking.
"Dammit, that's good," He cursed himself for having never thought of it, "Sans, from this moment on, I shall forever be known as the Great Papyrus!"
"Does this mean I gotta send back the business cards?" Sans asked.
"Did ya already order 'em?" his brother enquired, concerned that his name change had came too late.
"Just came in today." the grinning skull answered, pulling a card from his pocket and handing it to his prideful sibling.
"What the-" Papyrus said, having been left puzzled after reading it, "Sans, there's been some kinda misprint, all the B's and S's are missin'!"
"Oh no, I ordered 'em like that." Sans remarked.
"Why would you do that?" the confused brother questioned, not understanding the comic's motive.
"Isn't it obvious," he replied, his smile seemingly growing wider, "Papyrus and Sans don't 'BS' anyone!"
"SANS!" Papyrus erupted, mortified that he'd fallen for another one of his brother's horrid jokes. Frisk couldn't keep herself from bursting out laughing, both from Sans' clever gag and Papyrus' over the top reaction.
"Ha, see, the kid thought it was funny." Sans chuckled.
"I don't know which is worse, the joke, or that you wasted 80g's to make it!" Papyrus groaned, rubbing his temples from the headache he was experiencing as a side effect. Frisk tried to understand why the bigger of the two hated the smaller of the two's choice in comedy, it was hilarious. He certainly lived up to his name. "Oh dear, I was so caught up in Sans' hijinks that I never did get your name, Human!" Papyrus realized.
"My name's Frisk." she answered, having calmed down from the laughter. The two just sat there with their eyes glued on her, as if they were expecting something else. "Frisk," she repeated, kind of unsure, "The Human?"
"Pleasure to meet ya, Frisk the Human," Papyrus greeted, shaking her hand bare hand with his leather gloved one.
"Ya wanna join our crew?" Sans offered without hesitation.
"Brother, do you even know the meaning of the word subtlety!" Papyrus scolded him.
"I know that it ain't you." the blue clad bones replied. Knowing that she wasn't getting anywhere with the two skelebrothers bickering back and forth, she sought to speed things up.
"Listen, I'm just looking for a ghost," the human girl explained her situation, "His name is Napstablook, and this is his stereo. I'm trying to find him so I can return it. Do either of you have any idea where he is?"
"Oh well, he's probably a-"
"Ya see, we'd love to help you with that and all," Sans was quick to cut off his brother, seizing the perfect opportunity, "But seein' that you're an outsider lookin' in, we can't just give away that kinda information."
"He's right, who's to say you ain't a snitch," Papyrus agreed, realizing he'd almost been so careless, "Or worse, a bill collector?" He leaned forward across the table until he was in Frisk's face again, staring into her eyes suspiciously.
"Who's to say you goons aren't tryna con me?" she retorted, realizing that they were up to something sketchy.
"Ah, a wise guy, 'ey," the skeleton responded with an arched brow, looking back at Sans as he leaned back away from her, "How 'bout we show her what we do to wise guys, ey, brother?" The context of that statement concerned Frisk, as did his menacing tone of voice.
"Go for it." Sans encouraged him, which only concerned her more. Papyrus reached into his red coat, clearly going for some kind of concealed weapon. Frisk took a step back, her heart racing as she entered panic mode. She considered running, but for some reason her legs wouldn't move any further. Her body had locked up in her terrified state that she had no clue of what to do. All she could think of was to close her eyes and hope it would end quick.
"Thirteen down," Papyrus spoke, "Nine letters. Most commonly referred to as clowns, they can make you laugh and cry." Her fear dissolved into confusion as she heard her apparent executioner speak, causing her to open her eyes to gain a better understanding. She never thought it possible to be so enlightened, and yet still so confused at the same time. Instead of wielding a gun as she'd experienced once already that day, the overdramatic skeleton wielded a newspaper and a pen. Apparently, he was on a crossword section, with only one word remaining blank.
"I'm tellin' ya, it's gotta be 'ATTORNEYS'." Sans rationed with him.
"It's not attorneys, Sans!" Papyrus denied.
"It fits!" Sans insisted, running his bony finger down the spaces.
"I know it fits, but that doesn't make it right!" Papyrus argued. Frisk wasn't sure if she was going to be able to take these two seriously, as everything they'd done so far only proved them to be relatively harmless.
"Harlequin." she answered, hoping that maybe this was some way she could gain their trust. And maybe having done that, she'd finally get some answers on Napstablook's whereabouts. Papyrus considered her answer.
"It fits!" Papyrus gasped in astonishment, filling it in.
"Good job, kiddo," Sans congratulated, "Still think my answer's right, but whatever."
"Congratulations, Human, you've passed the test," the presumably older brother cheered proudly, "You're now an honorary member of the Bad Time Crew! Welcome aboard!" He offered his hand to shake in both appreciation and agreement.
"E-excuse me?" Frisk stammered, not realizing what she had just done, "The what?"
"The Bad Time Crew," Papyrus alliterated, "We were originally going to be called the Good Time Crew, but Undyne shot it down."
"Said it wasn't intimidating enough." Sans added, yet still allowing the other to do most of the explaining.
"It was meant to be ironic," the lengthy skeleton explained his wording, "Ya know, like, if you stick with these guys, they'll show you a 'good' time!"
"I came up with the new name." the stubby skeleton informed.
"All he did was change 'Good' to 'Bad'!" Papyrus groaned, clearly holding some resentment towards his brother.
"She liked it." Sans said, somewhat proud.
"She tolerated it!" Papyrus argued, seeming to be in denial.
"Uh, hello, I still have no idea what I've signed up for!" Frisk interjected, still clueless. She must have been standing there for a good half hour and wasn't anywhere closer to finding the ghost, but had apparently enlisted herself into a gang. For this being her first night in the Underground, she seemed to be adapting well to her new environment.
"What you've signed up for, dear human, is the opportunity of a life time," Papyrus elaborated, "Wealth! Fame! Power! All at your finger tips! Everyone in the Underground will love and respect you!"
"Or hate and resent you," Sans chimed in, leaning back and propping his feet on the table, "Either way, ya still get the first three things."
"No denyin' it, that's always a possibility," his brother confirmed, "There's always risks in this line of work!"
"And what kinda work are we talkin' here?" Frisk asked, still not fully understanding what it was they were implying.
"Knockin' over banks." the reclining bag of bones answered bluntly.
"Sans!" Papyrus screamed again, obviously irate over his brother's selective filter. Frisk didn't expect an answer like that. She would've dismissed it as nothing more than another joke, if not for the sincerity in their voices. Suddenly, it all made perfect sense. The snazzy suits, the names, their crew, the talk about wealth and power; these two were a couple of gangsters. Seemingly ineffective ones, but gangsters nonetheless.
Knowing all that, her brain formulated her next course of action, clearly not wanting to get involved in hot waters like that. She'd be crazy to get mixed up in a life of crime, especially in a place where she was uneducated of the laws (or the punishments for breaking said laws). Declining their offer felt like the simplest solution, but there was a good chance of that not ending well for her. Even with their more than welcoming nature, they were still criminals with questionable morals. In fact, more likely than not, their friendliness was just a clever facade like the one Flowey had fooled her with not too long ago.
Did that mean that Flowey was a gangster too? Could they be working together? Sans' smile-
"'Eya, kid, ya might wanna duck down for a moment." her thoughts were cut short by the smiling skull that was on her mind, sounding a tad bit demanding.
"Wha-" Frisk didn't understand what he was trying to pull.
"Frisk, it seems we have an unwelcome guest joining us," the scarf wearing skeleton walked her through the situation quickly, seeming more alert, "For your own safety, I suggest you take cover underneath the table!" Even at that moment, she didn't know if she should trust the two of them, as they could've been luring her into a vulnerable state.
"We're not playin' a game here, toots!" Sans said, as she spied beads of sweat form on his skeletal face. That only raised more questions, but was enough to convince the human girl of the direness of their situation. She crouched down and crawled underneath the table, taking refuge in the space between where the skelebrothers sat. She remained unsure or whether or not she'd made the right decision in trusting them, as it still could have been a trap.
However, her worries were put to rest when another person joined the two at the table, standing where she once stood. Two long, purple, feminine, legs wrapped in fishnets, with crimson heels on their feet were the only parts she could see of their sudden visitor.
"Bonsoir, squelettes!" the stranger greeted the two in French.